Turned on by the idea of sleeping in bondage? But not really sure how to sleep in bondage?
Well, you’re in the right place! Let’s talk about why it’s hot, the safety concerns, and some fun ways to make it part of your routine whether you’re solo or partnered.
Why Are People Turned on by Sleeping in Bondage?
If you have the time and are doing it “right”, we spend about a third of our lives sleeping. (And if you do, I’m jealous of your sleep schedule.) No wonder the idea of doing kinky shit in our sleep comes up; we’re already there so much anyway!
Like everything else in the world of kink, the reasons people are turned on by sleeping in bondage are as unique as the people themselves. Some of the most common reasons include:
Ownership: We have to sleep anyway; it’s a biological need. Just like workout control or food restriction, adding bondage to sleep can be another way to show ownership over another human being on either side of the slash. Even a basic need for sleep isn’t under their control! In serious, edge play scenarios, this may also include constantly waking up or disturbing the bottom’s sleep.
Physical Restriction: I don’t know about you, but I roll around a lot when I sleep. Adding bondage means anytime a person wakes up, they’re going to feel the snug pull of restriction when they try to readjust. Some people find the inability to physically move themselves how they want erotic.
A Period of Vulnerability: We’re unable to defend ourselves or speak up for ourselves when we’re sleeping. Adding a layer of bondage to that adds even more vulnerability. The idea of being this helpless in front of another person can be a serious sensual trigger.
A Plot Point: Sleeping and taking a nap is pretty much a universal thing; we all do it. This can make it a really great fit for roleplay scenarios. A mischievous character can come in and add bondage to another sleeping person.
Extended Scenes: Sometimes, sleeping in bondage isn’t the actual focus of the scene or kink itself, but simply, a tool to extend other kinky activities. If you and your partner spent all night building up the erotic energy for a weekend-long scene, you can continue that energy by adding a bit of bondage overnight. While the people involved may not be turned on by kinky sleeping itself, the continuation of the erotic energy can make bondage sleeping feel sexy.
Segue Into Other Kinks: Sleeping in bondage can also pair itself well with other kinks. Since nocturnal erections are a thing, chastity can add even more restriction. Since many people wake up to pee, omorashi and adult diapers pair well with it. Kinksters into consensual-non consent and ravishment may also find this to be a really fantastic fit.
While being turned on by sleeping in bondage isn’t going to be as universal as, say, getting a Naughty America Discount and browsing porn, it’s surprisingly common in the world of kink!
Sleeping in Bondage: The Big Safety Talk
I know it’s easy to skip over this section. Don’t do it.
The world of BDSM play is full of all sorts of risks – and honestly, in the scheme of things, sleeping in bondage is relatively light on the risk profile scale.
But it does still carry some risk. That is, we’re, quite literally, unconscious while we sleep. There are two really big areas of safety concern when learning how to sleep in bondage:
- Environmental Factors
- On-Person Factors
Environmental Safety Concerns
The world keeps moving while you’re sleeping. (It’s easy to forget it, but that’s some main-character energy right there).
But that, essentially, means that any household disaster can happen while you’re asleep. Does something short out and catch on fire? Is there an intruder? Does your partner wake up with chest pains and you need to call 911? Does the tornado siren go off and you need to move your ass – fast – to the basement? (The latter two have woken me up mid-sleep, and I’m barely 30.)
This means that any potential bondage for sleep solutions you find need to allow you out of your bondage – and relatively fast. If you’re someone who really wants to ensure you’re as safe as possible, this may also look like laying out your clothing and other items you need just in case of an emergency. This will help minimize the time you “lose” by taking time to get out of your restraints.
And remember: in many circumstances, it may be best to just deal with the disaster now – and figure out the bondage problem later. If you’re bound to the bed, you can still call 911 and talk on speakerphone. If your wrists are bound, you can still get your ass to the basement or front yard – and deal with getting out of the cuffs later. Emergency personnel has seen a whole lot worse than your bondage, I promise, and they’d rather your bondage cuffs than dead bodies.
On-Person Safety Concerns
When you’re awake and alert, if you notice your hand feeling a bit fuzzy, you’ll simply move it or request the cuff be removed. That isn’t an option when you’re sleeping.
This can make it “easy” to unintentionally impinge a nerve – especially if you aren’t using the softer cuffs we talk about later on in this article. You also can easily put a limb to sleep or reduce circulation. All of those can have cumulative, damaging effects if you continue to do it over and over.
