Have the unique movements and gyroations of the Alive One sex toy caught your eye? If so, let’s talk everything about it in this Alive One Masturbator review!
What is the Alive Masturbator?
The Alive One Masturbator is an automated masturbation cup sex toy. That is, you lube up the toy, slide it onto the penis, and simply hold it in place while the mechanisms swirl a textured stroker up and around the penis. No further movement is needed on your end; you simply hold it in place.
(This is different than most penis strokers which require the user to move the stroker up and down the penis to facilitate sensations.)
Of course, pretty much everyone loves the idea of laying back and having orgasms while something else does all of the work. The Alive One sex toy offers automated swirling and up-and-down stroking via the internal, textured cup inside of the toy. It is equipped with 10 different movement patterns that mix these two functionalities to pleasure the penis inside of the stroker.
READ: How to Use a Male Masturbator Cup Sex Toy
The Alive One adult toy features a vaginal orifice entry. This entrance does not feature any texture to itself, and it simply functions as a “door” into the internal part of the toy.
Skipping the batteries, the Alive One sex toy is rechargeable. It offers about 2 hours of playtime on a single charge.
The Alive One sex toy does not have any waterproof capabilities. We’ll go over how to clean it later, but if you’re someone who likes ultra-messy or aquatic masturbation, this is not a stroker for you.
The Alive One stroker has a total length (casing and all) of 10.5″ and a weight of 1.3 pounds when fully assembled. The insertable length is much, much shorter with a total insertable length of about 3.5″ with the texture covering about 2.75″ of that. The internal diameter of the insertable portion is about 1.5″ if you apply minimal pressure to the protruding texture, and about 1.8″ if you assume your dick can make the internal texture lay flat (it can’t but that’s the texture’s plastic casing’s physical size limit).
Alive One Masturbator Review: Let’s Talk About the Movements
The Alive One sex toy essentially has an internal cup that’s about 2.75″ in length. This internal, soft, textured cup “snaps” into the tall, plastic black 10.5″ stroker that you “see” at first glance. (Essentially, the black plastic shell houses all of the electrical parts while the smaller, 2.75″ cup offers the texture that will make direct contact with your penis.)
Once placed together, their masturbation journey can begin.
That is, the Alive One sex toy moves that internal textured cup up and down and swirls it around the shaft – often simultaneously!
The swirling motion has a full 360 degrees of movement, and it can continually spin all the way around, over and over. It can spin in either direction.
The up and down motion has a much smaller range of motion at about an inch of up and down movement leeway. The GIFs pretty much show you the furthest reaches of the swirling and up-and-down motion.
The 10 included patterns (the website states the toy has 10+ vibration modes, but I have yet to experience any vibrations) essentially mix these two functionalities together to make different movements around the penis.
All of the movements are relatively fast. At its slowest, it is still much faster than a human hand could swirl. At its fastest, it’s about on par with how fast I could twirl my pointer finger in the air if someone was going to give me $20 to beat a world record. The partner said he would have really preferred some soft, slower settings for good edging and teasing potential, but there really aren’t any equipped on the Alive One sex toy. It jumps straight into trying to get you to cum – and fast – as soon as you turn on the toy.
Protruding nodules are the name of the game for the internal Alive One texture. These rounded, cylindrical nodules protrude inwards towards the penis to be pleasure-inducing pressure points while the toy swirls around you. These nodules are very soft and plushy to the touch, and they will collapse or give way with the slightest bit of pressure. Unlubed and with my fingers, I’d compare it to some of the textured fidget toys.
As a fun treat, while the Alive One masturbator is doing all of these things, you can watch its movement via the little see-through “window” on the front of the toy. It isn’t the clearest window (you’ll be looking through a layer of plastic and the entire squishy clear layer of the internal cup itself), but it does allow you to clearly see the movement and your shaft if you enjoy watching.
Alive One Masturbator Review: How Does It Feel?
The marketing for the Alive One masturbator really, really hypes it up. We’re talking about sentences like:
“Alive ONE gives you the unprecedented orgasm you have never experienced before. Be alive, for the first time.”
That’s a gigantically tall bar to live up to.
That’s why it was so jarring when it wasn’t even able to get my partner (who is trained to be ultra-sensitive from all of our premature ejaculation play) to orgasm.
While giving the Alive One a quizzical look while it swirled around his penis, one of the first things he said was: “I’ve never before felt like my penis was in a broken washing machine.”
And there’s a bit of truth to that. The swirling of the Alive One sex toy really does remind you of a washing machine. That isn’t, necessarily, a bad thing, but it’s the type of movement you generally think about in your sex toys.
Despite that mental picture in his head, he was actually starting to approach the path to orgasm but wanted more head stimulation, so he slid further into the toy, and…
it stopped. The Alive One’s motor jammed up. Mood killer, for sure, but we tried to swap to other settings on the Alive One sex toy only to find the same issue. He had to pull further out, with only the very tip inserted into the swirling stroker, if he wanted the Alive One to move freely and reduce the likelihood of jams.
We were worried our experience was simply due to a low-charged battery or not enough lube, so we’ve tried repeating it multiple times (and on multiple dildos with condoms). We always end up with a jammed Alive One motor if we try to fully insert the penis.
