There’s something really erotic to be said for kissing. Our faces are some of our most vulnerable spaces, and the lips and mouth are jam-packed full of nerve endings just waiting for pleasure. Ferns, from Domme Chronicles, even popularized the idea of “kissing dates” – entire meet-ups based just around making out. If you’re on that same “kissing is hot AF” level, these femdom kissing ideas might be exactly what you’re looking for.
I’m constantly surprised by how infrequently kissing is mentioned or shown in femdom spaces. If you look at femdom porn made for the female gaze, you’ll quickly see that the submissive’s mouth and face are featured constantly. From sucking on fingers to vulnerable gazes to delicious eye contact during cunnilingus, a submissive’s face (and what they can do with it!) is often the focus.
But just like in the vanilla world, when nakedness and intercourse is on the table, femdom kissing just, surprisingly, falls by the wayside.
I’d like to bring that back with some kinky femdom kissing ideas to infuse that erotically-charged power exchange energy into your play. So, here are some erotic ways to turn kissing into a femdom activity:
Orgasm on their Lap
Making out can be ridiculously hot. It’s amazing foreplay, and when done in the right situation, it can leave both of you absolutely desperate for an orgasmic release.
You can showcase your power differential with a partner by simply denying them that orgasmic release.
Crawling on top of their lap, enjoy your usual makeout session, complete with ridiculous amounts of erotic femdom kissing. Feel free to grind up against them, making it clear how much you’re really enjoying this and amping them up even further.
At a certain point, you can reach between your own legs to relieve some of that pent-up sexual energy, making them a front-row participant to your own masturbation session. As an added bonus, a vibrator or other sex toy can fit between your bodies here too.
You could also “force” them to do all of the manual labor for you, but this can be hit-or-miss if you’re still new to this partner.
While making out with them and squirming on their lap, you can bring yourself to orgasm, completely denying them any release after you’re feeling satisfied. After all, wasn’t watching you orgasm enough of a treat for them?
If you’re into teasing, enjoy this clothed as they’re forced to simply imagine how hot you look underneath your clothing.
Clothed Femdom, Naked Bottom to the Rescue!
You can instantly make any kiss feel deliciously femdom by simply changing the clothing situation.
If they’re completely naked while you’re still wearing all of your clothing, it can add an intense level of vulnerability that you wouldn’t expect.
As an added bonus, it leaves all parts of their body open for business and ready for your touch.
Just make sure to put down a towel or blanket on top of the surface you’re necking on. Making out can be surprisingly sweaty, and you may (or may not!) want to embarrass your naked submissive by making them see the giant sweat stain their body left on the furniture when you’re done.
Femdom Kissing Ideas: Be the “Book Boyfriend”
If you’ve been on TikTok, you know the “Book Boyfriend Lean” was a huge trend.
It is, essentially, just being physically assertive and using your size to intimidate and make someone feel “smaller”. When you do that without consent, it’s creepy AF, but with consent, it can come across as that passionate, erotic, “gotta have it now” vibe.
If you’re like many femdom couples, the femdom is statistically more likely to be shorter than their submissive. This means you probably aren’t going to be able to lean overtop of your submissive without, uh, a step stool. And step stools are useful tools but maybe not the “kinky domme” vibe you’re going for.
You have a few options here:
Use their “bits” to your advantage. Instead of aiming to look down on them, use the sensitivity of their “bits” to your advantage. Push them up against the wall (if you’re getting rough about it, always cradle behind their head with a hand to protect their head). Once there, lean in close, putting your hands on both sides of their body, right underneath their armpits, applying firm pressure inwards towards their chest to make them know they’re staying where you put them. Then press the front of one thigh ever-so-slightly in-between their thighs with gentle, upward pressure. If they have dangly bits, this can be a pretty big warning that you can easily apply more pressure (and pain ;) ) if desired. If they have non-dangly bits, this can actually be a great starting point for any grinding pleasure down the making out line.
Make them kneel. Push your submissive up against the wall, and apply firm downward pressure to their shoulders with a verbal “kneel” command. Once they’re there, you can “look down” on them all you want, using your hands to pull their chin upwards for making out as desired. (Don’t plan a full make-out session like this. Your back – and their neck – will get toasty with this pretty quickly.)
Femdom Kissing Ideas: Use Bondage
If you want to make any make-out session feel submissive for your partner, just pull out some bondage.
It’s amazing how quickly this works. Just binding up your partner’s wrists can instantly make the entire make-out session feel kinky. If you use something like an Under-the-Bed Restraint System to bind all of their limbs spread eagle to the bed, it’ll be pretty clear who’s in charge.
If you’re someone who loves the feel of another person’s hands on your body while making out, you don’t have to deprive yourself entirely. Consider binding one of their hands, leaving their other hand to explore your own body. Bonus points for clear communication that tells them you expect them to do the work of two hands with their single hand, and they had better impress you with it. ;)
Aim to Make Them Orgasm in their Pants
This might be a bit niche, but as someone who has a premature ejaculation fetish, my partner making a mess in their clothing is top tier porn for me.
If that’s the case for you too, you can intentionally set up your femdom kissing session to try to elicit that reaction.
There are a few ways to set yourself up for success:
- Deny them orgasm leading up to the BDSM scene. People are much more sensitive to stimulation when they’ve been denied orgasm. Consider barring them from orgasm for the week prior to your scene. Add in edging tasks to up the intensity a bit.
- Choose clothing that transfers sensations. If you’re trying to grind into your partner until they orgasm, make sure to choose clothing that makes the most of your efforts. Jeans, with zippers, can hurt either partner. Thin materials with no metal hardware can feel best.
