How to Be a Good Sub – Especially When You’re Single

I like to ask the question “What are you doing to better yourself as a submissive?” when I’m talking to potential submissives. It gives me an idea of what they consider “bettering themselves” on their path to how to be a good sub, and it quickly exposes whether they’re just looking for casual sex.

The most common – and most frustrating answer I get?

Versions of: “I don’t have a domme, so there’s nothing I can do.”.

This is INFURIATING. Do you know how little that would fly in vanilla dating?

“I’m waiting to learn how to do my own laundry until I find a woman who’s annoyed by the fact that I can’t.”

“I’m waiting to learn to cook my own meals until I find a woman who expects me to try to make dinner – then I’ll get frustrated at her for ‘expecting too much from me'”.

“I’m waiting to learn any particular skills or hobbies because I don’t think it’s worth having anything worthwhile in my life until I have a pussy to bang.”

It’s ridiculous. None of that even makes sense.

“But yeah, Mistress Kay, I want a FEMDOM relationship! That’s totally different. She’ll be in charge, and I don’t know what she’ll want until I find “her”.”

Let’s use the 1950’s US household for an example. You can look around for classic examples (that we mostly made fun of 70 years later) of how parents raised their daughters to understand all of the basics of pleasing a man, household-wise, in order to help her find a husband.

Even back then, when women were treated more like objects to be passed on from man to man, all of the work in “training” a woman was front-loaded. She was expected to know all of the magical things that would attract a husband. She was expected to know all of the things about caring for a home. She was expected to understand how to take care of children. She was expected to take “care of” herself to best be visually appealing to a husband. (There’s a whole host of problems with expecting this out of an entire gender of an entire society, but that’s a whole ‘nother problem).

What makes you think your method of “Do nothing to improve myself until I have a partner” is better?

Do you know what femdoms enjoy? Being in charge of someone. Do you know what tends to make a better example of how fun you’d be to boss around? If you have skills we can use – AND have previously put in effort to better yourself with no “sexy woman” demanding you to.

You can’t go ten posts in a femdom space without seeing women complain about timewasters and malesubs who refuse to commit, disappear out of thin air, and just expect “fetish dispensers”.

Know the easiest way to stand out? Make sure your actions match your words.

If you claim to be a submissive who wants to please, where’s the evidence backing that up? What time have you put into bettering yourself as a submissive? What time have you put into being a submissive who CAN please? What time have you put into yourself – in general? If you don’t think you’re worth your own damn time to improve yourself, why do you think a femdom should want to own you? YOU don’t even think you’re worth the time.

“I’m ready to please you!” isn’t evidence. That’s sexual bullshit, and every femdom alive knows it.

So, enough of my rant. Let’s get to actual, actionable steps that you, as a submissive, can take to improve yourself with my list of ways submissives can improve themselves without a Dom. Not only does each one of these tips make you a better, more well-rounded person, but each step is actually pretty functional for your everyday life, too. You improve yourself with each one you do – which, in turn, makes you a better, fully-functioning human for a future domme.

Funny how that works.

Learn How to Cook

This is definitely the “pot calling the kettle black” here – because I can’t cook to save my life. BUT I can make a few dishes. I have a repertoire of like 10 different meals I can do – and I can do well – that I just rotate in-and-out when I need to feed myself. You should too.

Even if your future domme has their own food preferences, knowing how to make a few basic meals gives you a leg up. You’ll be less likely to make her sick with cross-contamination, and you’ll know how to best purchase and chop the food that goes into her meals.

Learning how to cook for a Domme includes things like:

• Know how to make a few delicious (but probably not particularly healthy) special-occasion meals
• Know how to make some good-tasting, healthier meals
• Know how to cook a few meals that are very veggie-heavy
• Know about basic food prep safety including cross-contamination – especially with meat
• Understand how to tell when fresh food is bad/good/unsafe
• Understand how to handle a knife for chopping food
• Understand the differences between pots and pans – and know what one will be used for various needs
• If applicable, learn how to trim and properly cook meat – and know proper, safe temperatures

If I can have picked all of that up, and I’m a TERRIBLE cook, it’s a pretty basic place to start.

(Full confession: I’m not a huge meat eater, so I actually don’t know how to properly trim meat. Either a meat-loving partner will cook meat for me, or I’ll get the frozen variety. But see? Having a partner who had that knowledge is a clear reason for learning how to be a good sub.)

