How to Explore Kinky Chauffeur Service

Turns out, a lot of us spend a lot of time in cars. I don’t know about you, but when I total up the hours I’ve spent in the car at the end of the month, it can easily be over the 40-hour mark. That’s an entire workweek – just sitting in a car! Literally just sitting there! Some of those hours I’m definitely stressed or thinking about something else, but for a lot of those hours, it’s just boring, everyday driving – no excitement to tell of. (Which is unfair, let me tell you. I want kinky chauffeur service every day.)

Not to mention, a car is that pseudo-weird place that’s sorta-private while still being sorta-public. This middle ground makes it a pretty common choice for exploring the idea of “public sex” – while not “entirely” in “public”. Public sex in a car is pretty common, and a lot of people like to get away with a whole host of kink activities inside their own vehicle.

With all of that in mind, adding kinky chauffeur service to your power exchange, femdom, and/or maledom relationship can be a fun way to add fun to downtime you had never considered “kinkifying” before.

Biggest caveat: making sure your femdom chauffeur service doesn’t end up being unsafe. So that brings us to…

Kinky Chauffeur Safety Considerations

Most importantly: remember that driving is about DRIVING. While adding D/s and power exchange to driving can make the entire experience more fun for both of you, nothing should take away from the act of physically driving. If it’s designed to be distracting or flustering, you should probably wait until the car is, at the very least, stopped at a stoplight.

(If you’re really into the idea of “disturbing” your chauffeur who is actively “driving” for your own entertainment, I recommend using a food “drive-thru” as your haunt. Not only is it normal to throw the car into park at a drive-thru, but the car won’t really be moving all that much while you do whatever it is that you do.)

On another note, driving isn’t the only safety thing to consider when setting up play scenarios within a car. You also want to consider what will happen if – god forbid – an accident happens or something happens to break down the vehicle. You do NOT want your partner in difficult-to-escape rope bondage, and you do not want your partner trussed up in lewd lingerie in case the police pull you over.

Anything you plan should not interfere with the vehicle’s safety design (like seatbelts) and should be very easy to escape in case of a problem, accident, or being pulled over. This means very easy to escape in a variety of positions – remember that the car could tip over or get crushed; you’ve seen all of the action movies by now.

If using any sort of bondage, it had better be the most easily escapable form of bondage you’ve ever used (like velcro-fastening cuffs the person can remove themselves). Ensure the person is in their upright, normal sitting position, and nothing you do interferes with the seat belt’s function.

If going a kinky or sexual route, remember that anything you may do might not be legal in your area. Ensure this is a conscious choice you’re making – and especially make sure to include this as part of your negotiation if you’re playing with new sex contacts you don’t usually play with.

Finally, remember that complete strangers didn’t consent to your play. While it might sound hot to have your partner naked to shock other drivers on the freeway, those other drivers didn’t consent to your scene – and your surprise might cause them to get into an accident. No bueno.

Take as many precautions as possible to ensure what you’re doing is safe, focused on driving, and unlikely to be noticed by anyone else – law enforcement or not.

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What IS a Kinky Chauffeur?

In vanilla circumstances, a chauffeur is someone who is hired (or tasked) to drive a car – so someone else in the vehicle doesn’t have to.

For kinky chauffeur service, the idea is essentially the same: only we’re adding in elements of power exchange, taking out (in most cases!) the “career” aspect, and the arrangement might be a temporary one – or one done out of service to their partner.

Think of kinky chauffeur service a bit like being the Designated Driver when someone is drinking – only with a lot more focus on the service aspects. (Or maybe you’re the coolest designated driver on the planet who always stocks their car with your friend’s favorite drinks and snacks for the ride home.)

Kinky chauffeur service can be as kinky and sexual as you make it – or none of those things. It can feel transactional – or intimate. It can be done with casual partners (anyone you trust to drive, really!) and it can be done with long-term partners. Switches might find it fun to swap the responsibility back and forth.

So, essentially, like most things in kink, kinky chauffeur service is exactly what you make of it. As long as the person receiving your kinky chauffeur service is pleased and you both are having a great time, it’s perfect as-is.

