Let’s Talk about my Premature Ejaculation Fetish
I still remember it to this day – and remember it quite often with my hand between my legs. It was my first night with a new guy; we’d been friends for months, but after an intimate and emotional confession that night, we’d felt closer than ever. Those tearful, initial vulnerable disclosures quickly turned into heavy kisses.
Those same kisses quickly turned passionate as we explored our bodies in the same way that we’d shared our minds. Finding our original discussion spot a bit lacking in space, we moved into the welcoming folds of the bed.
Anyone who’d been nearby would have known exactly what we were doing: the room was filled with passionate moans as the two of us, fully clothed, found the boundaries of exploration possible with clothing still on. I was grinding against him, and he was grinding against me, and it was the most exquisite torture. It went on for hours, both of us seemingly fully content with the connection of our mouths and the masochistic denial of exposing any further skin. We occasionally broke apart for air and murmured words of surprise, but we’d quickly find our lips conjoined again before long.
During this extended piece of foreplay, our moans were getting particularly loud – and the erotic potential felt heavy enough to burst me at the seams.
And for him: it literally did.
He withdrew within seconds – and the difference was night and day. In a few second time span, he went from a passionate, attentive partner to a person who was attempting to excuse themselves to the bathroom and wouldn’t even look at me.
My legs wrapped around his, I didn’t give him an easy out, and I demanded an explanation for the complete change in demeanor. I could say that I did it nicely or with consent in mind, but with hours of arousal coursing through my veins, it probably wasn’t one of my finer moments.
With an inability to meet my eyes, he haltingly explained that he’d already ejaculated – right into his pants. He felt ashamed, embarrassed, and pretty darn sure I was going to never want to explore his body again.
Instead, it was a massive turn on. I think my words were something along the lines of “You were so turned on by me that you couldn’t help but cum?”
At that point, I think he figured out the conversation wasn’t going to be as soul-crushing as he’d imagined. So, we talked it out a bit, but honestly, it quickly went back to making out – as it really was a gigantic turn-on.
It was during that day that I really realized that I had a premature ejaculation fetish. I’d always loved desperation in its various forms, but I’d never explored the potency of putting it into sex and ejaculation until that moment – where it happened all on its own.
(Oh, and we ended up making out until like 6:30AM when we, literally, were turning into zombies. I think my lips were chapped to all hell – and bloody the next day too. The soreness was real – but I’d do it all again.)
So, why do I have a premature ejaculation fetish? I can’t explain it for everyone, but here’s why it’s so appealing to me:
It Means He’s Really, Really Turned On
It’s hard to be upset about a partner who’s really really turned on – by both the situation and by me. I consider it a lovely compliment that someone is so turned on by what’s going on that they’re on the verge of orgasm with minimal stimulation.
I know that some bodies are more sensitive than others – and that speed to orgasm isn’t necessarily a reflection of enjoyment – but it still feels fantastic sometimes when he’s unexpectedly caught at the edge of orgasm when he didn’t expect it to be.
Even when our premature ejaculation fetish leaves him actually cumming when we didn’t want him to (yet), it’s still pretty hot to think about how overwhelming the pleasure must have been to cum when he was intentionally trying not to.
It Pairs Perfectly with Edging
I love edging. I find it one of my favorite femdom tools out of the entire toolbox – which is entertaining because it isn’t very “femdom” at its base level at all.
But edging is fantastic. Not only does it continually amp up his arousal level until we hit a point where he’s frantic with arousal, but it also feels fantastic for him. If we’re doing any type of mutual pleasure, it also means that I can take my time with my own stimulation, and I don’t have to necessarily worry about his stimulation; he’s already ready!
Partnering that with a fetish for premature ejaculation, it means that he gets close to orgasm – and very quickly. There have been times where a few strokes (prefaced by, literally, zero stimulation for him) has had him on the verge of orgasm. This works wonders for me and for my interest in edging. It means I don’t have to work very hard to keep him on the edge – and I can be relatively sure that he’ll be able to orgasm as soon as I decide I want to let him do so – whether that’s with kinky sex cams, my hand, or even by humping a couch cushion.
