Everything You Need to Know About BDSM Gags

Welcome to my BDSM advice series on gags – where I’m going to walk you through some of the basics of these mouth-filling, voice-muffling toys.

Why Would You Use a BDSM Gag?

What isn’t to like about BDSM gags!? They’re an easy-to-use tool that can bring out a whole host of different feelings. A single mouth gag can provide feelings of vulnerability, helplessness, humiliation, frustration, embarrassment, submission, discomfort, suffering, and more. Our mouths are the way that we generally communicate with the world – in addition to being a relatively private space (how often do you let people touch and see inside your mouth?). Playing with these ideas brings up BDSM gags – sensual bondage items especially designed for wearing in the mouth.

First off, gags can drastically reduce the ability to speak. As speech is a large way of how many of us communicate with the world at large, this can instantly chance the entire headspace of the gag wearer. Instead of being able to form sentences, the person is now mumbling incoherently – and may not even be able to get any actual, functional words out. Since your partner won’t be able to talk, they’ve lost their most basic sense of communication – and protection. Many people tend to find that kind of feeling to be erotic.

Almost all of the bondage gags also cause the wearer to drool. If the mouth isn’t able to close around the gag, there’s no way to close the mouth – and most people can’t swallow without the ability to close the mouth. (Slimmer bit gags can be an exception. Some people can close their mouths around those.) This inability to swallow means that the wearer is going to be drooling – and drooling a lot. Not only is this embarrassing from a visual level for a lot of people who aren’t accustomed to drooling, but the fact that it’s uncontrollable and might feel uncomfortable can add further layers to the play.

Mouth gags can also physically force the body (the mouth especially) into a position that it isn’t used to being in. While gags don’t have to be uncomfortable, you can select gags with an intention to cause discomfort and suffering. For a lot of people into the “suffering” of a gag, the constant reminder of their suffering (similar to what you can find in rope bondage communities) is cathartic or submission-enhancing. (This is advanced-level play, though, and don’t engage in it to start!)

For a lot of people, the fact that the mouth gag can’t be removed is enough for them to find it erotic. Consider it like bondage – for the mouth. The fact that someone else is “enacting their will” on the wearer’s body can make mouth gags erotic all on their own – no other underlying feelings required. Just like the person might find it extremely erotic for a collar to be snapped around the neck, the person into these feelings will find it hot that they’re being “forced” to do something because their top wants – even if the specific feelings from the gag aren’t necessarily their jam.

Finally, certain mouth gags can really put the mouth on display. Especially with O-ring gags or spider gags, the wearer doesn’t have a way to close their mouth – which means their partner (and anyone else) can see inside of their mouth, can put fingers into it, and can generally see a generally-hidden part of the body. This can feel extremely vulnerable for a lot of people.

From a top’s point of view, you have a versatile toy that can add some new sensations, feelings of vulnerability, and versatility in your toolkit. A mouth gag can be used to induce some of those feelings we just covered – and when you don’t want your partner to talk for whatever reason, a gag pretty-instantly solves that.

Plus, lots and lots of people just find them hot to look at! And for most of us in the world of expensive lingerie and flattering outfits, finding something hot to look at is all you need.

However, even with this fun, sexual object, there are some issues you should consider before purchasing and owning a BDSM gag.

BDSM Gags Safety

Gags require a different kind of safety compared to other toys. While most other toys require communication, this will require more communication than most. Because the gags will cut off your partner’s ability to talk and use their safeword, you have to find other ways to communicate. Gags also tend to stretch the jaw in ways that the human body isn’t used to.

Before approaching gags, you both should sit down and talk about them. Gagging can bring a type of vulnerability that many women and men aren’t very used to. The vulnerability can scare and confuse some people, so make sure you’ve spoken in advanced about the idea of using a gag – especially a traditional gag. During your discussion, talk about an alternative safe word. I recommend having your “victim” hold some keys or hold an easy-to-squeak dog toy. If they feel like they want the play to stop or want you to check in, they can jingle or drop the keys or they can squeeze the dog toy and make it squeak. Make sure that, if your partner does use their “new” safe word, you obey it. Breaking trust by ignoring it is not the way to become a responsible player nor a responsible partner.

To avoid hurting the jaw too badly, you need to talk to your partner about what types of jaw injuries they’ve had. As a general rule, as you age, your jaw becomes less resilient to playing with the muscles of your mouth and jaw. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t discuss this with your partner. If they have jaw problems, you don’t have to avoid playing with gags – you just have to modify it a bit. However, if they don’t have any jaw problems that they know of, you can proceed with most traditional gags – you just have to be careful.

A gag should never be worn for more than twenty minutes or so if you are dealing with a beginner. The jaw muscles can fatigue very quickly, so let your partner know that. They don’t have to feel like they have to keep it in for ages for it to be fun for the both of you. As soon as it gets painful to take, they should let you know so it can be removed. As you both get more experienced with gags, you can begin to wear them for longer periods of time. Still, everything in moderation. Using gags too often could actually injure your jaw.

When it comes to using gags, there’s a couple things you should be aware of: For one, for the wearer, if they are new, it will probably hurt slightly or make your jaw feel sore. However, if it gets untolerable or spiked, it should be removed. For two, if the gag is worn long enough, it will make your jaw sore. For three, wearing a gag will cause uncontrollable drooling from most wearers. Of course, it depends on what type of gag it is, but for most traditional gags, it will cause the drooling. Let the wearer know of this before you put it on. Some people find it humiliatingly hot, and others will just find it humiliating and will want it out.

Another big point of using gags: They will impact your ability to breathe. If your “captive” is having allergies, a cold, the flu, or any problem breathing, save the gags for another day. It will make it a lot more difficult for them to breathe.