- Bring a sex toy. There’s nothing wrong with adding sex toys to your make-out session. Require your bottom to put in a pleasurable internal toy before your make-out session to add extra hands-free stimulation.
- Pre-plan their stimulation. A very rare person can orgasm with no physical stimulation, but most people require penile/clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Plan your make-out session with that stimulation in mind. Will you grind on them? Will they grind on your thigh? How are they getting the necessary sensation to orgasm?
Make Out in New Spaces
I am an absolute slut for that passionate, “gotta have it now” sexual energy. There’s nothing that screams “I couldn’t wait” more than making out in spaces that aren’t the privacy of your bed or home.
So use that to your advantage. Simply lock lips in new spaces to make everything feel even more electrifying.
Since you’re here for kinky femdom kissing ideas, make this a space and time that you want. Push them up against the wall in the garage right after you get back from date night for a standing make-out session you may haven’t had in awhile. When you’re enjoying a cute shopping night on main street, pull them into a safe alleyway for some passionate smooching in-between stores. As soon as they park that car in a parking lot, pull their head towards yours, locking lips.
Make sure you know your submissive’s preferences well enough for this. For some, public displays are affection are very uncomfortable. If that’s the case, keep your new makeout spaces to areas with more privacy – like your car or a new spot in your home. (Exploring make-out spaces in a hotel room or AirBNB can also be a hot option for keeping it private.)
(Keep in mind your local laws. In most cases, if you’re simply making out, you’ll just be asked to stop or leave if it’s a problem. In most parts of the US, without nudity or moving onto sexual activity, it’s not “illegal” in its own right – though an asshole could charge with loitering if they really wanted to. If you’re a same-sex couple, this may come with additional risks for assault, however, depending on how progressive your area is.)
Femdom Kissing Ideas: Utilize a Sex Club
Have you been to a kink club or swinger’s club? If so, flirting and making out are tame behaviors there. If the idea of being in an erotically-charged atmosphere where it’s completely kosher to start making out if the mood strikes you, consider hitting up one of these locales.
The only thing you’ll want to check ahead of time are any given time limits or spaces designed just for intercourse. Equipment in these spaces is at a premium, and you don’t want to be hogging the sole California King bed (usually used for orgies) just because you didn’t know that was an unwritten rule.
In swinger’s clubs, if you want to go from chatting to making out in the social space, you may want to check how much is “allowed”. In order to keep the social area from devolving into rampant sex in every corner, some swinger’s clubs have rules about how much is allowed before you should consider going into the sex-specific spaces. So if the idea of making out to a handjob sounds hot, just double-check with the club monitors before you start.
If you don’t have access to a kink or swinger’s club, you might also consider an LGBTQ+ club or other sex-positive-leaning space. Especially late at night after people have been drinking, making out while pressed up against an out-of-the-way-wall might just be a standard activity for the space. Consider a scouting mission ahead of time to see what expected behavior is that late at night before you show up, guns-blazing, having anticipated a make-out session for the last three weeks. (Can you tell I’ve done been let down by exactly this?)
If you want an at-home option, consider hopping onto a camsite for free sex chat with a model. Enjoy the flirtation while the two of you can make-out or dirty talk, back and forth, with one of the people you find hottest in their directory. It can give you some of the “public play” vibes while still staying safely at home.
Deny Him Kisses
If you’re both into humiliation and degradation, this can be great.
The idea is that you’re going to command him to kiss parts of you that are “lesser than”. It’s up to you what that looks like in your dynamic, but for a lot of femdom couples, that’s probably going to be your feet or asshole.
Require them to do it for awhile. All the while, use your words to reinforce their “status”. Things like:
- You’re such a bottom feeder that your lips only deserve to touch my _____________.
- Awww, I never thought you’d enjoy kissing my ________ so much. Kinda seems like you enjoy being a disgusting little whore.
- That’s exactly where your mouth belongs.
- I hope you enjoy what you’re doing because bitches like you should be masters at it. Don’t worry. We’ll keep practicing until you can do it well.
When they’re done, act like you’re going to pull them in for a mouth kiss, but at the last minute, do a fake out, and exclaim you could never make out with someone whose mouth is as lowly as theirs. ;)
Explore Baby Birding
I’ve left this for last in our femdom kissing ideas because it really is a niche kink. If the idea of pre-chewed food into another person’s mouth is a squick for you, stop reading now.
You can really reinforce your power dynamic and make your bottom feel subservient with the baby birding kink. In it, you put some food into your own mouth, chew it up, and “make out” with them, transferring the pre-chewed food into their mouth.
If the idea of feeding your partner an entire meal this way sounds hot, have at it. I’m imagining this really hot scene where you go all-out cooking this beautiful, extravagant dinner. The table is set with candles, and it looks like this romantic, erotic dinner for the two of you. Only once they sit down to eat, they’re surprised with restraints that bind them to their own chair, and they’re forced to watch as you cut up and put a bite of the food on their plate into your mouth. You then make out with them, pushing the food into their mouth, “feeding” them that way. After a few repetitions of that, they’ll get the idea. ;)
If you’d rather something more playful, you don’t have to go quite so serious. Blindfold your partner and get an assortment of random foods they’re familiar with from your kitchen. Pop one of those foods into your mouth, and baby bird it to them. Their job is now to guess what you just had.
(This one can be a blast and give you some really wonderful facial expressions – especially if you intentionally fuck with the flavors. I’m talking about eating a slice of chocolate cake right before you do orange juice or weird things like that.)
Update: June 2025, April 2025, January 2025, October 2024.