It Means His Brain Isn’t Anywhere Else
Trying really, really hard not to ejaculate takes up the majority of the brain’s resources. Sure, if we were in the middle of a generic handjob, his mind could be wandering to something else. But as soon as he’s on the precipice of orgasm and trying not to disappoint me, we’re at a point where he’s constantly focused on the stimulation and the sensations.
I love having his full attention, and especially when I’m calling the shots (which tends to be all of the time), it means that his full attention is on me and what I’m doing to him.
He’s Ready When I Want
If he’s constantly about to orgasm with the slightest bit of stimulation, it means that he’s almost always ready for orgasm. As I tend to be a “one and done” person most of the time, this means I can easily control his orgasm for simultaneous orgasms.
As my orgasms tend to be harder to perfectly nail down (which tends to be the case with most penis-owner and vulva-owner pairings), this allows him to be the reliable, always-ready partner that will be there and ready to ejaculate as soon as I’m ready to orgasm.
It’s Great Humiliation Fodder
We enjoy small penis humiliation and other types of humiliation – and a premature ejaculation kink just slides in so perfectly to all of that. Just look at how perfectly a lot of these statements can fit into a premature ejaculation situation – while simultaneously hitting other kinks:
- No wonder it’s so small! God wouldn’t waste any length on someone who’s a hair trigger like you! (small penis humiliation)
- A real man wouldn’t cum as quickly as you do. This is exactly why I need to replace your useless cock. (cuckolding)
- There’s a reason I don’t let you out of this cage so often, and it’s because your dick is so entirely useless. Why should I bother letting it out when it’s going to cum in 2 thrusts? (chastity cages)
- That little dicklet of yours just cums in three seconds anyway. Why should I bother letting you have the same underwear that real men wear? (forced feminization)
- Awww. You can’t even last four strokes? God, that’s embarrassing. (just some good ol’ standard humiliation)
Your premature ejaculation fetish doesn’t have to touch on humiliation or embarrassment at all; it can just be a sign of devotion or arousal. But if you do enjoy playing with humiliation, it fits in perfectly for most scenarios.
They Make Strap-On Harnesses
“But, Mistress Kay,” I can hear you arguing. “What about when you actually want to enjoy some good intercourse?”
I’m not a huge intercourse person, and when I do want it, I generally am happy and satisfied with the sub-30 seconds that my premature ejaculation fetish partner can provide.
But, on the rare chances where I want more than that, I’d much rather just swap to my partner wearing a strap-on harness and dildo. Not only does that take erection out of the equation, but I also can select the perfect dildo for what my body wants. It’s easy for him to strap on, and at that point, the only limit to the intercourse I get to enjoy is how far his cardio is going to take him.
(Since we’re talking about premature ejaculation, though, we’ve strapped a harness on him multiple times – with his penis nowhere near the action – and he’s still cum from strap-on sex before.)
Note: Ranges of “Premature Ejaculation” Fetish
Technically, the medical terminology for “premature ejaculation” is: when a penis-owner ejaculates earlier during intercourse than they (or their partner) would like.
That leaves a whole lot of wiggle room in the world of reality. Is three minutes satisfying for one couple, so they never even think of calling it “premature ejaculation”? Is three minutes well under the twenty minutes another couple would like, so they assume the penis-owner has a “condition”? Or, do we only reserve the definition of “premature ejaculation” for people who cum well beyond what they’d like – like in their pants from seeing their partner naked?
I could get deep into the depths of discussing this, but the point is: there is a gigantic range of what “premature ejaculation fetish” could look like in practice. It might look like getting close to orgasm much earlier than expected. It might look like orgasm in your underwear before the play even starts. It might even look like cumming in the process of trying to first penetration your partner – or even just putting on the condom. What a “premature ejaculation fetish” can look like to you is unique to your interests and those of the person who ejaculates.
Of course, all of this ignores that the medical definition states “earlier than intercourse or than they (or their partner) would like” – while I’m intentionally enjoying the earlier orgasm state, so it’s about exactly on time with what I’d like – so “no premature ejaculation here”.
So, y’know, grain of salt and all that.
Updated: January 2024.