Learn More about the Types of Kinky Gags

Like pretty much every type of kink toy out there, it can’t just be super simple, can it? Nope. Kinksters are a crafty bunch of folks, and with that in mind, mouth gags have been created for different scenarios – and different looks – to give you a full toolkit full of different options to meet your needs.

So let’s talk about the types of BDSM gags, their pros and cons, and give you some idea about what type of stuff exists out there:

Homemade BDSM Gags

Homemade gags are any gags that can be found within your own home. Consider these DIY ball gags. Anything you have at home – that isn’t designed to be used as a gag – becomes a homemade gag as soon as it’s used to gag your partner.

Most common for the homemade gags are panties and scarves. Panties earn their spot in the homemade gag kingdom due to their close proximity to the genitals. Not only do you get the “taste” of your partner, but there’s some innate humiliation and embarrassment about being gagged with someone else’s underwear.

The other most-common gag is a scarf. I actually recommend scarves as the type of homemade gag you should be looking for if homemade is the only option available to you. Scarves can easily be tied around the head (so they don’t present a choking hazard), they’re usually thin enough to be cut with scissors or safety shears in an emergency, they’re very easy to launder, and they’re easy to get ahold of – and usually very cheaply too.

Good Things about Homemade Gags: The biggest upside to a homemade gag is that it’s essentially free. You just use objects around your home, and there you go: you automatically have a gag that’s going to be semi-functional.

This also comes in handy while traveling. You can pack an extra scarf to use for bondage and gagging, and the travel agent will be none-the-wiser. That isn’t necessarily the case for a silicone BDSM gag. That same can be said for your purse. If you want to gag your partner on a playdate after you’re favorite restaurant, you can easily toss a household object into your purse to work for later – and you don’t have to worry about anyone catching eye of anything weird.

Homemade gags, more-so than other gags on this list, can be machine-washable. You just toss them into the washing machine, and you’ll have a super-clean object when you’re done. If this is a good thing to you, you’ll want to ensure that you’re using a gentle laundry detergent that’s designed for ingestion. Most adults don’t necessarily wash their clothes with detergent designed for licking the laundry, but most baby-safe detergents will be a better alternative.

Some homemade gags can work better for those with jaw problems as well. Since you can control exactly how much material goes into the mouth, you can make a gag that’s much, much slimmer in size than a storebought option. You can get a super-sheer, thin scarf, and you’ll only have a few millimeters of material for your “gag”. While Bit Gags can be slim in size, they still can’t compete with something so slim if your wearer has jaw concerns.

Many homemade gags are also made out of fabric materials. This means that it soaks up any liquid (like saliva). This can drastically reduce how much drooling goes on – but it also means that your wearer can suffer from dryer mouth or the fabric can become so saturated that it becomes more of a choking hazard. Just some things to consider.

Problems with Homemade Gags: For a lot of people, they just don’t provide the same mental feeling as being gagged with other made-for-gagging toys. There’s a whole lot of eroticism that can surround BDSM gear like any of the mouth gags on this list, and using a scarf from home just doesn’t necessarily have the same sexual appeal.

One of the biggest problems with homemade gags is that they’re dangerous if used incorrectly. Mouth gags for BDSM are safer because they’re made for gagging – and are anchored outside of the mouth. You can easily imagine how a pair of panties – without any anchoring outside of the head – can start to slide into the back of the throat.

Finally, a lot of homemade gags also happen to have other memories attached. For some, this is part of the appeal. Wearing your partner’s panties (from that day) as a gag has memories attached – and those are positive ones. For others, attempting to use your favorite scarf as a gag is only going to bring up the last few times you wore that scarf, and if you’re like most people, you probably didn’t wear it for sexual purposes, and it might bring up that work presentation (and its progress) that you made while last wearing the scarf.

How to Make a Homemade Ball Gag?

When purchasing an item to act as a gag, remember some things. For one, feel the material and make sure it’s something soft and mouth-friendly. You don’t want anything itchy at your captive’s mouth and distracting them. The material should also be long enough to be tied around your captive’s head. If you want to get really advanced, try tying a knot in it and make sure the knot can be undone easily.

Most importantly: when playing with a Homemade gag, you NEED to ensure that you have safety shears nearby. A lot of soft, wearable fabrics hold knots really well, and that means getting the knots undone might be really difficult. You need to be able to remove the gag – quickly – in an emergency. That means having safety shears around. Really. Don’t half-ass this.

Next, I know you’re excited to learn how to make a homemade ball gag, but you also need to spend time thinking about how the gag will interact with the throat. What object are you using to make a gag? HOW are you anchoring that object outside of mouth – like around the head? The biggest danger of homemade gags is having something that can easily slide into the throat – and choke someone. Make sure you’re anchoring your homemade BDSM gag outside of the throat.

For something simple like a pair of panties, it can be as simple as making the person “wear” the panties around their face – then shoving the crotch into the mouth. It also could include getting a piece of ribbon then tying the panties on a knot on the ribbon. The panties go into the wearer’s mouth, the ribbon ties around the head, and you instantly have a choke-free bondage method. Fashion scarves are also fantastic as homemade gags because their length lends themselves really well to being tied around the head.

Next, you’ll want to think about the wearer’s comfort. Is the material you’ve selected comfortable to wear in the mouth? That sheer sequin scarf you own might look really pretty, but it’s going to tear up the soft tissue of the mouth. Some materials just taste gross – and you probably don’t want to use those as a mouth gag.

