Are you looking for a beginner’s guide to strap-on harnesses? Want a pick out your first strap-on harness guide? This guide will walk you through the basic differences and features you will expect to see in your strap-on harness – to help you pick out what strap-on harness will be best for your use.
Like almost all sex toys out there, getting the “perfect” strap-on harness for you is going to require a bit of reflection of what you want out of a harness – and learning what works best for your body. To reflect all of the different needs in strap-on harnesses, manufacturers have crafted lots of different types of harnesses – and knowing the different types and options will help you make an informed decision.
And like most sex toy purchases, a larger budget can mean a better experience. While I know that a large harness purchase may not be in the cards for everyone, if you have the wiggle room to purchase a higher-end harness, you might end up enjoying it more than the cheaper counterparts.
So, ready to try to pick your perfect strap-on harness? Here are the things you need to know when shopping for a strap-on harness:
Harness Sizes
Before anything else, you need to ensure that the strap-on harness will fit you. If you’re of an average body type, this will likely be all of the mental effort you need to put into the idea of things “fitting”.
However, if you regularly shop in X-Small clothing or above XL clothing, you’ll need to put more thought into it. Many strap-on harnesses stop at 44″ hips – and some of the “highly-adjustable” harness styles may leave too many straps around for an XS body to use it easily. Make sure you pay attention to measurements if you find yourself in either of these camps.
(And have really wide hips? The Spareparts Joque goes all the way up to a 65″ hips and beyond!)
Harness Styles
Show above: Jock-style, Thong-style, and Panty style harnesses
Spareparts Joque, Spareparts Theo, Spareparts Sasha
There are three common styles of strap-on harness. They are jock-style, thong-style, and panty-style. Each one of the styles has their own benefits – and downsides.
The Jock-Style
The distinguishing feature of the “jock-style” strap-on harness is its strap system that looks similar to a jock strap. Two straps run between the legs of the harness wearer that come out on either side underneath the butt cheeks. These straps help add stability to the harness and help keep the dildo snuggled up tightly against the body. However, Jock-style harnesses may be confusing to put on, and the multiple straps between the legs make it hard to access the vagina and other bits between the legs.
The Thong-Style
Named for its obvious similarity to the panty style, a thong-style harness has a single strap that runs between the legs. This single strap generally doesn’t provide as much tightness and security as the jock-style harness, but it provides other benefits: namely, it’s much easier to put on. Quite literally, like a pair of panties. Along with that, for those who enjoy other pleasure along with their strap-on sex, a thong-style harness has minimal material between the legs. This makes it easy to slide the harness material aside and access all of the vagina and butt bits without having to remove the harness.
The Panty-Style
Even more like panties, the panty-style harness quite literally looks like a pair of panties. Available in different cuts of panties, a panty style harness brings all of the comfort of wearing a pair of panties to the ability to use a dildo. Usually made with built-in O-rings (more about that below!), panty-style harnesses are generally really comfortable to wear (because of their full-coverage design). However, many panty-style harnesses are made in limited size ranges which may not fit your body.
Harness Location
Shown above: Different placement of the base of the dildo can lead to different sensations
Both harnesses are CalExotics Her Royal Harnesses
Depending on the style and tightness of your strap-on harness, it may sit in various spots throughout the abdomen. Make sure that your strap-on harness matches your intentions. For example, if you’re hoping to receive physical pleasure from the rocking of the dildo during your strap-on sex, a harness that sits on your stomach will make that impossible. However, if you’re hoping for a hand to slip between your legs for clitoral stimulation while using your strap-on harness, a higher-sitting strap-on harness may be the perfect fit for you. When selecting a strap-on harness, attempt to find a photo of the strap-on harness on a mannequin or model. Photos might be available on the manufacturer’s website if they aren’t available on the retailer’s website. This will give you a good idea of where the strap-on harness will sit.
