BDSM Scenes, Step-by-Step: Standing Punishment Scene (Sexual and Impact Play)

Delving further into helpful BDSM and femdom resources, “BDSM Scenes, Step-by-Step” is my latest iteration of helpful advice. When I was a newbie little femdom, I remember feeling terrified over my next scene. What was I supposed to do? Was there someone who had more experience who could walk me through leading an entire person’s pleasure through sex? What if I screwed up? How was I supposed to focus on the “fun” when I was just confused about what I was supposed to be doing? Turns out, this is relatively common. So, eight years later, this femdom has a lot more experience – and wants to prevent people from falling into the same anxiety that I did. Welcome to the “BDSM Scenes, Step-by-Step” series. Read the basics of a scene, read how to prepare for it, and read about how to go through with it, step-by-step. Whether using these scenes when you’re feeling uninspired or just want to fall into a scene where you already know how you want everything to go, these BDSM entire scene outlines are designed to work for you.

Above-all, it’s your scene. If something isn’t a good fit for your dynamic or your recipient, modify it. This is a lovely BDSM scene tutorial template for you to modify for your own needs. Remove the stress of “what the fuck am I doing?” by having a gameplan – and feel free to modify it as you’re enjoying yourself. After all, you’re in charge.

This Scene Is….

A lovely addition to any sort of “punishment” dynamic. Focused on providing sexual pleasure while also providing impact play, this dynamic works well as a “funishment” scene. The submissive will have their hands bound above their head (which is a very vulnerable position) while receiving sexual pleasure from a wand massager. This pleasure will be juxtaposed with the pain of the impact play that the dominant provides through their preferred impact toys.

In addition, with lighter impact toys, this scene can be used as a “testing the waters” scene for a submissive who is sexually familiar with the top but is unsure about their interest in pain. Using lighter toys will allow for more focus on the sexual pleasure and will allow the submissive’s brain to process the added impact as pleasurable instead of shockingly painful.

This scene will require modifications if the submissive partner is uncomfortable standing or has blood flow issues through the arms or legs.

Scene is: Punishment scene, Funishment scene, Standing bondage scene, Hitachi bondage scene.

As a note, this scene uses a “Forced Orgasm” Hitachi Belt. “Forced Orgasm” Hitachi Belts are designed for vagina-owning individuals. That being said, if playing with a penis-owning individual who loves anal pleasure, this scene can be adapted for a penis-owning submissive. Slide a substantial butt plug into the submissive, put the “Forced Orgasm” Hitachi Holder on backwards, and voila! You’ll have a vibrating dildo. If the strap-on Hitachi holder isn’t working to keep the dildo inside, you might consider a butt plug harness in addition to the Forced Orgasm Hitachi strap. This alternative can also be used just-for-fun with vagina owning individuals. (Don’t have a Hitachi or want more accessories? Try sex shops in NY selling the Hitachi Magic Wand)

What Do You Need

–the Hitachi Magic Wand Vibrator (or other wand massager)
-a “Forced Orgasm” Hitachi Belt (or ropework) that holds the wand massager in place during a standing position
-Comfortable wrist restraints for standing, above-the-head bondage
-Your preferred impact play toys

Household Things to Have
-Overhead bondage points that can take bodyweight (or over-the-door bondage points)
-Space where loud noises and pain-induced noises will not be a problem

How Long Does It Take?

The over-the-head positioning of this scene is the time-limiting factor of this scene – along with your partner’s pain endurance. Expect this to take between 20 minutes to 45 minutes.

How Do You Prep

To complete this scene in its entirety, you need an overhead bondage point of some point. If you have a *WEIGHT-BEARING* one in your home, you can use that. Do not skimp on this. Your partner will likely get tired or jumpy during an impact play scene and throw a lot of weight into this bondage point. Pulling down your ceiling will hurt your partner and just straight-up look stupid. If you do not have a weight-bearing overhead bondage point in your home, manufacturers make over-the-door straps that provide bondage points. Depending on your exercise proclivities, a TRX system also have similar clips that are designed for weight-bearing purposes.

Once you’ve determined where you’ll bind your partner, you just need to ensure you have everything else ready. Especially if you bought a new Hitachi Belt (or are playing with a rope tie to do it), make sure you’ve run through that tie or strapped the Hitachi Belt onto yourself. Those things can get really confusing, and you need to ensure it looks smoother during the scene itself. So pre-planning is necessary.

Along with that, have your Hitachi Magic Wand charged and ready to go. Have your wrist restraints cleaned and ready for play. If you plan on taking this to a penetrative level, make sure you have condoms and any other safer sex supplies around.