Don’t forget to think about cleanliness too. When was the last time that scarf was put through the wash? It probably has made it through a whole host of public bathrooms if you’re wearing it out, so it really needs to be cleaned before it goes into the wash. The same can be said for used panties. You want the wearer to taste “you” – you probably don’t want them to taste the germs from the outside world.

Ball Gags

Another type of popular gag is the ball gag. Many couples will experiment with the ball gag, and it’s actually a fun one to start with. A ball gag is a gag made specifically for gagging and usually includes a ball of some sort on a piece of some sort of fabric. The ball is slipped into your captive’s mouth then you fasten the straps around the captive’s head to get the gag to stay in place.

Good Things about Ball Gags: Ball gags provide a very “filling” when worn. They fill up the mouth really nicely. Unlike other types of gags on this list, ball gags tend to take up the most real estate inside of the mouth – which is what leads to that filling experience.

Wearing a ball gag can lead to some pretty intense vulnerability – because the size of the thick ball means that it’s near-impossible to close the mouth or speak. This leads to a lot more muffled speech than a bit gag – and it leads to a lot more drooling than a bit gag as well.

Ball gags also have that look going for them. Many people find the look of ball gags to be really hot. Just jump into most gag-focused porn. You’ll see a good chunk of them using a ball gag – and in many cases, that iconic, fire-engine-red ball gag to boot. A lot of people enjoy the look of a ball gag partnered with that helpless facial expression.

For three, different varieties of the ball gag are more widely available than other varieties of other gags. Most BDSM manufacturers make some version of a ball gag – while only a few manufacturers expand into bit gags, spider gags, dildos gags, or other gags on this list. Even some silicone dildo manufacturers have a few ball gags to offer! It’s just a very simple, iconic bondage toy to craft.

Problems with Ball Gags: Ball gags can be pretty rough on the jaw. Since ball gags need to sit behind the teeth, it essentially means that the mouth needs to open much-larger than the gag itself to allow the ball gag to get behind the teeth to rest there. It’s easiest to imagine it this way: the bottom and roof of the mouth should be resting on top of the ball gag while wearing it. This means that the

Getting a large object behind the teeth can require stretching the mouth (and jaw!) pretty far – which can be dangerous if you ignore the warning signs (like sharp pain) and choose to proceed anyway. I’ll have more info in the how to use ball gag section below, but the point is: you need to take it slowly, you might have to give up on using ball gags (or at least your specific gag!) entirely, and you need to be open to that option when you get them. While bit gags and slimmer gags can fit a wide variety of mouths without much issue, a ball gag is a much-more-intensive type of gag, and you need to be willing to walk away from its use for the safety of your partner if it comes to that.

Once the ball gag is into the mouth, having to stretch the mouth so vertically open can also be exhausting on the muscles. Think of how often we do that motion in our everyday lives. Unless you’re used to giving oral sex on a penis constantly, most of us don’t use those muscles much at all. This means ball gags tend to tire out the wearer faster – and will need to be removed sooner.

What makes a ball gag so filling is also what can make it problematic. Since a ball gag takes up more real estate in the mouth, it can conceivably – especially for those with a sensitive gag reflex – start causing gagging in people who are really sensitive. For seriously obvious reasons (it’s uncomfortable, you could vomit into a blocked mouth), ball gags can be dangerous for some with that-sensitive of a gag reflex to wear.

This real-estate feature can also get in the way of breathing. While it’s possible to breathe through the mouth while wearing other types of gags (like bit gags), it’s near-impossible to breathe through the mouth with a ball gag. If you have someone with obstructed nose airways, this means a ball gag is REALLY NOT a great idea. Some manufacturers make ball gags with holes in them (breathable ball gags) now to help with the breathing issue, but it only helps with the issue – doesn’t alleviate it. If the person regularly breathes through their mouths, I’d highly recommend a different type of gag.

As mentioned above, ball gags also tend to prohibit the mouth from entire closing. This leads to more drooling. While it can be a positive that helps lead to a submissive headspace, it can also be a negative if that person finds the sensation uncomfortable or if you’re trying to limit bodily fluids transmission.

Tips for Buying a Ball Gag

While BDSM ball gags are sold in many different forms, and you can probably find one for really cheap, you should avoid those cheap ones. There are two different concerns that are really major when it comes to buying ball gag – the material of the ball gag and the size of the ball gag. 

The size of the ball in the gag itself is your #1 concern when buying a ball gag. The boyfriend/submissive and I went through a lot of different ball gags just trying to find one that would work well with his mouth. The problem is: A lot of gags don’t mention what size the ball in the gag is. Many beginners will find that a lot of the “beginner” ball gags are way too large.

Sometimes I’m not even sure that the manufacturers have tried these gags on human beings – or maybe their in-house person who tried out the gag was a large-mouthed, large-framed person. But we’ve bought (and tried) gags that were never, ever going to go in a mouth I’ve ever played with; we’re talking 2″ diameters.

Depending on the body frame and head size of your partner, it’ll be before Hell freezes over that that ball gag will fit safely into your partner’s mouth. I recommend looking for ball gags with a ball between 1″ and 1.25″ in diameter for a lot of people – especially smaller-framed humans. Larger-framed humans might be able to go up to a 1.5″ diameter – or if you’re particularly experienced with the stretching and wear of ball gags, you might be able to go up to a 1.75″.

It’s better to try something smaller than something larger. The strap on the ball gag will always keep the ball gag from sliding down the throat – which essentially means: if you go too large, you can’t use the ball gag. If you go too small, you can use it, but your partner might not be as “stuffed” as expected. I’ll take the toy I can use anyday – even if it isn’t quite as “effective” as I wanted.

