Looking for tips for having sex in the water? Well, you’re in the right place!
Honestly, though, let me be upfront with you: having sex in the water is overrated. There’s so much “extra” stuff that has to be dealt with, and it honestly becomes more of a matter of “doing it” than getting more pleasure out of the experience because you added water.
That being said, it also is one of those things that people love to cross off their bucket list – and it can be naughty and enjoyable in the right context!
To make it go as smoothly as possible, it’s important that you do a bit of preplanning. Whether you’re planning it in an ocean or in your own shower, water makes for slippery surfaces – and not-so-slippery private areas.
These tips for having sex in the water will make your next underwater adventure go swimmingly. (Haha. Pun intended.)
Get You Some Hot Water
As most people know, cold water is the worst aphrodisiac possible – especially if erections are desired. If it’s possible, heat the water to a comfortable temperature. In some situations, like in the ocean or a pool, this may not be possible, so allow your body some time to get adjusted to the temperature.
This also means keeping your sexual escapade’s time limit in mind. If you know your shower has about 10 minutes of hot water, you have about 10 minutes of shower sex.
Really, the water getting cold is the worst way to end your sexual escapade. Try to plan to be out of the water long before that happens. Wouldn’t you rather end on a good note?
Get Into a Safe Sex Position
While it shouldn’t have to be said, safety comes first, and when we’re turned on, finding a safe sex position might not be at the forefront of our minds.
However, it’s important that you both have good footing and a good grasp on one another before getting too rough.
Especially in your own shower or bath, don’t be concerned about getting down onto hands and knees. It’s much better to have your stability than to end up in the ER because of awkwardly-explained broken bones.
Some sex toys companies now make specific shower sex accessories just to help you achieve the perfect position in your shower; consider those.
Remember: you can “preplan” any sex position you’d like. Simply take your bodies into the shower or bath and attempt to get into the position. This will quickly help you figure out if that standing sex position is even viable long before you try to enjoy the water while making it happen.
(For hot tub adventures, utilize stairs around your home to replicate the stairs and platforms of a hot tub. For ocean adventures, you’ll want to explore the potential of standing sex positions unless you’re utilizing the beach.)
Plan for the Downsides of Your Location
If you love doggy style on the bed, you might think that can translate perfectly to the beach.
But remember that every location you select will have downsides beyond the simple sex positioning challenges.
Pools and Hot Tubs:
- Have textured surfaces that may be painful to kneel on
- May have jets that bubble unexpected water into your face
- May include a lot of water movement that makes it difficult to hold on to sex toys
Oceans and Ponds:
- May have currents that attempt to jostle your bodies around every couple seconds
- May have sand/dirt you can slowly sink into, requiring regular readjustments
- May have soft banks that are impossible to get a good grip on
- May have unexpected level changes underneath your feet while trying to get a safe position
- May be difficult to cover up if someone discovers you
- May require bringing towels and blankets to avoid getting painful sand into private areas
- May not provide a nearby “surface” to rest things on, so lube reapplication may be difficult
Showers and Baths:
- Have limited space that can make positions difficult
- Have minimal surfaces/areas to “grab” onto for stability
- Tend to have slippery surfaces
- May have limited warm water capacity
While thinking of your own tips for having sex in the water, make sure to take these aspects of your location into account. Trying to get on your knees for doggy style in a hot tub may be more painful than pleasant!
Be Ready with Lubricant
Remember how you use water in the shower or bath to easily remove bodily fluids from your body? For example, if you just finished masturbating, you might try to wash away the semen or vaginal lubrication with the help of your hand (i.e. some friction) and a stream of water.
Guess what intercourse in the water is?
Friction and a body of water.
A lot of people are surprised to find out that vaginal lubrication mysteriously disappears for sex in the water. Turns out, those same properties that make a shower so nice for cleaning up bodily fluids can do the same thing in a pool – only now we don’t want it to!
This is why lubricant is so important for aquatic sex. Not just any lubricant, though. Water-based lubricant falls prey to the same problem as bodily fluids; it washes away with water.
You’ll want silicone-based lubricant. Silicone-based lube is resistant to water, and it requires soap – and some good back-and-forth washing motions – to get it off. Silicone-based lubricant can help make your water penetration a bit more comfortable regardless of whether that’s vaginal or anal.
Keep a tight grip on that silicone lube bottle too! Remember, we’re choosing silicone-based lube because it doesn’t wash away with water. That means that it won’t easily wash off your shower floor either. If you spill it, that entire spill zone is a no-go area for your own safety. I promise, trying to stand on a wet patch of silicone lube is going to be the most dangerous thing you’ve done this month.
Oil-based lubricant can also be used, but oil-based lubricant CAN NOT be used with condoms. It is generally not recommended for vaginal intercourse or with sex toys. Just FYI.
Understand Condom Difficulties
Not a ton of research has been done, but condoms aren’t tested for safety or durability in water. This can lead to higher breakage risks – especially if you’re in “unclean” water like a hot tub, pool, or ocean. Just like our skin, hot water and chemicals can affect a condom.