If you’re sleeping in full bondage, you also have to consider the temperature. Excess sweating can leave you at risk for skin rashes or infections where the cuffs are – not to mention a crappy night’s sleep. If you’re sleeping next to an unbound partner, the warmer temperature needed for their comfort might be much-too-warm to keep your own, bound body at a comfortable temperature.
While not necessarily fatal, we also have to consider the risk to our physical health when sleeping in bondage. That is, will sleeping in bondage impact our quality and quantity of sleep?
Especially when you’re brand new to sleeping in bondage, you can expect it to disrupt your sleep. You’re probably doing it because you think it’s hot, so you’re going to wake up aroused and extra-aware of the bondage sensations. It’s all very new, so there’s no way you’re going to simply ignore all of it.
If you’re a seasoned pro, though, it might not be about the horny or the novelty; the physical accouterments of bondage may just, honestly, not be all that comfortable to sleep in. Most of us have spent years of our lives with the ability to freely toss and turn while we’re sleeping. Having that yanked from us can easily bring us out of our slumber as we try to get comfortable again.
All of these can interrupt your sleep. A shitty night’s sleep isn’t the end of the world, but it’s something that should be planned for and expected when planning for sleeping in bondage – especially if you expect this to be a long-term arrangement. To reduce the impact on your health, ensure you’re really ready to sleep – and don’t do activities that give you a bad night’s sleep in the first place. (I’m looking at you, evening coffee and alcohol.)
Selecting Sleeping in Bondage Options with Safety in Mind
With those safety points in mind, here is what you should be optimizing when selecting bondage for napping:
It Should Be Easily Escapable
The bondage option you choose should be very easily escapable by a wearer who is half-asleep. This leaves you with a slim – but workable – range of options. You’ll likely want to stick to Velcro-fastening cuffs.
In an ideal world, this person should be able to escape the cuffs themselves with no additional help required. They’ll need to if their partner is incapacitated for some reason.
For optimal safety, no locks should ever be used. Not only do they provide firm, rigid objects that can create uncomfortable pressure if you lay on them, but they also require unlocking to easily escape. In a low-lit bedroom, keys can easily get knocked to the ground and impossible to find in an emergency.
It Should Be Comfortable and Low-Pressure
It’s to impossible check for circulation issues while you’re asleep. Any bondage method you choose should be snug (so it doesn’t move to undesired spots) but also soft, broad (more diffused pressure), and unable to easily tangle with something else.
This means that any tethers, if used, should be relatively snug with no way to accidentally wrap around a limb or neck.
Ideally, It Shouldn’t Fasten Someone to a Hard Point
In case of emergency, your bound partner should be able to get the fuck out – and fast. If they’re locked to the wall with a padlock, they have to find the key, make it to the lock, and unlock themselves.
Fastening someone to a hard point also requires something to fasten them there – like a tether, chain, or leash. This long lead can unintentionally wrap around someone while they’re sleeping and do unexpected damage.
While picking out options for how to sleep in bondage, try to keep your ideas to options that will remain only on the person – and won’t involve furniture or other objects.
It Should Be Done Consciously
How does sleeping in bondage affect your sleep? It’s okay if it gives you a subpar night’s sleep – but that does mean that you should only be doing it on rare occasions and when it’s worth it to you. Recognize that it takes a toll on your body, and even when it sounds hot, avoid doing it when your body needs to heal or you have upcoming important events. (The weekend of a kink conference is not the time.)
This also means being aware of your next day’s activities. Avoid doing anything mentally taxing or where being drowsy can be downright deadly (like a long day of driving). It’s all part of responsible sleeping in bondage.
Plan for Pee
Do you pee in the middle of the night? The people I’ve played with range from almost never to “1-4 times a night”. I’m guessing most of us fall somewhere in that spectrum, and holding a full bladder is not conducive to good sleep.
While less of a “safety” concern, this is a practical one: how is the person sleeping in bondage going to pee? If the answer is “they won’t”, they probably won’t be doing much sleeping, so keep that in mind.
Your other options include:
- An easy way to detach themselves from bondage to go pee
- Waking up their partner for permission to remove the bondage to go pee
- Covering the bed in a waterproof mattress protector with towels; be careful if they have sensitive skin as sitting in cold wetness all evening can be a recipe for rashes
- Using an adult diaper
- Using a catheter
Intentionally reduce liquid intake for hours before bed to help prevent multiple bathroom trips. Even then, it still may happen. Have a plan in mind that meets the goal of your scene.