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How to Prepare for Kinky Chauffeur Service

As most recipients of this service simply need to enjoy an awesome car ride, the majority of this “How to Explore Kinky Chauffeur Service” article is focused on the provider of the service.

And if you’re providing this service, it takes a little bit of forethought and prepwork to ensure it moves smoothly – and feels “different” than an everyday drive.

Before you invite your partner into your vehicle for service, start with:

Cleaning Out Your Car: Yeah, I know it sucks, but it’s step one. You’re going to have a lot harder time fostering the special, erotic feeling you’re going for during your BDSM chauffeur service if there are fast food wrappers everywhere. At least clean up all of the garbage. If you have time, clean the surfaces of the car and take it to the car wash – and vacuum all of the internal areas. If your dominant partner is used to a messier version of your car, just that simple act is going to really, really add to the femdom chauffeur experience. It’ll feel like a “whole new car” – just like that.

(And when is the last time you had such an erotic reason to clean something?!)

Check-In with your Partner: I know, we did the car cleaning first. But that’s because anyone’s car could really use a cleaning, so ha – tricked you there. But next, you should really talk to your partner about the idea of receiving chauffeur service. Not everyone is comfortable (or enjoys) someone else driving them around. Some of my friends get carsick in the backseat, so attempting to “put” them there might be more negative than positive. As this is an experience designed to please them, check-in with your partner and see if BDSM car driving service is for them.

While you’re there, ask them leading questions to better target your kinky driving service like:

• Do you prefer to sit in the front seat or the back seat?
• How could a rideshare (insert your brand name in there) ride be the best ride you’ve ever taken?
• What refreshments do you like during car trips?
• What electronic devices do you normally keep on you during car trips?
• What is your ideal car temperature? Does it change with the season?
• What’s your favorite music to listen to while in a car?
• What’s your favorite scent when you get into a car?
• Do you require a seatbelt extender or any other comfort/accessibility items when riding in vehicles that aren’t your own?
• If you’re driving someone who may have children with them, ensure you know what’s necessary to keep them safe in the vehicle.

There you go. You just got a whole bunch of awesome information right there. Take it – and USE IT.

Get a “Go-Bag” Ready: Most of us don’t do rideshare drives for a living (but if you do, you are so ahead of the curve here for all of this!). That means our cars aren’t constantly stocked with the items a chauffeur customer would want. (I’ve seen some rideshare vehicles equipped with mini-fridges for complimentary drinks!) This means you’ll want to have a bag ready with all of the items to outfit your car when it’s time for your femdom kinky driving service.

Items such as:

• Any comfort/accessibility items your partner needs (butt/back cushions, seatbelt padding, seatbelt extenders, etc.)
• Music/songs preloaded onto a device that your car can play them from. If using the internet (like a streaming service), ensure that the internet will be comfortably available wherever you’re driving. I know there are some deadzones near where I live where the music would be interrupted.
• Any shelf-stable snacks you’re bringing and any room-temperature drinks you’re bringing
• Any “scent” or air freshener you plan to put into the car (ensure you recipient does not have a sensitivity to strong scents before you try this)
• Any portable electronics charger that you’ll be providing for your partner

You can easily pick this bag up, toss any refrigerated items in, and be ready to go when it’s time to perform your chauffeur service for a dom.

Pick an Unrushed Time: To debut your chauffeur skills, I recommend picking a time where the two of you are not particularly rushed. You can definitely enjoy kinky driving scenes at times where time is a bit short, but you really want to “wow” them this first time – so choose a time where you both have all the time in the world.

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Best Kinky Chauffeur Practices: Starting the Journey

Okay, we’ve made it! It’s time to debut your kinky driver plans!

Remember during this entire process: your kinky chauffeur service is as special as you make it. You’ve likely driven friends around before, and it was entirely casual. To make your BDSM chauffeur service feel like a service, it’s all about the rituals, protocols, and your partner’s preferences. If you want the service to feel like a departure from your everyday driving habits, make sure to present yourself with a service-first mentality at every opportunity.

