’tis the season! Honor your dynamic and celebrate the season with these kinky Christmas present ideas.
While I celebrate Christmas, there’s nothing stopping you from using any of these ideas for other winter holidays or even a birthday or anniversary throughout the year. A gift is a gift – even if it isn’t on a “holiday”.
With no further ado, here are some kinky Christmas present ideas when you’re into BDSM:
Homemade “I’ll Do This” Coupons
The romance and non-kink world has a lot of those tear-out coupons you can give your lover so they can “redeem” them at a future date. You know, things like “You get the remote for the night” or “I’ll rub your feet”.
You probably aren’t going to find a pre-made set that’ll work for the unique kinks and dynamic that you and your BDSM partner have.
This means you get to create the set! Brainstorm the coupons you’d like to give your partner, and create your own set of them. If you’re artsy, you can doodle them on plain white paper for a personal touch. If you’re not-so-artsy, you can use graphic design services (like Canva) to fill-in-the-blanks on pre-made templates.
For people who are really on a time crunch, some Etsy sellers provide the creation of the coupon with the info you provide.
Feel free to get creative with suggestions that really honor your dynamic, but here are some general ideas to get you started:
- Cigar service, complete with a sexy outfit
- Rope conditioning
- Leather cleaning all of your gear
- Handwashing your favorite lingerie
- Sleeping naked to be available for play first thing in the morning ;)
- Being the designated driver to the next slosh meet-up
- Packing the entire toybag for your next hotel takeover event – and even loading it into the car!
Kinky Christmas Present Ideas: An Extravagant Evening of Service
“Cook your partner dinner” is a standard gift for non-kinky couples, but it can be one for you too – just taken up a notch. Ritual, service, and reverence are often ideals within kink play. Bring them to any service-oriented evening of play that you want to gift your partner.
This can look like:
- Cooking your partner dinner. Your partner arrives home to the welcoming smell of food being prepared in the kitchen. You’re naked, kneeling near the entryway. You give them 10 minutes to decompress from work in the bedroom before requesting their presence in the kitchen where you’ve set up an elaborate dinner set-up. The sturdy table has plateware on it, but it avoids a human-sized space in the middle of it. After your partner is settled and you serve dinner, you lay on the table, allowing your partner to eat directly off your skin. (Alternatively, your partner is bound to their dinner chair as soon as they sit, and you spend the entire evening feeding them instead – potentially with a vibrator placed underneath the chair they sit in.)
- An evening cocktail service. Your partner arrives at their required time, and they are escorted out onto the patio. The patio table is obscured with a thick tablecloth and candlelight with a gentle jazz soundtrack in the background as the sun sets. A perfectly-stoked fire roars nearby. Your partner is seated by you, the beautiful server in a kinky/sexy/service outfit. You ask for their order, and you disappear into the kitchen to make it. You bring back their drink, placing it with care on the table, before kneeling at their feet. You occasionally get up to care for the fire. Mid-service, you bring over a tray of kink implements, offering your lover the chance to use any (or none) on their server if they desire.
- A night with their favorite board game. They come home to a home filled with their favorite candle scent, and their favorite board game already set up on the table. Their favorite drink is already set up next to the best seat at the table. You’re the game master for the night, doing all of the annoying board game token swaps and administrative work while you wear an outfit that makes it a bit hard for them to concentrate on the game. You might even be wearing some of your bondage gear as a way to honor your dynamic. As they finish their drink, you get refills, getting them anything they need so they can stay comfortably perched in front of the table. You might even offer them some of their favorite impact play toys to spank you (or get spanked) as part of one of the negative consequences of the game. Consider some thematic music in the background or intentionally-lit lights to match the game’s vibe. When you’re done, you put away the board game and ask what they’d like to do next.
- I’ve also come up with entire spa day and bathing scenes that could be a great fit with kink here. They have a femdom slant, but they can work for anyone.
The idea is to take a cute evening “gift” activity and think about how you can infuse some sexy or kinky energy into it. In many cases, this can be as simple as putting on nicer clothing or simply reframing the idea of the activity itself into a “kink” activity instead of “something we’re doing tonight”.
DIY a Board Game
Do you and your partner love games? If so, my next kinky Christmas present ideas includes DIY’ing your own board or card game.
If you want to go “easy mode”, simply come up with rules that you can use alongside a deck of cards. This could look like:
- Play Go Fish, but every matching pair requires the bottom to submit to that many spanks.
- Play your favorite standard card game, but every Ace requires you both to stop the game and do a specific kink activity.
- Your favorite standard card game, but the bottom must play the game in a difficult position – like in predicament bondage, standing in an awkward position, or in kink gear.
If you want to go “hard mode”, you can create your own game from scratch. This will take a lot longer, but you can really customize it – especially if you have a creative mind and some art skills. For the uninitiated, I’d recommend creating a card game (as it’s much simpler to work with just cards), but if you’re ready for a challenge, you can work with an entirely empty, you-draw-it-out board, dice, and player tokens too.