(As a note, you know that your strap-on sex doesn’t have to include your hips, right? You can use a strap-on harness on many parts of your body – including your thighs, chest, foot, and more! If you’re having issues getting pleasure or using your hips, don’t feel like you have to! Lots of people get creative with their strap-on placement and have an amazingly fun time doing it!
Dildo Options
Shown above: A built-in O-ring, an Interchangeable O-ring, and a Lock-On Dildo base system
Spareparts Sasha, Aslan Leather, Doc Johnson Vac-U-Lock Lux Harness
The last thing you need to think about when selecting a strap-on harness is what dildos you’ll be using with it. While you have a lot of flexibility with this thought, you will need to have a base plan in mind. Why is that? Well, strap-on harnesses generally use one of three methods to attach a dildo to the harness itself. Those methods are built-in O-rings, interchangeable O-rings, and Lock-On systems.
Built-In O-Rings
Exactly how they sound, these O-rings are built into the fabric of the harness itself. These O-rings can be removed or changed out for different rings. In most cases, the O-rings built into the harness are rubber – and may have a bit of stretch to them. However, the O-Rings that are built into the harness are it. This means that whatever dildo you’d like to use with the harness needs to fit into the built-in O-ring. For most people who just want to use average-sized dildos, this will work fine. If you’re hoping to use oddly-shaped dildos or thick dildos (or dildos of a whole variety of sizes like kinksters or Ballarat escorts), this may not be a good fit for you. These harnesses are compatible with any flared dildo that fits within the built-in O-ring.
Interchangeable O-Rings
Similar to built-in O-rings but a bit different, these strap-on harnesses have a system that allows you to switch out the included O-ring for O-rings of different shapes and sizes. If you plan to use thicker dildos in the future – or just want to ensure that your dildo is always snug against your body with the proper O-ring, an interchangeable O-ring harness might be the best fit for you. These harnesses are compatible with any flared base dildo that will fit within any O-ring you can find.
Lock-On Systems
Entirely different than either of the O-ring harnesses, these Lock-On Systems are strap-on harnesses that are equipped with a “base” to a dildo. This “base” essentially slides into an empty chamber of compatible dildos to “attach” the dildo to the harness. This means that any dildo you use needs to be compatible with this system – otherwise it won’t be able to attach to the harness. These harnesses are only compatible with dildos that are especially crafted to fit into the harness. Many of these dildos are not body-safe or silicone. If selecting a Lock-On system harness, make sure you like the look of a strap-on dildo that is compatible with the harness before picking it up.
Finally, Special Features
Outside of the basic design of the harness, you’ll want to keep a couple of other things in mind. While not as important as the basic design and fit of the harness, these features can help hinder or improve your experience. The special features will differ depending on what you want to do. Are you a Mandurah escort who regularly sees new clients? Washability might matter more. Are you hoping to make the harness vibrate so your partner can feel even more sensations? That optional vibrator pocket might be perfect! So consider:
Optional Vibrations
Some strap-on harnesses come with a small pouch on the interior of the harness that can hold a bullet vibrator. If you’re hoping to use a small vibrator to help increase the pleasure to the wearer (or to help the base of the dildo vibrate), make sure that your harness has this pouch. If you don’t plan on using about it, don’t worry much about it. The pouch (if it has one) doesn’t really get in the way of enjoyment of the harness regardless of whether you use it.
Washability
How will you wash your strap-on harness? It’s going to live in a land of lube and bodily fluids pretty constantly. You need a washing method that works well for you and the effort level you’re willing to do directly after using the harness. Your harness shouldn’t sit in bodily fluids for long periods of time after use, so you’ll need to clean it shortly after being all tired and worn-out. (Sorry!) I’m really partial to my Spareparts neoprene harnesses because they’re machine-washable (and I’m lazy after sex), but just make sure you’re okay with the upkeep of leather or high-end materials if you want those.
Updated: December 2022, August 2022.