So, let’s jump in:

When starting to discuss your plans for the day with your partner, I would start with something as simple as “Ma’am/Sir, I would like to treat you to a chauffeur service when we go to ____________ (destination) today.” Let them know this ahead of time – earlier in the day – so they can begin to mentally prepare for it. It also provides time for them to politely turn down the service if there are external problems you don’t know about.

When the time comes to actively employ your newfound kinky chauffeur skills, here’s the step-by-step I recommend:

When it’s time to leave your home and go, I recommend asking your partner, “Would you like me to pull the car around?“ When they (presumably!) say yes, verbally confirm that you’re doing it – and confirm where you’ll be at with something like “Yes, ma’am/sir. The car will be waiting at ____ (location) at _______ (time). Would you like a text/call when your car has arrived?” While you’re at it, if your partner prefers any chilled beverages, steal them out of the fridge and take them to your vehicle.

Once you arrive, solo, at your car, get everything situated for your debut. That includes:

• First, turn on the vehicle and get it started cooling/warming to your partner’s ideal temperature.
• Slide their choice of tunes into the stereo system.
• Ensure any portable chargers/drinks/entertainment items are easily accessible but out-of-the-way.
• Ensure any accessibility/comfort items are where they need to be.
• Pick up any last-minute garbage or mess that may have accumulated between your cleaning and right now.
• If they’re sitting in the backseat, pull the passenger’s chair as far up as possible without causing a driving hazard for you. If they’re sitting in the front seat, push the passenger’s chair as far back as possible. All about the leg room.
• Prepare any scent you had in mind. Be very careful with this, and I highly recommend a few test runs before go-time. Scents can easily get overwhelming in small spaces; this especially includes brand-new air fresheners.

Once everything is ready, get into the car and bring the car to the place you’re picking up your partner. If they requested a call or text, go ahead and send that now. I recommend something as professionally formal as possible – within the bounds of your dynamic. “Your driver is ready for you, my Queen” is my personal wet dream, but it’s really up to you and your dynamic.

If in a safe space (I’m thinking you’re doing this at home in a residential neighborhood – not a downtown apartment on a busy street), toss on your hazard lights (if necessary) and get out of the car. Ensure you do not lock yourself out of your car. Stand next to the door where your partner will be getting into the car. If you want to adopt a “butler-esque” stature that feels comfortable for you, it’s certainly a hot visual when your partner eventually sees it. I can definitely attest to that one!

When your partner is within visual range, fully open the door. If your partner is carrying any large items that are clearly not personal items (shopping bags versus a messenger bag or purse), ask them “May I take those for you?” – and wait for them to hand over the items they wish to have stored.

If the item is small enough to avoid getting in the way, stand holding the item until your partner is comfortably settled in the car – then gently close the car door behind them before placing the item in the trunk. If the item is large and heavy, after your partner has started getting into the vehicle, you may step away and load the item into the trunk before returning to close the door behind them.

(Fun chauffeur trick which is commonly used with celebrities who have paparazzi. If your partner is wearing a short dress/skirt that may may “expose” them while getting into the vehicle, the chauffeur may step close to the person to block anyone else’s view and protect their client’s privacy.)

Once the door is closed behind your partner, you can walk around the vehicle and get into the driver’s seat. A super casual “Where to?” gets the point across, but since we’re going for a luxurious service here, I recommend something like “Where will I be taking you today, Ma’am/Sir/Queen/Honorific?” After they respond with their destination (even if you already knew it!), clarify the destination (just in case!) with something like “That’s the business next to the highway, correct?” (or whatever-other landmarks would clarify things between the two of you).

If you’re both familiar with one another and the route to the destination, you can also consider something like “Ma’am/Sir/Honorific, I’m able to go to ____ (destination) via State Rd or a drive through downtown. Which option would you prefer?”

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Best Kinky Chauffeur Practices: During the Drive

Once they reply in the affirmative, depending on your time restraint, you can simply head out.