Another thing to consider is the material of the gag. Many gags are made from plastic, rubber, or another firm or dangerous material. This can be a problem for a couple reasons. For one, the gags that are made from harder materials are bad for your teeth. If you end up in the throes of pleasure and bite down, it could chip a tooth – or just end up with some really aggravating pain. Rigid plastic balls were never meant to sit in your mouth and hold your teeth open. Plus, plastic has nosort of give to make it comfortable to keep in your mouth.

Plus, many of the cheaper materials like plastic or rubber may have dangerous chemicals you shouldn’t ingest – and may just plain taste and smell like shit. If your goal is to have the gag wearer be able to focus on the sensations of wearing the gag – instead of trying to keep their tongue away from the gag so they don’t get an accidental taste of the terrible thing sitting in their mouth, I highly recommend other materials. Silicone has the softer, squishier properties of rubber – but without a taste or scent. It’s also more expensive than plastic and rubber – which is why you don’t often find it at the cheaper spectrum of ball gags.

This means that, instead of taking the cheaper option (even just to try it out), purchase a high-quality silicone ball gag with a smaller sized-ball. It won’t run you much more than a cheaper option, and you know it will be a better experience. If possible, before purchasing, read the reviews of the product to make sure it has exactly what you want from it.

If you want my recommendation, I completely recommend this: Aslan Silicone Ball Gag. It’s made by a reputable company, is a pretty decent price, is made from scent-free silicone, is a really nice sized ball (1.5 inches), and has gorgeous, supple leather straps. It’s one of the ones I really enjoy, and it’s the first one we actually tried that didn’t entirely suck. It pretty much took my opinion of gags from “this is never going to work” to something we could enjoy.

Bit Gags

The bit gag has a little bit of a different history. It was originally made to be used for those in the pony play kink – which is why it looks so close to the equestrian version. Just like the ball gag, a strap of sturdy fabric wraps around the head, but with a bit gag, a ball doesn’t go into the mouth. Instead, the “gag” is actually a long, skinny bar (usually made of squishy-ish materials) that goes inside of the mouth. The wearer then bites down on the “bit”, and depending on the design, the “bit” itself may stick out of the mouth on both sides as well.

Bit gags do not generally go behind the teeth like ball gags do. Since nothing needs to fit behind the teeth line, this can make bit gags much, much more comfortable for wear – and a much-better choice for those with jaw concerns.

The first bit gags were designed for this pony play kink, so the design looks similar to the one we use on biological horses – and generally included two large O-rings on each side of the bit to attach “reins” to for pony play.

As the bit gag has caught on in popularity, manufacturers have moved away from the equestrian looks of the original bit gags. Some bit gags may look closer to soft, flowing scarves than the hardware-focused bit gags that started off the bit gag trend.

Good Things about Bit Gags: The coolest benefit of bit gags: they’re much, much gentler on the mouth. Not only do they not require opening the mouth nearly as widely as any other gag type does, but they also allow the mouth to stay semi-closed while wearing the gag. This can make it the gag of choice for those who have jaw pain issues – or just have smaller mouths that are proving difficult to find a well-fitting gag of the other types. This is also one of the big reasons I recommend bit gags for mouth gag beginners: they’re super easy to wear, to put on, and very comfortable – which can make them a sexual, sensual, and reliably pleasurable first experience.

Another benefit of this slimmer design is the improved ability to breathe. Since bit gags are small enough for air flow to still go in and out of the mouth while the gag is in, these gags are much, much easier for people to breathe in – especially if your partner happens to be a “mouth breather” who rarely uses their nose to breathe. For anyone who has a chronic, never-ends nose-breathing concern but still wants to play with mouth gags (and definitely use caution!), bit gags can be a bit of a compromise since they still allow mouth breathing. (Impaired mouth breathing, but much-more-easily than other kink mouth gags on this list.)

Some of these bit gags also have the “pony play” appearance to them. If any type of pony play is in your future, this can definitely be a benefit. The “pony play”-looking bit gags may have large O-rings on the sides of the gag as well – which can be a good place for further bondage or pony play decoration. (I highly, highly recommend being very cautious about strong tugging with anything attached to the mouth/head; consider the bondage points here just for decoration.)

Since a lot of people can close their lips around the bit gag while wearing it, bit gags tend to be one of the few gag types that may not induce much drooling. I’m not someone who necessarily finds drooling to be erotic – more-so an excepted side effect of most gags – so the fact that bit gags have minimal drooling is definitely a plus for me. (But it could be a negative for you!)

Problems with Bit Gags: Depending on the bit gag’s design, the “bit” may put a lot of pressure on the corners of the mouth and the inner cheeks. If your partner has any sores or has thin/sore/sensitive corners of the mouth (like during the dry, dehydrated seasons), this can feel relatively uncomfortable.

Another large downside to bit gags is that they don’t entirely muffle speech. While the words will definitely come out sounding ridiculous, they’re not entirely incomprehensible like ball gags or other gags. Because bit gags allow for more movement of the tongue and lips, it’s like a muffled version of the wearer wanted to say. I liken it to trying to communicate while brushing your teeth. It’s definitely garbled, but with a bit of context, the other person can likely figure out what you’re trying to say.

Bit gags don’t necessarily have the same “considered-sexy” look as ball gags do either. You will rarely see them featured in porn outside of pony play scenes, and they’re pretty much absent in most mainstream porn. This means a lot of people haven’t really eroticized the look of bit gags – which means they might not look as sexy to you as other options.

While the popularity of the bit gag is picking up, it still isn’t nearly as popular as ball gags. This means that the available bit gag options and features aren’t nearly as expansive as ball gags. You probably won’t be able to fit bit gags in every color of the rainbow – or crafted into cute shapes and colors. This has gotten better since 12 years ago when I originally wrote this article, but the two are still nowhere-near-comparable.

