Hismith 3XLR Sex Machine Review

Welcome to my Hismith 3XLR Sex Machine Review. This beginner-priced sex machine focuses on providing an “all you need” approach for your very first sex machine purchase.

The Hismith 3XLR includes the machine itself, the cords to power it (wall electricity required), the remote, five attachments, and two extending rods for those attachments. None of the attachments are made of silicone, and it looks like a mixture of rubber, PVC, and jelly. (If you’re into body safe options, I mention a solution later on!)

The Hismith 3XLR sex machine itself is relatively small and portable in size at 15.1″ in length with a width of 10.2″. It comes fully assembled and in a somewhat discreet box. (This discreet box has a sexy lounging tiger, but with no nudity, and also includes a plastic handle for easy toting. We use this box for storage.)

According to the manufacturer, this model is adjustable to a little under 90 degrees, and it offers thrusting from 0 to 280 times per minute. Its retractable distance is 50-65mm.

Hismith Sex Machine Review: How to Use Your Hismith

Surprisingly enough, the Hismith sex machine is really, really easy to use. It’s pretty much as simple as clicking on your preferred attachment, setting the position, plugging it in, and turning the remote to the setting you want to use. The process is extremely streamlined.

After you get it turned on and see how the thrusting angle is going to go, you’ll end up repositioning it (or yourself) a few times to get the best angle, but once you get familiar with your “tried and true” favorite Hissmith machine sex positions, you’ll probably be able to forego a whole lot of this step.

Hismith Sex Machine Review: Best Sex Machine?

At less than $200, the Hismith Sex Machine isn’t going to be a certifiable powerhouse. It just can’t be. Powerful motors cost money, and toys that cost tons of money can’t sell for less than $200.

That being said, for the price point, what you’re getting is surprisingly strong. It thrusts anally with virtually no resistance, and the suction cups actually hold it in place surprisingly well. Make sure you’ve added lubricant to yourself and the sex toy (to help reduce friction), and you can get a pretty solid experience out of the Hismith. The thrusting slows down a lot if you clench down on it (especially near orgasm), but it has never quit completely.

(Fun tip: If you’re trying to use the Hismith Sex Machine on carpet, use the lid of a plastic tote for a suction-cup-friendly surface. A budget sex machine like this is generally lighter in weight, making it easier to slide along carpet. If you’re still having issues with it, you can always use the Hismith sex machine while it’s propped up against the wall or unmovable, large furniture like we do.)

Hissmith Sex Machine Review: Let’s Talk about Noise

The Hissmith Sex Machine isn’t particularly loud, but it’s still a sex machine. That is to say, it’s nowhere near the caliber of noise that my Motorbunny puts out – or honestly, it’s still not as loud as my Arcwave Ion – and that’s saying something!

I wouldn’t necessarily want to use the Hissmith Sex Machine in a home where other people are around and nearby, though. You could get away with it if you live in a basement where sound doesn’t travel well (while everyone else is upstairs), but if you live in a two bedroom apartment, the noise is loud enough to travel outside of a closed door (and honestly, if you get caught using it, there’s no real easy “cover-up”)

So, I’d classify the Hissmith sex machine as a solo toy when you have some privacy. That being said, it isn’t super loud. You can definitely hear it, but it isn’t a whining or grinding noise that’s distracting. It just sounds like mechanics working. We can easily talk over it, and at no point was it distracting for the pleasure, discussion, or usage. (Just wouldn’t use it when possible discovery is a problem!)

Hismith Sex Machine Review: Is It Positionable?

Even at this lower price point, the machine comes with a positioning system that essentially “raises” the motor itself via a few adjustable metal brackets. These metal brackets are extremely strong and rigid – to support the weight of the sex machine with no danger of it collapsing during use – so they can be aggravatingly difficult to adjust.

That “difficult” includes lots of pinched fingers and thumbs. Trying to get this thing to position (and then go laying back flat in order to put it back into storage) has led to quite a few pinched fingers. If you have the capability to possibly leave it in your favorite position, I would. Those pinched fingers are a strong reason that I occasionally choose not to pull out the Hismith sex machine.

Since switching positions is annoying, pick one sex position and use it,and not try to switch it up to new sex positions mid-use. Swapping positions can be time-consuming as it requires you to reset the entire machine back to flat and then try to raise it again to where you want it. I generally consider the Hismith Sex Machine a “in its place” type of sex machine once you get started. So choose a sex position that feels comfortable to hold for a long time.