If you have a bit more time, I recommend a tour of the vehicle and its features. (After all, you worked hard on this!) Something as simple as “Ma’am, thank you for trusting me to take you safely to your destination. I’ll be playing your favorite music, and I’m happy to skip songs as requested. Beverages and morsels are available for your perusal at any time. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do at any point to improve your experience.”

If you have the ability to modify your driving to fit within your partner’s habits, try to do that as well. For example, I really hate pulling lots of G’s while driving. I would want my partner to take curves slower than he usually would. If she hates a certain part of town or has bad memories with it, feel free to take alternative routes. Things like that.

If you’re comfortable with the idea, you may also want to pay special attention to your driving habits – regardless of your partner. The end goal of kinky chauffeur service is to provide a smooth, luxurious ride for your passenger. This means braking very gently and taking curves smoothly. This means avoiding last-minute swerves when possible.

Pretend your partner is holding a very full glass of water. You want to drive so that their water never sloshes out of the cup.

As noted above in safety, though, your number 1 goal is safely driving. If that means going to the maniac speed of traffic to avoid being backended – or swerving to avoid an accident, that’s what you need to do.

As you drive, take your partner’s cue for discussion levels. If she strikes up a conversation, feel free to have a conversation. Depending on the “vibe” you’re going for, you may wish to answer with professional, distanced answers (instead of complaining about what’s going on at work) to keep the vibe feeling special and unique. You can always talk about the personal things later outside of your BDSM car service experience.

Otherwise, your partner may take advantage of your kinky chauffeur service – and she may be texting or otherwise occupied. Or listening to that great music you selected just for her!

Feel free to interject other service-related requests while driving such as “Ma’am, are you comfortable? Would you like it warmer or colder? Is the music an appropriate volume for you?” or things of that nature.

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Best Kinky Chauffeur Practices: Arriving at Your Destination

When you reach your destination, park within the drop-off zone if your location offers one. Throw on your car’s hazards and quickly exit the car to open the door for your partner. If you want to be discreet, you can make this as muted as you want – or you can do it with a flourish of the hand.

After they exit the vehicle, you can return the vehicle. Ensure they make it inside their destination safely (like the door isn’t oddly locked), then go ahead and drive the car to park (or your next locale to wait).

If there are any bags or luggage that need to be brought in aside from a purse, you may be expected to bring them in, depending on the circumstances. (If you’re dropping her off at a hotel for the night, you’d be expected to bring in her luggage for her. If you’re dropping her off to return an item inside a grocery bag to a local retailer, she may prefer to just grab that herself rather than wait for you to appear with the bag.)

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What Does a Kinky Chauffeur Do While Their Partner Is Out?

If you’re like a lot of dating couples, when you both arrive at the destination, your “client” will likely want you to come with them and enjoy the destination with them. In this case, feel free to drop them off at the door, park the car, swap into your “I’m a partner” mode, and walk in to join your partner.

However, it’s very possible that your client/partner doesn’t wish to have your company once you both reach the destination. In that case, you’re going to be a literal chauffeur here – and drop them off and let them be. If that’s the case, I recommend asking your “client” for their estimate of how long they’ll be at the destination. This lets you figure out what you want to do with your time. If they expect to be two hours, you pretty much have two hours of “fun solo time” on your hands to head out to a local store or coffeeshop or restaurant or whatever. If they expect it to be 15 minutes, you might consider parking nearby and just waiting for them to finish.

Essentially, since you’re not really getting “paid” to do this and it isn’t your job, I’d guess that you don’t want to waste multiple hours of your life trying to entertain yourself on your cell phone in a parking lot. Getting an estimated completion time lets you enjoy yourself as well – while also still being available for your partner when their experience is complete.

I recommend setting an alarm on your phone/watch/whatever for 15 minutes (plus travel time back to the pick-up spot!) before your partner’s estimated “finish” time. This is the time you should get into the car, drive to their locale, and ensure the vehicle is nearby the pick-up point. You’ll want to find a legal parking spot – and entertain yourself until your partner calls or texts that it’s time for the pick-up. The extra 15 minutes ensures you can promptly appear if they happen to finish a bit early.