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Learn How to Prepare Coffee

Guess what? A good chunk of the world loooooves coffee. It’s very likely that your future domme will too, and even if she doesn’t, some her friends will enjoy coffee. You can quickly impress a bunch of people by understanding coffee basics and homebrewing an amazing, great-tasting coffee. You’ll earn gold stars because you took time out to practice how to be a good sub.

If you want to learn bonus points, start to understand some of the finer intricacies of coffee. When you both go to cafes, you can recommend coffees, lattes, or fancy coffees you think that she would enjoy.

Learning how to prepare coffee for a Domme can include:

• Know the difference between the different roasts of coffee
• Know the difference between the different styles of coffee drinks (lattes, cappachinos)
• Learn how to brew coffee with the apparatus you have
• If you don’t have an apparatus, consider switching to a French Press (cheap) at home to learn how to make coffee. A lot of coffee snobs choose French Press coffee over machine-automated options because it offers greated control. And it’s cheap AF.
• Understand how to properly serve coffee at the correct temperature
• Learn how to correctly modified black coffee with sugar or cream – and how to stir it
• Learn how much caffeine is in every cup of coffee – and some of the symptoms of too much caffeine
• Bonus points if you want to learn a cute latte art design

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Know Yourself

It sounds particularly basic, but learning more about yourself is really step 1 in any dating situation – including finding a femdom or how to be a good sub. I am constantly astounded by how many people have put “finding a person to have sex with” before “Am I actually a person that someone would want to have sex with or date?”

If you don’t know what you need, you’re essentially coming half-cocked to a negotiation table – and unfairly expecting your dominant to read your mind or spend all of their time learning basic information you should know about yourself. Learning how to be a good sub really starts with knowing yourself. (Cheesy-alert). It’s vague sounding, but it’s true.

Learning how to know your submissive needs includes:

• What is your love language? What does that mean for you?
• What do you NEED in a relationship? What do you WANT in a relationship?
• What are you able to provide – and what aren’t you able to provide?
• What are your hard limits in a relationship? Kids? Apperance? Distance? The way they treat wait staff?
• When you get upset with each other or fight, what do YOU need in order to come back to the table to openly discuss what happened?
• Work on your open communication skills. (Tongue Tied is a fantastic book you should pick up ASAP.)
• Where do you want your future with a dom to end up? Marriage? Months of Play? One Night of Fun? Someone important to you – but not your forever romance partner?
• What are your biggest flaws? For real. And what have you done in order to reduce their impact on others?

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Take Care of Your Body

This isn’t about weight, appearance, or size. I’m fat. I’m not going to go on “you can’t be a sub if you’re fat” bullshit. (Which is bullshit, by the way.)

Taking care of yourself is a vital step in how to be a great submissive though – and something you need to work on when learning how to be a good sub.

Not only does it mean your dominant is take advantage of your health for their own needs, but it also means that you’ll be able to better perform when your femdom asks you to do various tasks. If you happen to get matched up with a dominant who enjoys outdoor and physically demanding activities, this also can ensure you can keep up.

For example, some general weight lifting can mean that you can move objects (like packing her luggage into the car!) as a service. Some general cardio means you’ll be able to better keep up during sex or any other physical activities your Domme demands of you.

Taking Care of your Body for your future Domme includes:

• Doing regular weight-lifting. You don’t even need a gym for this. Your body is heavy. Use your body weight if lifting weights isn’t a thing for you. Being able to lift everyday objects is going to be helpful for your service.
• Doing regular cardio – whatever “cardio” means for your body. Not only is this good for your cardiovascular system, but it also means you can have sex for longer and more intense durations.
• Eat nutritionally-there meals. At least sometimes. Nobody wants to eat a salad all day, but you can’t subsist on chips all day either. Make sure your food has some of the nutrients your body needs – in whatever form that takes.
• Hit up the doctor when something’s wrong – and actually follow their advice. Figure out if it was preventable or not, and next time, consider taking steps to prevent whatever happened. I know some people are distrustful of doctors, but there are various ailments you just can’t treat yourself.
• Take care of your mental and physical being. Don’t swallow Tide Pods for viral challenges. Don’t climb wobbly stacks of crates for views. Don’t neglect your mental health either – or assume it’s someone else’s responsibility.

