BDSM Advice Series: Riding Crop for BDSM

The world of impact play is surprisingly large. You’d think that “hit people on butt with stuff” would be surprisingly straightforward, but you know kinky people: they opened up a world of different options. With that in mind, I’ve started a BDSM Advice series that focuses on impact toy options to learn more about your options, how to use them, and what to look for when buying them. Let’s start off this series with the magic of a riding crop for BDSM.

Riding Crop for BDSM: A Beginner-Friendly Design

Riding crops are a fantastic place to start your exploration into impact play toys. This is for a few important reasons:

• They’re easy to handle and aim. Riding crops are one of the easiest impact toys to handle. They’re lightweight, they land exactly where you’re aiming, and the “flick” required to make them land with a serious sting seems almost second nature to most people. Compare this to paddles (heavier), floggers (require practice to land reliably), or dragon tails (really difficult to learn).
• They are surprisingly cheap. Even in sex toy stores, a riding crop is probably one of the most affordable options. If you really need to save some cash and are willing to do a bit of legwork, you can buy riding crops made for horses even cheaper.
• They slide into small spaces. The tip of a riding crop is slimmer than most impact play toys. This means it can be used for small spaces like under an armpit or aimed right onto the perineum. Partner this with the fact that they can be easy to handle and aim, and you can give a quick “tap” to a misbehaving submissive in a spot they weren’t expecting it. (A tap, mind you! The armpit or perineum should not be hit full force!)
• They’re surprisingly fun to master. While you can pick up a riding crop for BDSM and be using it within seconds, there are still a lot of things to learn. The various tip shapes will feel different on the skin, and knowing which sensation you’re going for can take time. Learning the precise pressure to hit with just the tip of the crop compared to the base of the tip can take some time. If you ever choose to start using the long, stick-like bendable portion, you also can start to master some caning techniques with your riding crop for BDSM.
• They sound hot. Okay, personal preference, but the “snap” of a riding crop can sound (and look!) downright hot. Depending on the design of your riding crop, this “snap” won’t necessarily be extremely painful for your bottom either. This means you can have the audible look and sound of a spanking even if masochism isn’t high on your list of loves.

That being said, if you like to go hard, you will find that you can snap a riding crop easier than many other impact play toys. This makes sense. A riding crop is, essentially, a super-flexible stick. It just can’t compare to the durability of inches-thick wood for a paddle.

Buying a Riding Crop

There are a few things you’ll be looking at when you’re trying to buy a riding crop. You’ll be looking at the total length, the tip flexibility, and the tip width.

Riding Crop for BDSM Shopping: Let’s Talk Tip Width

Riding crop tips are crafted in different sizes. In general, a small riding crop tip will cause more pain; there’s less surface area for the strike’s momentum to disperse.

If you’re looking to cause less pain, go for a riding crop with a wider tip. It will still hurt, but it won’t be as bitey and “woah!” as a smaller tipped riding crop.

Especially if you’re new to impact play and unsure if pain is a good fit for you, I’d recommend sticking with wide-tipped riding crops.

The riding crops in the photo above are a good example of this. Because the tip on the left is smaller, it will cause more pain since all of your “momentum” is compounded into one, small spot. For less pain, choose a riding crop tip like the one on the right which features more surface area.

Riding Crop for BDSM Shopping: Let’s Talk Tip Flexibility

Tips can be crafted with a soft, floppy material, or they can be rigidly structured, moving as one piece like a thick piece of cardboard.

If the tip uses a floppy piece of material, it’s much, much easier for the crop’s tip to gain momentum and strike harder – causing more pain. The riding crop for BDSM on the left here is a good example. You can see that the leather is very flimsy and will move around during use.

Anything that is firm will cause less pain because it hits with a uniform, thick surface. The riding crop on the right shows this wonderfully. It has firm leather and has no give, so it moves as one, cohesive surface when being swung.

Riding Crop for BDSM Shopping: Let’s Talk Riding Crop Length

Riding crops come in different lengths. They can be as small as 8 inches – and they can be as long as 30 inches. This gives you the flexibility you need to choose the “right” implement for the job. In a small bedroom or while traveling, that 8″ riding crop might be perfect. When you’re trying to supervise an activity that has failing limbs, that 30″ riding crop can have the reach you need.

However, as the riding crop gets longer, it becomes harder to control as well. There’s simply more “wiggle” to the long length of the riding crop shaft. If you’re a beginner, I recommend a shorter riding crop.

If you choose to hang your riding crop up when you’re not using it, make sure to look for a hanging strap on the end of the handle. (And if you hate those, some kinksters simply cut them off too!)

