Curious about anal rimming? Whether your femdom has asked you to provide anal oral sex or you’ve been craving it yourself, how to do anal rimming safely has probably come up in your thoughts a few times.
While not nearly as talked about as other sexual activities, rimming is still a semi-popular activity – and it can feel amazing! A soft, strong, warm tongue up against the nerve-packed anal area? It’s a definite change of pace from fingers or sex toys – and it can feel absolutely amazing.
So, let’s get into it. Let’s agree on what rimming is, talk about whether anal rimming is safe, what those dangers are, and tips on how to do anal rimming safely.
What is Rimming?
To make sure we’re on the same page, let’s start with a simple definition:
Rimming is pleasuring the anus by using the mouth.
Really, it’s that simple. Rimming is, essentially, giving oral sex to a butthole.
Rimming can be pleasurable for the same reasons that oral sex is pleasurable: a warm, soft, strong tongue and mouth can provide some amazing sensations. As the anal entrance is packed full of delicious nerve endings that respond well to temperature, pressure, and slickness, it’s pretty much a match made in heaven.
As someone’s face and mouth is quite literally on your butthole, rimming can also feel like a very intense, very intimate, and vulnerable activity that some couples fall in love with. People in kinky relationships may play up this “you’re submissive, lick my asshole!” aspect, but like all sexual activities, nothing about rimming is inherently submissive or less-than.
Giving or receiving rimming is not specific to any gender or sexuality. Anyone with any body parts – who likes anyone with any types of body parts – can enjoy giving and receiving rimming. The butthole is a great equalizer.
While rimming (also known as analingus!) can feel amazing, most people can’t orgasm from rimming alone. It’s usually used as an additional way to stimulate an erogenous zone instead of a “means to an orgasmic end”. People may simultaneously stimulate other parts of the body – or rimming may simply be one activity that a couple engages in within their sex session.
Is Rimming Safe?
Yes…and no.
Let’s get one thing out into the open: almost nothing about sex is entirely safe. Your risk goes up when you add another person into the mix, but even when doing things solo, masturbation can lead to chafing, cut skin, UTIs, yeast infections, and more (depending on what you do). If you’re participating in unanchored anal play – and manage to slide an object entirely inside of you! – it could even require an emergency room visit.
So, like everything else about sex, rimming isn’t entirely safe. Like most things we participate in in our everyday lives, we want to take a risk-aware, risk-minimization approach. Similar to how we choose to go on a walk for our physical and mental health – but we wear shoes to protect our feet, don’t walk in the middle of the street, and try not to walk in unfamiliar areas with no idea how to get home.
Take a similar approach to rimming. It isn’t 100% “safe”; there are some risks involved, but a good chunk of those risks can be mitigated with careful, intentional play.
What Are the Dangers of Rimming?
The first step in figuring out how to do anal rimming safely is to figure out what the dangers actually are.
The biggest danger specific to rimming is the ingestion of fecal bacteria. Very few of us really want to equate our oral sex activities with, essentially, eating parts of poop, but in this case (and in penis or vulva oral, if the receiver isn’t careful with defecation and hygiene!), it’s very much a possibility.
Shigella, Hepatitis A and B, Amebiasis, e. Coli, and Giardia are common fecal bacteria baddies transmitted via oral-to-anal contact. This can result in symptoms that feel like food poisoning – all the way up to severe dysentery or death. Most of these infections and parasites require a doctor’s intervention and treatment. If you have a compromised immune system, some of them can also be extremely dangerous. They’re not called “intestinal parasites” because they’re friendly.
Turns out, our solid bodily waste can carry some nasties that our mouths and stomachs don’t really enjoy meeting.
In addition, rimming carries the same risk as many other sexual activities: STIs. It is possible to transmit various STIs during rimming including herpes, HPV, genital warts, gonorrhea, syphilis, and hepatitis A and B.
It’s also important to be cognizant of where your mouth goes after your rimming adventure. Giving oral sex on a vagina, for example, after giving rimming can cause a UTI from the transmission of that anal bacteria.
How Can I Reduce Risks During Rimming?
Now you know what rimming is and the risks it carries. All that’s left? Let’s talk about how to do anal rimming safely – at least, to minimize the risks as much as possible.
Dental Dams
Dental dams are your magical sex partner on any anal rimming adventure. Think of a dental dam like a tiny blanket of sex protection; it’s a square of latex (or non-latex material) that drapes overtop of the anal entrance to provide a barrier between the giver’s mouth and the receiver’s skin.
It’s a bit like a condom – only like a square-shaped blanket instead of a tube-shaped cylinder.