If you know that your partner often estimates completion times badly, you might consider a check-in text about 30 minutes before the original completion time they gave you. This way, you avoid driving back into the pick-up spot and waiting if they happen to be enjoying themselves enough that they want to stay another hour.

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Picking Your Partner Up During BDSM Chauffeur Play

Of course, part of the fun of chauffeur service is getting to pick your partner back up again! Honestly, I’d consider this more fun than the start of the chauffeur kink service. After all, most chauffeur kink scenes start in or near the privacy of your own home. Most pick-ups will usually happen in public, and I’ll admit that I enjoy the occasional look when I’m being spoiled above-and-beyond the usual public expectations.

First off, you need to ensure that your chauffeur play pick-up is suitable for the area that it’s in. As much fun as it is, taking the time to do the chauffeur ritual in downtown traffic where you’re technically illegally parked isn’t a great idea. You might able to find a side-street where there’s more flexibility to provide the “service” of your partner getting back into the vehicle, but at that point, you’re starting to balance “how far does the person need to walk with how convenient you’re supposed to make their life”. At least with this femdom, the most convenience will win out. I can always roleplay the service aspects later.

If you’re somewhere like a grocery store or somewhere where the vehicle isn’t in the way of the flow of traffic or anyone getting where they need to be, you have a lot more flexibility in adding more ritualistic aspects to the kinky chauffeur service when you pick your partner back up.

Always keep other people in mind during your chauffeur life. If you’re blocking the main road, it’s not the time for the ritual of kinky chauffeur service. If you’re out-of-the-way and the most “harm” you’re doing is making people look at you oddly, then you’re good-to-good for some kinky chauffeur service.

To pick your partner up, simply reverse the steps from earlier:

• Flip on your hazards with the car in park and step to the door they’ll be getting into.
• Greet them with their honorific as you fully open the door for them.
• Take any packages/items you are handed. Take them to the trunk if they’re in the way, or hold them outside of the way if they’re small enough.
• When she’s comfortably seated inside, ensure her dress/coat isn’t caught in the door before gently shutting the door.
• Place all items into the trunk.
• Get back into the driver’s seat and ask your femdom where she’d like to go. “Ma’am, where do you desire to go next?” is a simple, and effective, way to ask.
• Rinse and repeat through all of the destinations you both have in mind – and feel free to flourish this and draw it out if it’s the last repetition of the evening!

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Other Kinky Car Play Ideas

Kinky chauffeur service can be a blast all on its own – but if you want to add even more spice to the experience, here are some additional ideas:

• Ride in the backseat. How often do you ride in the backseat when it’s just you and your partner? Riding in the backseat can have power exchange connotations depending on how you want to phrase it. It can either be a submissive partner who doesn’t “deserve to be in the front seat where the (insert your identification here) go”, or it can be a seat of honor for the Dominant who wants to enjoy their ride in peace while their submissive drives.
• Require a “chauffeur” uniform. This can be a fun way to reinforce the power dynamic. Especially if the submissive is into forced feminization, you can easily toss lingerie or other items underneath the submissive’s regular “vanilla-appropriate” clothing. Depending on how often you both explore kinky chauffeur service, there could even be a bra and panty set that’s specifically laid out every day the “chauffeur” is expected to be working.
• Require something at every stoplight. If you’re driving in a city, it can be a lot of fun to require the submissive partner do something at every stop light. It can be something as embarrassing and silly as singing a new nursery rhyme – or even having to reach over and touch the dominant’s knee.
• Hire a “chauffeur” instead. If whatever you want to do entails having sexy fun while a car is moving, consider making someone else do the driving! If you’re in a kink community, you might be able to find a local kinkster who’s into the idea of driving around a couple doing things in the backseat – or you might consider keeping things to flirtatious texts and very subtle touches with a ride share service. Alternatively, with a bit of extra cash, you can hire a limo or large-car service that separates you fully from the driver – and ascertain how much the driver can see or hear when the partition is fully closed. 

Updated: October 2023.