Just do a web search for “DIY board game kits”. There are quite a few out there.
Whatever you do, make the activities in the game things your gift recipient enjoys. This is their gift, after all.
Personalized Gear
Kink gear just happens to be a big part of many BDSM player’s fun. There are tons of fun toys to play with and explore.
Make that exploration personalized to the two of you with personalized gear. This can look something like:
- A collar with a nametag that’s unique to the two of you
- Choosing the colors, length, and materials of a commissioned flogger
- A paddle with a specific word or phrase built into it
- Cuffs that feature their favorite colors or color combinations
- T-shirts with words or phrases that are meaningful to you both
Don’t worry; I don’t expect you to have the ability to do all of these things! Most kink gear is made by small business artisans, and you can reach out to find out if custom requests are possible. For example, below is a collar from Mercy Industries (review) and a paddle from Grateful Pain (review).
Keepsake Box
Most of us have kink gear or items that are more important to us than others. I know I have a ton of cuffs and leashes that I’ll use for whatever, but there are a few collars that I only pull out when it’s a special occasion.
If you know your recipient has gear like that, you may consider getting them elaborate storage for those items.
Measure out the item that requires the storage, and go about finding a box, tin, or container that can fit that item. You can look in kinky channels, but honestly, the fun thing about this gift is that you aren’t limited to kink-specific places. Look for beautiful storage boxes at craft stores, online, at antique stores, and more. Get a box that appeals to their interests or kinks.
Not only is their favorite gear protected, but it’s also now stored in a way that honors it. Every time they pull out their favorite collar, they get to touch and feel that Cthulu storage box you got them to house it.
A Journal with Prompts
Most of us love to get to know our kink partners a bit better. A journal, complete with prompts, can make that easier.
Come up with journal prompts that help answer some of what you want. Buy a journal, and hand-write in your prompts at the top of every 4 pages. Gift it to your partner with a request (or demand, depending on your dynamic!) that they complete the journal.
You can do the same thing with a word processor document on a computer if they’re the typing sort, but it doesn’t have the same, home-made, cute-sy feel of a journal you can hold in your hands.
The below kink journals can do some of the “work” for you, but you may not get the specific answers you’re looking for:
Kinky Christmas Present Ideas: A Gift of their Kinks
Does your partner have kinks that you don’t really share? Are there some activities that the two of you don’t do often because they don’t do a whole lot for you? Maybe you actually love those kinks, but it’s a time commitment or body recovery issue keeping you from doing them often.
This can be a great time to “gift” them to your partner.
Craft a scene (or a coupon, telling you you’ll be happy to do the scene!) for your partner featuring the kinks you know they love but you both may not do often.
As long as you’re open and comfortable with doing the kinks, this can be the sexual equivalent of giving your partner a massage. You don’t necessarily “get” anything out of the experience of giving a massage, but you get the warm fuzzies of intimacy and making your partner happy.
Porn…featuring You!
This is one of my favorite kinky Christmas present ideas, and I’m sharing it with you. I absolutely love having “porn” of my partner to enjoy in my private time. I’m not talking about that one-off selfie they took while they were getting dressed. I’m talking about the rare times my partner has had the time and energy to set up an entire scenario, get dressed, film, and edit an entire scene for my viewing. It’s as-if they were doing it for a pay-for-a-custom-video client – only it was a gift to me!
If you know your partner’s kinks, this one can be an easy gift. If you don’t know their kinks or favorite porn tropes, this can be a great time to ask them.
Don’t feel limited to video content if you’re uncomfortable with identifiable videos or videos in general. You can write them erotica (featuring their kinks), give them some audio porn, or get creative with your video or photo angles to avoid any identifiable features.
Kinky Christmas Present Ideas: Getting New Gear
I already recommended picking up some custom BDSM gear, but you don’t have to go the custom route. Most of us still have some “off-the-shelf” “wishlist” gear we’ve wanted for awhile. Maybe we couldn’t justify the cost, or we’re worried about how often we’ll use something even though we really want it.
Sometimes, the desire is practical. Your current, well-loved rope kit might be on its last legs, but you’re really struggling with the cost of replacing it.
Kink gear can be a great gift for people who are kinky. Checks out, right? Do some gentle, light probing to figure out what they’ve been wanting and go from there.
Some ideas that can help you figure out what your partner has been jonesing:
- “I’ve been thinking about running over to the sex store later. Do we need anything?”
- “I kinda wanna try some new toys with you. Is there anything you’ve seen lately that looks cool?”
- Ask them to look at a kink store with you and pay attention to what takes their fancy.
- Literally ask for a wishlist on their favorite kink sites.
Updated: November 2024, October 2024, March 2021.
