BDSM Scenes, Step-by-Step: Getting Ready for a Femdom Date

Lucky ducks! Today marks another installment of my BDSM Scenes Step-by-Step series. Today, we’re diving deep into a Getting Ready for a Femdom Date scene. I give you the basics of the scene, what you need to do to prep, why you’d want to do this scene, the step-by-step outline to make it happen, and some ideas about how to customize it with any niche kinks you have in mind.

I remember when I was new to identifying as a femdom. I knew I wanted to be in charge, but the idea of planning an entire scene and somehow having the mental space to still enjoy it was absolutely terrifying. I was in-charge of another person’s entire experience, AND they expected me to do a good job because I claimed I was good at being in charge. Gulp.

I remember doing SO many Google searches back then for every “femdom scene outline” permutation I could think of. Nothing.

I figured if I could somehow find a gameplan, I could manage to make the scene come to life. You know how it is: staring at a blank Word document is terrifying, but once you have an outline, you just kinda fill in the various sections as inspiration strikes. (I’ll have you know I wrote literally every other word of this article before typing in this introduction.)

Now that I’m a less-baby Domme, I’m trying to give back to the community in the way that I was dying to have when I was new.

Think of these BDSM scene outlines as your personal cheat sheet to a scene. It’s yours (like, to use, not for any commercial reselling or claiming as your own. You get it.)

But with that in mind, take out stuff that you don’t like. Add in stuff you do like. You’re still the femdom in charge here, and while I’m here to help, these scene outlines are ultimately about you and your partner having a great time.

So do that.

Now, let’s get into this Getting Ready for a Femdom Date scene.

This Femdom Date Scene is…

a great way to keep your submissive occupied and attentive while you otherwise need to get ready to head out.

Not only can this just be a fun way to flex your power or add some D/s before a date night, but it can also be a great tie-in for cuckolding dynamics. Your submissive will be there, watching and waiting, appreciating all of the effort it takes to look as gorgeous as you do.

This BDSM scene is light on sexual pleasure for your submissive, but that’s not a bad thing. The furniture in the bathroom doesn’t need to be pleasured, right?

What Do You Need for Getting Ready for a Femdom Date?

items to get ready for a date

You’ll need everything you need to get ready for your femdom date. That may include make-up, heels, clothing, jewelry, perfumes, lotions, or anything else. I just recommend having them all set out ahead of time. Not only does this help you focus more brain space on the scene itself, but the scene can be distracting, and I don’t want you to head out on your date without that chastity key necklace you planned on wearing. ;)

Optional Items to Really Bring this Scene to Life

• Padding for the Submissive’s Knees
• Bondage Board
• Humiliating Mouth Gag

(If you like the gag shown in the feature image, it’s the Humiliator Mouth Gag with Toilet Paper Attachment from MEO.de)

How Long Does It Take?

Well, how long does it take you to get ready?

This femdom scene outline is crafted to fit right alongside all of the tasks you need to do to look hot for a night out. For most femdoms, you’re probably looking somewhere in the 30 minutes to 2 hour range, but you know your prep better than I do.

I’d plan for this scene to add a bit of time to your usual “getting ready” time – especially if you choose to take the path that involves a nice orgasm for you. ;) That might take a bit longer than you usually plan for.

How Do You Prep for a Femdom Date?

Most of the prepwork for this scene is probably work you’d be doing anyway; you have to pull out your clothes, get your shoes ready, apply your make-up, etc.

I recommend getting all of your standard, getting-dressed items ready and accessible ahead of time. I’d love to make sure your brain isn’t worrying about the logistics of which dress to wear and is, instead, able to devote more time to teasing the human furniture you now have in the bathroom.

