If there’s one thing most of us know about sexual lubricants, it’s that they dry up. Whether you’re using a super-slick silicone-based lube or a fairly dry water-based lube, your slickness will eventually dry up and require reapplication – whether you’re looking for an edging lube or trying to use one during intercourse.
And y’know, that isn’t the end of the world. You trade off a bit of extra slickness now with needing to reapply later – and clean up lube afterwards. That’s a trade-off most of us make on a regular basis – and our improved sex lives thank us for it. (Seriously. Attempting intercourse, for me, without lube is extremely unpleasant.)
But the equation – and your lube needs – change a bit when we’re talking about edging or “gooning”. Instead of the assumption that we need our lube to last for 30 minutes, that same lube may now need to hold up to 6 hours of use.
That also expands your exposure, too. Instead of assuming this slippery liquid will have access to your skin for an hour a week, you might find that you’re coated in lubricant for hours each week. Depending on how hardcore you “goon”, this might be the equivalent of a part-time job!
With more access to your skin, the ingredients in that lubricant are now even more important.
As a femdom couple that enjoys edging and gooning, we’ve definitely noticed some changes that happen when we use multiple coats of lube over an entire afternoon versus a quick, 10-minute pleasure session:
- Wrinkly skin.
- Solidified/goopy lube.
- Decreased efficacy over time
An Interview with Urologist Dr. Karyn Eilber
I had the chance to ask questions to Dr. Karyn Eilber, an LA-based, board-certified urologist. With her 20 years of experience, Dr. Karyn Eilber, with help of her friend Renée, created the GLISSANT line of lubricants: lubricants designed with natural ingredients to help vulva-owners reduce the pain and vaginal dryness that has kept them from enjoying intercourse in the past.
She had some great input about the world of lubes – and ones that can help us figure out what the best edging lube is:
“What about lube makes the skin wrinkly with extended use – and what ingredients can be avoided to help reduce that? “
A lubricant’s osmolality can cause wrinkling of the skin. Osmolality is a measure of the concentration of molecules in a product compared to the concentration of molecules with what the product (lubricant) is coming in contact with. If a lubricant has osmolality that is higher than the cells of the vaginal lining, then the vaginal tissues will release their own moisture actually causing more dryness and “wrinkling.” This makes the vaginal tissue more prone to tearing which ultimately increases the risk of infection.
“What ingredients might be of concern when looking at lubricant – and why are those ingredients of concern?“
- Glycerin: sugar that can predispose to yeast infections
- Propylene glycol: ingredient in antifreeze…no need to say more
- Parabens: preservative that has been linked to fertility problems and may act as an estrogen so avoid if breast cancer risk
- Phthalates: make plastic more flexible and are linked to reproductive and endocrine toxicity (lower sperm counts in men and altered thyroid function in women)
“Not everyone will necessarily share the same view concerning ingredients; in what circumstances are some of those ingredients okay to use? (e.g. allergen concerns vs reproductive health concerns) “
An analogy would be food—someone without digestive issues or a lot of food allergies and who isn’t concerned about exposure to possible unhealthy toxins can eat just about anything; however, this is becoming increasingly less common. The same is true for lubricants.
“As some people might be using their lube for anal endeavors, is there anything people should look out for in regards to ingredients with their digestive and bowel movement health when considering extended use?“
The only concerns are those listed in the first question regarding osmolality. All digestion and bowel movements are complete before reaching the rectum, so a lubricant won’t have any effect on those.
“Extended use of a lubricant can lead to a lot more contact with the ingredients of a lube. We both know this makes the ingredient make-up of lube even more important. With the assumption that someone might be slathered in their particular lube for upwards of 5 hours a week, is there anything, in particular, they need to worry about, ingredient-wise? “
The important points are above regarding osmolality and the potentially harmful chemicals. More broadly, when condoms are used, a water-based lube should be used because oils can break down the latex in condoms.