We even tried different angles. Would holding the Alive One at a 45-degree angle change results? No, it still jams (and faster). Straight on and straight down seems to be how it’s designed, and even then, we can’t get much of the shaft into the Alive One without getting into jams.
This is where we’re stuck with the Alive One. The most sensation-heavy part of the stroker is at the very end of the swirling cup where the texture will surround all the sides and the head of the penis. The head of the penis is the most sensitive and orgasm-inducing part of the penis. But if we try to insert the penis far enough in to make it to the end of the swirling cup, the Alive One jams up.
Put all together, it means that the stroker can’t get him to orgasm, and that puts it on a short list of sex toys (out of hundreds) that we’ve had this problem with.
He is of average girth and average length; despite our small penis humiliation play, he has an average shaft. We slather the toy and his dick in lube. I’m just guessing the Alive One was designed to move seamlessly on a slimmer shaft. (The internal chamber of the cup, from innermost point of the texture to the opposing side’s innermost texture point, is slightly under 1.5″ in diameter.)
A test on a few dildos of varying diameters seems to generally confirm this as true. Our slimmer dildos (like the Tantus Sport Long) don’t seem to jam the motors no matter how hard I shove the dildo in while average-sized toys (like the Uprize) seem to jam it up even faster than human flesh.
That being said, even without the penis fully inserted, he does say that it feels weird – but pleasant. The swirling sensation is different, and despite using it quite a few times for our Alive One masturbator review, he still cocks his head at it every time we first pull it out. The first couple of sentences are usually something akin to: “It’s just so weird!” before relaxing and enjoying it.
How to Control the Alive One Sex Toy?
The Alive One sex toy has three buttons near the top (opposite where the penis slides in). The positioning of these buttons is absolutely perfect for one-handed use. Your thumb can easily reach and press any of these buttons while holding the Alive One masturbator on the shaft.
The power button turns on the Alive One masturbator. The “speaker” button turns on the built-in moaning sounds. The wavy line will cycle through the 10 built-in modes.
Honestly, it’s extremely easy to control, and you’ll be up and using the Alive One sex toy within seconds.
How’s the Noise?
The Alive One masturbator isn’t as loud as I thought it would be.
Don’t get me wrong; it isn’t quiet. But it’s quieter than my sex machines, and it’s much quieter than the Lovense Max.
But it isn’t quiet. It can most definitely be heard in the same room, and it can probably be heard outside of a closed door. The whining, whirring high-pitched noise really makes it stand out. It doesn’t have a deep hum that could be mistaken for a loud air conditioning unit; it doesn’t have an easily explained-away noise to help with discretion.
I would not use the Alive One in a house where you’d care if anyone else knew you were masturbating. They may not automatically know what’s happening (it isn’t as recognizable as the slapping of skin), but it’s a curious enough noise that they’ll come to investigate to see if something broke.
This can be double-trouble if you happen to be wearing the headphones to listen to the built-in moaning noises. If that’s the case, you may not hear approaching footsteps coming to investigate “that squeaky noise”.
When it comes to your own use, though, you’ll need to turn up your porn a bit louder to hear it over the Alive One. It isn’t a grating sound, and you’ll get used to it, but it feels a bit like when I want to masturbate while the washing machine is running. I know the washing machine is on, and it isn’t distracting – but it definitely is loud enough that I need to change my usual porn viewing habits.
Built-In Moaning from the Alive One sex toy?
Full disclosure: I’m not a big fan of built-in sounds and noises in sex toys. Almost everyone I know has their own choice of porn/erotica/fantasies that they like to use, so adding generic, “broadest appeal possible” noises to a sex toy simply seems like an unnecessary cost. I’d much rather see that expenditure go towards improving the sex toy itself.
That being said, the Alive One sex toy does have built-in moaning noises. They can only be accessed by plugging in a set of headphones to a headphone jack at the top of the toy. The masturbator cup does not have any built-in speakers to play it without having on headphones.
When the toy is on, you’re supposed to simply hit the speaker button (with headphones plugged in) to turn on the moaning modes.
Unfortunately, I have yet to get the moaning functionality to work. I’ve tried 5 headphones now, and none of them seem to listen to any moaning.
(Also, do you know how hard it is to find wired audiojack headphones? I had to borrow multiple pairs from friends. Everything is Bluetooth nowadays.)
As this isn’t a big selling point for us, we don’t miss it at all, but I was unable to test it because it doesn’t seem to work. The headphone jack doesn’t have much friction/resistance when I plug in the headphones, so I’m wondering if the jack itself is broken.
If this was something I was really interested in, I’d likely contact the company to see if this was covered under their 2-year warranty.
Bonus Accessory: A Suction Cup Mount
When I received this toy for my Alive One masturbator review, I was surprised to find that it came with a suction cup mount. It’s not mentioned anywhere on the website (as far as I can find), and the instruction manual makes no mention of it either.
But hey – I do not look down upon free accessories.
I will say, though, a suction cup mount is a bit of an odd choice for a 1.3 pound sex toy that’s ruined by an ounce of water. Almost all marketing I’ve seen for suction cup sex toys involve shower use, and taking the Alive One masturbator into the shower means you’d never get to use it again.
