Femdom Service Ideas to Surprise (And Please!) Your Femdom

Sometimes, as a submissive, you’re just looking for ways to make your partner happy. Honestly, in general, I’d like to imagine that most of us have times where we just want to see our partner happy, and kinky relationships are no different.

However, for kinksters, the “how” might be a bit different than what you’re used to. Since power exchange relationships are focused on the Dominant Partner making demands – and the submissive partner following them – it can feel a bit more difficult to try to “surprise’ your femdom. After all, she’s usually calling the shots. Trying to set up a surprise femdom service can feel a bit like a giant ocean where you don’t want to do something wrong – but you still want to do something nice for your partner.

That’s why I’m here to help (or, at least, try to help!) These femdom service ideas are here to give you ideas to go above-and-beyond your typical activities and do things that will make your femdom partner smile. These are minor things that shouldn’t interact with whatever life you and your femdom are leading – but can still surprise your partner and make them smile.

The biggest caution about femdom service: No matter what suggestions I give here, the needs and interests of your own femdom (or maledom – or “dom” of any gender!) partner outweigh these suggestions. If you think something sounds like an amazing idea but are pretty sure it wouldn’t be great for your partner, it’s probably not a good idea.

Surprises are amazing when they’re tailored to your partner’s wants and needs – but surprises can also be a giant pain in the ass (or stressful!) if it’s just adding more work to your femdom’s plate. If you’re using these suggestions as a jumping board for your own inspirational ideas, consider jumping to the last section for some questions to think about when you’re out there with a DIY idea.

Otherwise, let’s jump into the femdom service ideas:

Do a Chore That Needs Done

Is there a specific task that needs to be done and you haven’t done it? I mean, honestly, look around you – is there a shopping list or the garbage can is full?

I know you’re looking for femdom domestic service tasks that go above-and-beyond the standard things, but taking out the garbage and keeping the home running smoothly can be more appreciated than extraneous things when your femdom is busy and has a constant “to-do list” going on in her head.

In fact, spending a lot of time and money doing something “unnecessary” can rub her the wrong way if the most-basic chores she already asked you to do are getting neglected.

I find this easiest to remember by this short story:

Imagine you’re at work. You’ve turned in a report to your boss, and you’re waiting on your boss to get back to you with feedback and information before you can complete the report. Other co-workers keep asking you for that report, but you’re stuck making excuses and feeling stressed about it until the boss gets back to you with the info you need. You reach out to the boss – multiple times. At this point, you just feel like a pest, but you need that information from them. The next day, the boss decides that the office has low morale and decides to spend the morning putting together a lunch pizza party for everyone.

Yes, you probably appreciate the pizza, but I’d bet, at more than one occasion during that party, you’ll be more frustrated that all of that extra time, doing this unnecessary party, could have been spent doing the one thing you asked them to do.

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Drive Her to Her Favorite Place

Are you driving somewhere with your femdom? Consider elevating the boring drive with a femdom chauffeur experience. This is easily something you can surprise her with – that requires virtually zero input on her part.

Clean up your car, and add some minor supplies to your backseat (in addition to allowing lots of leg room!) like bottled water. Get her favorite music playing on the radio.

Tell her you’ll pull the car around before you leave, throw on the hazards, and open up the door for her.

When you reach your destination, drop her off at the door and go on your lonesome to park the car. Try to be as professional and service-oriented as possible. Don’t be surprised if she wants to make this a regular part of your relationship.

Into this? I have, quite literally, an entire article about how to explore kinky chauffeur service.

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Fish for Some Femdom Service Ideas

Your “surprise” doesn’t have to be entirely a surprise. Look for conversation points like “I wish I could…” or “I wish I had time to…”. That’s your cue!

If you don’t know that particular skill, YouTube exists for all types of learning.

If it’s a large need you can’t easily solve on your own, try to make strides in making the service happen. (Example: If she wants to get the cabinets replaced, you can do most of the leg work for her. Look up the best carpenters in the area, and present her with the list of options and prices for the work. If she chooses one, call and get the quote scheduled.)