Step-by-Step Instructions

1. Start your scene by introducing the “why” to your scene. If you’re using this as a punishment scene, start there. Command your partner to kneel and hold up their wrists. Strictly state what they’ve done wrong, and how they’re going to serve their “punishment” as their penance for the problems they’ve caused. Fill the empty space with words about how you’re disappointed, how you’re going to enjoy spanking them for the problems they’ve caused, and how you hope they learn their lesson for the next time. You can put their wrist cuffs on them as you do this. (And if you’re just doing this for fun? Spend that verbal time praising them for being open to submitting to this pleasure for you, thank them for letting you use their body, or similar sentiments.)
2. Ask your partner to close their eyes. Slowly and gently lead your partner to a wall that’s near where you want to eventually bind them to the hardpoint on the ceiling. Telling them to keep their eyes closed, ask them to place their hands on the wall and keep themselves steady without their vision.
3. With them focused on staying still and having no idea what you’re doing, you can kneel next to them and pull out that Hitachi Massager belt. They’ll be able to feel as you fasten the straps around their thighs, but they won’t have too much idea of what you’re doing. Take this time to get the orgasm belt fully into place and get the wand massager between their thighs as well. If you’re using the alternative dildo option, you’ll want to take this time to do that instead. Make sure the wand massager belt is tight against the person’s body – that’s what’s going to make it so the massager provides pleasure hands-free while you’re busy with other things.
4. Do not turn on the massager yet – unless you want to. Instead, with the massager awkwardly hanging between their legs, take their wrists and get them bound to your overhead point.
5. With them in place, start getting the skin of the butt warm with your own hands. Gentle slaps, lots of groping, and squeezing can all help your partner’s body ready itself for impact play. For most people, a focus on the butt is a really good fit. If you’d rather use the upper back, though, make sure you have the skillset to avoid the spine – and spend that time warming up the upper back instead.
6. With the skin warmed up, it’s time that you start placing your first hits. Use your preferred impact implement and spank your partner. You can make the first spank a bit harsher to make it obvious that this is a punishment, but after that, I definitely recommend that you pull it back to a gentle intensity. The idea is to “warm-up” the body to ensure this spanking is pleasurable in addition to “punishing”. Spend a couple of minutes with spanking here.
7. After that couple of minutes, put down your implement and go back to your hands for teasing touches, gropes, and squeezes. You might consider cooing some words of praise – or words of punishment – as you do this. This is a fantastic time to turn on the Hitachi Magic Wand and allow that pleasure to add to the fun. Allow this break to drag out a bit to ensure your partner gets to experience some of the pleasure of the wand massager before going straight back to the spanking.
8. When you’re ready to move on, I recommend starting gently again for a bit (with the implement you just had), but after a couple of those spankings, move onto a stronger sensation. You can switch implements or just use this particular implement more forcefully. You might consider taking some quick breaks to push the Hitachi up more tightly against their body – or just to wiggle it around. Just to make sure they’re feeling all of it, of course.
9. To make sure your partner’s hands and arms are still feeling good after fighting the effects of gravity, at this point, I recommend unbinding your partner’s wrists and letting them move their arms around a bit. You can take this time to gently praise your partner, rub some of the bruises you might have developed, or give them lots of kisses. You could also take this time for a lovely make-out session – though be aware that your partner’s hands might be giving some painfully distracting sensations while you do this. Try to give at least 5 minutes for this break. Oh, and don’t forget to turn off the wand massager. We certainly wouldn’t want them to enjoy added pleasure while we’re on a break.
10. Back to fun! Verbally ask your partner if they’re ready to go back up, and if so, reattach the restraints to their bondage point. Turn back on the wand massager.
11. At this point, we’ll jump back into the impact play. Do a quick go-through of all of the intensity levels you’ve done so far. Start with the gentle spanks, but you can quickly move into the moderate-intensity spanks from there. Once you’ve done a bit of the moderate again, you might want to up the intensity level again. If your partner had a “pain scale”, we’d want you to be at about a 6 or 7 on their scale. Enough to know that they couldn’t take this pain forever, but not at the verge of needing to tap out within the next ten minutes.
12. Another quick break for touching and feeling. Allow their body to have some reprieve from the constant pain, and they’ll be able to take more than if we’d kept going forever. Take this time to play with their body, tease them, embarrass them over their poor job (over whatever we’re punishing them for), or anything else.
13. Now we come to the grand finale. Jump back into your moderate-intensity swats before taking a quick break to talk. Start this “finale” off with verbalizing what we’re going to do. You can use your own words, or something along the lines of “These are the final X number of spanks for your punishment. You’re going to be a good boy/girl/person and count each one aloud for me and thank me for teaching you your lesson.” or “These are the final X number of spanks I’m going to give you. You’ve done so well so far. Can you count them out loud for me?” I recommend you stick with an under-20 number unless you’re going for some intense sadism.
14. If you want to, you can turn up the intensity on the wand massager before you jump into this counting process.
15. Once your partner agrees, the idea is that we want most of the spanks to fall around the 8/10 level of intensity. We’ll start closer to the 6/10 level and build up as we go – going no higher than a 9/10. We want each spank to be intense enough that if there were three or four in the row, they’d be very close to being unable to take anymore. The idea is that we’re going to spread them out as they count, though – saving the strongest spank for last.
16. Give a spank and wait for your partner to respond with the proper count and the verbiage you asked for. If they don’t respond properly, verbally remind them what you want to hear – and tell them they’ll have to start over because they didn’t do what you asked.
17. Give them another spank from your countdown. If you’d like to up the intensity or sensation, you can use your hand to rub their bottom after each spank to help “massage in” the pain. You can also verbalize your punishment/praise words after they finish thanking you for each spank. Ideally, each spank should be less than 15 seconds apart but no less than 5 seconds apart, so you have a bit of wiggle room for talking. Our purpose here is to help our partner climb up to an intense finish. To do this, we need to ensure that we’re building the anticipation and the intensity as we go.
18. You can stop to turn up the vibrator again or toy around with them in any way that works with your dynamic. The idea is to continue to build the anticipation, and making them wonder when the next spank will come is a lovely way to do that. Don’t spend too long between spanks though.
19. When you hit that final spank, feel free to make it the strongest of all of the spanks that you’ve given. If this is a punishment, once they’re slowly coming down from the intensity of that last spank, you might consider making them verbally repeat back to you what they’ll do better in the future. Don’t ask for thinking right now, but you can ask them to parrot your words back to you. (i.e. “Are you going to load the dishwasher properly in the future now, slave?” “Yes, Mistress”. “And that means the bowls go in the bottom, doesn’t it?” “Yes, Mistress”. “And the cups, those go on top, don’t they?” “Yes, Mistress”.) This is just further driving home your point; you’ll want to actually do any finite teaching when they’re in a better space to remember.
20. Now that your “scene” is done, you can choose what to do. If you’re doing this for fun, you might consider moving onto a different activity or sexual fulfillment. If this is punishment, I’d recommend some cuddles and a bit of aftercare to let them know that they did well. Either way, their arms are probably tired, so I’d recommend a change of positions at the very least.

