Are you here to learn how to give a femdom blowjob? Let’s get the biggest elephant in the room out of the way first:
every blowjob a femdom gives is a femdom blowjob.
Being the dominant in a relationship is about doing “what you want” (within consent boundaries, of course). If you want to tie your partner up and edge them, have at it. If you want to make them wear a frilly anime outfit, have at it. And if you want to suck their cock, well, that’s dominant too.
I’m not really sure where, as a society, we decided that “oral sex = submissive act”.
It really isn’t. It’s just another way to place your body parts on top of someone else’s body parts and make people feel good – which is essentially what all of sex boils down to, in some way.
So, the best way to give a femdom blowjob? A femdom gives a blowjob.
That’s it.
If you’re a femdom who wants to suck off your partner, just do it (with their consent – though that probably doesn’t need to be stated here).
That being said, if you’re on this article, you’re probably looking for some good ways to infuse a bit more power exchange energy into your femdom blowjob – and I get that.
So let’s do it.
Use Bondage
It’s simple – but effective. If you instantly want to turn the tables while figuring out how to give a femdom blowjob, simply add bondage. The act of restraining the submissive – and making it difficult for them to move, instantly makes everything feel more vulnerable.
You can get as thorough – or as lazy – about this as you want to be. Both wrists in some cuffs? Simple. One ankle restrained to the chair with rope bondage so that they can’t “escape”? Done.
Don’t Let Them Cum
The simplest way to really ensure the power dynamic is at the forefront is simply to control the resulting orgasm. Blowjobs can feel amazing, but they’re generally considered a lead-up to an orgasm of some type.
So as you give that femdom blowjob, if you continually control that orgasm (to the best of your ability), you’re really controlling everything about the scene. The pace, the length: everything.
Feel free to simply keep them on edge until you decide to let them cum – or if you want a bit of additional sadism, don’t let them cum at all. Give them a 30-minute blowjob – and then let them know you’re done for the day and no orgasms will be had.
If orgasm denial is negotiated within your dynamic, this can really keep the dynamic constantly at the front of the experience.
If you choose to go with that denial, this can be a great spot to add in chastity cages. Some femdoms are a fan of a bag of ice directly to the erection to get it small enough to slip into a cage right after all of that blowjob pleasure. (Curious about chastity? Lock the Cock has a whole lot of info to introduce you to the concept.)
Cum Up with a Punishment If They Cum Too Soon
Turns out, femdom blowjobs – and especially blowjobs after extended periods of denial – can lead to super-fast orgasms.
If you enjoy watching your submissive struggle as they try not to blow their load as you pleasure them, this is for you. (It’s definitely for me.)
Make it clear that there will be a punishment (chastity? spanking? chores? a hard workout? forced feminization?) if they orgasm too soon. If you want them to truly struggle, make it a punishment they don’t want.
Then enjoy giving your blowjob as you watch your submissive partner try to hold back.
(If your partner has anxiety or self-esteem issues about their orgasm speed, this may not be a good fit.)
….or a Punishment If They Don’t Cum Fast Enough
Want to give a femdom blowjob – but not be here all day? That’s cool. Simply tell your submissive that there’s a time limit – and all blowjob activities stop after that timer hits 0.
If they cum before then, good. If not, well, there’s some punishment you can inflict on them. (Quick ideas could include restriction of orgasm, making them give you oral until you cum instead, “punishment” pegging, wearing a penis locking device, spankings, or simply doing the dishes. Up to you.)
To up the ante on this one, make it a timer they can see. Prop your cell phone up as the timer counts down. Something with seconds is especially effective; you can constantly see it going down. You can also use something like an alarm clock, TV – or even your microwave. The idea is to let your partner see it – and make them internally panic over the impending “doom”.
I want to be able to give you a set time to shoot for on that timer, but honestly, it’ll vary by your partner. Some submissives might cum in 30 seconds – and some might need at least 5 minutes, so 30 seconds wasn’t even worth trying for. Some people may take up to 30 minutes! So use the data you have on your partner to give it a good guess.
If you don’t have that data, consider timing your submissive in the future (med fet scene, hello!) to give you a good idea of where to start.
(As a note, especially if your femdom submissive has anxiety issues about their orgasm speed, this may not be a good fit.)
Simply Do What YOU Want
Do you know what my favorite thing about giving a femdom blowjob is? I do whatever the fuck it is I want.
With previous vanilla partnerships, the blowjob was always about doing the things I knew my partner liked – and then keeping them up – sore jaw be damned! – until they made it to orgasm. Maybe there were some different, planned-out, sensations in between the things they loved. The end goal of blowjob was “serious arousal or orgasm”, and that meant everything I did was in service to that goal.
I tossed that shit out the window for femdom blowjobs. Now I tend to think of it as a living, breathing toy I can play with.
What cool sounds can I elicit if I twist my hands on them with a bit of lube? (Sometimes those sounds are squeaks of pain and that’s fun too!) What shapes and movements feel awesome on my hands? What makes me feel powerful – or makes super cool/weird squelching noises? Let’s find out!