Have additional condoms and do regular checks for tears on your condom while enjoying yourselves.
If possible, try to rely on other safer sex barriers to reduce the likelihood of an issue with your condom.
Some experts also recommend placing the condom on outside of the water. Not only will this make for a better fit, but it will avoid trapping potential bacteria up against the urethra throughout your entire sex session. UTIs for penis owners aren’t as common, but they can still happen!
Water Safety
It’s also important to keep the safety of the water in the back of your mind.
Do you want to drink it? Then you definitely shouldn’t shove it up your holes.
Some sources of water are, literally, just natural water. The bacteria in ponds, lakes, and oceans is most-definitely not designed to be pushed into your mucous membranes.
Even the water you consider “clean” might not be a great fit for intercourse. Even a properly chlorinated pool is designed to be safe enough to swim in. It’s not designed to be snorted up your nose or pushed into your butt or vagina. At best, it isn’t pH-balanced, and the chemicals can be caustic to sensitive mucous membranes.
Natural, outdoor, or high-chemical water can cause rashes, irritation, infections, or worse when pushed into the super-sensitive internal parts of our body.
If you’re being as risk-averse as possible, do not push standing, non-treated water (of any type) into any orifice.
This means avoiding penetration of any kind – including fingers, dildos, or a penis – when playing in a pool, hot tub, pond, lake, or ocean. Instead, go with treated, drink-safe water, like a shower or recently-drawn bath, if you want penetration.
If these outdoor and high-chemical spots are still high on your fantasy list, though, remember that you can explore all forms non-penetrative play without those same risks. Honestly, there are hundreds of things you can do that wouldn’t involve penetration!
If you still want to enjoy penetration within non-treated water, be aware and ensure everyone consents to the risks. This may include:
- Doing regular check-ins about your anal/vaginal health in the weeks following the water sex.
- Ensuring you have the finances/insurance to pay for doctor’s appointments if something happens. This may include a negotiation about what the non-“affected” partner would contribute financially.
- Ensuring you have the space/time within your schedule to deal with an infection, rash, or irritation on your nether regions.
(Hey, you asked for tips for having sex in the water. I’m just giving you the honest truth!)
Use Sex Toys Safely
Bringing sex toys along for the ride? Just remember that not all sex toys are waterproof. Unless you enjoy owning a sex toy for a 5-minute excursion into the water before it goes into eternal slumber, ensure your aquatic choices are water-safe.
Especially if you’re playing in a Jacuzzi or area with lots of water pressure and moving water, ensure your sex toy is waterproof with all of the waterproof protective features (like charging cables or a super-tight base) in place. You don’t want to accidentally kill your “waterproof” toy because you forgot to screw the battery compartment tightly enough.
And, like in all areas of life, do NOT bring any wall-outlet powered toys in the water EVER. Get a rechargeable waterproof option if that’s something you want to do.
Final caveat: claiming waterproof capabilities is something a lot of cheap toy manufacturers do if they simply add a rubber ring to the base of the vibrator. These same companies will then make exceptions for “water damage” if you try to claim under their warranty policy. Ensure you fully trust your sex toy’s waterproof capabilities or you’re okay buying a new one if this kills it.
Plan Ahead for Bondage
All we’ve done so far is talk about having plain ol’ non-kinky intercourse in the water. If you want to add bondage or kink activities, I really would recommend reading Water Bondage 101 – which goes in-depth into the potential dangers of water bondage and various ways to mitigate that risk.
Honestly, Though: Just Get Out of the Damn Water
There’s a lot of foreplay fun that can be had underwater. You can enjoy lots of touching, making out, heavy petting, grinding, frottage, and more in the pool.
But think about the downsides of a long bath too. Pruny fingers feel super gross against another person’s pruny fingers. (That might just be me, though!) You probably have to pee at some point. Your clothing feels sopping-wet and heavy. The resistance of the water makes fast, quick movements nearly impossible – and turns them into a workout too. The things inside the water can be dangerous for shoving inside yourself.
There’s literally nothing wrong with enjoying all of the heavy petting in the water – then simply hopping out of the water for any actual penetration. Ideally, you hit a shower first to avoid pushing any pool water bacteria into the bum, vagina, or mouth, but from a risk awareness perspective, doing anything poolside is already leagues safer than doing it in the pool water itself.
This lets you have all of the fun of an erotic escapade in the pool while simultaneously avoiding most of the downsides of water-based sex – like lubricant issues, slickness issues, potential safety hazards, and pool bacteria.
Especially if you’re dealing with a heated pool, though, make sure your ambient temperature is just as warm – if not warmer! – than your pool water. Especially in private pools, the chilly air temperature compared to the warmed pool water can be a big sexual wet blanket.
Legal Issues
If you’re not having sex inside your home, and instead, doing it in public, do be aware of legal issues. In most places, having sex in public, whether in the water or otherwise, is illegal. Add that into your risk-profile if you choose to still move forward.
Originally Published: July 29, 2014.
Updated: January 2024, October 2023, August 2023, April 2023.
Thanks for reading my tips for having sex in the water article. Feel free to reach out with any questions!
