Let’s get the elephant out of the room here: if you’ve ended up here to learn how to give a femdom foot massage, you might have a foot fetish – or you’re about to make your femdom awfully happy.
If your femdom loves massages, and you love the chance to get to interact with a part of her body that turns you on, freakin’ have at. That’s what’s awesome about sex.
What we don’t want to do is provide poor, half-assed massages under the guise of “massage” just to be able to touch her feet. While that might lead to temporary satisfaction on your end, it’s likely to lead to frustration, resentment, and a distinct lack of foot jobs in the future.
(If you’re not here because of a foot fetish, you’re still very much welcome to learn how to give an impressive femdom foot massage! Turns out, regardless of kinks, most people love massages, and giving your dominant a good one can be a great way to surprise and please your femdom.)
What IS a Femdom Foot Massage?
This one isn’t too complicated; a femdom foot massage is a massage given to a femdom. That’s it!
It just, generally, means that there’s some sort of power exchange relationship, whether temporary or long-term, between the two people exchanging the foot massage.
You’ll be more likely to see bondage and kink associated with a femdom foot massage too; “forcing” the giver to give the massage is a common trope. It might also require the giver to take breaks in the massage to refresh drinks or may require the giver to provide the massage while fully nude.
How to Prepare for a Femdom Foot Massage
The biggest factor in your femdom foot massage success is preparation.
I know, preparing for stuff kinda sucks.
But having everything you need nearby – without needing to rush back and forth – will make your femdom foot massage feel like a luxurious experience instead of a haphazard one. After all, how often do professional masseuses need to leave the room during a massage to fetch something they forgot? Almost never. Their space is prepped ahead of time.
Luckily, I’m going to make this as easy as possible by providing a full list of everything I can think that you might want. This would include:
For the massage itself
- Massage oil for your massage (like the Wicked Sensual Massage Creams)
- (Optional) Disposable gloves for easy massage oil containment
- A warmed, wet towel
- A tall cup that can be filled with water and fit your massage bottles (a bowl will do)
- Towels, as needed, to protect furniture and floor from any excess oil drips
- A bit of research ahead of time on different foot massage techniques. “Foot massage technique” in YouTube will bring up many videos. These two are ones I liked: One. Two.
For the atmosphere
- A speaker to play music
- Music (preferably ad-free!) to play on that speaker
- A fully-charged phone (if that’s handling the music)
- Scents (candles, incense) that blend well with any massage oil scents (A fragrance-free massage oil, like the Wicked Stripped + Bare, can be used if you know you have her favorite scent available)
To fully pamper your femdom
- Her favorite drinks, ready to pour (if they’re sealed, having them nearby in an ice bucket can be perfection. If they’re mixed, if they can be premade and ready to pour from the fridge, can be helpful.)
- Her favorite snacks, ready to be eaten in a bowl (take time to pour it out of the package; crinkly bag sounds can really mess with your atmosphere)
- Additional pillows and blankets to sink into the sensations and not need to “support” anything
To make it kinky and move onto other activities
- Any bondage items you think your femdom may want to use
- A bondage board to sit on
- A riding crop or other very long impact play toy you would be okay being swatted with
- Water-based lube if vaginal play might be on the table
- Fully-stocked hand soap to wash your hands if swapping to any vaginal play
- Her favorite sex toys
- A hands-free toy that can be used on yourself
- Any safer sex items
Where Should You Give Your Femdom Foot Massage?
The exact location of your massage will depend on what furniture you have available and where you both are comfortable.
Honestly, I’m really partial to a simple, supportive couch. The femdom gets to sink into the softness of a couch while the giver sits on the floor at the perfect height for a foot massage.
However, some people may find the proximity to a TV to be somewhat unrelaxing – or they may be worried about getting massage oils on the fabric of their expensive couch. (I’d recommend using a sex blanket or towels to simply protect it, if that’s a concern.)
You can also make a foot massage for femdom happen with:
- A recliner
- A kitchen chair
- Seated on the edge of the bathtub
- Seated on a kitchen counter
- Seated on a massage table
- Seated on the edge of a bed
- With both of you sitting on a bed
- While both of you sit on the couch
- While both of you are sitting on the floor
Really, you can do this anywhere a femdom will be comfortable while the giver can still access the feet. That’s pretty much anywhere.