While this sex machine is adjustable, the adjustability points are wide and far apart from one another. You aren’t changing this machine’s angles in millimeter increments. This means you’ll want to use your environment to your surroundings to get the Hismith machine positioned exactly where you want it.

For example, the Hismith machine can be placed horizontally on its base. There are no other height settings for horizontal placement – if you attempt to adjust the angle, it will always angle the machine upwards, towards the ceiling. If you want to use the machine horizontally, you’ll want to use your surroundings (books, furniture, plastic totes, etc.) to get the Hismith machine to the exact “height” you want. It is a positionable sex machine, but with its budget and base design, those positions are pretty limited.

For minor adjustments, you can use the attachment rods. The Hissmith machine comes with two attachment rods that act as the go-between for the machine’s attachment point and base of the dildo of your choice. The long, sturdy, rigid rod allows you to add length to the sex machine – like if you want to sit further away from it (which makes the below-mentioned remote control problem even worse).

The bendable, blue-bulb-looking rod is fully bendable which allows you to bend it and get unique angles from the sex machine’s always-straight strokes. If you make micro bends to this, you can get some decent g-spot/p-spot type of thrusting (but I generally find it easier to just pose the human in a different way). This bendable rod will unbend/straighten itself under pressure, so it’s not necessarily a great fit ultra-specific angle adjustments.

Hismith Sex Machine Review: The Control Remote

By far, my biggest complaint about the Hismith Sex Machine is the control remote. The corded remote, itself, works fine. It provides commands to the machine, and the machine listens to those commands without a delay.

However, the cord that attaches the control box to the thrusting sex machine is way, way too short. This becomes a problem for self-use, and it’s even worse if someone else is trying to control it. Even for my 6-foot partner, with his long wingspan, while using the Hismith Sex Machine alone, he’s unable to control the machine without doing some serious bending and getting off the machine. Doggy style with the machine is really difficult. It’s a drastic oversight when another foot or two of cord length would have made a drastic difference in the enjoyment of the machine.

Just look at the length of cord you have between where the cord fastens behind the machine and where the remote ends up.

There’s no reason that someone should be straining to be able to control the sex machine while using it on themselves.

Hismith Sex Machine Review: The Attachments

As you can see, the Hismith sex machine comes with quite a few sex toy attachments. We haven’t really used any of them. They smell (noticeably) in not-a-good way, and they feel very much like phthalate-jelly toys of ol’. Which, y’know, I try not to judge. I know a whole lot of people who are using sex toys like these on a regular basis. And if the concerning ingredients and allergens don’t bother you, that’s a-okay. Power to you!

But for my personal risk profile, I stick exclusively to body safe sex toys. I would have much preferred that Hismith sold this sex machine for $15/$20 cheaper and just removed all of the attachments since we’ll never touch a single one of them. For those who want an all-in-one first purchase and don’t mind porous toys, however, you might enjoy some of the attachments that were included. Each one quickly snaps into the thrusting arm of the machine, so you can swap out in seconds.

Hismith Sex Machine Review: What Toys Can I Use with Hismith?

So if I didn’t use the included attachments, what gives? How did I use any sex toys at all with it?

Well, Hismith sells a Vac-U-Lock adapter, and I recommend this as the must-have accessory for the Hismith sex machine 3XLR.

This Vac-U-Lock adapter allows you to attach any Vac-U-Lock dildos onto the Hismith sex machine. While silicone and body safe Vac-U-Lock toys aren’t as common as, say, non-Vac-U-Lock flared-base toys, it’s still very-possible to find Vac-U-Lock dildos that are silicone and body-safe. Not to mention, it opens up a whole range of toys you can choose from!

So, effectively, you open up your Hismith Sex Machine to work with the entire new world of dildos with that simple adapter. You can find dildos and sex toys that work well for what your body needs.

(As a note, with the weight and power of the sex machine, I’d definitely stick to slimmer sex toys and “average-looking” dildos. While some of the fantasy dildo manufacturers sell Vac-U-Lock options for their giant insertable toys, those toys also weigh a lot more than average-sized bio-looking dildos – which I’d imagine the toy’s mechanisms aren’t going to handle very well. I’d definitely stick with average-looking toys, and if that isn’t what you want to use with your sex machine, I’d recommend upgrading to a more-powerful Hismith Sex Machine.)

Hismith Sex Machine Review: Final Thoughts