And of course, the counterpoint of the “benefits” mentioned above might also be “cons” for you. The bit gag doesn’t induce as much drooling as the other BDSM gags on this list. It also isn’t as thick in the mouth – so it doesn’t necessarily feel as “filling” in the mouth for the wearer either.

Tips for Buying a Bit Gag

Just like the ball gags mentioned above, you’re going to want to pay attention to material. While most bit gags tend to be made from plastic, leather, or silicone (there isn’t a whole lot of rubber or weird materials here), it’s still possible to bump into kinky pony gags that are made from less-than-pleasant materials.

First you need to consider the cleaning aspect. What materials will be easy to clean and sterilize after a use – especially if you know multiple people might be using this gag? I highly recommend going for non-porous materials (plastic or silicone) for that purpose; you can sterilize them (unlike leather). Don’t forget about your partner’s make-up habits as well. It’s likely that lipstick will get on the gag, so whatever gag you select needs to be wiped clean after you’re done playing.

Second, you need to consider how the material will smell or taste. Silicone is the very-clear winner here because pure (and clean!) silicone is tasteless and scentless. However, some people really love the erotic taste and texture of leather – which is why it can be a choice for a bit gag. And plastic really varies: some plastic might be pretty tasteless and textureless while others might have a lot of plasticizers that make things taste terrible.

Finally, consider the type of play you’ll be doing. Since there’s a lot more wiggle room in the mouth while using a bit gag – it’s a lot easier for the wearer to suddenly bite down on the gag during play. If you know you’ll be doing a lot of rough play – or a lot of play with sudden surprises, you may want to ensure that the bit gag’s material is soft-ish and squishy to ensure you won’t hurt the person’s teeth. Plastic is pretty darn unforgiving.

Don’t forget to read reviews before deciding on the final kinky horse mouth gag you’re going to select. Gags can be made from varying levels of quality materials – and poor-quality materials might mean that the mouth gag just doesn’t feel comfortable – at all. Unfinished metal can cut into skin, too-tight designs can cut into skin, bit gags with unfinished spots can tear up the mouth and tongue – all of those things are things we have personally encountered in kinky mouth gags. Reading reviews can really help, or if you have a local kink shop, go support them by checking the gag out in-person which gives you the chance to ensure everything is silky-smooth before purchase, too.

Dildo Gags

Like the name implies, dildo gags are attached to, well, a dildo! The “dildo” attached to this dildo gag can face either way. It can protrude from the wearer’s face (for another person to “use” them) or it can go down the wearer’s throat (for a more phallic-feeling gagged experience).

People like them because, well, there’s a dildo. And it’s attached to someone’s face in some manner. It’s pretty easy to see why people would enjoy this type of mouth gag.

Good Things about Dildo BDSM Gags: I’m always in favor of strapping dildos anywhere on the body that seem like a good sexual choice for you and your partner(s)! That includes dildo gags as well. While I make some notes about safety below, the ability to strap a dildo onto someone’s face can be a useful tool for humiliation – or just a neat way to involve someone in sexual play that’s usually “impossible”. How often are you, literally, at bird’s eye view of a dildo – because you are the dildo?

Dildo gags are a particularly favored choice among those who do a lot of solo play – and love giving blowjobs. Since you only have two hands (and dildo suction cups can be a bit frustrating at times), using a dildo gag (that faces down the wearer’s throat) allows the wearer to enjoy all of the lovely sensations of phallic oral sex while leaving both hands free for play on other parts of the body.

Problems with Dildo Gags: Depending on which way the “dildo” faces (whether inside of the mouth or outside of it), you could have different problems.

If the “dildo” is inside of the wearer’s mouth, you’ll want to be extra-careful about gagging – literally, gagging on an object. Some of the dildo gags go pretty deep into the throat (or your partner may have a sensitive gag relax), and if it causes them to throw up, the inability to remove the dildo gag from their mouth can be a serious safety concern. Make sure to keep this in mind – and experiment with non-fastened wear a few times to ensure the dildo gag isn’t going to cause that issue.

If the “dildo” is outside of the wearer’s mouth, one of your biggest concerns is harming the mouth, jaw, and teeth from weight and pressure. Turns out, the jaw and teeth weren’t really designed to support an entire person’s bodyweight, so when you see those videos of someone “riding” a dildo mouth gag strapped onto someone’s face, you should be slightly concerned. To alleviate this, avoid putting any weight onto the dildo gag in the first place; choose sex positions where the gagged person is the one doing all of the moving. This could include having the dildo-enjoyer lay back and just enjoy the person’s administrations – or having the dildo-enjoyer just stand and “force” the dildo gag wearer to do all of the thrusting.

What you don’t want to do is any sort of queening sex positioning or any sex position that has the person “sitting” on the dildo gag wearer’s face. If you’re really into the idea of riding someone’s face while a dildo is attached, choose a strap-on harness that doesn’t involve the teeth and jaw. This way, the person can close their mouth, and you’re back to the usual risks of queening/kinging and sit-on-top-of-the-face sex positions.

Tips for Buying a Dildo Face Gag

One of the biggest concerns with a dildo face gag is just ensuring that you select a good material. For some reason (probably because of how phallic it is – or how much extra material is needed!), a lot of dildo face gags are still made from porous, icky-tasting materials. When starting your search for a dildo gag for face, try to narrow down your choices down to silicone options – or at the very least, go for plastic. (I highly recommend silicone for the teeth’s safety though!)

