Despite sex reigning supreme in marketing ploys since the late 1960s, sex in many places is still considered taboo. From the extreme right-wing conservatives in charge of law-making to devout religious communities, sex is still salacious to a large portion of our population.
Which we’re not really about here – and you know that. Sex is a natural part of many people’s lives (though not all), and someday, we hope that it can be treated as such.
Until then, though, a lot of people have been using the anonymous powers of the internet to engage in sexual exploration – especially with the pandemic. Some people have leaned towards video sex chats – and with potential identifiable information involved in video, even more people have leaned towards text-based sex chats. Not only are there hundreds of ways to exchange text information with other people, there are lots of ways to do it anonymously – which, in our sex-shaming culture, can be a bonus for a lot of people.
But sex chat doesn’t just have to be for getting off – and logging off. A lot of people use sex chat for more than just orgasms – even if they don’t know it. This post explores three ways people are using sex chat for more than just getting off. Maybe you’ll notice these in yourself – and maybe you’ll just find a new reason to consider downloading your favorite texting app again.
Sexual Self-Exploration
Sex chat allows people to explore their sexuality in much-safer ways than exploring it in the real-life realm – both mentally and physically. Physically, talking about kinks (and roleplaying them) via text generally means you’re not engaging in some activities which can be dangerous (like kink!) without proper training and knowledge. Mentally, using sex chat to explore yourself doesn’t come with the risk of exposure or rejection from people you care about. Even if the person online isn’t into your kink, it doesn’t generally risk your relationships or friendships with long-standing people; that’s all part of the “anonymous” enjoyment of sex chatting.
At the same time, this “safety” does mean some people prefer to keep all of their desires hidden and secret from their current partners and future partners – which we’re never about. While sex chatting is great for the initial exploration and self-reflection, I always recommend being honest with a partner or finding ways to express yourself in your physical form as well.
Exploring Kink
Like mentioned above, sex chat allows for an easy exploration of your sexuality – including all aspects of kink and BDSM. Online sex chat allows you to float kink ideas and see how your brain (and body!) respond to them without any risk of having to “do” them right away – or any risk of feeling bad if you’re not into them mid-sex.
You might find that you’re not kinky at all – or you might find that your brain is open to the idea of kink. How much kink? Well, that’s really an entire rabbit hole to explore. Some people might want to stop at handcuffs and blindfolds – while others might be going all the way to 24/7 M/s relationships or edgeplay kinks like knifeplay or consensual non-consent.
Get Paid To Sext
You can certainly sext for fun all you want, but your sexting habit doesn’t have to be entirely a hobby. On reputable sites like Arousr, you can get paid to sext with strangers all day long. Want to add an additional revenue stream to your repertoire while exploring your sexuality? Then why not also get paid for it?
Sexting may not be for everyone, but if you’re good at it, enjoy it, and have a few spare hours in your day, it can be an enjoyable way to earn additional income. All from the comfort and safety of your own home, you can become a Sex Chat Professional.
Final Thoughts: Basic Sexting Etiquette
What makes sexting amazing can also be what makes sexting terrible; it’s anonymous design makes it easier to “forget” that there’s another human on the side of the screen. Especially when horny brain takes over, it can be harder to remember to be polite and respectful – especially when you’re on a sexual platform and have let your imagination run away from you. Some of these tips will help make you a “responsible” sexter – and someone that partners will want to sext with again.
Respect first. Even if you meet someone on a sexting platform, you should treat them with respect – like a fellow human being – long before you jump straight into the sex chat. People don’t generally appreciated being treated like a human sex toy just for your needs – with no regard for their own – so treat them like a person beforehand. I promise, if the other person wants to jump straight into sex (like you were keeping yourself from doing), they’ll instigate it or jump to obvious flirting.
Make sure your partner’s into it. If you’re getting signals that someone isn’t that into it, make sure to clarify that they’re down for what you’re doing. If you’re getting one-word answers or GIFs or emojis as responses, you might want to check in and ensure that they’re into what’s going on. They might have lost interest – or gotten too busy to continue but want to be polite and finish things up as soon as possible.
Pictures and videos require consent. One of the fun things about sex chat is that it can be done “on the go”. So your sexting partner might be on a public bus or grocery shopping. While reading another phone’s text is hard, a photo and video isn’t very hard to see on another person’s phone. So save the pictures and videos until after you’ve asked permission to send them.
Don’t forget about yourself! Especially for a lot of women, it can be easy to “tolerate” sexting that you’re not really into. That’s not what it’s about. If you’re not into what’s going on, just like in physical sex, take a time-out, talk about how to improve it, and see how it goes. If your partner isn’t gung-ho, feel free to bid them good-day and move on.
About the Author
This article is written by Femme Fatale, writer, sexpert and artist.. She has a vast knowledge and affinity for Fetish culture. You can find her every week writing for Arousr. Her favorite fetish is Domination.
