BDSM Scenes, Step-by-Step: How to Fake a Threesome

Welcome to a discussion on how to fake a threesome – the latest addition to my BDSM Scenes, Step-by-Step series. Each one of the articles within this series includes simple, BDSM scene outlines you can follow. We’ll break down the ideas behind the scene, how to make it hot, how to make it happen, how to make it as safe as possible, and even what to say during it!

Especially when I was new to being kinky, I was nervous about what, exactly, I should be doing, and I spent hours scouring the internet, trying to find outlines for my scenes.

So now that I have more experience under my belt, I’m providing it to you as a spring board for your own scenes! Use them as inspiration, and modify them until they fit into your own sex life. But these BDSM Scene Outlines give you a place to start – and inspiration to build from!

Now, let’s get onto how to fake a threesome:

This Scene Is….

A hot way to live out your threesome fantasies – even if the idea of actually involving a third person in your sex life is absolutely terrifying.

It utilizes different toys – and “mindfuck”-type activities – to help the receiving partner feel like there are multiple people around – even if that isn’t the case. It takes quite a bit of pre-planning, but it won’t involve another person unless you want it to.

Scene Is: Sexual, Foreplay-Heavy.

What Do You Need

This scene is very, very unique to each person. It depends on what things you want to simulate and how far you want your deception to go. This means you might want more than this list – or much less. I’ll do my best to give you a good starting point:

Must-Haves

• Blindfold that blocks out all light
• Music-listening device (headphones, earbuds) that makes it hard to hear outside noise
• Playlist of music without ads on a device they can have on them for the scene
• Bondage options – preferably all four limbs tied down to the surface beneath the bottom. An Under-the-Bed Restraint system will make this workable for a hotel room.
• Clothing for the Top/Dominant to wear that isn’t loose

Potential Items for Mindfuckery

• Hotel room for an unfamiliar change of pace
• Champagne, three glasses, and other classic “casual sex at a hotel” vibe items
• A cell phone that can make calls
• Optional thigh cuffs, collar, and further bondage restriction
• Warmed chocolate (with optional syringe)
• Change of clothing with fabrics the Top/Dominant would never wear
• Clothing for the bottom that can be cut/ruined
• Sensation play items (preferably on sticks!) like feathers, chains, satin, and more to reach other parts of your partner’s body. Feel free to literally zip-tie an item to a plastic flag stick; your partner won’t see it.
• A fake/faux hand for another “hand” on their body

Potential Sexually-Focused Items for Sexual Fulfillment

• Bowl of warm water or a sex toy warming device
• Lots of lubricant
• Multiple condoms – possibly with other textures
• Nipple clamps
• Vibrating anal plug
• As many other hands-free sex toys as possible for lots of stimulation
• Realistic dildo – possibly in an unfamiliar size
• Strap-on harness
• Sex machine with variable stroke length and speed
• A power strip/extension cord if you’re bringing corded sex toys in a hotel room. You never know where the outlets will be.

How Long Does It Take?

Pulling off how to fake a threesome requires a bit of time. The idea is to drive your partner wild with overwhelming sensations while they’re left helpless to really know where each sensation is coming from.

I would expect to spend multiple hours prepping for the scene (gathering supplies, making a playlist, testing your equipment, brainstorming unique ways to pleasure your partner).

I would block off the entire evening (and day, if possible!) for the scene. This BDSM scene plays out best if your partner is relaxed, horny, and thinking about a threesome even before it happens. Once you get into the active “scene” parts, expect to take 1-3 hours depending on how long you want to draw things out.

How Do You Prep for Faking a Threesome?

Your first step is to talk about a threesome with your partner. Are they actually interested? Is this something they’d find hot? Just the fact that you’re “planning” a threesome will be surprising enough, so feel free to be open and negotiate a threesome with your partner. The last thing you want is for your partner to think a third person is kissing them – and that’s on their hard limits – so they safeword out of your fake threesome within minutes of starting.

Make sure you know what they’d be comfortable with in a threesome, and use their suggestions and ideas as starting points for some of the types of activities that you’re going to try to make happen during your fake threesome. If they’re not okay with another person penetrating them, using a dildo on them during a fake threesome might be catastrophic instead of fun.