While you’re there, pay attention to the length and thickness of the dildo – no matter which way the dildo is designed to be worn. You don’t want a dildo that’s too long on either end. If it’s too long for the wearer, they’ll gag – and it could eventually lead to choking on vomit. (Seriously not sexy). If it’s too long for the person who will ride the dildo, they won’t be able to fully enjoy themselves – especially if the dildo is too thick for them to comfortably slide onto.

Duct Tape Gags

While this technically falls under “gags from household objects”, I feel like it deserves its own category because of the popularity – there are a lot of people who only like gags made from duct tape, and they have no interest in any other BDSM-specific mouth gags mentioned on this list.

Duct tape gags are exactly what they sound like – gags made from duct tape. A strip of duct tape is torn off the roll and stuck over the wearer’s mouth.

Good Things about Duct Tape Gags: Duct tape is accessible to virtually anyone – and you probably already have a roll or two at home. If you don’t, a couple of dollars will net you hundreds of potential duct tape gags on a single roll. For people who can’t shop online or get ahold of standard mouth gags, a duct tape gag can help fill the role of a gag without the same hardships.

Nothing can beat it for discretion either; no one is going to assume a roll of duct tape sitting around your house is used for bondage and sex purposes. There’s nothing to “hide” about rolls of duct tape. They’re just standard household objects.

Duct tape gags have a specific visual going on as well. They have that “captured” look to them that other, more-complicated gags can’t really achieve. Duct tape gags can also be customized in an instant – and pretty cheaply. Just buy a different color roll of duct tape – and done.

Problems with Duct Tape Gags: The most obvious problem with duct tape gags is the pain. Do you enjoy tape being ripped off your skin? For most of us, even the idea of ripping off a adhesive bandage is a “nope”. Now imagine doing that to the very-sensitive skin of your mouth. That’s pretty much the biggest problem with duct tape gags; it requires ripping tape off of the skin when you’re done.

Some people also don’t like the scent or taste of the duct tape gag. I can’t really tell you if it’s particularly healthy for you to be breathing in and ingesting duct tape adhesive. I’ll be upfront and say that I haven’t looked for medical journal information about this (because I’m not sure it would exist), but it is something to consider when playing with duct tape gags.

Another noticeable issue is that duct tape gags aren’t reusable. For some people, that might not be something to consider. For others who try to limit environmental impacts, duct tape gags can go in the same realm of saran wrap bondage – single-use items that eventually build-up your waste output over time.

O-ring Gag / Spider BDSM Gags

An O-ring gag, or otherwise known as a spider gag, is a metal circle, attached to a strap of fabric, that is slipped behind the teeth to hold the mouth open. Many submissives who will be pleasing a penis orally choose this type of gag – although it really depends on how large the O-ring on the gag is.

Upsides of O-Ring Gags: Spider gags hold the mouth open to possibly provide oral sex. As we’ll note below, that doesn’t always work how most people think it’s going to work, but it is a main reason a lot of people explore O-ring gags and Spider gags.

If you’re into drooling, this gag also can produce the most drooling out of all of the different types of BDSM gags.

A lot of people also find the “open mouth” design extremely intimate and vulnerable. Not only can you not close your mouth, but your partner is able to insert anything they want, probe around with their fingers, look inside your mouth in a way that you really only allow your dentist to do, and things like that. It’s really ripe for a lot of types of humiliation – or just for feeling “exposed” with your partner.

Problems with O-Ring Gags: This gag is much harder to find than the other varieties. This gag also has less options to choose from; it’s mostly just a metal ring and that’s it. There’s not a whole lot you can do to “spice up” a metal ring.

When it comes to wearing this “kinky blowjob gag”, many of the rings that are tolerable to wear won’t fit a penis through it. You have to walk a balanced line here. The gag needs to be slim enough that it doesn’t hurt the person wearing the gag – but still needs to have the large-diameter necessary for a penis to slide through. Unless your penis is of a smaller diameter, you’ll likely find that these types of BDSM gags don’t allow the oral sex you had in mind. (Pay special attention to the measurements of the gag when you’re picking it up if this is your goal!)

The metal of the ring itself can also tend to lead to a sore inner mouth after wearing it for an extended period of time. This gag will hold the corners of the mouth open and may tend to harm someone who has a jaw injury or isn’t used to wearing gags.

It’s also worth noting that metal in the mouth can have the problem you might expect when placed in the mouth: tooth chipping. If you’re particularly rough, the O-ring mouth gag doesn’t fit right, or you’re not careful removing it or putting it in, the unforgiving metal can most definitely damage your teeth.

When purchasing, make sure you purchase something of high quality. Low-quality spider gags can present a couple problems from unfinished metal (that cuts up your partner’s mouth while wearing it) all the way from flimsy head strap attachment that causes the O-ring to come off and potential present a choking hazard.

When putting these on, you also will want to be extremely careful. Since they are only made of metal, a mishap with the placement could cost your subbie a tooth. Since this article was originally published in 2010, silicone-style open mouth BDSM gags have actually come into popularity. Almost all of the manufacturers use a lips open mouth gag style that looks a little comical, but it has the benefit of being much gentler on the mouth and teeth – and avoiding some of the metal-related issues I’ve brought up here.

This isn’t really one of those beginner BDSM gags, so I recommend you start with the other gags before you approach this one.

	Scandal Silicone Stopper Gag	Fetish Fantasy Extreme Silicone O-Ring Gag (Shown Above)
Opening Diameter	1.5″	1.5″
Mistress Kay’s Notes	This looks like a play off the silicone “lips” design shown below. Instead of always having an opening, the Stopper Gag includes a chained “stopper” that can be placed into the gag.	If the look of the O-ring is what you’re really into, this silicone version helps alleviate some of the concerns about hard, rigid bits touching the teeth. Try to keep the O-ring behind the teeth line.
	Get It Here	Get It Here

Humiliation Mouth Gags

Finally, we have an entire category of mouth gags I call the “humiliation” mouth gags. These are the gags that go into the mouth that are specifically designed for humiliation – and actually tend to be way more “functional” than the other types of mouth gags on this list.