They’re often used for giving oral sex on vulvas too – if you ever want more ways to use your dental dams!
Dental dams are your first (and best!) line of defense for how to do anal rimming safely. They reduce all of the risks of rimming. They’re designed for STI protection – and they also reduce the risk of anal bacterial transmission too. Since the dental dam provides a barrier between the mouth and the anus, it also reduces the likelihood that the mouth transmits any fecal bacteria to any other place on the body.
That is, when you use them properly.
There’s a few problems with dental dams that make them not nearly as commonly used or properly used as condoms:
- Most People Haven’t Heard of Them: Unless you’re a sex nerd or had some amazing sex education, most people haven’t heard of dental dams. You can’t use a safer sex barrier if you don’t even know it exists!
- Protection During Oral Activities is Rare: Even if you had heard of dental dams, many people choose to forego protection during oral sex activities – including rimming. It can be due to a chosen, risk-aware viewpoint, personal preference, or a lack of awareness of the risks.
- Lack of Availability: Go ahead and go to the drugstore and try to find dental dams. Good luck. For some asinine reason, dental dams are extremely hard to find; they’re even rare inside of most brick-and-mortar sex stores. You’ll likely have to order yours online with a sex store that sells dental dams.
- Movement During Use: A dental dam is only used to perfection if you keep all of the corresponding body parts on their corresponding side. If a corner of the dam flips over and touches the anus before being fixed, a tongue that touches that part of the dental dam doesn’t have full protection. Adding lube or using Lorals, mentioned below, helps fix this, but if you’re new to using a dental dam, you may not know about this.
- Taste of Latex: We can’t pretend latex doesn’t have a taste. It does. Some people simply choose to forego dental dams or other protection because of the taste of latex.
Lube with Your Dental Dams
Just like any other type of safer sex barrier, proper usage is key. In this case, with dental dams, that proper usage comes with a healthy amount of lube – like any of the silicone-based or water-based Wicked Lubes.
Placing a dab of lube underneath the dental dam will help keep it in place – and help “adhere” it to the receiver’s skin. This can keep the dental dam from easily sliding around. There have been times when I’ve been giving rimming without lube when the dental dam would fly up and adhere to my nose with every breath I took in. It’s annoying, and I do not recommend it; a bit of carefully placed lube between the dental dam and the receiver’s skin can help alleviate a lot of this.
A well-placed dental dam ensures that your tongue stays on its side of the dental dam – and all of the fun, receiver bits stay on their side of the dam. This separation is what provides the STI and bacterial protection you’re looking for.
A little bit of lube on the giver’s side of the dental dam can be a personal preference too. I, personally, like the feel of my tongue gliding against something slick – instead of the feel of just latex. But it’s entirely up to you.
If you want to add more sensation (or flavoring!) to help reduce the taste of latex, lube can be multi-functional. The Wicked Aqua line includes a variety of flavors to help disguise the latex taste. (Honestly, I’m not a huge latex taste person, so adding flavored lube is my usual go-to.)
You also can mix Wicked Aqua Heat or Wicked Aqua Cool underneath the dental dam to provide unique warming and cooling sensations to the receiver while the giver is working their magic on the opposing side.
(Tip! Start small with the warming and cooling lubes. Some receivers may be sensitive to them – but just as important, you want to keep their sensational effects underneath the dental dam. They might feel a bit too intense if they end up right in the rimming giver’s mouth!)
Just make sure not to overdo it with the lube! The goal is to help things stay in place and make the experience more pleasurable for both parties. If you add too much lube – and the dental dam won’t stay in place anymore – you risk reducing the efficacy of your dental dam – and that defeats the point of using one when learning how to do anal rimming safely.
“Dental Dam Panties” with Lorals
Remember how important it is for your dental dam to stay in place – and not get tangled up – to provide effective protection?
So, the company “Lorals” made entire disposable underwear out of the dental dam material. Made with the same idea as dental dams, a Loral panty is simply slid on like a pair of underwear. And since the receiving partner is literally wearing their dental dam, it stays pretty darn still. There’s no readjusting or careful adjustment required by the giving partner in order to get the dental dam to behave. And they can be worn by anyone of any gender; their protective panty design still works just as great whether you have a vulva or a penis.
I’m going to be real with you: Lorals are more expensive than a standard dental dam – over twice the cost. At the time of writing this, you can get a dental dam for around $3 – and a pair of Lorals (which must be bought in a 4-pack) at about $6.25 a panty.
And remember: both dental dams and Lorals are one-time, disposable items.