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Get the Perfect Evening Details Ahead of Time

During a no-pressure time (like over dinner or some non-sexual discussion), ask her what her ideal evening would look like. Commit it to memory (and save it as a note on your phone next time you excuse yourself for the bathroom!).

When she’s had an okay day at work (don’t choose one of her worst workdays; she might be too exhausted to really appreciate it), surprise her with her ideal evening.

If your femdom is particularly protective of her time, consider asking her to block-off an evening for your surprise. That way she’ll be able to fully appreciate it.

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A Simple Beverage

So simple, but so effective: Surprise her by ordering and bringing her favorite beverage when she isn’t expecting it – whether it’s a local coffeeshop, tea, or just a fountain soda. Maybe it’s when you’re coming home from work or maybe it’s just after you hit the gym.

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…then Make that Beverage At Home

Speaking of that favorite beverage, is there a way you can make a copycat version of it at home? Especially if you share finances (or on frigid, winter days when no one wants to go outside), having the ability to make it at home can really elevate your day

You can make a fun time out of this femdom service idea by asking your femdom to “taste test” each one and see what she thinks of it. That way, your final product is exactly what she wants – and she might even start requesting you do it instead of storebought!

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Be Her New Favorite Porn

What’s her favorite type of porn? Most women use something during masturbation – whether it’s a mental fantasy, audio porn, VR porn, written porn, pictures, or videos. What’s her favorite?

Once you know, go about making her some porn of your own. Write a sexy story, use your photos audionotes feature to spin an erotic fantasy, take erotic pictures of yourself, or film a porn video for her eyes only.

Most importantly, make sure you’re catering this to her fantasies. Not what you think she would like, but what you actually know that she loves. For the biggest impact, pick her favorite kink and focus on that.

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Write Her a Femdom Love Letter

Write her a hand-written note. So simple, but so effective. In the days of e-mail and texting communication, receiving a hand-written note feels different than receiving that same thing in a text. (Bonus points if you pick up some gorgeous stationery to go with it.) These are the types of things that a lot of people will treasure down the line after you’ve been together for years.

Lost as to what to write? Here, have some submissive love letter writing prompts:

• I want to serve you every single day because….
• It makes me happiest when I can see you….
• My favorite moment that I’ve spent with you was…
• I knew I wanted to be owned by you when…
• My favorite thing about being owned by you is…
• I’m most looking forward to doing this with you…

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Write Her an Erotica

Do you know what kinks make her tick – and what aspects about those kinks turn her on? Consider writing her an erotic story. A lot of femdoms (and people in general, really!) like reading erotic stories, and having one written that’s perfectly customized to her preferences is pretty awesome. Plus, this gives you some time to think about – and really understand – what she enjoys about those kinks. That can help you out in the bedroom too!

Remember, though: you’re writing a story about her preferences. It can always be tempting to start putting your own wants and desires into a story, but make sure everything you toss into the erotica is aligned with what she enjoys.

If you aren’t much of a writer, you can still sift through pre-existing erotica stories out there and compile a giant list of ones that you think will appeal to her. There is so much junk out there in the world of erotica; you’re saving her some serious time!

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Restaurant Service – At Home!

Elevate your take-out experience. Ask her to go into the other room while you “serve” the dinner.

Then set out the dishwasher and set the table, pick up some to-go dinner, set it out on the plates, and add a favorite drink to share. Consider table decorations, candles, or a tablecloth for elevated elegance. (And make sure to think about the take-out food you’re buying! Some food doesn’t replate so well!)

For bonus points, dress up in a butler/service outfit and periodically get up to approach her side of the table and ask if she needs anything. (Refilling the drinks is an easy win!)

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The Movie Experience – At Home!

Is she much more of a TV or movie watcher? If that’s the case, you’re about to become the theater attendant of your own living room. Compile her favorite blankets and pillows and make a movie-watching fort near your TV. (This especially hits well if a movie she’s been looking forward to just came out on DVD or streaming.)

If she’s into popcorn, consider popping up a fresh batch and covering it in butter – just like the theaters. Most grocery stores sell the little boxed-up versions of candies, too, and toss one of those into the mix for a pretty neat experience that’s reminiscent of movie theaters.