For example, a pretty common gag for humiliation includes a toilet paper holder on it – where the toilet paper roll can be strapped to the wearer’s face like they’re the toilet paper dispenser. Other popular versions include a toilet cleaning brush mouth gag, ash tray mouth gag, feather duster mouth gag, and more.

Benefits of Humiliation Mouth Gags: Like you can imagine, these gags are specifically crafted for humiliation. With that in mind, they do their job. There’s something very personal and very private about our mouths. We mostly use them for sexual purposes – and eating and drinking. Most of us don’t use our mouths for much more than that. So turning our very-private mouths into “tools” via BDSM gags with attachments is really messing with a very personal, very private place on our bodies.

Not to mention, mouth gags are attached to the face. This instantly means that any activity you ask someone to do with their mouth gag is going to include their face. How often do you literally put your face in the toilet while cleaning it? I’d have to guess “not many”. This is part of why humiliation mouth gags bring out those vulnerable, submissive feelings.

Humiliation mouth gags also have the benefit of being very creative kink tools all on their own. While the rest of the gags on this BDSM Advice Series article are all very functional for gagging the wearer, humiliation mouth gags have the added benefit of being unique enough to be a focus of a part of a scene. While you can certainly ask your partner to stand in the corner during a shower and hold your towel while humiliated and gagged, it adds a different dynamic to the scene if the submissive has a roll of toilet paper strapped to their mouth – and is forced to be the “useful” toilet stand.

Problems with Mouth Gags for Humiliation: The biggest problem is really just the material. Since these gags are in, many cases, actually designed as a “gag gift” or “for novelty use only”, the materials on some of these gags is pretty subpar. Most of them avoid any porous, jelly materials, but hard plastic with large internal gagging mechanisms are pretty common.

Mouth gags for humiliation also require an extra attention towards safety. Similar to the “dildo gags” issue, these humiliating mouth gags are designed to performing various acts with your mouth. Your mouth, jaw, and teeth are not really designed to be picking up and holding heavy objects; we’re not dogs in that regard (which is what makes this also a common concern for puppy play). Make sure you take care with the activities you ask your humiliation mouth gag wearer to do, and make sure you keep the weight as light on their gag as possible. A toilet paper roll is unlikely to harm things, but don’t go about hanging your 20 pound wool robe from their mouth gag.

There’s also a decent issue with over-sexualized packaging with these types of gags. You should likely expect to see a half-naked person dressed in lingerie on the packaging on most of these types of gags.

Other Varieties of BDSM Gags

Other varieties of mouth gags include the Jennings Mouth Gag and all sorts of different medical supply gags. Since I don’t have any experience with them, I don’t feel it’s my place to include any information or buying tips on them. However, just know that they do exist out there.

How to Use Gags

Putting a gag on a person is pretty easy depending on what type of gag it is. Take extra care with anything that might harm someone upon insertion or removal (like the metal designs of spider gags), but for the most part, how to use ball gag and other gags is really simple.

1. Make sure you both have talked about using kinky gags – what you’d like, what you don’t like, what appeals to you about it, and what would be a big turn off about it. You should have worked out your non-verbal (!!!) safe word, and both of you should know exactly what it is. You should have talked about your partner’s jaw problems and if they feel sick or have a stuffy nose, you should wait for another day to attempt this.

What is a non-verbal safe word? It’s a safe word that doesn’t require your voice or mouth to use. Since your mouth will be stuffed and your words will probably be muffled, a non-verbal safeword allows you to communicate issues you’re having without needing to talk. Common examples include an easy-to-squeeze squeaky toy in the hand, an easy-to-ring bell in the hand, clapping, double-tapping onto the table or onto the Top’s body, and things like that. The important thing is that it needs to be easy to do and easy to notice. Especially if you play with music, consider multiple forms of non-verbal safe words. You might not hear a squeaky toy, but you’ll probably notice if your partner raises their hand.

2. Choose the type of gag you will be using. Especially if this is your first time using a gag, your partner should be in on this discussion and decision-making process – and the discussion of which gag to use should have been included under the negotiations of Step #1. Do NOT spring a random, newly-bought gag on your partner last minute. If this isn’t your first time using BDSM gags, you may want to consider if your partner is sore from the last time you used a gag – and choose a smaller gag or a different gag that isn’t likely to leave the same soreness.

3. Wash the gag. For serious. I don’t care if it was washed before you last put it into storage – it probably has gunk on it again. If it’s going into the mouth, it really should be as humanly clean as possible – which likely means cleaning it right before it’s going into your partner’s mouth. You can do this before the scene if you place the gag on a clean or sterile surface until it’s time to use the gag, but I find there can be an extra layer of fun, excitement, and anticipation if I make my partner kneel/stand and watch as I clean the object that’s about to go into their mouth. Better yet, make them clean it themselves while you remind them about what’s coming next.

3. Slide the mouth gag into your partner’s mouth – carefully. It works best to have your submissive hold the gag in their mouth while you strap on the straps. This having been said, exactly how BDSM gags go into the mouth is going to vary on the kinky gag that you’re working with.

Obviously, the bit gag is the easiest. Your partner just holds the bit gag in their mouth like they would any other object. With most bit gags at slightly larger than the diameter of a toothbrush, most people have no issue holding a bit gag in with their teeth and very little mouth stretching. (I prefer bit gags for play for this reason; while ball gags can be hit or miss for me, pretty much any partner has been able to use a bit gag.)