Is he gonna get off? Iunno. Maybe? Maybe not. Doesn’t really matter. I’m here to see what makes my inner self happy and do what feels like “play”. If I find something that’ll get them off someday, that’s cool. I might make a mental note of it. But if I don’t, that’s cool too. I had fun.
Use a Blindfold
Your submissive might be a really visual person. Honestly, most humans are. Our own body image issues aside, most of us like to watch our partners enjoy sexual pleasure.
Simply take that away from your submissive with a blindfold to instantly change the power dynamic. Now they can’t watch anything about the experience – and really have no idea what you’re doing. As you’re trying to simply figure out how to give a femdom blowjob in the best way, they might be feeling a bit vulnerable at the mercy of anything that comes to your mind.
Up the ante on this one by adding in things that you know your submissive would want to see. This will vary by the submissive and their kinks, but remember: they can’t see, so whatever you’re doing needs to be audible. Take breaks during your femdom blowjob to tease them in ways like this:
- Talking up how warm you are – and then pausing your femdom blowjob to noisily remove all of your clothing.
- Powering up your favorite sex toy that’s honestly a bit too loud – and using it on yourself as they listen.
- Foot fetishist? Talk up how sore your feet are and how you simply have to remove them from your shoes and massage them.
- For a chastity kinkster, have the cage nearby – and make them listen as it clinks or jingles. Talk up how they’re going into the cage right after.
- You can do a similar thing for a diaper fetishist or feminizing submissive. Move the fabric, let it make noise, and talk up what you’re going to put them in after you’re done with the blowjob.
Make It An Extremely Uncomfortable Position…for Them
Most oral sex positions tend to revolve around making the receiver super comfortable so they can really relax into the positions.
Take that idea and turn it on its head. After all, there’s no reason you should get a sore neck when simply repositioning your partner would make you more comfortable.
Personally, my favorite femdom oral sex position is to sit on a couch/chair/comfy sitting spot – and make the submissive stand in front of me. Yes, they get shaky legs, and it requires them to hold up all of their own weight as I pleasure them, but I’m super comfortable with no sore neck, wrists, mouth, or anything. Win-win.
You don’t have to be as nice as I am (I just let my submissive stand regularly, usually). You can make your submissive stand in heels or straddle a chair that keeps their legs uncomfortably apart.
At a certain point, you’ll start to reach a point where further modifications may make your submissive partner a bit less accessible and hard to reach, so you have to decide if making them extra uncomfortable is worth a bit of strain on your part. For me, the answer is usually “no” – though I have put my sub into heels before because I simply love the look of high heels. But your answer may be different.
Taking this a step further into that world of uncomfortable sex positions, you can inconvenience yourself with an oral sex position that isn’t fun for you – but it really, really places them at a disadvantage. For example, tying your submissive up into a hogtie position on their side will make them extremely uncomfortable – but will still leave the front bits available for a femdom blowjob.
Another position could have them spread eagle on their back on the bed – only you’ve used bondage restraints to pull their ankles as close to their head as possible. Now their ass, its hole, and everything between the legs is fully exposed and vulnerable – and you can play with what you wish.
You can also use objects around you to make “standard” blowjob positions pretty uncomfortable too. If they’re seated for their blowjob, simply add a spikey acupuncture mat under their butt. If they’re standing to receive it, they can stand on top of spread-out rice on a hard surface.
Turn It Into Predicament Bondage
Take an “uncomfortable position” a step further with the magic of predicament bondage. Predicament bondage is the idea that the receiver has to choose between two things – usually two things of equal pleasure or pain.
Let’s do an easy example. You simply require them to stand on their tippy toes in front of you for their femdom blowjob.
Now, the femdom blowjob only continues if they manage to stay on their tippy toes. If their calf muscles get sore and they place their heels on the ground, it’s game over. No more femdom blowjob.
In that instance, you’re making the receiver choose between the amazing feeling of a non-stressed calf muscle – or the amazing feeling of a blowjob.
Predicament bondage can be a blast because you get to really, really watch the internal struggle of your submissive. Especially if they’re really into the blowjob, in our above scenario, you’re going to get shaking knees, quaking thighs, and whimpering before they give up – especially if they don’t get an orgasm if they have to tap out.
Other predicament bondage scenario ideas that can work well when figuring out how to give a femdom blowjob:
- Make your submissive stand in impossibly high heels – and once they need to tap out of them, the blowjob is over.
- Make the submissive balance something (light in weight please!) on their head, and if it falls, the blowjob is over.
- Make the submissive hold an object in their palm, arm extended out fully to the side, and when they need to rest their arm or the object falls, the blowjob is over.
- Make the submissive hold a squat position to receive the blowjob, and when they need to stand again, the blowjob is over.
You can dream up longer predicament bondage scenarios too; the scenarios above will likely have your submissive tapping out within 5 minutes of starting the blowjob. It just really depends on what you’re after, how long you feel like giving your femdom oral, and how elaborate of a plan you want to dream up.