Basic Kinky Riding Crop Safety

Riding crops are BDSM gear and should be treated as such. This means the standard impact play rules apply:

• Never bring out a riding crop without previously discussing it with your partner. This is not something that should be a “surprise”.
• Set a safeword ahead of time. This safeword will allow the two of you to play without the worry of miscommunication. If the safeword is spoken, it means all play will stop for a serious conversation about what’s going on.
• Start slowly. You should never go your hardest at the start of a scene. Instead, start with a light “tap” of the riding crop for BDSM. See how your partner enjoys the light tap. If they’re having a great time, consider a slightly harder tap. Especially as the swats go from “light tap” to “ouch!”, check in and get verbal consent to maintain (or increase) the intensity level.
• Go lightly anywhere that isn’t usually covered by clothing. Bruises and marks that aren’t easily coverable can be job-endangering for many. Even if your partner consents to harder swats, ensure you keep those swats to areas that are covered with clothing during the workday. Potentially obvious marks should be negotiated ahead of time – not an accident that happens mid-scene. It’s a separate negotiation point.

Despite how easy it is to handle, a riding crop for BDSM can cause deep bruises or nerve impingement. If you’re just beginning your exploration of impact play, keep your riding crop swats to the meatiest, most-protected areas of the body like the thighs and butt. For anything more than a light poke with the tip of the riding crop, you’ll want to avoid joints or sensitive spots (like the face).

To get a taste of how hard you’re hitting, hit yourself on the thigh with the crop.

How to Use a Riding Crop BDSM

Like a lot of impact toys, you’d probably assume that you simply pick up a BDSM riding crop, swing at the spot you want it to go, and bam: profit.

And honestly, that can work. Like, you’ll technically be using the riding crop.

But if you really want to explore how to use a riding crop BDSM, I recommend making things a bit more methodological to get the full benefit of your spanking.

From start to finish, here’s how to use a riding crop for BDSM:

• Pick up the riding crop and see how it feels in your hands. Give it a couple of swats and twirls through the air, seeing how it handles. You may need to regrip at a different point on the handle if things don’t feel comfortable.
• Slip the wrist strap around your wrist. Some riding crops have a wrist strap at the base of the handle. If yours does, slide it around the wrist. Even if you don’t “need” it, it offers a second layer of security and keeps that stupid strap from flopping around the entire time.
• Wiggle your riding crop in the air. Pay attention to how much wiggle the tip has and how far the tip extends from the “crop” itself. This is important.
• Sit down, and tap your own thigh with the riding crop. A “proper” hit with a riding crop only has the very edge of the floppy tip tapping the skin. This eliminates unintended wrap-around sensations, and it reduces wear-and-tear on the shaft of the riding crop and the connective stitches that adhere the tip to the crop.
• Continue to swat your thighs until you’ve figured out the correct amount of pressure for a moderate, painful, but-not-too-much type of swat. It may be difficult to aim while cropping yourself, so don’t be discouraged if you can’t get the “proper” hit.
• Ask your partner to get into position. Especially for beginners, I’d recommend swatting the butt or the thighs. For added safety, your partner can wear a pair of jeans while you’re learning to aim the riding crop. This will reduce the pain of errant, too-hard hits.
• Using the same technique and pressure that we used on your own thigh, swat the agreed-upon location on your partner.
• Ask them how they felt about it. Too hard? Too soft? Went somewhere it wasn’t supposed to go?
• Take their feedback and adjust for the next swat. What feels painful to you may not feel painful to them, and visa versa. Your partner’s opinion of the swat will supersede your own, so adjust accordingly.
• Continue the scene until you both are done, or if this is an exploratory session, continue your play until you feel like you’re getting the hang of the proper wrist movement, pressure, and angle needed to make the swat happen exactly as you intended it to. (For many kinky people, getting proficient in using a riding crop for BDSM is going to take a lot more than one session – and you’ll probably need to repeat the process with every new riding crop you get!)

Tips for Using a Riding Crop in Kinky Scenes

Now, that’s simply the basics. There is a lot more you can do to extend the versatility and play potential of your riding crop. I’m talking things like:

• Draw Out the Suspense. Any impact play scene is going to benefit from drawing out the eventual swats. Just think about it: a hot, dominant person walking around their submissive, displeased and holding a spanking toy, but letting their partner wonder when that spanking will start. It seems counterintuitive, but by simply talking up the spanking and displaying the riding crop, you can build a whole lot of arousal before you ever swat someone!
• Drag It Along the Skin. Unlike most other impact play toys, riding crops also happen to feel pretty neat when dragged along the skin. The flexible tip of a riding crop allows you to vary the pressure as you drag, gently pulling it off the skin and placing it back down. Since riding crops only require a small wrist flick to make the “swat” happen, you can also drag it into place, lift it up, and swat within a second, keeping your partner constantly guessing between the world of sensuality and a bit of pain.
• Make Them Kiss It. If your riding crop is fluid-bound to this partner, getting a bit of riding crop worship into the scene can be hot AF. Unlike paddles (which can feel really overwhelming when held in front of the face) or floggers (which don’t really hold their form in front of a face), a riding crop can easily be traced along the face of the skin to require the bottom partner to kiss and worship the crop with their mouth. NO HITTING. The face is off-limits for impact play, but making your receiving partner worship the very object that’s about to cause pain on their bum can be a whole lot of fun. It has a very phallic feel to it.
• Experiment with Cane-esque Swats. If your riding crop has a firmer, less flexible rod, it can be a bit of an impromptu cane. Instead of hitting your partner with the tip, stand next to them, holding the length of the crop up against their skin with the tip sticking away from the opposing side of their body. Slide the riding crop back and forth along your partner’s skin in anticipation, then pull away and swat the entire length of the crop up against them like a cane. Start lightly as this one hurts, and don’t do it if the tip doesn’t entirely clear your partner’s side. You do NOT want the tip to wrap-around to the front of the body. Do be aware: this isn’t how riding crops are meant to be used, and you may prematurely break your riding crop if you do this too often or too hard.