Plan out your location ahead of time. For example, if you’re both sitting on the bed for your massage, the hunched-over position of the giver might lead to an early tap-out – purely because of discomfort in the lower back. Make sure to think about the position of both the giver and the receiver to find something they both want to hold for long periods of time.
Prepping Your Brain for Femdom Foot Massage
Do you want to really impress your femdom?
If so, it starts by changing your mindset. Woo-woo shit aside, it can be easy for most of us to function our everyday lives on a “Get A done, Get B done, Get C done” while we check off the checkboxes of our errands and tasks.
If you really want to impress your femdom, I need you to take a second to remove yourself from the rat race of life. View the massage you’re going to give from your femdom’s eyes. How does the space look? What do you think would really make it feel special? What behavior would they like to see from you?
If you’re giving a femdom foot massage to a casual partner, this might look like asking them. Yes, communication is definitely encouraged. Ask them how they’d imagine their ideal foot massage to look.
Do they want to play video games and virtually ignore you while they enjoy pleasure? Would they like to relax, close their eyes, and sip their favorite martini while they ignore you? Would they love to have an animated conversation with you while enjoying the connective touch? Would they find it fun to bind you and verbally humiliate you (with the help of a riding crop, of course!) while you give your foot massage?
The “exacts” of what your femdom will prefer will vary based on their personality and what they like. If you’re in a long-term relationship with your femdom, you probably have a general idea, but again, feel free to ask clarifying questions too. If your end goal is making your femdom feel as pleasured as possible, having all of the information helps!
Once you start, stay in that lovely, “what would SHE like?” headspace throughout the entire massage.
“Yes, ma’am” can go a long way in making your massage feel like a power exchange activity.
Some other ways to infuse submissive, power exchange elements into your femdom foot massage can include:
- Using her preferred honorific after every request (“Yes, my queen”. “No, Goddess”)
- Not initiating any conversation. Respond if she asks questions, but allow her to initiate conversation as desired. Questions about service are allowed.
- Reducing eye contact, keeping your eyes focused on her feet.
- If it fits within your dynamic, referring to yourself in the third person: “This filthy foot pervert would like to know if…”
- Using subservient language. “Would it please you if I…”
- Keeping an eye on her drink, and offering her a new drink when you see it reaching the half-way mark.
- Offering to fluff her pillows or blankets. If she prefers warmed blankets, you may request to excuse yourself to place a new blanket into the dryer, alternating with her current one as her current one gets colder.
- Dressing to the occasion within your dynamic which may include your own bondage gear, collar, nudity, lingerie, or more.
But What About Bondage?
Yes, rope bondage, spanking, and a whole host of other activities can make your foot massage feel “femdom” too.
BUT I want you to think about where the “effort” is for those options. Doesn’t she need to tie you up? Won’t she need to spank you? Will she be the one humiliating you for your love of feet?
If the answer is “yes”, you shouldn’t automatically assume those activities will happen. In fact, assume they won’t. Feel free to grab the supplies you’d need if SHE wants to do them, but remember: a femdom foot massage is about helping her relax and feel pleasure.
If she gets the vibe that you’re simply going through the rote motions in hopes of getting a foot job (despite never saying so), you’re going to ruin all of the efforts you’ve put into this – and probably make her a bit resentful too.
So, yes, I highly recommend adding power exchange and kink elements as desired, but focus on adding them within your behavior, dress, and language.
You can offer her options to add kink on her end if you’d like (and many will likely get into the spirit of things – especially as they get turned on by your behavior!), but it should not be expected.
If you’re going into this how to give a femdom foot massage article with the expectation of receiving something for giving a foot massage, please talk to your femdom first, and negotiate a scene instead. Nobody likes to be presented with a surprise “bill” for something they thought was a gift.
There’s nothing wrong with quid-pro-quo, but it should never come as a surprise.