To prep specifically for the things within this scene, I’d recommend:

• A light bathroom clean. Make your submissive do it if you want. The submissive will be on their knees in low-traffic areas around your bathroom, and those areas probably have hair and dust on them.
• A specific clean of the toilet bowl. If you’re going to utilize the toilet bowl cleaner in this scenario, you may or may not want your partner’s face actually in a dirty toilet and then between your legs.
• Picking up a humiliation mouth gag if you plan on taking advantage of its versatility. It can add a whole lot to the scene.
• Creating a plan of what you want them to do while you’re gone if they’re staying home. You might reinforce their servant status by having a list of chores. You might encourage a high sex drive with mandatory porn viewing hours. The end goal here: reinforcing that you’re in charge of how they use their time, even when you aren’t around.

I also recommend some knowledge about your submissive and their physical limitations before we get ready for this femdom date. We’re especially concerned about the knees.

Step-by-Step Instructions for Getting Ready for a Femdom Date

Welcome to your step-by-step instructions to adding a femdom element to getting ready for a date – and potentially adding an extra orgasm for yourself while you’re at it. ;) These instructions are written by a femdom, for a femdom, to make it easier to bring this kinky scene to life.

1. Lay out all of the generic, getting-ready items you need for tonight’s date night. Ideally, your familiar, “getting ready” activities should take minimal brain power to devote more to your submissive partner.
2. Ensure your submissive is available and has the time for your scene. You will not feel super domme-ly if your submissive is antsy because he has a meeting in 20 minutes, so select a time when you both have the downtime to make this happen.
3. When you want to get ready, command your submissive into the bathroom. If you have a bondage board, restrain their ankles to the board to force them to stand outside of your shower. If you don’t, command them (utilizing that mental bondage!) to stand exactly where you placed them. Put a towel in their hand. Command them to stay exactly how you want them until you’re done bathing.
4. Step into your shower or bath, cognizant of your audience. Feel free to poke your head out and tease them with your naked body. If ignore kinks are your thing, simply ignore them entirely and sing in the shower. It’s up to you.
5. (Optional) If you have a dryer, when you’re almost done, I’m fond of commanding my submissive to go put the towel in the dryer and wait 3 minutes for it to warm up before bringing it to me. A warm towel fresh out of the shower is the best.  
6. When you’re done, command them to dry you off. Feel free to get fussy with the instructions if you want to sound domineering, or use gentle thankful tones if you don’t. Encourage them to linger on spots that feel nice to you.
7. When you feel dry enough to leave the shower, command them to bring anything you need to make that happen. (Like if you put your hair up for getting ready)
8. Once you’ve left the shower, require them to get onto their hands and knees at a spot of your choosing. You can also allow them to stand if there are body limitations. The important part is listening to your command (and the bondage board, if you have it, can add some eroticism here).
9. Slide a BDSM gag into their mouth. If you have a mouth gag meant for humiliating attachments, I love using that.
10. Once they have a gag in their mouth, choose something for them to do around the bathroom. They can be a towel holder, holding four or five towels in their mouth (caution: they’ll drool on the top one). If your gag has a humiliating attachment like mine, you can slide a roll of toilet paper on their mouth and require them to simply sit there and hold that. The end game is that they’re simply quiet furniture, under your command, as you get ready. Other ideas include:
    • DJ. Force them to simply press the “Forward” button on any music you don’t want to hear.
    • Travel agent. Force them to look up the menu where you’re going, reading it to you aloud, so you know what options you’ll have to order.
    • Make-up table. Make them hold their hands flat to hold upcoming make-up supplies until you’re ready to use them.
    • Bathroom cleaner. Reinforce their lowly status by forcing them to clean the bathroom while you’re getting ready. (Just avoid any strong-scented chemicals that might push you out too!)
11. Once your submissive is set up, start getting ready. You can make this as drawn-out or as succinct as you’d like, and I’d guess that your time table will make some of that choice for you. While getting ready, throw in some easy interactions with your submissive if you aren’t going the ignore kink route:
    • Talk about how excited you are for your date.
    • Spend more time naked than you usually would.
    • Intentionally aim your body/butt towards their face while getting ready.
    • Allow them to have an opinion. Ask them which make-up color looks better. Try on two separate lingerie sets and ask their opinion. (It’ll be a muffled response, but y’know, they should be grateful to be included).
    • Take a break and pleasure them for a little bit while you muse about things out loud.
    • If it fits within your cuckolding dynamic, take a picture of your submissive and tell them you’re sending it to your bull to really reinforce the power differential.
12. (Optional) Once you’re mostly ready, there’s nothing stopping you from “using” your sub for oral pleasure. First, remove the gag (or keep the gag in place and add a dildo to it).
13. (Optional) Force them to kneel between your legs, placing their head at an upwards angle to orally pleasure you. Your submissive will likely find it hot if you continue to “get ready” (we both know you’re just pretending. Getting oral sex and applying eyeliner is a disaster waiting to happen), but definitely give that up and focus on the sensations as soon as you want.
14. (Optional) To add more kink, add bondage to your submissive. I don’t recommend binding their hands unless you know they won’t need to use them; we’re not about trying to make your pleasure worse here!
15. (Optional) Continue to enjoy yourself until you’re ready to be done, or ride out the sensations until you have an orgasm. Feel free to verbally reiterate that they aren’t getting any orgasms out of this; it’s all about you and your big night out. ;)
16. (Optional) Return your submissive to their waiting post, or require them to wait somewhere else.
17. When you’re ready to go, I recommend taking a seat somewhere comfortable and forcing your submissive to put your shoes or heels on for you. Not only does this make you feel like royalty, it’s a very subservient position – even if your submissive doesn’t have a foot fetish.
18. When you’re ready to walk out the door, give them the commands you already thought up earlier if they aren’t coming with you. What are they expected to do while you’re gone?
19. And with that, you’re ready to have a great night out! ;)

