When the topic of strap-on sex comes up, the focus is almost always on hip harnesses. For some odd reason, if you can choose anywhere on the body to place a dildo, the default option seems to be to cover up most people’s biggest erogenous zone. I genuinely do not get it. So I’m here to spread the gospel of thigh dildo strap-on harnesses to show you the light.
When I’ve taught pegging classes in the past, so many femdoms are surprised that thigh strap-on harnesses even exist! They’re encountering issues with their hip harnesses, and they attend the class hoping to find more ways to get pleasure out of their pegging sessions. Some were on the verge of giving up on pegging entirely. But, lo and behold, this small, unassuming change of dildo placement can make a WORLD of difference in the experience – especially for the femdom.
So let’s jump into why I prefer thigh dildo strap-on harnesses to their hip harness counterparts. Because, goddamnit, you do whatever works best in your sex life, but you should at least be aware of the alternatives:
It Ensures I Get to Orgasm
This is the most important one for me, personally. Using a thigh strap-on harness means that everything between my legs is still pretty available. While my receiving partner’s knee might be near my vulva, it isn’t really in the way of anything.
So, I can enjoy myself as I’d like. I can use my hands for self-pleasure, use my favorite sex toys, or require him to pleasure me. (I rarely go with the latter because all of the “riding” movement generally makes him pretty useless at it.)
The point being: I’m not depending on a dildo grinding up against me in the exact right spot at the exact pace in order for me to get to orgasm. I’m not dragging out the pegging session even longer (to the point where he might be sore) in order to try to get enough stimulation to orgasm.
I can use the methods I already love for orgasm (my fingers, toys, or anything else), take my time, edge myself (if I want) and generally keep arousal levels high until it seems like the time that I’d like to end the pegging.
I am able to orgasm with the grinding motion on a hip harness, but it isn’t reliable either. Swapping over to a thigh harness means orgasm is much more accessible for me. It’s just a matter of getting the stimulation I normally enjoy in order to hit orgasm while simultaneously pleasuring my partner.
I Enjoy a Better Visual
Depending on the sex position, when I’m wearing a hip harness, I rarely get to see much of the “intercourse” in action. As many people with larger breasts can tell you, it’s really, really hard to see your vulva in most positions. That means I don’t really get to see much of the action as I’m inserting a dildo into someone.
At the same time, using a hip harness means that my body is much, much closer to theirs. Let’s say I’m sitting down and he’s riding on top of my lap. That puts his body – and face – within 6″ to a foot of my own. Good luck easily focusing on someone’s face at that distance.
Now, if I move it onto a thigh dildo, all of that action is magically moved about a foot away. This means I can view the dildo as it goes inside of him – and yes, it’s delicious. It means that I can see every ounce of pleasure on his face as he rides me – and yep, that’s delicious too.
And now, when he wants to kiss me, instead of being too tall to do so, he has to lean in to do so – which gives me a delicious “I need you” visual too. Plus, it gives me more space to push and pull him around!
Providing some space between myself and the penetration action really allows me to get better “involved” in the action – which seems backwards, but it’s true.
It’s Less Tiring – AND I Get Better Leverage
My thigh is just a smaller part of my body than my entire abdomen. So thrusting with my thigh dildo is just much less tiring. There isn’t as much body weight and size to move around, so it’s simply easier to move around. This lets me do a whole lot more thrusting without getting tired.
Since my thigh is smaller and I use it more often than my glute muscles, I’m also able to get much better, faster thrusting with my thigh compared to my hips. It doesn’t have the entire weight of my body behind it; it’s just a thigh and can move around more quickly and fluidly. This can allow me to adjust my pegging to move alongside the thigh dildo.
If I want it faster, I can add that. If I want it slower, that’s doable too.
It Feels More Comfortable
This one isn’t as much of a concern as I’ve been pegging butts for years now, but wiggling a thigh feels pretty natural. If you weren’t born with a penis, you were probably born with a thigh – and you’ve probably had a lot of experiences moving your thigh by now.