Next, we want to test our tools of sensory deprivation. Because pulling off this fake threesome depends heavily on your partner being lost in sensory deprivation, we need to ensure your “tools” work correctly.

Wear the blindfold you plan on using on your face. Does it let in light? Can a person peek underneath it? What happens if you wiggle your head on a pillow? Does it easily slide off? Make sure your blindfold is going to stay in place once it’s put on your partner’s head.

You’ll also want to come up with a playlist of music. As this is going to play during the entirety of your scene, you want it to have heavy sexual overtones that they would find sexy.

Once your playlist is fully crafted, you want to listen to it, while paying attention, start to finish, in the same app and headphones you plan on making your partner listen to it in. Are any songs too loud? Too soft? Make sure the playlist has an even volume level. About a half an hour should suffice – and you can set the playlist to repeat. I caution against using any music service with ads because the unexpected drops in noise may reveal your fake threesome, so use an ad-free service or pay to own the music outright.

While you’re at it, test out your audio-playing device. Headphones? Earbuds? Make sure they stay in and stay in place even while someone may be thrashing about with pleasure.

Finally, as the day drags closer, your clothing choice is important too. Do not wear any loose clothing as the top. If your loose shirt drags along their skin while you’re trying to fake an additional person, it can “give away” what’s going on. Feel free to strip off clothing or wear tight clothing for this scene.

Oh, and charge all the sex toys you want to use too. There’s nothing worse than sex toys dying mid-use.

Step-by-Step Instructions

This mindfuck is all in the preparatory work. While the scene itself uses some trickery to make it seem like a threesome, you’ll have the best results if you ensure your partner has been thinking about a threesome – and thinking that it might actually be in the cards for them. That will help them stop questioning what’s going on – and instead assume the thing you want them to assume.

Start with the weeks leading up to your expected “threesome” date. Start bringing more threesome topics into conversations. Who would you have a threesome with? What would they want to do in a threesome? Do you want to visit some of the best cam sites together to browse cams and talk about who you’d want to threesome if the chance just happened to come up?

As your date gets closer, start to make the questions even more pointed: when would they be available for a threesome? Do they know if their friend is available on [date of your scene]? Mention that you want them to block off the night of your scene for a special surprise you’ve been planning with someone else.

Depending on what your sex life looks like, you might consider leaving out some odd sexual things that wouldn’t normally be around the house. Make it a point to state you need to buy condoms at the store (even if you both don’t use condoms). Same thing for dental dams. Potentially stock up on more lube – and be flirty and cagey when they ask what’s going on. (Don’t genuinely upset them, but you know how to draw out a surprise with your partner.) Buy them new lingerie and ask them to wait to wear it until your scene date.

Day-of, we’re going to go full-tilt on foreplay and arousal. It’ll be easier to pull off your faux threesome if the logical parts of your partner’s brain aren’t working so well – like if they’re extremely aroused. You know what turns your partner on. If you have a busy day, consider scheduling texts about the evening’s plans – or even sending suggestive pictures that might hint at the idea of a threesome. This can be especially easy to do if you booked a hotel for the night. Photos of room keys – or setting up elaborate champagne/date-night/”swinger” set-ups with treats and booze can be a great way to get someone’s gears turning.

Once you’re ready for the night to begin in the room where your scene will happen:

1. Get the hotel room (or your bedroom!) how to fake a threesome ready. Pull out all of the sex toys you’ll need, but make sure they’re safely hidden out of sight. Have safer sex items out and around, but don’t get them perfect yet (you’ll want to move them around later for the effect). Get your laying space ready for your partner to be bound to it.
2. When they arrive, tell them you have a surprise for them, and request them to lay back on the bed/massage table/sex furniture. Pick a comfortable position they can hold for a long period of time. They’ll be here awhile. You may offer them a bit of that beverage to “calm their nerves” if that’s normal for you.
3. Once they’re in place, add bondage. At a minimum, I recommend binding their wrists and ankles to keep them from “reaching out” to touch their threesome partner. You can go more hardcore, though, and add the thighs and a collar (and more!) if you want.
4. All the while, add erotic touch as you fasten them into their bondage. Drag fingernails against their skin from Point A to Point B. Stop to touch their sensitive spots for a bit. Let them touch your body as you bind them up. Don’t go all-out at this point, but make sure there is some erotic touch involved to keep their arousal level high. Talk up how hot their “surprise” is going to be.
5. Once they’re bound, finish “setting up” the room while they can still watch. Get out some condoms. Get out anything else you think would work well for making a successful threesome happen – and continue to hide some of those sex toys you brought.
6. When you’re ready to continue, let them know you need to make a phone call, and take your phone into the bathroom. Pretend you’re letting someone “know” that it’s time but you’re trying to be discreet about it. Think hushed conversation and cryptic phrases about a surprise.
7. Emerge successfully and let your partner know that you just “had to take care of something”.
8. Now for the blindfold; this will give you a lot more leeway in keeping them unaware of what you’re doing. Continuing to play up your erotic touch, slide a blindfold over their eyes. I recommend a high-quality blindfold with virtually no light leaks. We really do want them entirely blindfolded in this case. Any peeking could ruin your fantasy building.
9. Now that they can’t see, step away from your partner to set up your sex toys. Avoid turning anything on, but the sound of jingling zippers and rustling fabrics will be really interesting to them now that they have no idea what’s going on. Avoid giving it away via any obvious sex toy sounds (I know I can identify the sound of my vibrators turning on with no problem.)
10. When you’re ready, knock on a hard wooden surface. If you can discreetly make it to the door, that knock will carry the most realistically.
11. Yell out “One second!” at the door, and pretend like you weren’t expecting them so soon.
12. We’re now going to rush over to your partner and get the headphones and music set up. Turn on the music and the headphones – and test them on yourself first. You want them to be loud enough that it’s very very hard to hear anything going on outside of the headphones – but not painfully so.
13. Go to place them onto your partner’s head. Do one ear first – and be ready to yank it away from their head if it’s too loud. Everyone has their own noise preferences. Let them know to tap twice, loudly, if it’s too much once you get the second half on. Place the other ear cup. If they’re good, go ahead and step away from them.
14. Open the front door and let it close loudly. Feel free to have a lengthy “conversation” out loud with this person while you finish up getting all of your toys ready. If you’re going to use warmed toys for added realism, this is the time to set up your sex toy warmer – or get a bowl of hot water.
15. Feel free to spend time “conversing” with your threesome partner. Remember: we’re building suspense. Your partner doesn’t know what’s happening, and their mind is turning while they’re laid out and waiting. The anticipation alone can be extremely erotic, so use it to your advantage and don’t feel rushed.
16. When you go to touch your partner again, you need to think about being someone else. You aren’t your partner’s partner; you’re a semi-close friend who has never touched their skin before. Your touch is hesitant – and unsure. It can be clumsy – and it rests longer in odd spots that your own does not. It doesn’t touch your partner’s pleasure parts the same way – and it’s certainly not proficient in how to get your partner to orgasm. Consider using your non-dominant hand for a lot of things. It’ll instantly make things feel less “easy”.
17. Start off with your sensation play options. Using sensation play toys should allow you to easily drag multiple toys along their skin – to start off with the uncertainty of “is there someone else here?”. Consider holding feathers/chains on a stick to two (or three!) to a hand to drag along your partner’s skin. Use your other hand to do something else at the same time.
18. Always assume you’ll be using both hands during this scene to make it as realistic as possible.
19. Awkwardly bend down to kiss and snuggle your partner’s forehead and face in your trademark manner – while bending your arm to an odd angle to touch somewhere else that seems like it’d be odd for someone bending over.
20. Play with the chest and nipples for awhile – including some conversation and loud laughs like two people awkwardly getting into a threesome.
21. Touch the nipples in an awkward, uncomfortable way that “you” would never do. Possibly cause pain – and/or make it not as pleasurable as usual. Then use your other hand to rest overtop of your first hand, and verbally explain how your partner likes their nipples touched while showing the first hand “how to do it”. Do a clumsy version of it once you switch back to “not you”.