A Quick (Old!) Video How-To

My partner consented and tells me she couldn’t even feel it through her jeans, but here is the video for the uses of a riding crop. Don’t watch if you’re offended by someone being touched by a riding crop for BDSM.

What to Do With a Riding Crop BDSM

I, personally, find that I love riding crops as an informal addition to any other scene instead of as a single toy during an impact play scene. I love the heck out of riding crops, but they can feel a bit “one note” if you’re simply using the same riding crop to hit a person over and over to the pulsing bass of your dungeon music.

What to do with a riding crop BDSM really depends on your personal preference, but some of my favorite ways to use one include:

• Holding it in my hand while leading my submissive on a leash. Keeping it in my free hand ensures I can swat at them anytime I want. I will admit I do it sometimes when I’m simply bored, but it also lets me swat them when they aren’t moving as expected.
• Using it during a forced workout scene. What can I say? I find it fun to make my partner exercise to their limits. Holding a riding crop while doing it ensures I can tap any spot on their body that isn’t doing the correct form. I usually use the riding crop as more of a “visual” tool for eroticism here, and while I’ll poke a part of their body with it when they’re incorrect, I rarely do a full, pain-inducing swat. Not looking to hurt someone who drops their weights in surprise!
• Adding it to any jerk off instructions scenes. Riding crops allow me to sit further back from my partner, and they can really add to the “I’m simply giving you instructions and watching” dynamic I like from my JOI scenes. I can simply reach the tip out and swat them anytime they’re not listening as expected.
• During pegging. Especially for any pegging position that puts me in a “doggy style” type of position, having a riding crop in my hand lets me tap them on the upper back.
• Adding it into a pony play scene. Honestly, riding crops and pony play go together like peanut butter and jelly. You can even buy your riding crop at the local tack shop (for equines!) for that added realism!
• Simply holding it. Especially if you and your partner aren’t into pain, there’s no rule saying you have to use the riding crop. Instead, it makes a super hot prop, and it pairs well with lingerie for an “I’m in charge” vibe that doesn’t require ever swatting your partner if you don’t want to. Simply run its tip along your partner’s skin without ever needing to make a swat.

Traveling with a Riding Crop for BDSM

Unlike paddles or floggers, the length of your BDSM riding crop is pretty set in stone. You can’t really bend it to fit into your luggage, and if you’re someone who travels often for a BDSM hotel takeover or simply finds it hot AF to fuck in hotels, you’re going to find yourself at a bit of a loss when you try to travel discreetly with your riding crop.

My suggestions?

• Get a travel-friendly riding crop. Riding crops are available in a wide range of lengths. Simply choose a shorter, more compact one if you travel often.
• Take advantage of long luggage. My medium-length riding crops will usually fit on the bottom of my largest luggage bags. Try to ensure nothing is creasing the tip or bending the shaft when placing it into your luggage. If you have rolling luggage, this means taking the luggage’s upright position into account. I’ll usually place my riding crops at the very base of my bags to use the walls of the luggage as a firm, upright surface to keep them as safe as possible.
• Get a poster tube. Designed to fit rolled-up posters, a long but slender tube can work great for storing riding crops or canes. You can buy them at most art supply stores, and of course, online.
• Use a trash bag. As a last resort, toss your riding crop into a trash bag. Try to ensure the bag is opaque. You won’t look the classiest crossing a hotel lobby with a trash bag in tow but at least it’ll be discreet.

Especially if you’re at a kink event or play party, PLEASE don’t leave it hanging out, visibly, for others to see. Yes, riding crops are used for equestrian events, but if you’re clearly not playing with biological ponies anytime soon, you’re really blowing your cover. For the discretion and future of the event, make sure to keep it covered – even if it’s as poorly covered as with a trash bag.

Read Other BDSM Advice Articles

• BDSM Advice Series: How to Use Bondage Tape
• BDSM Advice Series: Everything You Need to Know about BDSM Gags
• BDSM Nipple Clamps: Everything You Need to Know
• All Femdom Advice
• All BDSM Advice

If you have questions but are uncomfortable posting here, please feel free to send me an e-mail at the.mistress.kay@gmail.com . I’m always happy to help or recommend toys. :)

Updated: January 2024, October 2023, September 2023, August 2023, July 2023, May 2023, April 2023.
Originally Posted: December 29, 2009.