(I could honestly see it being a good fit if you wanted to jerk off before you turned on the shower for easy after-jerk clean-up, though.)
The included suction cup mount is a shining star for the first couple of uses. When the stroker and its suction cup first arrive at your door, you’ll notice that the suction cup comes with adhesive on its “suction” side. This semi-sticky adhesive made it stick like glue on our shower wall – and it honestly didn’t move an inch! We didn’t have a single problem with it unsticking itself.
However, the adhesive is always temporary, and on our 4th trial for this Alive One masturbator review, we found that the suction cup was waning. It slid off the wall twice while trying to use it – and at that point, we chose to simply go handheld.
If you have a way to refresh the adhesive on the back of the suction cup, you could actually get away with regular, hands-free, suction cup use of the Alive One. With that adhesive there, it was really, really solid on a clean shower wall.
(The suction cup screws into an open screw hole at the top of the toy. As the Alive One is a little under a pound and a half in weight, that adhesive in the suction cup is really, really helpful for keeping the Alive One in place.)
Alive One Masturbator Review: How to Clean the Alive One?
The Alive One masturbator isn’t waterproof. It’s pretty much anti-water. The electronic parts housed in the black casing are very, very sensitive to water, and the plastic casing screwed together around the electrical bits does very little to protect it from more than the lightest splash.
To make it as easy as possible, the Alive One masturbator is designed to pull apart for easy cleaning that avoids the electrical parts.
I’ll admit: while writing this Alive One masturbator review with the instructions in front of me, we were worried about breaking the toy just to try to get it apart to clean it. I highly, highly recommend fully disassembling the toy prior to using it. Not only does this let you understand how it comes apart while you aren’t orgasm-fogged, but it also is thirty times easier without lube involved, and some of these pieces really, really take pressure to pull apart. Understanding how much pressure before lube enters the picture can be very useful.
First, you pull off the vaginal orifice. It has a plastic piece that “contains” the orifice, but it’s usually pretty secure on the tip – especially when lubed. This can be frustrating in itself, and you may have to use a washcloth to clean off lube off just the orifice to get it off.
After the orifice is off, you’ll be able to reach inside and pull out the internal rotating, textured tube. This buddy is really REALLY securely in there, and it will be really hard to remove while it’s caked in lube. It requires a very strong pull, and we have learned to do this over a soft surface near nothing breakable because the tension has caused us to toss the now-released textured tube multiple times now. (And broken a few fingernails).
Once the orifice and internal textured tube are out, you’re free to clean them with as much water as you’d like; they are fully waterproof.
You’ll then need to use the least damp washcloth of your life to clean up any lube messes on the full-sized black stroker that houses the mechanical bits. Less is more here. Any water getting inside can entirely destroy the toy, and as there are large plastic seams I can see a bit of light through, there is virtually no barrier between outside and inside for this mechanical half.
Honestly, cleaning it is a bit of a pain. I appreciate the fact that the Alive One sex toy doesn’t fall apart on us mid-use, but once lube is introduced into the equation, getting the orifice and the internal tube out from the toy is really difficult. I’m not sure how much worse it would be if we introduced a bunch of ejaculate into the equation too. The lube is bad enough.
Future iterations of the Alive One adult toy might benefit from easy-grip tabs or a twist-to-release system.
When you’re done, with a toy at this price point, I really recommend storing it in the original packaging. It’s a sturdy cardboard box with internal foam that’s perfectly cut out to fit the Alive One toy and accessories. It should stack well with other boxes, and it’s relatively discreet when stacked (the sides of the box simply have a red “A”).
If not, the cardboard box should be recyclable in most areas – though the foam will be garbage.
Final Thoughts: Alive One Masturbator Review
Alive One Masturbator Review
Summary
I simply think the Alive One masturbator needs a stronger motor. The sensations could be orgasmic, but as soon as the spinning cup encounters a cylindrical object of a certain size, it seems to jam up. Unfortunately, with my partner’s average penis size and dildos as a test, it seems like “near average size” is a size that will cause it to happen.
It’s possible that interchangeable swirling cup attachments may help alleviate this problem; wider cups would allow for less friction which might reduce the load on the motor.
But as it is, the Alive One masturbation toy jamming up often means that it doesn’t provide enough reliable stimulation for orgasm. It isn’t hitting the marketing copy’s claim of “Being alive for the very first time”.
It’s very possible it may work for you, however. It’s just hard to wholeheartedly recommend it at the high price tag without knowing what, exactly, is causing the motor to jam up so easily.
That all being said, I do appreciate what Alive One has attempted to do with the masturbation cup. The packaging is free of half-naked lingerie models, and the included instruction manual has care illustrations that make it easy to understand how to use the Alive One sex toy. There is a bit of recycling information included on the instructions, and the stroker even comes with a two-year limited warranty. They’re trying to produce a higher-quality masturbation cup, and it definitely shows through.
I just think the motor needs a bit more power or a “best suited for” penis size disclaimer before purchase.
Thanks for reading my Alive One masturbator review.