You can actually get the “movie theater popcorn containers” at most stores too. You know, those cardboard tubs that you get at a theater that are terrible for the environment. Consider picking one of those up for a more realistic experience if that’s your jam.

If you want the full movie theater drink experience, add an extra cup underneath your cup next time you pick up a fountain soda at a gas station. Now you have a realistic cup with straw and lid to pour a soda into at the “theater”.

Since you’re the attendant, expect to pause the movie as needed for pee breaks – or fetch water or other treats as requested. You can make this as formal and femdom domestic service -y as you want as you kneel at her feet during the entirety of the movie. Or you can cuddle up next to her on the couch while you both share the popcorn. It’s up to you.

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Draw Her a Luxurious Bath

Does she love baths and pampering? If so, surprise her with a warm, drawn bath at a time when she normally bathes (and when she has extra time to really relish a good bath).

I recommend starting some scented candles ahead of time, and adding some her-approved bubble bath to the bath (make sure it’s the stuff she normally uses. Some vaginas can have sensitivities to different types of soap!).

To top it off, ask her to call you when she’s done bathing, and provide her with a warmed towel, her warmed, folded, clean clothes, and a glass of champagne/wine/her favorite beverage.

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A Good Massage

Massages are one of those things that most people love – especially when you drop in a bit of warmed, skin-on-skin contact. Most people can give a not-terrible shoulder massage with virtually zero training (stay away from the spine, adjust the pressure to your partner’s preferences, there you go). This makes it an easy way to surprise your femdom after a rough day at work.

Massages are also one of those things that (unfortunately) get used as an “easy way to convince her to have sex with me” tactic in a lot of relationships. Just scrolling through a few parenting forums will tell you that a lot of partners attempt to use that as a Step 1 to judge if their partner will let them fuck them tonight.

Especially if your femdom has previous, negative experiences about massages being used that way, it can make them less pleasant as a surprise gift. If that’s the case, consider “offering” a massage, and being available if she chooses to take it, but certainly not pushing it on her.

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An AMAZING Massage

A nice, pleasant shoulder rub can be amazing, but what if you took the massage to the next level? For this level of femdom service surprise, consider pulling out all of the stops for your upcoming massage like:

• Dimmed lights
• An area of your home set-aside for this experience
• Sheets and towels that are fresh out of the dryer for a “warmed” expirence
• A fragrant candle that she loves
• A fragrant massage oil that she loves. The bottle is currently sealed and resting inside of a glass full of hot water. (This will warm the massage oil for you when you pull the bottle out; you’re welcome.)
• Gentle music that she enjoys playing in the background. If at a loss, “spa music” is a search you can do on YouTube. Ensure it’s an hour-long (or more) track and preferably without ads.
• Preferably a robe or other loose-fitting (but sensual-on-the-skin-feeling) clothing that she can step into when you’re done. If your femdom enjoys a bit of alcohol, having a light drink ready after the massage can feel like a luxurious continuation of the experience.

Since this femdom domestic service offering requires so much effort and forethought, I highly recommend planning this one in advance – and asking her to book it on her calendar like she would any other massage appointment.

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Let’s Do a Hand Massage

If your femdom spends a lot of time working with their hands, a hand massage can feel amazing and is pretty easy for beginners to do. You’ll want some lotion or massage oil to make your hands glide against one another, but you can gently massage the tissue, gently massage the joints, and make her hands feel cared for. Depending on your femdom, they may also like a forearm massage.

(If you’re unsure how to do these, you can always go get a manicure and experience one yourself – or check out some YouTube videos. Everything seems to be available on the internet nowadays. Just be gentle around the finger joints and with tugging or forcefully bending fingers.)

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“Buy” Her an Experience

Nobody says you need to be the one providing the pampering experience, and in many cases (haircut, nails), it’s probably best to let a professional do it.

While haircuts can get pretty pricy (especially with coloring), most nail salon appointments will stay around the same cost of a nice dinner for two (and you can always check in with pricing ahead of time).

