Today, let’s talk about the shitty part of relationships that nobody really likes to talk about: a D/s break-up.
Not only do you get the “fun” of dealing with the standard heartbreak and gut-wrenching pain of a “vanilla” heartbreak, but you also get the added fun of untangling power exchange set-ups. Depending on how intense your dynamic was and how involved the two of you were before your D/s break-up, this might simultaneously involve transferring ownership of your bank account back to you – or relearning all of the passwords
See, while a relationship ending sucks in any scenario, it’s particularly rough in a D/s break-up. Because power exchange relationships regularly involve more push and pull than “regular” relationships, either partner can be left floundering in unexpected ways after a D/s break-up.
Some examples of power exchange dependencies:
- The Bottom cooks all of the food for their food-sensitive Top.
- The Top manages all of the finances, and all of the various financial accounts and bills are under their name.
- The Bottom takes care of all of the grocery shopping within a very limited, coupon-laden budget.
- The Top has all of the passwords for the Bottom’s accounts – and only allows the Bottom to log into accounts with permission.
Join me on this audio education episode as we talk through different ways to help protect yourself just in case of a D/s break-up. While nobody wants to start their relationship thinking about the end of the relationship, I highly, highly recommend you do.
Similarly to how most kink circles encourage you to negotiate scenes – and set limits ahead of time – putting some basic protections in place in case of a D/s break-up lets you fully relax into a relationship – and ensure you’re in that power exchange relationship because you want to be – not because they have control of your money and you have no way to get it back. Putting in place some protection for yourself (whether you’re a top or bottom; we’ll talk about both!) ensures that you can fully consent to every aspect of the relationship – and I, personally, think that relationships tend to flourish best when everyone is fully present and ready to commit to any partnership.
So, let’s just jump straight into it:
How to Protect Yourself in a D/s Break-Up
