Pegging can be an amazingly orgasmic activity – but usually just for the receiver. Unlike penetrating with a biological penis, a dildo just, simply, doesn’t have nerve endings. (In fact, a lot of pegging givers usually state the “psychological enjoyment” as their reason for their pegging kink). But does it have to be that way? Can a woman orgasm from pegging?
Turns out, yep, it’s possible. I’m not going to say it’s easy, but with some modifications and experiments to your favorite pegging positions, it is possible for a woman to orgasm from pegging. Those odds increase dramatically once you start exploring the options a thigh harness offers.
But I’m getting ahead of myself here: let’s talk about how to help a woman orgasm from pegging with this list of tips to explore.
(Author’s Note: This article can be used for anyone who has a vulva and wants pegging to be more pleasurable. Unfortunately, I am beholden to the search engine gods if I want people to be able to find this information – which means I have to use the language that the majority of people are searching for. However, all of this advice can be used for anyone of any gender identification if they’re looking to add stimulation to a vulva.)
How to Help a Woman Orgasm from Pegging
So, let’s dive in! There are two major erogenous zones near the strap-on harness on a vulva-owner: the clitoris and the vagina.
What your particular partner enjoys is unique to your partner, but in general, stimulating one of these two areas is going to be the recipe for making pegging physically stimulating for your partner.
For me, personally, I lean towards clitoral stimulation; that’s what gets me to orgasm. But every person is unique, and your harness wearer might prefer both clitoral and vaginal stimulation to get to that pegging orgasm.
To make it easy, let’s split up my advice based on what area you’re looking to pleasure:
If They Like Clitoral Stimulation…
The person wearing the harness would really like some clitoral stimulation during pegging. Here’s what I’d recommend:
Ensure the Dildo Lines Up
Strap-on harnesses for the hips offer a wide variety of rises. Some will make the dildo sit up by the belly button while others will have the dildo sitting closer to the vaginal entrance.
To help the woman orgasm during pegging with clitoral stimulation, your sweet spot is a dildo that sits right on top of the clitoris. This may require shopping around or adjusting the straps of your current strap-on harness to help everything line up. (My Spareparts Joque sits right over the clitoris for me, but that may not be the same for your body.)
Keep in mind that direct clitoral stimulation may be too much for some bodies. Discuss what’s best with them and/or look for a strap-on harness that can be adjusted slightly upwards to sit on the mons pubis (fleshy, squishy bit right above the clitoris) for indirect clitoral pleasure if direct clitoral pleasure is too much.
Depending on your strap-on harness, this might be as simple as tightening the between-the-thigh straps on the harness you already own. For example, if I fully loosen the thigh straps on my Joque, I can wear the dildo higher on my tummy. If I tighten the straps and pull the back of the harness high above my ass, the front of the harness gets pulled snugly into the right spot for me. (The feature photos for my Pegging Positions article can show you how I prefer to wear it for clitoral pleasure.)
Get a Good Dildo Base
If we’re depending on the base of that dildo to provide the clitoral stimulation, the stimulation will only be as good as the base of the dildo. (Checks out, right?)
After all, we want the base of that dildo to press, regularly, into the clitoris to provide enough clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm.
This is another aspect that can be very distinct to the person. How much direct stimulation does the person want with the base of their dildo? Do they prefer a wide, broad base that will give them firm, palm-sized pressure on the entire vulva? Do they prefer a slender, fits-between-the-labia base that will touch the clitoris directly?
Especially if your harness-wearer is new to kink, they may not have the answer right away. When most of us shop for dildos, we rarely shop with the idea of “how pleasurable is the base?” in mind.
In general, though, look for dildos that offer some sort of base that could pleasure a clitoris when worn in a harness. That means you want a base that’s at least flat and not too wide to comfortably fit between the thighs.
If you’re going for gold here, consider looking specifically at dildos made for pegging stimulation. I’m talking about toys like the Wet for Her Fusion or Fuze dildos. These dildos don’t have a standard base; they have a base specifically crafted for clitoral stimulation when worn in a strap-on harness.
Most couples will want to steer clear of suction cup dildo bases. The concave design means there’s very little material pressing firmly up against the body during use. However, if your wearer finds that any pressure from the base of a dildo is unpleasantly intense, using a suction cup dildo can reduce dildo contact. (See how that “personal preferences” thing works out here?)