How to Give a Femdom Foot Massage: Step-by-Step Guide
So, you’ve gathered all of your supplies and you’re in the headspace you think she’d like from you. You’ve thought about where you want to make this femdom foot massage happen, what you think would make it best for her, and you’re ready to make it happen. Let’s go through it all, one step at a time.
Step 1: Prepare your Femdom
A surprise massage can be kinda fun, but it also can be kinda stressful. If she feels gross or doesn’t want to be touched, your surprise massage might come as an uncomfortable shock – instead of a pleasant one. (This can be an excuse to offer her a bathing service instead, though!)
I recommend letting your femdom know that you’re going to give her a massage. You may choose to surprise her with where (if she’d like), but you should give her a general timeframe to expect it.
For the best surprise, I recommend preparing your massage when she’s out of the house – or at least in a different room. If you’re in a hotel as a special treat, this may look like asking her to go downstairs to the bar for a drink or two. If you’re at home, this may look like setting up while she’s out on a (relaxing!) errand or in the shower.
Step 2: Prepare Your Space
Now that you have the time to get ready, use it to your advantage.
Your first step will be to do a light cleaning of the space. You don’t need to mop (how sexy would that be?!), but you should ensure most of the clutter is looking nice or moved to another room. It’s really hard to focus on an erotic femdom foot massage if there’s a pile of clean laundry on the couch next to you, waiting to be sorted.
Once the space is looking a bit tidier, you’ll want to set up for the massage itself. This could include:
- Setting up your music (starting with a playlist that makes you feel subby can be a good background for setting everything up)
- Gathering all of your supplies (see supply list above)
- Reducing harsh lighting by using lamps or dimming overhead lights
- Preparing any drinks or snacks
- Gathering pillows and blankets you think she’ll want
- Gathering any pillows or comfort items you’ll need to be comfy where you’re sitting
- Covering any surfaces you’re worried about getting massage oil on
- Dressing yourself to your ideal state
As your final few items before you invite her back in:
- Swap the music to your relaxing foot massage music
- Fill a glass with hot water to warm the massage oil (Ensuring the bottles are sealed shut, drop them into a glass of hot – not boiling – water to warm up the oil)
- Place all of your massage items near your “work space”
- Turn the temperature to your femdom’s ideal temperature
- Light any candles or incense – IF you won’t be leaving the house to fetch your femdom. If you will, wait until you’re back to avoid unsupervised flames.
Step 3: Invite Your Femdom In
Before you invite your partner into the space, I recommend taking a few moments to center your own headspace.
Remember, we talked about how to give a femdom foot massage with intention – and having that intention starts with taking a few deep breaths, remembering “your place”, and remembering why you want to give this femdom foot massage in the first place.
After prepping all of those items, it can be easy to get stuck in “to-do” mode, but take a few moments to yourself to free your brain before fetching your femdomme. After all, you did all that prepwork, so you could relax down the line!
When you’re ready, invite your partner in with a method that offers the reverence you’re looking to express. This may include asking her to knock on the door, then welcoming her in, butler-style, with a drink in hand to the “transformed” space of your apartment. This might include rose petals leading up to the front door. It might simply include texting her a photo of the transformed space to let her know she should come home while you stay safely nude within the home and don’t pressure her to come home any faster than she wants to (which is a treat in itself!).
Encourage her to pee and freshen up as needed before starting the femdom foot massage.
Step 4: Start With Gentle Touch
Once your female dominant is comfortably situated on their “throne” and ready to relax, we’re going to start with light, unoiled touch.
It can be tempting to start with massage oil, but we want to use gentle, light, airy touches on the skin to really introduce another human’s touch and get your femdom relaxed into the massage.
Pay attention to the calves and the feet, gently gliding your hands over all of her skin (but being careful to avoid tickle responses on the bottom of the feet!).
You’ll probably want to spend at least 5 minutes here. When you see your femdom start to relax into the touch and realize that she’ll be there awhile, that’s when you’ll want to move on.
Step 5: Add Massage Oil
Everything glides with a bit of oil, and that’s true for foot massages too.
Drizzle a bit of your warmed massage oil onto your partner’s foot, and begin to work it into the skin of the foot. Start with a bit more pressure than you were using during your gentle touch phase, but don’t start too firm. You want to warm her up for more pressure, and starting gently leaves somewhere for you to “go” as the massage progresses.