The ball gag is harder. Depending on the size, it may be a little bit difficult to get the ball in. It will take a little bit of pressure, but don’t force it too much. Ball gags are supposed to sit right behind the teeth themselves, so you will have to pop the ball behind the teeth. Have your subbie sit with their mouth open and warn them they feel some pressure, but if it becomes lots of pain to let you know.

Position the ball in front of their teeth and push it back behind their teeth. As we covered above, most ball gags are absolutely fucking ridiculous in size. (Swearing required here.) There’s no reason that a ball gag needs to be 2″ in diameter to be enjoyable – and especially if your submissive is slimmer bodied, that ball gag just isn’t going to fit. If the ball gag looks too big before you even begin, don’t even bother with trying; you’re just likely to cause your partner pain. There’s only so large the mouth can open without doing damage, and you should err on the side of caution here.

For ball gags that are a comfortable size, though, it’ll likely feel a bit pressure-y – then the pressure will mostly release as soon as the ball gag is in place and the person can clamp their teeth around it to close their jaw a bit more. Again, slight pressure is normal – any sort of sharp pain is NOT. Make sure you have a way that your partner can communicate the difference to you – and make sure you tell them that it’s expected that they communicate this to you. People new to BDSM might think they need to tolerate the pain because that’s what this is – whereas you could be causing jaw problems and possibly permanent issues.

It’s just an object. If the ball gag isn’t fitting, don’t worry about it – and explore different mouth gag options. It’s not worth hurting your partner over.

A metal O-ring gag or metal spider gag requires sliding the O-ring sideways horizontally into the mouth, and then moving it vertically so it will sit vertically right behind the teeth – keeping the mouth open. If your O-ring gag is made from silicone, most of them can be “squished” into a smaller shape in order to get them into the mouth – then gently expanded to force the mouth open.

4. From here, instruct your partner to hold the gag in their mouth. You can go behind them and pull the straps behind their head to strap the gag on.

If this is the person’s first gag, ensure that you can comfortably get a finger or two between the strap and person’s head. If this is someone who is used to gags, you probably want to go with snug – but not tight. The strap shouldn’t droop on their head, but it shouldn’t be squeezing the head either.

The sole purpose for this strap is to ensure the gag is unremovable by the wearer – the strap is NOT there to support the weight of the gag. Your partner’s mouth already has the gag in it – and is supporting all of the weight. This means looser is better than tighter. Too tight, and the strap will put pressure on the corners of the gag which means it will cut into the (really sensitive and thin) corners of the mouth. I promise you, that is not a place where people like to be cut. Too loose, and the worst that happens is that your partner can spit out the gag – which isn’t all that terrible in the scheme of things. Some discipline and popping the gag back in, and you’d be all-good-to-go.

The biggest part of tightening the straps is just to communicate with your partner. You don’t want them to be in pain because it’s too tight.

As a sidenote, some mouth gags come equipped with locking buckles. These locking buckles include a small, empty circle built into the buckle itself. When fastened, you can slide a lock into this empty circle – and it will “lock” the gag onto the wearer. I’m highly, highly against locking buckles at this point in your gag-wearing journey. If you’re having to read a how to wear kinky gags article, you’re not at a point where you have the experience to be utilizing them.

While hot, locking buckles also mean that you have multiple extra steps to remove your partner from the gag – including getting the key, unlocking the lock, taking it out, and more. Especially if the BDSM gag wearer is new to wearing gags, panic, fear, or choking can set in easily (most of us are NOT used to not being able to swallow). The gag may also get really painful or uncomfortable when you’re still getting used to it. For all of these reasons, removing the gag from the wearer ASAP is important – and a locking ball gag gets in the way of that.

You can always buy a locking mouth gag for future use – but just leave the locking aspects out of things until you have at least 20-ish experiences with that specific gag and that specific partner under your belt. You’ll know how they react to it, how it it fits them, and your partner will be able to speak up when they know something is off.

5. Now that you have the mouth gag set up, have fun with the gag in. I find it amusing to ask them questions that I know they’d want to answer (“Do you want to touch me?”, etc.) and take their lack of ability to speak as a no. It’s pretty fun. If humiliation is a turn-on for them, enjoy humiliating them. (“Oh, you’re drooling. Even toddlers have learned to stop drooling.” etc.)

Enjoy playing with your newly-gagged partner, but please be aware of their safeword and keep an eye out for it. Gags can get tiring very quickly when you are still new to them. Most people will generally only be able to go 5-15 minutes on their first wear – despite what you’ve seen in porn. Especially with ball gags where the mouth fatigue is real, expect your partner to tap out sooner rather than later, and plan accordingly.

6. When it’s time to come out, instruct them to hold the gag in, and undo the straps on the back. From there, if possible, I recommend letting them take it out themselves. This ensures they’re opening their mouth when necessary and getting to collect more data for themselves to help you with insertion in the future. If they’re unable to take out their own mouth gag, be careful and gently take the gag out; their jaw will be sore by now.

That’s it! Easy, right? Enjoy your new-found gagging experience, and feel free to email me if you have any further questions! I can’t know what I missed unless you tell me, and I want to make this how to wear kinky gags article as comprehensive as possible!

Read Other BDSM Advice Articles

• BDSM Advice Series: How to Use Bondage Tape
• BDSM Advice Series: BDSM Nipple Clamps
• BDSM Advice Series: Riding Crop for BDSM
• BDSM Advice Articles

Updated in: May 2024, May 2023, October 2022, September 2022, February 2022, October 2021, August 2021, July 2021, May 2021.

Originally Posted: April 19, 2012