Experiment with Dildo Base Coverings to Help a Woman Orgasm During Pegging
Unfortunately, a dildo base happens to be connected to a dildo itself. This means that the perfect dildo base for the vulva-owner may be attached to a less-than-perfect dildo shaft that the receiving partner isn’t really fond of.
This is where dildo base coverings come in. These “covers” wrap around the base of your standard dildo base to change up the sensations.
Okay, yeah, that’s hard to visualize. Let me show you instead.
See? In the example above, the BumpHer base cover is wrapped around the base of a standard Tantus dildo. It instantly changes the shape of the base of the Tantus dildo to something else while leaving the shaft of the toy entirely the same.
This lets you both have your cake – and eat it too! The receiving partner can continue to love their favorite dildo shaft’s sensations while the harness-wearer can customize the base to their own pleasure needs with a BumpHer.
Try New Sex Positions
Choosing a sex position is an important part of pegging – even more so if we’re hoping to provide clitoral stimulation through pegging.
That’s because you need to have a pegging sex position that provides that stimulation.
If you choose a sex position where the harness wearer is always pulling the dildo away from the body, they’re never going to get stimulation from the base of the dildo. The dildo is simply not touching the clitoris. Point A is never touching Point B.
However, if you choose a sex position that has the harness-wearer pressing their clitoris into the dildo to “grind” the dildo into the receiver’s butt with every thrust, they’re going to get a whole lot more stimulation!
For me, personally, the best clit-to-dildo stimulation I possibly get is with the Grand Slam position, but I spend a lot of time (and thousands of words) talking about which pegging sex positions are best for this stimulation in my pegging sex positions article if you want to broaden your options.
Get a Strap-On Harness with Bullet Vibrator Attachments
You can also add vibrations. Especially if the harness-wearer regularly orgasms with vibrators, adding a bit of vibration to the entire experience can be a great way to help a woman orgasm from pegging.
To easily do this, some strap-on harnesses offer built-in “pockets” within the harness. These slender pockets are meant to be used alongside a bullet vibrator to instantly add vibrations to the dildo and strap-on wearer.
Pay attention to where the bullet vibrator pockets are located. While all vibrations are awesome, some strap-on harness bullet vibrator pockets may be primarily designed to vibrate the dildo – and not the harness wearer’s clitoris. If the bullet vibrator pocket is located closer to the dildo – or on the receiver-facing side on a plushy, padded harness, the vibrator may primarily stimulate the receiving partner – not the wearer.
And don’t forget to pick a powerful bullet vibrator if clitoral orgasm is the end goal. My go-to is the We-Vibe Tango X – though I prefer my original Tango (not X) I owned before it was discontinued. It’s the perfect size to fit into bullet vibrator pockets and probably the strongest bullet vibe I’ve ever found.
If your strap-on harness is woefully short in bullet vibrator pockets, BumpHer actually has you covered there as well. Some of their dildo base covers actually offer a bullet vibrator hole. If that’s your situation, consider adding a dildo base cover – and then tossing a bullet vibrator into it! – for double the new sensations.
Get a Strap-On Harness Without a Plushy Pad
Especially if you have an entry-level strap-on harness, your strap-on harness may have come with a large, giant pad that sits underneath the dildo. These pads are designed to cushion the dildo base to reduce bruising or discomfort from the wearer during strap-on sex.
However, this “cushion” also happens to cushion the clitoral sensations from the dildo. This means whatever sensations happen won’t be quite as direct as if the giant padding wasn’t there.
If you’re both having difficulty getting enough clitoral stimulation during strap-on sex, consider looking for a harness that doesn’t have this plushy pad.
You can upgrade to something feature-packed or look for something minimalistic on the beginner end of the spectrum.
Spread the Labia
If they aren’t getting enough clitoral stimulation, consider spreading the labia while getting into your strap-on sex position. Depending on how fleshy the outer and inner labia area is, simply spreading them apart – to allow the dildo base to come in direct contact with the clitoris – can make a world of difference.
Be careful doing this if the vulva-owner isn’t already turned on, though! This direct contact with the clitoris can be intense – and painfully so if the person isn’t already very turned on.
Add a Vibrator Under the Harness
Especially if you both like pegging sex positions that keep your hands busy, it can be hard to add extra clitoral stimulation in the middle of pegging.