(Note of caution about predicament bondage: keep safety in mind – always. As your predicament bondage may push your submissive’s body to its limits, remember that the mouth – for that blowjob – has teeth. A stumble or a collapse of the submissive can scrape the hell out of the genitals – and harm you and them in the process. In the above-mentioned example, in an ideal world, we’d have a chest harness securely attaching them to an overhead bondage point to ensure that they don’t fall to the ground.)
Make Them Use a Dildo
Presumably, if you’re reading how to give a femdom blowjob, you’re probably focused on all of the business in the front. (But hey – if you’re giving rimming – props to you too. That counts too!)
But if you’re focused on the front bits, why not make them pleasure their other bits by themselves?
I’m talking about making them fuck themselves on a dildo – whether vaginally, anally, or orally – while you give that femdom blowjob. Not only will this make them climb to orgasm even faster, but it can make them feel really vulnerable as they’re forced to pleasure themselves while you’re right there in front of them.
Suction cup dildos or sex toy mounts are your BFFs here. (I prefer sex toy mounts because I find suction cup dildos tend to slide off the wall more than I’m willing to tolerate the interruption.)
Using the Liberator Bon Bon (the one I use most often, honestly), my partner can straddle a dildo for anal pleasure while I kneel in front of them to give a blowjob. We’ve also put that Bon Bon on a chair so that I have to bend over less while giving the blowjob.
Otherwise, stick that suction cup dildo up against the wall at ass level, and have them penetrate themselves anally while standing while you provide femdom oral on the front bits. Alternatively, put that suction cup dildo at their face height while they’re standing – and you can get between them and the wall to give a femdom blowjob while they give the dildo a blowjob.
If you’re a rimming aficionado, consider making your partner hump a sex toy like the Ruby Glow, Motorbunny, or a Fleshlight (with the help of a Fleshlight Mount) on the front bits while you do your business on the backend.
If either of you is into group sex or threesome scenarios, this can also be a great fit for roleplaying those scenarios too.
As an added bonus, this is some serious, serious stimulation for the receiver. You’re really just doing them a favor!
Explore Small Penis Humiliation
Is your partner into SPH? If so, giving a femdom blowjob gives you a try excuse to really explore some of this unique flavor of humiliation. Best of all, it’s easy as shit. Simply throw in some small penis humiliation phrases when you’re coming up for air. Things like:
- Oh wow. I’ve never had one fit down my throat so easily. Normally they’re too thick.
- I don’t even think I can fit a hand at the base here. There’s just not enough room.
- Um. This might be the smallest one I’ve ever had. Sorry if my technique seems a bit weird. I’ve just never tried to suck one this little.
- Oh, honey. I don’t think deep throating is an option for you. It has to reach the back of the throat for that.
Make Them Go Down On You First
While most parts of sex don’t really need to be quid pro quo (and this one doesn’t have to be either!), you can make your femdom blowjob experience feel a bit more domme-y by requiring them to go down on you first. Whether that’s your vulva, your cock, or a strap-on harness dildo that you’ve slid on, make it clear that they’re only going to receive as much pleasure as they provide to you – and with vigor.
So, if they give you a lackluster blowjob, they’ll receive a lackluster blowjob.
If their mouth muscles tire out after 10 minutes, they’ll receive 10 minutes – or less – of a blowjob.
You can play this methodology a few ways, but it lends itself particularly well if you and your submissive have a kink for your submissive being “inadequate”. Find things about the oral sex they provide to you to critique – and play them up as major inadequacies when giving the oral sex back to them.
(This can, honestly, be a blast if you’re both into it. They knicked you with teeth once? Have fun causing a good bit of wincing pain as you drag your teeth along them constantly. Did they miss the clitoris to start with? Welp, guess you’re giving a blowjob to the thigh. Maybe if they were less useless….)
On the other hand, if your submissive is particularly good or enthusiastic about the oral sex they provide, you can also use this as a “reward” to tell them that you wanted to make them feel as fantastic as they make you feel. It’s all about how you decide how to give a femdom blowjob.
Consider Orgasm Torture
Let’s say you give your submissive the most lovely of blowjobs. It was amazing, you were nice and let them cum, and then….you don’t stop the blowjob.
Now their extra-sensitive flesh is in overdrive, and the sensations are intense and bordering on painful.
If you want a way to instantly make it clear that blowjobs may not always be sunshine and roses, continuing past orgasm with vigor can instantly make that thought a reality.
If you’re past the point where you really want to keep licking/sucking (I get it), consider using an ultra-powerful vibrator – like a wand massager – to do the orgasm torture work for you. If you’re playing with a penis, this may become a two-handed job as the penis gets flaccid after ejaculation. (One hand to keep the penis in place and the other to hold the wand on it)
I highly, highly recommend restraints of some type; this sensation is stupid-intense, and you can get unintentionally whacked in the face by someone trying to escape it.
To get an idea for yourself, during masturbation, after orgasm, continue the exact same intensity of stimulation on yourself even after the orgasm has entirely subsided. If you can orgasm from penetration alone, getting the same sensation may require including penile/clitoral stimulation to get the same effect.