Add-On Fun When Getting Ready for a Femdom Date

You can make this BDSM scene as niche and kink-specific as you want to go. Here are some ideas to add specific kinks or activities into the scene whenever you’re feeling them:

• Wear a strap-on harness and dildo while getting ready. You can always choose to take it off before you head out the door for your date (or not), but the visual can be extremely hot for submissives into pegging.
• Place your submissive into their fetish clothing of choice before you start the scene. An adult diaper can ensure your submissive doesn’t need to interrupt you with their silly little biological needs. Lingerie can make them prettier to look at in the corner.
• If you’re willing to tolerate some discomfort, you can wear your high heels throughout this scene. Yes, it’ll be annoying, but yes, it’ll also make your ass look amazing.
• For foot fetishists, you can require some oral attention on your feet before or after your shower. If you want something more functional, allow your foot fetishist to apply lotion to your legs and feet after your shower; just make sure they go light on the foot lotion if you’re wearing heels.
• Chastity kink? Once you’re done with all of this and about to head out the door, realize that you “forgot” to lock up your submissive for safety before you head out. You can even segway right into my chastity BDSM scene right after this one before you leave.
• For those of you with bathroom slave kinks or menstruation kinks, this scene is ripe with opportunities – especially if you’ve had a lot of water. You can figure it out. ;)
• If your submissive is into gooning or edging, force them to pleasure themselves while you’re getting ready. Adding insult to injury, if they’re someone who uses lube to masturbate, force them to wash it off every time they need to do something for you. (This can also be great for off-handed jerk off instructions if you’re someone who likes making your submissive feel like a somewhat-annoying afterthought when you’re busy. I do sometimes.)

Cautions

There’s not a whole lot of potential risks here. Your biggest “risk” is just general discomfort from your submissive. Standing or kneeling in one position for long periods of time can just be plain uncomfortable. If you know your submissive has kneeling or standing injuries, you can always command them to bring a chair for them to sit on in the bathroom to help alleviate any pain. (A chair makes for some fun potential bondage opportunities, too, as you bind their body to the chair!)

Make sure you also move carefully when walking around on any wet or slippery surface.