Consider taking your femdom, dropping her off at her nail appointment of choice, paying for it, and being there to pick her up when it’s done. I’m not sure why it hits so well, but it definitely feels very, very pampering when I’ve had partners do this in the past. I think it’s because it seems so “luxurious” to have a partner who wants me to look and feel my best for them.

Depending on what type of power exchange the two of you have, you can sit outside and wait in the car for her, or you can sit in the nail salon’s waiting room (if she gets a bit of a thrill from making you wait). If it’s in a mall, like nail salons tend to be placed, you can go entertain yourself for a while until she’s ready to leave.

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A “Flight” of Her Favorite Beverages

Does she love soda/beer/tea/sparkling water/other beverages? Take it upon yourself to make her a tasting “flight” of some fun options – preferably of ones you know that she hasn’t tried. You can make it fun and playful by learning about the beverages ahead of time (and introducing each one like a sommelier!) – and you get some fun information about what beverages you can buy her in the future as a treat.

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Become Her Eye Candy

Men can dress up too! What’s her favorite outfit on you? Looking tantalizing in lingerie? Becoming her personal cosplay porn? Looking dapper in a full suit? Surprise her by wearing it next time you think she’d be interested in a scene or sex that evening. Use your best judgment. This might get lost in the shuffle after one of her rougher days at work, but when she’s calm and has the time to appreciate it, it can be a welcome advance.

(Does she need time to come down after work but then might be more receptive? Consider heading to the other room to do an impromptu change mid-day.)

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Do Her Least-Favorite Chore

What’s something that she always puts off? I mean, always. (For me, it’s always cleaning the shower. I absolutely hate doing it.) For her, it might be something else.

Take time out of your day to do that task for her – no praise or “orders” required. If you’re into femdom maid service, maybe that leads into you cleaning a few other things as well.

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Tips for DIY’ing your own Femdom Service

Think you might have some of your own ideas? Very awesome! Nobody knows your partner like you do – that’s why you’re with them. That being said, some of the most best-intentioned “surprise gifts” can go very, very poorly. Since we’re trying to avoid that, here are some of the things I suggest you think about before surprising your femdom with something:

Does it require effort on her part? If she needs to do something in order to make the surprise come to fruition, re-think that femdom service idea. Is it possible that you can take care of that aspect of the service femdom? Make the effort required on her part as small as possible.

Does it require upkeep on her part? You might have thought a plant or a pet was a great surprise, but unless she’s specifically asked for one, you’re just giving her something that requires more time and effort on her part. This can be really frustrating for a “gift” recipient.

What else is going on in her life? Is she busy preparing for a giant work conference at work – and to make her feel less stressed, you’re hoping to take her out to a multi-hour dinner? While the thought is sweet, you might find that she’s going to be mostly frustrated at being away from the work that she urgently needs to prep. The sweetest surprise femdom service can go poorly if not timed correctly.

Does she likes surprises – at all? If she’s the type that hates being surprised (I mean, most femdoms are Type A for a reason), you’ll want to be careful about large, elaborate surprises that interrupt her life flow. Choose smaller femdom service surprises – like getting the chores done or purchasing/getting her things that can be done on her own timeframe.

If you want to do something more elaborate, consider asking her schedule availability like: “Ma’am, I’d like to surprise us with something on Wednesday evening. It will take about two hours. Is that something that would work for you?” If she’s as protective of her schedule as many femdoms are, she’ll really appreciate you asking ahead of time. This also ensures she’ll be mentally present and excited for the service by the time it rolls around.

Is it sexual – and did she ask for it? It occasionally frustrates me that, when I do a search for “femdom service ideas”, the majority of the results are focused around femdom oral service or femdom ass service. The majority of your service ideas should not be sex-focused unless she specifically asked for that. Being “surprised” by being pushed into a type of sex they hadn’t really wanted at the time isn’t really much of a pleasant surprise.

(Note: This femdom service ideas article assumes the submissive is male-identifying in most of its pronoun use. I welcome [and love!] all femdom relationship genders, and I have a female sub of my own. For ease of understanding the points without needing to clarify constantly, though, the sub is always identified as male in this femdom advice article.)