Sleeping in Bondage: My Simple Recommendation
Hey, it ain’t fancy, but it’s cheap – and it works.
I honestly just recommend a pair of simply velcro bondage cuffs that attach only to one another. Unlike almost everything else in the world of kink, this is one spot where your best solution is, honestly, probably one of the cheapest ones.
We use a pair of the Sportsheets Sports Cuffs, and we have for over a literal decade.
You’re looking for cuffs that:
- Can easily be removed by the person wearing them with no additional help
- Are soft and flexible against the skin
- Lightweight, to reduce sweating and potential rash issues
- Have soft, flexible edges
- Have minimal rigid/metal/firm hardware to reduce the likelihood of pressing up against nerves while unconscious.
Do NOT use any metal cuffs or any cuffs with hard, firm edges. These can press against the easy-to-access nerves of the wrists while sleeping.
How to Sleep in Bondage: Solo Edition
Are you sleeping in the bed by yourself – even if someone online told you to sleep in bondage? These ideas can help make it more enjoyable when you’re sleeping in bondage solo:
- Wear a corset to bed. Enjoy the feeling of restriction? Corsets can also be added to your bondage sleeping to add extra sensations of tightness. It isn’t the time for tight-lacing, though – you still need to breathe!
- Edge yourself to porn before bed. If you’re trying to “amp up” the sensations of sleeping in bondage, nothing makes it more intense than simply being very turned on. Explore some porn deals before bed and find some videos to edge to before denying yourself and putting yourself to bed.
- Add additional kink gear. Nobody says you have to attach that gear to anything, but the feel of ankle restraints, thigh cuffs, or upper arm cuffs can add to the feeling of “being bound”.
- Burrito yourself in blankets. While using a sleepsack solo isn’t the best idea, safety-wise, you can replicate some of the sensations with your own blankets. After getting snuggled into bed, but before you add your sleeping bondage, consider really tucking yourself into the blankets. You might even roll back and forth to really “burrito” yourself for the feeling of restraint.
- Fall asleep to hypnosis tracks. Are you into erotic hypnosis? If so, consider adding erotic hypnosis audio to your sleep routine. Fall asleep to the relaxing sound of someone telling you what to do.
- Scent your sleep. Is there a specific “scent” that turns you on? Is it leather? Baby powder? Your long-distance femdom‘s perfume? Consider spraying the scent of it on your pillow before you lay down for an added bit of eroticism overnight.
- Plan for the morning. You’re probably going to be a bit riled up after sleeping in bondage all night. If you want to complete your experience, consider prepping ahead of time to wake up and do a specific activity. This might look like waking up and following jerk off instructions while still in bondage – or putting on a chastity cage before you’re allowed to take off the restraints.
How to Sleep in Bondage: Coupled Edition
Have someone else with you, in-person? Some of these ideas can help make sleeping in bondage erotic for both of you:
- Pre-sleep sex. Especially if the two of you really enjoy orgasm denial, taking “advantage” of the bound partner to “use” their body for the non-bound partner’s pleasure can be a lot of fun. You might consider strapping a dildo onto their face or hips – or using their mouth for oral sex. To keep their sex drive going strong throughout the evening of bondage sleep, don’t allow the bound person an orgasm.
- Wake them up to sex. They’re already bound and probably a bit horny after sleeping. If you want to keep the power exchange mentality going, you can wake them up to sexual activities like pegging, hand jobs, tit jobs, blow jobs, or spankings. You can wake them up before their body naturally wakes them up for a jarring “you get used when I want you” experience, but some people may not respond well to that. Know your partner.
- Do their entire evening routine from bed. If you’re going for a “full” helpless feel, consider doing their entire evening routine from bed. Once they’re bound in the bed, help them brush their teeth with a bowl of water, wipe off their make-up for them, put on their creams and lip balm, and more. Not only does this feel pretty intimate, but it can also make them feel pretty helpless and indebted to you!
- Sleep in an erotic way. How do you normally sleep with them? Now that their nice and bound up, would you like to tease them by sleeping in a way they would want to touch – if they could? This might mean sleeping naked, going to bed with a fresh Brazillian, or sleeping in lingerie.
Updated: September 2023, May 2023, April 2023.