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Learn about Your Kinks

Yeah, you know how to jerk off and get off to your kinks, but how much do you REALLY know about them? What’s the sign that you’re doing you’re kink incorrectly? What are the things about your kink that could be dangerous and hurt you? If you want someone else to enjoy your kinks with you, you NEED to know that. Even the most seemingly basic kinks (like bondage) actually come with a good chunk of safety concerns.

Not only does this mean that you can pull your fair share in a kink relationship when your Domme doesn’t have experience in your kink, but this also makes you a harder target for abuse. When you spent your time trying to learn how to be a good sub like this, you’llknow what’s right – and what’s wrong – and it’s easier to know when things don’t fit in.

On the same note, it also makes it easier for you to advocate for yourself. Even the most well-intentioned Dommes (myself included!) do things wrong. The likelihood that I’ve read every single safety note about every single thing I want to do, kink-wise, is pretty slim. You should be in a position to advocate for yourself and say “Hey, I think that might cause me harm we weren’t expecting if we do that.”

Learning about your kinks for a Domme includes:

• Explore what your kinks actually are. A lot of people already have an idea of what their kinks are, but if you’re still in the exploration stage, interacting online with in sex chat rooms or paying someone on a live sex cam can help you figure out what appeals to you.
• Listing out all of your kinks
• Start with online research about those kinks from reputable online resources (I have BDSM advice and femdom advice right here)
• Brainstorm similar, vanilla activities that are like those kinks (MMA fighting for impact play, Rockclimbing for rope bondage, etc.) then start searching about those activities and learning the safety info
• Look into purchasing books about those kinks. If your kinks are common (like bondage), you can easily find books. If they’re less-common (like looning), that might not be doable.
• Read those books. SERIOUSLY. Buying them isn’t enough. READ THEM.
• Look into attending classes about your kinks. The pandemic has put a lot of sexual education online now. See if you can find a class about your kink to virtually attend.
• Better yet, attend in-person classes about them.
• Attend kink events and kink conventions if you can. Seeing people safely (and without the commercial gaze of porn) perform your kinks can be HUGE in understanding what’s normal and what’s safe practice for your kinks.

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Prep for your Ability to DO Your Kinks

What skillset do your kink entails? What can you do to prep your body and mind to ensure that your future Domme had the easiest time possible performing those kinks on you? This all becomes part of your practice on how to be a good sub.

Fantasizing about your kinks is not the same as being able to comfortably perform them. You should not expect your future Domme to take on all of the mental and time load associated with your kink. You’re not “saving” anything special for her besides making her do extra work. I promise, doing the kink with another person for the first time will already be special enough. You don’t need to tack-on all of the prep work.

Prepping for your kinks can include things like:

• Knowing what your body needs to be able to do in order to perform your kink
• Practicing the things that your body needs to be able to do in order to perform your kink
• Thinking about what could go wrong in various kink situations – and how you’ll handle it
• Practice being able to tap-out even when you know there’s pressure on you to continue

Some examples would be things like:

• Pegging: Are you able to fit at-least small-sized dildos into your ass comfortably with minimal warm-up? If not, you should be working on gently stretching your body with anal training kits. You definitely should have already done anal play many, many times solo – long before you ever get with a Domme to try pegging in different pegging sex positions.
• Bondage: Flexibility and muscle strength can be huge with body! Flexibility helps you get into positions and avoid injury, and muscle strength helps support your muscles in hard positions. You especially need core strength. This can look like regular yoga and weight lifting sessions.
• Wrestling: Kinky wrestling is exhausting; it’s cardio all in itself! How does your cardio regiment look? Are you regularly doing high-intensity training to practice how to be a good sub in the future? Because that’s what wrestling is going to be.
• Chauffeur Service: Do you keep up with your vehicle? Are you a safe driver? Are there aspects of your driving that you can improve on?
• Feminization: Are you able to wear heels? Most people think you just strap them on and go. There’s actually a lot of leg stabilization and strength required to wear them without danger of serious injury. Are you taking care of your skin? Do you know what sensitivities your skin has to make make-up applications easier? Do you have any men’s lingerie options for your future Domme to choose from – or do you at least know where you can get some?
• Chastity: Have you used a chastity cage? Have you done any sort of 24/7 chastity training program if that’s something you’re into? How does your body respond to chastity cages? What special needs do you have in order to ensure you comfortably can wear the cage? Do you have a perfect-fitting cage? This is all stuff that should be worked out long before you hand a key over to anyone.