BUT if you regularly participate in rimming with brand new partners – or save rimming for a special treat because you’re afraid of the tongue-to-butthole contact, Lorals can be a real effort-saver.
Plus, for latex or rubber fetishists, it can look downright hot.
One big caveat: at the moment being, Lorals only go up to a size 20. (The usual plus-size issue bullshit.) They are very vocal about working on larger sizes, however, if you want to keep your eye out for when they release it.
Add Thorough Showers
A thorough shower before rimming play can make you feel more comfortable before play – but it can also be helpful in reducing any residual anal bacteria in the area. Soap, water, and a thorough clean of the outer anal area can remove sweat, life build-up, and some of the anal bacteria as a method for how to do anal rimming safely.
Just your fingers are a good start, but you may want to use something with a bit of gentle texture (like a bath poof or washcloth) to help clean the folds of the anus.
If you’re solely using a shower to help reduce your risk, I’d also caution against sliding the tongue inside of the booty. Cleaning the outer skin of the anal entrance can be simple to do in the shower, but that isn’t the case for being able to clean the inside of the butt. You’re likely to encounter anal bacteria with any type of penetration. Unfortunately, enemas will not help with this, either.
If you’re someone who really loves tongue penetration with rimming, consider using cut-open latex gloves to facilitate rimming. The thumb hole of your safer sex glove can become the perfect spot to slide your tongue into.
While a thorough shower can help reduce anal bacteria, it will not reduce any risk of STIs.
Minimize Anal Penetration Before Rimming
Turns out, anal penetration involves sliding anal bacteria from inside the butt – and then sliding them outside of the butt. If you think about how thrusting works (with something going inside the butt, pulling out a bit, then sliding back inside!), this makes perfect sense.
This means that you’re at a higher risk of ingesting anal bacteria if you perform rimming after some type of penetration. Not only does penetration move the penetrating object itself, but it also can be a great transit for that hitchhiking anal bacteria to make it to the entrance too.
“Penetration” means anything that penetrates. This could be anal intercourse with a biological peen, using a butt plug, finger fucking, fisting, using anal dildos, pegging, or anything else.
If rimming is on the menu after some type of anal penetration, definitely use a safer sex barrier like a dental dam to reduce the extra exposure to anal bacteria. That’s how to do anal rimming safely.
Spread the Cheeks
Unlike giving oral sex on a vulva or a penis, the booty has a lot more meat around it. Them bootycheeks can be downright annoying when it comes to rimming. Not only does it make it harder to breathe, but the not-quite-flat surface of the anal entrance (and the surrounding cheeks) can make it harder to get that dental dam to stay in place.
Spreading the cheeks can help.
How you choose to spread the cheeks is entirely up to you. You can have the receiving partner hold their cheeks apart. You can try to find some fetish products that help spread the cheeks apart.
If you’re more into premade solutions, the Exposed Booty Tape is designed pretty much exactly for this. These skin-friendly, pre-cut slices of tape are laid onto the skin and then pulled taut. It’s, essentially, using tape to replace someone’s hands pulling the buttcheeks apart.
If you want to DIY that same idea, you can use the same premise – and some duct tape – to make it happen. Just be aware that it’s going to hurt to pull standard tape off the skin – and for the love of everything, keep tape away from the hole itself!
With the cheeks pulled apart, everything is easier to access (and see!). It’s also easier for the giving partner to breathe, and depending on the receiver’s preferences, it can also make everything feel more sensitive. It’s a win-win!
Avoid Anything Scratchy on the Anus
I don’t have a tongue ring, so I’m not going to pretend to understand everything about owning one.
But I do know that my tongue-ring-owning friends have talked about accidentally scratching up a penis during blowjobs. (In addition to discussions about accidentally swallowing their own rings.)
If you’re someone who has a tongue ring or nose ring, make sure you’re cognizant about where they are if you’re unable to take them out. Not only do the ring holes make a great spot for bacteria, but the small folds of the anus can “catch” on exposed posts or rings.
This is, of course, in addition to the fact that the folds of the entrance are very thin and easily prone to tearing and scratching. Mix that with the activities that generally go on here, and you have an easy risk for infection – and nobody wants that.
This also applies for long fingernails – and even scratchy beards. You might not think much about your fingernails for an oral-focused activity, but if you’re using your fingernails to spread the cheeks, this can get them closer to that rosebud than you’d initially imagine!
It’s probably not the first thing you think of when thinking about how to do anal rimming safely, but it’s still very important!
References Used: Healthline, Gay Male Journal, Planned Parenthood.
Updated: February 2024, August 2022, July 2022.