That isn’t necessarily the case with wearing a hip harness. A lot of new femdoms express trepidation about their hip movements. Most of them have never “penetrated” anything, and the hip movement required to make it happen feels foreign and uncomfortable. For people who are able to do the movement, they might find it exhausting relatively quickly.
You don’t get that same issue with the thighs. Moving a thigh is something most of us do regularly, and it feels pretty normal. Score 1 for the thigh harness.
It Opens Up More Pegging Sex Positions
Sometimes, bodies just don’t align properly. As a femdom who’s still decently tall – but still usually shorter than most of my receiving partners – this is even more of a problem. A lot of the “sex positions” out there assume that the penetrating partner is taller than the receiver. That just isn’t the case for almost all of my pegging sex.
However, the thigh dildo harness gives me another tool in my tool box. If I find that my hip harness is too low or too high, I usually find that a thigh harness is the exact right height.
This happens a lot while laying sideways in the bed (the Spoon position in my Pegging Positions article). I have broad hips. My partner is a slim person with very narrow hips. When we lay together to spoon, my hips are much, much taller on the bed. When I add a hip harness to my hips, the dildo “lands” very close to the top of his hips – and nowhere near the hole where I need it.
Using a thigh dildo harness on my lower thigh, though, puts the dildo at the exact height I need for Bed Domination.
If I had just assumed a hip strap-on harness was my only option, I’d have to assume that all spooning sex positions were a no-go. The idea of that just makes me sad.
(I do find that standing sex positions are a lot harder with a thigh harness compared to a hip harness, though. We almost never do standing sex positions, so this isn’t a negative point for us, but if your tried-and-true fave is standing, keep that in mind!)
My Favorite Thigh Strap-On Harnesses
Let me be honest: there aren’t very many thigh dildo strap-on harnesses on the market. Hip harnesses dominate the harness category.
BUT if you know where to look – and are open to supporting smaller businesses – we can still find a perfect thigh dildo harness to begin your exploration.
My recommendations:
Budget-Friendly Thigh Dildo Harness
Fits up to 29″ Thigh
Material: Neoprene. Neoprene can be washed with warm water and mild soap. My neoprene Joque harness can be washed in the washing machine, and this harness could be too. Let it air dry fully. Super easy to care for – especially if you tend to have messy sex.
While this isn’t thicker thigh friendly, if you’re working with a slimmer thigh, this is by far your easiest and most budget-friendly option. Not only is it cheap, but it works via velcro, so you essentially just slide a dildo in, velcro the harness around your thigh, and bam: done. I honestly wish they made these in thicker sizes so I could use them when I wanted something lightweight when time was of the essence.
(It will not work for ultra-thick dildos because of the built-in O-ring. This built-in O-ring caps at 1.75″, so if you’re into bigger toys, you may need to default to one of the options below.)
Thicc Thigh Dildo Harness
Fits up to a 40″ Thigh – but potentially offers customization for larger sizes
Material: PolyPro Nylon. Can be hand washed with warm water and mild soap. SheVibe states it can be machine washed – but should be air dried. This is also extremely easy to take care of. We just take it into the shower with us post-sex and give it a good rinse.
Etsy is the place to get custom BDSM gear, and of course, kinky people deliver! ActivestProject makes these lovely rainbow thigh strap-on harnesses. (It’s what I’m wearing in the feature photos!). SheVibe recently picked up these harnesses from the small business too, so you can get them US-side (SheVibe) or Canadian-side (their Etsy).
The three straps really help stabilize the dildo, and with an interchangeable O-ring, this is probably your best bet if you want to strap thick, heavy dildos onto your thigh. It does take a lot longer to get on (because you need to snuggly secure three separate straps as opposed to simple Velcro), but once it’s there, it’s very comfy and very stable.