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Learn How to Pleasure Other Bodies

If sexual play isn’t included in your kink repertoire, you can ignore this, but for almost all cisgender male submissives I’ve played with, there’s a lot of fantasies that involve sex and sexual gratification. If that’s the case, what have you done to ensure that you’re good at actually pleasing another partner?

Drop your ego here for a second. I genuinely mean it: what have you done to ensure that you’re good at pleasing another person? Can you name all of the parts of their anatomy? Can you tell me how to touch those parts to make the sensations feel good? Can you tell me what alternative ways you can pleasure those parts if the “first attempt” doesn’t go well? What educational opportunities have you taken to increase your sexual skill while trying to learn how to be a good sub?

If you’re a cisgender male with sexual experience, the likelihood that your previous partners have faked orgasms with you – or lied about your sexual skill – is high. (A study in 2011 showed that over half of women admitted to faking orgasms in their heterosexual pairings – while only 1 in 5 men thought that their partners had faked it before. The odds are just not in your favor.)

Why women fake orgasm is a whole entire article to itself. In most cases, the pressure to “orgasm” to placate their male partner is huge – telling their partner that everything he’s doing has very little chance of actually pleasuring her can damage his ego – and lead to a fight that most women don’t want to deal with. (In casual hook-ups, telling this to the wrong man can also lead to actual violence.) So, you fake it, he’s satisfied, the unsatisfying sex is over, and you can go about your life.

That aside, what time and effort have you put into learning how to make your potential partners orgasm – regardless of what genitals they have?

Learning how to pleasure a Domme can include:

• Read books on how to pleasure that person’s anatomy. There are lots of books on how to hit the g-spot, how to pleasure the clitoris, how to please a penis, how to give good oral sex – all of it. There are SO MANY BOOKS. (I prefer books over online articles, in this case, because a lot of femdom spaces are innudated with masturbation-fantasy material – and not very accurate material at that.)
• If books aren’t in the financial cards, get your sex education from reputable online websites.
• Subscribe to a sexual education site filled with information and videos from sex experts.
• Stop watching so much mainstream porn. Once you have the knowledge to pick out what things are faked – and why – and can identify male gaze issues and why those might be problematic, you’re probably good to enjoy more mainstream porn, but until then, the fake nature of most porn is teaching you a bunch of lessons that are just straight-up wrong. Switch to feminist porn for awhile.
• Assume your penis is a minor piece of the puzzle for getting your partner to orgasm. Not only is this the case for a lot of femdom kinks, but it also forces you to learn other ways to pleasure your partner. Since clitoral stimulation is the basis for the vast majority of vulva owners to reach orgasm, you can get a whole lot out of learning how to provide clitoral stimulation in its many forms. If your penis gets to be involved later, yay! If not, you’ll have the skills necessary to still please your partner.

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How to be a Good Sub: Learn How to Drive

Presumably, if you’re in a lot of the world, you probably are capable of physically moving a car within the legal confines of your country – but if you can drive, can you do it well?

Learning how to be a good sub can be as simple as driving your dominant somewhere. This allows them to lay back and do what they want with their time while you easily provide a service. Honestly, even for the busiest of couples, driving service in BDSM is still something they can easily fit in. Most of us have to drive somewhere for something.

Learning how to drive for a dom includes:

• Practice skills to moderate your rage or anger while driving. Practice them a lot.
• What is defensive driving? Literally look it up. Determine if you drive defensively, and if not, start putting practices in place to practice it.
• Learn how to take turns slowly and predictably, and learn how to stop slowly. Pretend you’re driving with an easy-to-topple cake in the passenger’s seat. That’s the comfortable treatment most passengers enjoy.
• Know basic car maintenance. If that’s not possible for you (like in apartment living), know when the car was last maintained and keep up on its maintenance with a professional.
• At the very least, understand replacing wipers, headlights, taillights, and replacing fluids.
• Bonus points for being able to do an oil change.
• Bonus points for understanding symptoms of common issues – and having the humility to take it in ASAP when you recognize them. Driving your dom around in an unsafe car is a nope.

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Learn How to Clean Your Home

I am constantly astounded by how many people don’t know the absolute basics of cleaning a home. Like, I know virtually nothing, and I still am astounded by how much less other people know. As part of your effort on how to be a good sub, I really recommend doing some learning about your home care.