“Let’s be real: washing off lubricant can be a pain in the butt. Any tips from a lube expert? “
Don’t buy silk sheets lol
How to Buy a Gooning Lube
Fascinating stuff, right? I always try to keep lubricant ingredients in mind when buying a lubricant, but having it all laid-out, flat, in one place can really help with easier shopping when trying to find a good edging lube. (or, really, any lube!)
Let me add some of my own tips, from years of edging and gooning play:
Experiment with Edging Lubes
Finding the right lube for your body and play will take time. There are hundreds of thousands of sex lubes on the market; it’s absolutely astounding how big the market is.
The likelihood that the first lube you pick up will be your magnum opus is unlikely.
Expect to experiment with quite a few lubes before you find the best one for the activity you want to do. Using the information above from Dr. Eilber, look at each lube you use critically – and figure out what you do/don’t like about that lube and how the ingredients might be interacting or causing some of those upsides/downsides. Use that critical thinking to make an educated choice about the lube you’d like to try next.
Let’s use my own journey as an example here.
We’ve been using the same water-based lube for years now for (penis) jerk-off edging sessions. But we’re noticing that it makes his hands wrinkly after using it for awhile – and I’ll admit that wrinkly hands aren’t my favorite visual.
Using the information available, I can probably assume that the osmolarity of that lube is pretty high – and that might be causing some of the wrinkling we’re finding.
With that info in mind, I can attempt to figure out what ingredient may be causing the osmolarity to be so high – and avoid it in a future purchase of a different lube. Or I can see if I can simply find a lube marketed as “low osmolarity”.
Then, I get to experiment with the new lube and see if it causes the same effect, reduces the effect, or if it has different effects I’m not as fond of.
Then we can restart the whole system all over again.
It’s kinda this never-ending journey – and I’m not sure that’s a bad thing. As manufacturers find different ways to put the puzzle pieces together in new lube formulations, we’ll continue to see ingredient lists change – and what might be the lube you’ve found as your “best” could possibly be usurped by a new challenger.
Consider Where Your Play Will Go
Not all lubes are compatible with all types of play. For example, silicone-based lubes might wreck havoc if you plan on inserting a silicone dildo. If you end up wanting to use some sort of safer sex barriers for future pleasure, your oil-based lube can break down the condoms or dental dams once you move onto a new activity – making them less effective.
But taking a full, soapy shower as an interlude before getting to move on to different types of play can be scene-breaking. (Doable, but annoying)
That’s why I recommend trying to plan ahead for your type of play when selecting a lube for gooning. If you’re kinda-maybe-sorta thinking about using a dildo later, select a lube that’ll make that an easy transition. If you’re kinda-maybe-sorta hoping you edge long enough that your partner will come home and choose to join in the fun, pick a lube that makes it easier for them to join.
That means, when in doubt, go with a water-based lube. Even if it’s the shortest-lasting type of lube on the market, it’s the workhorse and easily works with all sex toy types, all safer sex barriers, and all types of penetration.
If your “plans” don’t end up going anywhere, you can always add in the specialized lubes (silicone-based and oil-based options) to extend your pleasure as you reach the end of your play session.
Have Different Lubes
As you could have guessed from the above example, that might mean keeping different lubricants around for different sex acts.
You might have a lube you keep around that’s great for fisting – and that lube might be different than the lube you use for vaginal sex. Vaginal sex lube might be different than the lube you keep for penis stroking – or shining your latex.
We keep two different water-based lubes around at all times: one for the more-sensitive pH of my vagina and one that’s really plush and gel-like for his jerking off. We have some silicone-based lubes for latex wearing, and I’ve really been eyeing up the market to try to find a CBD lube at some point. When do find that, it’ll be for my masturbation only as he’s uncomfortable with CBD touching him.
It’s totally normal to keep multiple lubes around for different uses; just be careful not to overbuy. It’s tempting to stock up, but like food and make-up products, remember that edging lubes have “best by” dates as well.