SheVibe only carries the size up to a 40″ fit. I contacted ActivestProject on Etsy, and they were able to custom-make me a larger size. For accessibility, you can also contact them on Etsy, and they can build in pull handles to make it easier to tighten the harness onto your thigh.
Kinky Leather Thigh Harness
Fits Up to 25″ Thigh
Material: Leather. Not the easiest material to clean, leather should be cleaned with specialty leather cleaner or saddle soap. Definitely do not put it in the washing machine.
If you’re willing to put in more time and money for a hot visual, the ASLAN Leather thigh harness might be what you’re looking for. It comes in a slimmer size than the other options, but it’s made from leather, and it offers that “kinky”, bondage look that the other options do not.
It has an interchangeable O-ring to allow you to use any dildo size.
Unlike the other options on this list, the back of the dildo will press against the leather pad instead of bare skin. This can provide a cushion between the base of the dildo and your skin.
Double Penetration Thigh Harness
Fits Slightly Over 29″. (Fits 29″ unscretched. Might get another inch or two with a really snug fit.)
Material: This is another neoprene harness with velcro fasteners. It can be stuffed into your washing machine on gentle in a lingerie bag. Allow it to air dry. This makes for extremely easy care – especially if you get your harness dirty.
If double penetration is on your to-do list with a thigh harness, this is pretty much your only pre-made harness option. You can DIY something or wear two thigh harnesses at once, but if you want an all-in one option, this is pretty much it.
On the bright side, if it fits for you, it’s that same, affordable, easy-wear material as the Sportsheets harness shown above. I’m not really sure why they chose to go with two differently sized O-ring holes, but both O-rings are built in. One O-ring is 1.25″ while the other is 1.75″, so you’ll likely need to choose a slimmer dildo for one of the two dildos.
DIY Thigh Harness Option
Whether you’re short on cash or heavy on rope, you also can tie on your own thigh dildo harness every time you want to use it. I’ve used this method a couple of times. While it isn’t as stable as the other options – and it takes longer to set up – it can be a good fit when you’re short on thigh harnesses and heavy on a desire to use your thigh dildo.
The BumpHers
As a final suggestion, you can see that almost all of the thigh dildo harnesses on this list will leave the dildo pressing up against bare skin. Depending on how heavy your rider is, how much plush you have on your thighs, and how rigid the base of your dildo is, this can leave the dildo pressing really, really firmly into your thighs.
Which, um, ow. Add a human’s body weight on top, and it can hurt.
I, personally, don’t usually experience any discomfort (at all) from the dildo while my partner rides, but I have super plushy thighs and my partner is lighter than air. I know this isn’t the case for most people.
That’s why I’d like to point out the BumpHer toys – just in case. These dildo base covers essentially wrap around the base of your pre-existing dildo’s base, adding a soft, plushy surface to the underside of your toy. This can eliminate the hard, rigid edges of your base pressing into your skin. They’re designed to help add vulva stimulation to grind against when wearing a hip harness, but they can work overtime here too.
If your dildo has too large of a base, BumpHer also makes their b.cush which doesn’t wrap around a base. It simply rests underneath the base, using the grippy silicone-on-silicone stick to help keep it in place.
I have a BumpHer review from awhile back if you want to see how they function and work for adding sensation during pegging, but I really just recommend them, for thigh harness use, for softening and cushioning the base of the dildo against your thigh. It can help!
Resources to Make Your Pegging Even Better
Now that you’re an expert in thigh dildo harnesses, let’s talk about other awesome ways to make pegging even better. Here’s some of the pegging advice I’d recommend:
- How to Help a Woman Orgasm from Pegging
- Best Pegging Positions for Beginners
- How to Pick Your Perfect Strap-on Harness
- Podcast: “Putting Stuff Up His Butt”
- How to Keep from Making a Pegging Poop Mess
- Podcast: Plus Size Strap On Tips
- How One Woman Went from Hating Pegging to Making It a Weekly Part of Her Sex Life (on Kinkly)