If you’re hoping to attract a date or a femdom, knowing the basics of a clean home really just starts you off on a good foot. Not only does this give you an easy service you can offer a femdom when you’re trying to be a good sub, but a clean house also looks good when you bring her over for dates.

Learning how to clean a femdom home includes:

• Learn patience when cleaning down surfaces to ensure they’re done correctly. Don’t half-ass things around corners, and know how to reach into small crevices.
• Know basic cleanliness for food prep areas. What needs to be cleaned, how regularly, and with what cleansers in order to be safe for food?
• Learn how to clean down sinks – especially stainless steel ones (very common) to leave them sparkling.
• Learn how to clean a shower and do it right.
• Learn how to mop a floor – including the prepwork that goes into it like sweeping and removing debris.
• Know how to do a deep clean of a refridgerator and freezer
• Know how to clean mirrors, windows, and mirror-like surfaces without leaving streaks
• Understand how to clean an oven and microwave
• Know how to remove grout from tiled floors – or scuffs from tiled floors
• Know (or at least know where to find) a guide for how often you should clean various surfaces

Luckily for us, virtually everyone can always use pointers on these things, and there are fantastic resources out there for getting this right.

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Learn How to Do the Laundry

Everybody wears clothes. Everybody wants those clothes to be clean. Nobody wants to spend a ton of money replacing clothing – or losing their favorite clothes before it’s necessary. Therefore, knowing how to properly do laundry is huge – and can be a fantastic service you can provide to your Domme, too.

If you haven’t been around a lot of feminine clothing before, you might have zero idea how to clean most feminine items. Did you know a lot of that frilly lingerie you like seeing is actually hand-wash only?

How to be a good sub can include learning about laundry – to be able to share in the work required for your future femdom to dress to the nines:

Learning how to do your femdom’s laundry:

• Practice hand-washing laundry – especially bras and panties (if you don’t have access to any, try it on your own underwear and focus a lot of time on the crotch area)
• Know what the various signs on the tags mean
• What’s the difference between the cold temperature cycles and hot temperature cycles on the washing machine?
• What’s the difference between the different drying modes on the dryer?
• How does drying the clothing in hot or mild air change how the clothing behaves?
• Understand the importance of sorting clothing colors – especially when clothing is new – and understand how clothing dye can affect other items in the batch
• Know how to clean blood or dirt off of clothing. If you’ve never been with someone who has a period, this may be a big change for you – but probably a common occurance once you’re together.
• Learn how to clean semen stains out of clothing.
• Understand how to hang or store clothing of various types to reduce any wrinkles.
• Know the different types of clothing hangers and which items go to which hangers – and why.
• Bonus: Do you have a particular fetish for a rare fabric? (Rubber, latex, satin, etc.) Learn the specifics of care for that fabric.

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Learn the Basics of Fixing Household Things

I’m not going to pretend I’m great at this. I’m absolutely horrible at fixing household objects. I don’t think I have a handy bone in my body, honestly. But, that’s part of why it’d be amazing to find a sub who was practiced in these things. Having someone who could help me understand the basics of these things – or deal with them instead of me having to YouTube how-to videos when they come up – would be drastically helpful.

How to Be a Good Sub for a Domme could include:

• Know how to find the studs in a wall and how to safely hang pictures and lightweight objects
• Know how to do basic toilet maintenance – like if the tank won’t stop running
• Learn how to hang heavier-duty objects – like weight-bearing objects. I’m sure you can see how that might be useful – aside from hanging the wall-mounted TV.
• Know how to perform Air Conditioner, Water Softener, or Heater Maintenance – like cleaning out filters, refilling softener pellets, etc.
• Know how to start a fire. Not only is this a good emergency skill, but it’s also good for cute, romantic campfires too.

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Learn the Basics of Beer/Wine

If you’re going to be around femdommes, the likelihood that understanding wine will be important isn’t small. That being said, not all femdommes enjoy wine – or enjoy beer – so having a good background in both is a good way to prep for how to be a good sub in the future.

Plus, beer and wine tend to be common additions to most social gatherings. It’ll give you a leg up even in your everyday life.