But that’s why hands-free vibrators can provide a bit of help.
While it’s definitely easier to enjoy internal, vaginal stimulation with a hands-free vibrator, there are a few options that could provide clitoral vibrations underneath a strap-on harness without too much involvement of the hands.
- Lovense Ferri panty vibrator (uses a magnet to fasten onto a pair of undies)
- We-Vibe Moxie panty vibrator (uses a magnet to fasten onto a pair of undies)
- Adrien Lastic Pan-T Vibrator (uses a thin elastic harness to fasten it onto the body)
- Wildflower Enby 2 (could use the snugness of a harness to hold it against the body)
I will say that I’ve had minimal success with this method. I find that the vibrator usually slides out of place, ends up providing too much pressure and ends up being painful, or simply doesn’t respond to remote control commands.
But I know some femdoms have made it work for them, so I want to put it out there as an option.
If She Likes Vaginal Stimulation
While clitoral stimulation is most “popular” for getting to orgasm, some people love vaginal stimulation too. Let’s talk about ways to make a woman orgasm from pegging if they love vaginal stimulation:
Experiment with Vaginal Egg Vibrators
You’ve probably seen the egg vibrators; they look like little oval eggs with tails that can be inserted into the vagina. The most “famous” example is the Lovense Lush 3, but you’ve probably seen other kinds too.
Simply find the egg vibrator that does it for your harness wearer, and slide it in before they put on the strap-on harness and dildo.
I, personally, recommend an egg vibrator that includes remote control. I’m partial to the Lush 3 because it has cell phone control and stupid-powerful vibrations, but it’s really up to you. Remote control can help you control the vibration intensity without interrupting the pegging, though. If the harness-wearer could simply use a bit more power mid-pegging to make that orgasm happen, a remote control will mean it can be easily delivered.
If you don’t have access to an egg vibrator and are on a tight budget, you could try using kegel exercisers during pegging. It won’t provide the same sensations, but the small, additional feeling of “fullness” may be pleasurable for the vulva-owner.
Use a Strapless Strap-On Dildo
Yes, I place this one as lesser importance than using egg vibrators instead. Why? Getting everything to perfectly line up with a strapless strap-on dildo is a whole lot harder than simply sliding in an entirely different sex toy. Not only are strapless strap-on dildos heavy (which tends to make them feel a little more unwieldy while using them), but finding a strapless strap-on dildo that’s the perfect size for the recipient AND the perfect size for the wearer can be a tall order.
That’s why using a separate toy (like that vaginal egg vibrator) can be a better solution.
However, if you’re into using a strapless strap-on dildo, make sure you pair it with a strap-on harness. Even the most powerful of vagina ninjas are going to find that carrying a multi-pound object by the strength of their kegel muscles is pretty distracting – and “distracting” is a verb that leads to orgasm.
Using your strapless strap-on dildo with a strap-on harness means you both still share in the same sensations with the same, shared sex toy while simultaneously minimizing the likelihood the dildo will slide out of the body.
Attach a Dildo to Your Harness Strap
This one isn’t as streamlined as your other options, but it’s an option, and I want to make sure you know about it to help a woman orgasm during pegging.
If you want to get creative – and you’re using a thong-style strap-on harness with a single strap between the thighs that covers the vaginal entrance, you can find a way to attach a dildo to the strap-on harness.
As of right now, I don’t know of any body-safe strap-on harnesses that feature this “dildo” built-in. That’s probably for the best – why have a built-in option when you could have the ability to choose what dildo would feel best for each partner?
But if you want to get a bit creative, you can probably find a way to attach a dildo onto the harness for the wearer to experience while simultaneously using their own dildo on the receiver as well. As far as I’m aware, there isn’t a simple, pre-made option made for vaginal strap-on use, but you could get a bit of sturdy material and make an attachable pad similar to what this butt plug harness uses.
(And if you know of a pre-made option, please let me know!)
Best All-Around Practices to Help a Woman Orgasm During Pegging
Are none of the BDSM gear suggestions working quite as expected? Unfortunately, adding pleasure to the strap-on harness wearer can require making some changes during the play itself. You might need to change something you’ve honestly never thought about changing! (Yayyyyy. So fun. /sarcasm)
If the above tips haven’t quite helped a woman orgasm from pegging, consider making some additional changes with these as well:
Experiment With New Strap-On Harnesses
Did you know that the hip harness isn’t the only type of strap-on harness out there? There are thigh harnesses, chest harnesses, face harnesses, and even foot harnesses! If she’s having difficulty getting pleasure from the activity, the fact that all of the activity is going on right on top of her vulva (and blocking it off from anything else) is probably not helping.
