UPDATE MARCH 2023: Sexuations Board Game is no longer in production. This review remains as a reference for anyone who is looking for information. While you’re here, why not check out my BDSM advice, femdom advice, BDSM Scenes Step by Step, Enema 101 information, beginner pegging positions, and Should I Buy a Fleshlight?
I was at my local bookstore during a close-out sale and saw this little board game and decided to splurge the (after sale price) of $7. I’ve looked around on the internet for some place to buy this board game, but I can’t find any, so I figure I’ll write this review on the chance you come across the board game yourself.
The box is really pretty and looks really classy. It looks like it would definitely ensue a romantic night. It also boasts that its “1,000 games for the sexually adventurous”. I don’t know where they found that claim, but it’s definitely false. However, this game dose provide some good amusement.
First off, it includes a couple different things. There is a cute red silk scarf, a red paddle, a little purple feather, a small “bedtime stories + instructions” booklet, a spinner, a erronous zones “map”, and lots of different playing cards. Let me first tell you how this game works.
From what I’m surmised, you start out with the spinner and spin it. You can land on six different options: Classroom 101s, Erogenous zones, Pillow Talk, Role with It, Spice Rack, or Truth or Dare. From there, you basically do what the card tells you to do. Some of the cards will include using the map, using the paddle, using the feather, or using the scarf. The spinner itself isn’t too bad of a value. It’s not amazing, but it doesn’t stop until it’s about half-way around the spinner. It works best if you place it on a flat surface.
So if you pick a pillow talk card, it’s just a question about yourself. Some of them are somewhat intimate, some-not. For example, “What would you have as your last meal?”, “What did you want to be when you grew up?”, “Describe something you’ve fantasized while on the job”, or “Tell me something that no one else knows about you.” All of the questions are made to get you talking about intimate details of yourself to your partner.
If you land on an erogenous zone, you will pick one of the cards. Each card has a different part of the body like “Feet”, “Back”, “Lips”, or “Arms”. Then you pick up your trusty erogenous zone map and find the statement that correlates with the body part you picked. For example, the “Arms” activity says “Lightly scratch”. If you pick “Back”, it tells you to “Massage the shoulders, or lightly stroke the spine”. The erogenous zone map is also reversible with a swim-suit clothed male on one side and swim-suit clothed female on the other. It’s in a nice, sexual purple color. Both sides activities are the same regardless of gender.
If you land on Spice Rack, it gives you semi-kinky things to do with your play. For example, one card suggests that you place mirrors around your bedroom to watch yourselves. Another suggests that you only pull down the clothes needed to have sex and leave the rest on. Another suggests you use the scarf to tie up his hands and have fun with him. My biggest complaint with these cards is the fact that most of them are end-all cards. Once you draw the card, most of them include having sex or oral sex. I suppose if you chose to have sex then go back to the game, it would be okay, but most people usually use games to lead them up sex and to finish.
If you land on Truth or Dare, there are two different options on each card just like traditional truth or dare. For example, the “Truth” is “Have you ever watched others having sex?” while the Dare is “Hae sex in front of a window.” Which, once again, comes back to the problem I was talking about before. A lot of these are end-all cards. Another is “Truth: Have you ever had a threesome? Ever wanted to?” while the Dare is “Flirt with another couple”. So unless you’re playing this with another couple, this dare is not really do-able at the time. Another example is “Truth: Share a sexual experience you regret” while the Dare is “Go down on your partner in the movie theater.”
If you land on Classroom 101, you are met by cute little cards that tell you had to better do things. For example, there’s Filmmaking 101, PDA 101, Massage 101, Striptease 101, and Dungeon Master 101. In my opinion, these are some of the best cards in the set. Each card includes about six or seven “hints” to do it. For example, the Filmmaking 101 topic gives tips on the script, the lighting, the props, the angles, and reminds you to keep it safe so others can’t access it.
If you land on the last one, “Role with It”, you have lots of things in store. When it comes to this game, “Role with It” does make up the bulk of the cards and of the accessories. Each card is very simple. There’s a Who, What, and Where and you’re supposed to roleplay it. For example, the Who is the UPS driver, the What is the Uniform, and the Where is the Garage. Another is Who: Librarian, What: Eye Glasses, and Where: Library. Not bad, but the “What” sometimes would be things that you didn’t have like a Yoga Mat or a Uniform. Either way, those are still fun to roleplay, and almost all the suggestions are not the typical “Teacher/student” or “Cop, Arrested person” scenarios. I’ve never even heard of half of them, but most of them sound unique and fun.
One thing that I did want to add about the cards is that they are not playing-card sized. They are about two inches wide and three inches tall. They don’t fit into any sort of playing card box for storage.
The little book just includes short stories to read together or alone for motivation or arousal. It follows the same format as the “Role with It” cards and includes the “Who, What, Where” then tells a couple pages of the story, and leaves it off at an arousing part for the two of you to act out or just to finish the story verbally. There are seven different stories in this 64 page booklet. For example, (And I found this hilarious) it does have the UPS story in the booklet, and the last line it leaves off with is “She has plans for a package all right, but not the one thrown on her desk.” They are good erotic story starters, though. I’d enjoy reading through them or completing the story.
The paddle is pretty small. It’s painted red, and I have a feeling that, with time, the paint would definitely chip off. It’s smooth wood, though, so I don’t have any worries about splinters. The area of the paddle only covers about two inches all the way around, so it’s not for large area spankings. There’s a half-inch hole at the end of the handle to perceivably hang it up. This paddle is something you’d play only a little bit with because it’s pretty uncomfortable to hold onto.It’s definitely not something I’d add to my toy chest, and I’ll most likely use a different paddle if the game called for it.
The feather is just sad. The first thing my subbie and I said when we opened the box was “poor feather!” and tried to hug it. It just looks pathetic next to everything else. It really is just a five-cent feather from a craft store. It’s a pretty purple, and it would serve its purpose, but we felt so bad for it just sitting so sadly that we added to it one of our bouquets of flowers around the house. It is soft and would work for sensation play, though.
The soft scarf is the best part about this entire kit. It’s soft, red, and long enough to tie up wrists. It’s a foot across and about three feet long. It’s see-through and very pretty, but might tear if your captive partner struggles too much. It’s good for beginner bondage and very soft for sensation play as well.
As for storage, as long as you keep the original box and plastic holders for the cards, you can just put the cards back in the box and everything with it. The map folds up and everything else just fits okay.
All-in-all, I really didn’t hate this kit. It wasn’t horrid, but it wasn’t a game I’d actually bother using the kit together. The spinner is just silly, but does add spontanous play into the equation. I think I’d end up pulling out whatever card I wished to use depending upon my mood. If I wanted to learn something new, Classroom 101. If I wanted to do something kinky, Spice Rack. If I wanted to do some role playing, Role With It. If I wanted to learn more about my partner, Pillow Talk. If I wanted sensual play, Erogenous Zones. If I wanted to have some fun cards for an open-party, the Truth or Dare cards with some modifications as needed. A decent set with all of the pieces, but not very fun to use as the set that it was intended. It was worth the seven dollars I paid for it, but I certainly wouldn’t pay anything more than twenty.
Card Amounts:
Spice Rack: 10 Cards
Classroom 101s: 10 Cards
Erogenous Zones: 10 Cards
Truth or Dare: 45 Cards
Pillow Talk: 20 Cards
Role With It: 55 Cards