Pre-Written Dirty Talk

• “Have you been bad? I can’t believe you [blank]. We need to correct that behavior so I never have to deal with it again.”
• “It was so disappointing when you did [blank]! Why would you disappoint me like that?!”
• “Seems like you’re enjoying this spanking, aren’t you?! Just look at how turned on you are!”
• “Let’s see how well this wand massager works. Maybe if I include your [dick/pussy/etc.] in your lesson, you might remember things better.”
• “It’s so hot when you take your punishment for me. It makes me [wet/hard/turned on/excited].”
• “Look at how red your ass is getting! I can’t wait to make it even redder. Maybe you’ll bruise tomorrow!”
• “I hope you end up with a bruise. Then you’ll remember how naughty you were every time you sit down.”
• “Aww, does some little naughty subbie want to cum? Sucks to be you. Maybe you’ll behave better next time.”
• “To finish your punishment, you’re going to take ten of my hardest hits. Count them and thank me for them. I’m being nice enough to teach you a lesson. Are you ready?”
• “I want to finish this with some harder hits. You’ve been amazing for me already, [pet name]. Can you take ten more? It’d be so hot if you could count out loud and thank me for them too. Just tell me if it’s too much. It makes me so [wet/hard/turned on/excited] to see you like this.”

Cautions!

If your partner has any issues with standing for long periods of time, this scene is a definite no-go. There’s really no fun in taxing your partner – or making them focus on how horrid their legs feel – instead of just taking some of this scene to the fun of a spanking bench.

Along with that, circulation issues can definitely impact this scene. Your partner’s hands will be above their head which, in the best of circumstances, can still cause someone’s hands to go numb from blood loss. While I’ve written in a quick break for hand comfort, feel free to take more breaks – or lower the bondage point to be in front of the person instead of above their head. You could even forego the bondage entirely and just allow the person to place their hands on the wall – and make sure to provide a bit of “extra incentive” if they move.

You also need to understand your own impact play skillset and knowledge. Most people can safely wield a paddle on the ass, but using a flogger on the upper back requires more skill. Do not play above your impact play skill level – because you can definitely hurt your partner. Stick with implements you know how to wield and save tougher ones for after you’ve done some practice.