That’s why I’d recommend swapping over to a thigh harness (or another type of harness. I just find a thigh harness the easiest). This only moves the orgasmic action a few inches over, but it frees up access to the vulva and clitoris. This means the strap-on harness wearer can use a vibrator or their hands to add simultaneous pleasure to themselves while pegging their bottom at the same time. It’s a win-win for everybody involved!
Get a Good Harness
And once you have the strap-on harness style you want to use, invest in a good strap-on harness. Shitty strap-on harnesses are the bane of most pegger’s experiences. They don’t provide a secure, snug fit, may be uncomfortable, may let the dildo pull away from the body, and may not offer some of the high-end features (like the dildo pockets) that you might need to experience some of this pleasure.
My absolute favorite strap-on harness has now gone through over ten years (a full decade!) of regular use. A cheaper option – which would still be about 1/2 the cost! – would not have lasted that long.
It can really be worth it to upgrade or invest in a good strap-on harness option. You want a harness that makes the wearer feel good about themselves – and what they’re doing – because that lets them free up mental space for getting off.
Reach Under the Hip Harness
This one isn’t my favorite, but I’ve done it, and it can work for you too.
Sometimes, the stimulation from the dildo and hip harness just isn’t doing it. When that’s the case, I’ll loosen up the harness so I have enough space to reach underneath it. Then, I’ll slide my hand between the base of the dildo and my body to be able to touch myself (or use a sex toy!) to orgasm.
Depending on the sex position, this can be difficult, impossible, or simply uncomfortable. When he’s riding on top of me, for example, it’s workable, but it presses the base of the dildo into my hand with his entire body weight. It’s definitely not comfortable, but it’ll get the job done when other options have failed me that day.
Expect it to interrupt or change your sex position and its angle, but you might even be able to use it to your advantage. For example, if you’re someone who loves pressure, if you make enough space to use a wand massager underneath the harness, the weight of your partner’s body pressing on top of that wand massager could push it harder against your body for more stimulation.
Talk About Her Wants and Needs
Have you both talked about what the harness-wearer wants – or needs – in order to orgasm from pegging?
If you’ve both been focused on using strapless strap-on dildos because it sounded hot to the receiver – but the harness-wearer honestly just finds them irritating – you’re probably not any closer to helping the woman orgasm during pegging.
Instead, ensure you both have an open, honest conversation about what the harness-wearer needs to orgasm. For me, it’s a lot of foreplay ahead of time, a sex position I’m familiar with and doesn’t require a lot of balance, and a lot of clitoral stimulation with firm pressure. I, personally, find vaginal penetration distracting during pegging, so I’d want to be open about the fact that vaginal penetration might detract – instead of help – for me.
This conversation should also include the fact that having an orgasm during pegging isn’t always going to happen. No matter how pleasurable any sexual activity is, guaranteeing an orgasm isn’t viable. I’m a woman who can orgasm during pegging – but it’s certainly not something that happens every time we peg – even when I really really want it to. Sometimes my body, the day, or the position just isn’t going to lend itself well to an orgasm – and that’s okay. We just swap to giving me an orgasm afterwards.
Experiment with New Positions
We talked about the magic of sex positions earlier for clitoral stimulation, but honestly, sex positions matter for more than just physical stimulation.
i.e.: Is this sex position difficult for the harness-wearer to hold? Are they unable to relax into stimulation because they’re so focused on keeping their quads tight? Are they worried about hurting you – or constantly concerned about the dildo sliding out? Does this sex position make them feel unsexy – or make them feel bad about their body?
If your harness wearer is unable to relax and focus on feeling the sensations you’ve added, they’re not likely to orgasm. I don’t know of anyone who can easily achieve orgasm while they’re trying not to fall off the bed in a precariously balanced sex position.
Prioritize Her Pleasure Before and After Pegging
Do you know what makes it easier to help a woman orgasm from pegging? Being turned on. Like most sexual activities, lots and lots of foreplay ahead of time can really be the catalyst for the orgasm you’re looking for.