No idea what to do? You don’t have to be a professional masseuse to still make it happen. YouTube can be your best friend for learning new things. While gentle rubbing on different parts of the feet can feel amazing for most people, if you’d feel better memorizing specific techniques, a YouTube search for “foot massage technique” will give you some ideas to work with.
Again, though, cupping the foot, rubbing your fingers along it, squeezing it, and swirling your hands around it will all likely feel good to your femdom. Feet are surprisingly sensitive if you’re trying to pleasure them! A bit like the sensitive skin of the neck, most touches tend to feel good when you’re in a vulnerable, relaxed state.
Be careful with light, gentle, trailing touches on the bottom of the feet. They tend to be ticklish for almost everyone. You’ll find that some of the tickle responses calm down after you’ve been massaging for a bit, but lighter touches tend to trigger those easiest. A bit of pressure can eliminate that.
Throughout this femdom foot massage, especially if you have a relationship with this femdom, try to stay “present”. Feel how nice it is to have her skin and pleasure in your hands. Feel the happiness and compersion of her pleasure while you offer her a service. If you’re a foot fetishist, there may be sexual happiness involved too. Giving your partner a foot massage can be a very bonding experience, and if you can stay “present” in the massage, feeling her skin on yours, it can really help with feeling that connection.
You should expect to be able to spend 10 to 20 minutes on a single application of massage oil before needing a reapplication – which can be a great excuse to check in with her.
Step 6: Check In with Her
While regular check-ins can break a bit of the relaxing bubble, after you’ve been doing your foot massage for a bit, you’ll want to check in.
This can especially be a great idea in-between massage oil applications.
See how she’s feeling. Would she like more pressure? Less? Touch in a new area? Does she need a drink or her pillows fluffed? Is the music to her liking?
You can use this information to adjust the sensations you’re providing, and especially in the case of a new drink or snack refill, you can give your poor working hands a short break.
Step 7: Continue the Massage
After you’ve checked in, go ahead and continue the massage. You can add more massage oil as needed – though the Wicked Massage Creams tend to last a really long time.
Rinse and repeat as often as needed with your massage oil and your femdom’s request. (A bathroom break might be necessary in there somewhere too!)
Step 8: Ask for Any Play
If you were considering other types of play as an option, this is where you’d offer it. Do not be pushy. Do not interrupt the relaxed, connecting vibe that you were going for.
However, you may offer something if you think your femdom would be in the mood for it.
If we’re staying in the realm of foot fetishism, this might look like something like “Ma’am, if it’s okay with you, may I slide myself against your beautiful feet? Having the honor to touch them and pleasure you has been really arousing.”
See how we didn’t ask her to do anything? If she wants to offer to add something in herself, she will, but in this case, you’re simply escalating your massage to include kinkier elements without requiring effort on her end.
Other options may include:
- “Ma’am, may I put on my chastity cage for you, under your supervision?”
- “Goddess, it would really please me to use my mouth to continue parts of my massage. Could you grant me permission?”
- “Touching your amazing body has been a big turn on for me. May I continue to massage up your legs?”
- “I’d really like to continue giving you more pleasure. Can I help you further relax with my tongue between your thighs?”
If she says no, accept graciously, and continue the massage. DO NOT end the massage if she says “no”. This is a pretty clear indication that you were giving the massage with hopes of receiving something in return, and this can be really disheartening to the recipient.
Step 9: Let Her Lead the Scene
At this point, whether she accepts your request or not, she’s essentially “in charge” of the scene.
If she wants to add some play, have fun!
If she’d like to continue receiving a femdom foot massage, do that as well.
If that’s the case, the massage will likely end when your hands are too tired to continue giving the massage. It’s surprising how many muscles you use in your hands for giving foot massages!
Either way, try to take a bit of time after your foot massage or scene to come down together and slowly reacclimate to everyday life. You want to retain that relaxed, connecting feeling for as long as you can! This might look like cuddling in the bed, and it might look like receiving head pets while you lay your head on her lap.
Thanks for reading my “How to Give a Femdom Foot Massage” article!