22. Consider using a nipple sucking toy – or nipple clamps – on the nipples now to instantly add more sensation. Let “not you” put them on in a way you wouldn’t normally do it, but “fix it” after they’re done.
23. If you have an erection (or want to rub your crotch onto your partner regardless), consider swapping pants/underwear real quick to a new fabric they wouldn’t recognize as your own. (Denim for dress slacks, cotton for satin, etc.)
24. If you’re going to do that, consider letting their hands feel your erogenous zones through your clothing. I don’t know of anyone who can identify someone by only the bulge or just a panty-covered vulva. Make sure to hold their hand in place to keep their hands from wandering as you “ride” their hand for your own pleasure.
25. Giving oral sex can also be a great way to continue your faked threesome. Just keep in mind that it’ll need to be your own body parts unless oral sex on sex toys is something you do often. Even if you cover it with a condom or dental dam, a dildo and penis stroker just feel and smell very different in the mouth than a biological penis. Stick to oral sex on your own parts for the most realism.
26. If you choose to go with oral sex, both of your hands should be busy while your partner is pleasuring you. I’d recommend using something with a handle to be able to reach down your partner’s body to “touch” near their thighs and other side of their body to continue the “multiple partner” feel to it. This is where the “faux hand” we talked about in the supplies early on could really come in handy.
27. Talk about the oral sex – or conversationally brag about it – to your “threesome partner”. You could also consider lifting up your bottom’s headphones for a second to let them know. Something like “I know you couldn’t hear it, but I told him/her/them that your mouth feels amazing.” Then put the headphones back in place.
28. Don’t forget to mix all of this up with constant stimulation of their body with your hands and sensation play toys. A bit of spanking and slapping might be fun too. Always try to reach your hands far apart on their body to give the “feel” of multiple partners.
29. Repeat the nipple-touching experiment all over again – but this time between the thighs. Have “not you” touch in a way that’s really unfamiliar. It might be an extra-tight grip, a focus on the head, or tugging painfully on the balls. It could be using the base of the palm, trying to go straight into the vagina, or using the knuckles. Whatever it is, it isn’t “you” – or what your partner likes.
30. Then place your hand over your first hand to “teach” the first hand how to do things. You can let that second hand provide pleasure for awhile if you’re feeling it.
31. At some point, you may want to add some additional stimulation (in addition to the nipple clamps!) to their body. If that’s the case, consider a set-it-in-place vibrator. For a penis-owner, this could be something like the Hot Octopuss Jett or the Lovense Gush. For a vulva-owner, you have your choice of a lot of options like panty vibrators, butterfly vibrators, egg vibrators, couple’s vibrators, and more. The idea is to find a way to pleasure your partner that doesn’t require you to give it attention or hold it in place.
32. You can also use anal toys. I specifically recommend the vibrating variety. Having so much sensation going on (vibrators, clamps, dildos, movement, full-body touch) at the same time can make it really hard to stop and critically think about what’s going on. Adding an anal vibrator simply adds another simultaneous sensation. Feel free to make a production out of it.
33. Dildos can be a big help here. I recommend going as realistic as possible (Vixen Creations would be my top recommendation, but many dual-density options will be more realistic than single-density dildos). Warm it up, ensure it’s fully dry, add a condom and lube, and you can have a penis that feels very different in a vagina or butt than any biological penis you both play with. For added “fake threesome” feelings, choose a dildo that’s realistically-shaped but unlike the biological penis in your life and strap the dildo onto yourself while wearing your pants to obscure the feel of the harness from them during use.
34. This scene can “end” whenever you want it to. It’s all about taking those overwhelming sensations and continuing them until your partner is satisfied (or too sore to continue!). Feel free to “end” the scene in a way that’s simultaneously orgasmic for you – like using their face for oral sex or intercourse. You might also consider sitting on top of your bottom and sharing a vibrator while the fake “partner” has intercourse with them (with a warmed dildo).
35. If you want to cause an “explosive” finish when you or your fake threesome partner ejaculates, consider having a warmed bottle of drizzling chocolate nearby. You can put it into a syringe if you want more of a “spurting” sensation. While you’re busy somewhere else, put effort into shaking the table (or their body) near where your fake threesome partner would be jerking off. End all of the shaking with an explosion of “ejaculate” somewhere on your partner’s body. (Not the face. Tasting chocolate will instantly end that realism!)
36. After the scene, decide if you want to expose your trickery. If not, lift their headphones and let them know they did great and you’ll cuddle them, but you need to say good-bye to your threesome partner first. Have more pretend conversation, let the door shut loudly, and shuffle back over to your partner. Use a towel/water to remove the chocolate if needed, and then remove your partner’s headphones. Depending on how hard you both went, they may be extremely spacey.
37. Enjoy all of the aftercare with reassurance for one another about your importance in each other’s life. Remember: they may assume the threesome was real, and this can bring up a lot of feelings, so make sure to reiterate the strength of your bond and how much fun you had.