Instead of focusing on pegging as the “gotta-get-to-it” main event, consider meandering your way through lots of foreplay ahead of time. I’m very partial towards other femdom activities that feel like a good preface for the pegging to come, but any activity that pleasures the harness-wearer is a good way to get you both turned on and craving that pegging.
You also can prioritize her pleasure after you’re done. I know your goal is to help a woman orgasm during pegging, but there’s nothing that says that you can’t have that orgasm afterward! If the pegging itself is pleasurable for the harness-wearer (but not orgasmic!), you can always treat it as super-hot foreplay for further sexual play after the pegging!
If you’re someone who wants minimal interruption, consider picking a strap-on harness that allows access to the vulva for easy transitioning after the pegging as well. As I’m usually very particular about keeping things clean, we’ll usually strip off the harness and dildo and simply move onto different activities, but your preference may not be mine.
Remember: pegging is supposed to be a fun sexual activity for both partners. If the harness-wearer isn’t getting any pleasure (including an orgasm, if that’s their preference!) before, during, or after the activity, they’re not going to agree to do the activity for very long. The receiver may not be turned on after pegging is over (especially if they had an orgasm themselves), but you should still take the time to ensure your partner receives the pleasure they want. There’s an unfortunate trend in pegging that is hyper-focused on the receiver’s pleasure instead of ensuring this is an enjoyable activity for both partners. Since you’re here in this article, you’re on the right track. Keep it up.
Ensure It’s Pleasurable for the Receiver
Part of the enjoyment of any sexual encounter is the knowledge that it will feel pleasurable – and not unintentionally painful – to the recipient. If the harness-wearer can mentally relax into the experience without fear of hurting their partner, they can better focus on their own physical sensations.
You can make that happen in a few ways:
- Have lots of open communication. Can she trust the receiving partner to speak up if it doesn’t feel great? Does she trust the receiving partner to know their body enough to provide feedback to help pegging feel pleasurable for the receiver?
- Use penetration buffers. If your dildo regularly goes too deep and hurts the receiver, using something as simple as penetration buffers (like the OhNuts) can keep that from happening. That way, the receiver can focus on doing movements that feel pleasurable to themselves without worrying about accidentally going too deep and hurting their partner.
Remember: the harness-wearing partner has zero – I mean, zero sensation in their dildo. This can be a hard concept for some receiving partners to wrap their head around – especially if they have a biological penis they’ve been penetrating others with their entire lives. This detachment from the harness-wearer’s “penis” can provide a lot of anxiety about where it is, how it’s feeling to a partner, and what movements are needed to keep it “in”.
This anxiety can be, well, anxiety-inducing for the harness-wearer. As we all know, anxiety is not the best ingredient for helping a woman orgasm from pegging.
So any methods you have to reduce that anxiety – whether that be through familiarity with pegging, penetration buffers, open communication, new positions, and more – will make it more likely that you and your partner can add pleasure for the harness wearer.
Start (or End!) with an Orgasm
If none of these are providing the “results” either of you would like, consider separating her orgasm from pegging. There’s, literally, no rulebook that states that the harness wearer “must” orgasm while giving a pegging.
Honestly, there’s a lot of moving pieces during pegging. Not only is she moving her body in a way that may not be familiar, but she’s in charge of the angle, dealing with cardiovascular demands, and trying to figure out how to add pleasure to areas that aren’t directly stimulated during the act. (Unlike a biological penis which feels surrounded in sensation as soon as it’s slid into something.)
Instead, consider giving her an orgasm before or after pegging. Especially if she’s multi-orgasmic, orgasms before or after the pegging are more likely to have the time, space, and relaxation she needs to enjoy those multiple orgasms.
If the receiving partner is worried they won’t be horny enough to want to engage in more sexual activity after they’ve cum during pegging, prioritize starting your play session with pleasure and orgasm(s) for the harness wearer. This way, everybody can come away from your pegging feeling satisfied.
Learn More about Pegging
Intrigued and want to take your pegging pleasure to even higher heights? These articles might have the answers you’re looking for:
- Best Pegging Positions for Beginners
- How to Get a Huge Dildo into a Harness
- How to Pick Your Perfect Strap-on Harness
- Why I Prefer Thigh Dildo Strap-on Harnesses
- How to Keep from Making a Pegging Poop Mess
- Femdom Audio Education: Plus-Size Pegging Tips
