BDSM Advice Series: Mindfucks

January 15th, 10   •   Posted by Mistress Kay   •   3 Comments

Mindfucks are really defined as putting an extreme idea into a subbie’s head then doing something that’s much, much more safe to them, but they still think it’s the extreme idea. It’s a form of fear play and the adrealine that can course through the body really can bring your play to a whole new level.

Safety Issues
The mind is a very powerful tool when it comes to BDSM. The trust that you receive from someone submitting to you is also just as powerful. Please remember that BDSM is not something to be abused especially not when it comes to this.

Mindfucks are VERY dangerous to do with a partner you’re not familiar with. You should have been regularly playing with this partner for months before you attempt it. Trust is a very, very valuable thing and to scare a newbie who doesn’t trust you may permanantly scar them from getting back into BDSM and may give you a bad name as well. Since fear doesn’t come into play unless you’re doing something very dramatic, you don’t want to make sure that your bottom is comfortable with play you’ve done in the past and does trust you. Remember that even if you’re a slight bit worried – don’t do it. A scene could turn violent if she/he thinks you’re serious.

Different Uses
Since there’s really no one, uniform use with mindfucks, I’ll give you a couple of examples that I’ve heard of in the past.

One use I’ve heard of is that, while a subbie was tied up bent over a spanking horse, a well-known sadistic Dominant started joking around with another Dominant about whether he had that powerdrill in the back of his car. Turns out he did. They blindfolded the submissive and plugged in the drill and gave it a couple boosts of power so she could hear it. She starts freaking out because, well, it’s a power drill. At this point, they did stop and finish the scene, but if you wanted to do something like this, I know they do hand-held fucking machines that you could easily pass off as a powerdrill and then actually use it. You would place a power drill within your subbie’s sight when he/she comes over for the scene. While they’re blindfolded and tied up, tell them you want to do something new. Then pull out the fucking machine and let them hear it. They’ll freak.

Another is out of an example from the movie Hard Candy. It’s actually possible to clamp off the testicles and ice them down to a point where the male will not be able to feel them anymore. Then you tell him you’re going to castrate him. Make it elaborate with the knives and medical tools. When you say you’re “done”, you pull off the clamps and the warm blood will come rushing back, making him feel like he’s bleeding. I do NOT recommend this to beginners (I’ve never attempted it myself) because the clamps and cold are very hard-to-control-variables. You could honestly end up killing the cells in his testicles, and that’s really not all that sexy. However, for a man that has a castration fetish, I’d recommend looking into this.

A fun one that you can try at home is this one: Leave a butcher knife in plain sight of your subbie during the scene. Midway during the scene, tell the subbie you want to blindfold him/her then go back to playing. After awhile, tell them you found a new toy in the kitchen today, but instead of picking up the butcher knife, grab a plain old butterknife. They will just feel the cold steel and won’t know the difference. Use the non-slotted side of the butter knife, though, just for safety’s sake.  A butter knife at the throat will get the most resilient’s subbie’s heartbeat pounding. It’s safe to do at home because it’s just a butter knife. You really can’t hurt. DON’T use the butcher knife, though.

I heard of a Dominant who had a submissive that really wanted to be branded. Since he knew she wasn’t thinking straight, he agreed to it. He had her bent over something and tied down, and he brought out a branding iron. He set about messing around with the fireplace. (She was blindfolded.) What she couldn’t see was that instead of putting the brand in the fire, he just placed it in a bucket of ice cubes. With a lot of build-up vocally, he finally pressed the ice brand onto her. She screamed like it was fire, but the ice itself wouldn’t leave marks. Maybe a bit of freeze for a bit, but nothing dangerous. After that experience, she realized she really didn’t want to be branded.

Those are all of the examples I have, but I do have tips for those of you who would like to do it:
1) HAVE YOUR PARTNER’S TRUST! I seriously can not stress that enough. If they really think you’d go through with some of this, then you may be looking at a lawsuit.
2) Vocals are key. Talk to the person. Tell them how the blade feels. Let them know that you’re fanning the fire. Describe what the blade looks like. Most bottoms love details and this is no different. Unless you over-do it, talking can make the submissive’s brain think it’s really happening.
3) Take anything you think would be fun and just brainstorm safer ways to manage to do it. Never do the real thing if its dangerous.
4) Blindfolds and restraints make the experience better. When they don’t have control of their senses, their minds depend more on the Dominant.

Remember that safety is ALWAYS key, and have fun with what you do. :)

3 Comments on "BDSM Advice Series: Mindfucks"

January 15th, 2010

[…] Read the original post: BDSM Advice Series: Mindfucks […]

Interrogation Red Carpet Premiere « lilmissnatalie says...
January 20th, 2013

[…] they call red (i.e. give them the information the top wants).  There were no sensual touches, no mind fucking, and certainly no subspace.  There was just lots of pain while someone was constantly screaming in […]

January 20th, 2013

[…] they call red (i.e. give them the information the top wants).  There were no sensual touches, no mind fucking, and certainly no subspace.  There was just lots of pain while someone was constantly screaming in […]




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