(Fair warning: At a certain point, pretending there was a third person involved when there wasn’t will be an immoral form of deception. If your partner wants the info about the scene but you’re withholding it, you’re likely to cause distrust. Don’t let your ego get in the way of being honest about the scene you did! Some people will have a vague idea that it wasn’t all real, but enjoy the idea of it being real in their head, so they may not push for the real answer.)

Take It Further

Normally, this is where I’d write out some pre-written dirty talk for you. Since we’re planning on keeping that receiving partner bound, blindfolded, and unhearing, though, talking to your partner might be a little fruitless this time around.

Instead, let’s talk about some over-the-top ways to take this scene to the next level:

• Use a sex machine with patterns – or regularly change up the sensation. Most of us don’t thrust to a rhythmic beat, so you’ll need to swap up the settings on your sex machine often. But a sex machine can be that “helping hand” you might be looking for when you’re trying to figure out how to fake a threesome. Make sure the music is loud enough to drown out the sex machine’s whine.
• Get a trusted friend to help out. You both may not be open to having a third person participate in sex with you, but if you’re open to having a friend nearby, you can ask this trusted friend to watch the scene – and enjoy conversation with them while they’re there. With the bound person’s headphones, they won’t likely be able to make out the exacts of a conversation. If your partner’s comfort level includes things like “I’d be okay being touched by someone else in a threesome but not kissed or fucked”, this trusted friend could also provide some of the extra hands to make it possible.
• When you need to make the phone call to invite them in, use a phone-calling service to make your phone ring instead. This could also be your phone alarm set to match your phone’s ringtone. You have to plan really well down to the minute for that one!
• Add conversations to the music. Do you have audio editing skills? Consider setting up an edited playlist; overlay barely-audible conversations with the music tracks. Now it can sound like an entire group of people – even if it’s only one.
• Use condoms over all of the items. Presumably, safe sex would be high on the priority list if this was another person, so your partner may expect condoms. Consider swapping up the condoms – and adding some textured/different-feeling condoms – to make it clear when something/someone “new” is happening.
• Bring something large that can be warmed to be placed next to your partner’s skin. It needs to feel like human skin (or wearing “clothing”) to make it seem like someone else is kneeling/standing next to them in a different spot than you are.
• Use something as a “fake hand” that you can manipulate from your armpit or another spot. Practice dummy hands for nail art are realistically-sized and relatively cheap. (They even make ones with long handles!) Make sure to warm them up in water (and dry them!) for a semi-real, warm sensation against the skin.
• You might wish to experiment with ripping/tearing the bottom’s clothes. If that’s the case, make sure these are disposable items they wouldn’t be upset about. Most people will generally wear their best lingerie/underwear to an expected threesome. But having the fabric moving around their body will be an additional, distracting sensation for their brain to contend with.

Cautions!

Fantasies aren’t always reality.

This means that your receiving partner might find it hot AF to think about having a threesome, but if your faux threesome feels realistic enough, they may start to freak out – and realize they’re not comfortable or okay with this.

(I mean, they don’t know you’ve been reading “how to fake a threesome” articles!)

I recommend having a game plan in place in case that happens. You obviously shouldn’t continue the scene, but you should mentally prep yourself to ensure you don’t meet your partner with frustration over a “spoiled” scene you’ve spent so much time planning. 

Once your partner knows that you were just pulling off an amazing version of how to fake a threesome, they’ll likely relax, and you can both enjoy the rest of your time together, but it’s possible that this may have dredged up feelings that feel overwhelming and overtake the rest of your evening together.

Just make sure to be prepared to stop in case this comes up. Kinky things can occasionally bring up unexpected emotions.