Learning beer and wine for a Domme can include:

• Understand the differences in types of beer (lagers, stouts, IPAs being the big boys)
• Understand  the differences in yypes of wine (red, white, sangria, etc.)
• Learn what the basic wine crafting words mean – and how they effect taste (tannins, etc.)
• Learn what the basic beer crafting words mean – and how they effect taste (IBU, ABV, hops, malts)
• Ensure you know how to pour beer and wine properly into glasses
• Learn the basics of beer service and wine service to elevate your “customer experience”
• Bonus points if you learn the various glassware styles designed for each style of beer or wine

(Can you tell I don’t drink wine?)  

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Learn how to Prepare Good Cocktails

If you’re a teetoler, this may not be for you, but you’ll want to negotiate that in your dynamic before you even start. For most people, though, alcohol and cocktails are a semi-frequent part of their lives. You may not find cocktails at the kink parties the two of you attend, but it’s very likely that cocktails will appear at work parties – or social events – if you both attend those. So knowing how to prep some delicious cocktails can really help you with how to be a good sub.

Not only does the ability to make a good cocktail make you stand out to a Domme, but it also can make you the hit of a party and popular with your friends too. As a bonus, if you’re a socially awkward wallflower like I am, having the “excuse’ of tending the party bar gives you a great way to meet people while actually having something to focus on and talk about.

Learning how to prepare cocktails for a Domme can include:

• Learning basic cocktail recipes that only require a few COMMON household supplies (Fancy is nice, but if no one ever has your specialized alcohol, it’s not particularly useful.)
• Learn even more basic cocktails that just include the basics – like Cranberry Vodkas
• Learn blended, fruity cocktails that require a blender to craft
• Learn how to use a cocktail shaker and how to properly strain a drink
• Learn the flavor profiles of different drinks, so you can easily recommend drinks to people who are unsure of what they’d like
• Learn how to prep garnishes – especially simple and common ones
• Get a drink recipe book and get familiar with it – so when you don’t know a drink, you can still make it.
• Learn the telltale signs of “too far” drunkenness – and practice being comfortable cutting people off. If you’re not that type of confrontation, whenever you’re making drinks, make sure you know who you can turn to to ask for help. “Hey, I gotta grab an ingredient” makes a great excuse to leave and fetch your helper.
• Learn how to care for someone who is blackout drunk.
• Learn the signs of alcohol poisoning – and know where your nearest hospitals are – just in case.
• Bonus points if you want to learn some bartender tricks, but honestly, those aren’t necessarily a great use of your time.

(Very big caution: Alcohol is still a drug and still very dangerous. Treat it all with the respect that it deserves. You are NOT responsible for anyone else’s drinking or inebriation – but if you’re around alcohol often [which you will be if you’re great at making cocktails], having the basic knowledge to know what to do when things go poorly can really make you a serious help in those situations.)

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Bonus Ways to Learn How to Be a Good Sub

You’ve made it through all of the “basic” ways, but this last section is more of a bonus full of odds-and-ends on how to be a good sub. There’s a lot of stuff we encounter in our everyday lives that isn’t necessarily “important” enough to get its own category – but is still noticeable enough that it could improve the day of your dominant.

Some of these things include:

• Knowing how to make a bed correctly. A hotel-style made bed is such a welcoming sight at the end of a day.
• Learn how to clean most shoes. If you like seeing your domme in hot heels, make sure those heels stay as gorgeous as possible.
• Learn basic tech for the devices you own. If the internet isn’t working, can you power cycle? Do you know how to check internet speeds?
• Know basic emergency info. Where’s the nearest hospital? What are the signs of a stroke? What are the signs of a life-threatening allergic reaction? What do you do if someone has a stroke? Knowing all of these things – and being prepared to act – can (literally) save your Domme’s life – or the lives of your friends and family.
• What’s the difference between different pain killers? What ones should/shouldn’t be taken with alcohol and which ones can have various adverse affects on different parts of the body?
• Learn how to paint fingernails or toenails. Nail polish is cheap, and you can get fake nails for pennies online. (Or paint your own!) This is a common recommendation for those looking how to be a good sub.
• Learn how to give good massages – especially on the feet or shoulders which tend to be pressure points for a lot of humans.
• Learn survival or camping skills. Not only does this make you a serious help in a crisis (like if the power goes out), but it also means you’re a perfect camping partner. It seems unrelated to how to be a good sub, but it can really be helpful in an emergency – and just plain helpful.

Updated: October 2023, July 2022