Delving further into helpful BDSM advice and femdom resources, “BDSM Scenes, Step-by-Step” is my latest iteration of helpful advice. When I was a newbie little femdom, I remember feeling terrified over my next scene. What was I supposed to do? Was there someone who had more experience who could walk me through leading an entire person’s pleasure through sex? What if I screwed up? How was I supposed to focus on the “fun” when I was just confused about what I was supposed to be doing? Turns out, this is relatively common. So, eight years later, this femdom has a lot more experience – and wants to prevent people from falling into the same anxiety that I did. Welcome to the “BDSM Scenes, Step-by-Step” series. Read the basics of a scene, read how to prepare for it, and read about how to go through with it, step-by-step. Whether using these scenes when you’re feeling uninspired or just want to fall into a scene where you already know how you want everything to go, these BDSM entire scene outlines are designed to work for you.
Above-all, it’s your scene. If something isn’t a good fit for your dynamic or your recipient, modify it. This is a lovely BDSM scene tutorial template for you to modify for your own needs. Remove the stress of “what the fuck am I doing?” by having a gameplan – and feel free to modify it as you’re enjoying yourself. After all, you’re in charge.
This Scene Is…
Focused on sexual pleasure for one partner, this scene is focused on a long-term tease and denial (of orgasm!) session. With the receptive partner blindfolded and fully “lost” in the sensations, this gives a lot of leeway for the Dominant – which makes this a good beginner-friendly scene. As it’s very focused on general sexual pleasure (and tons of it!), the risk level from high-risk kink activities is low. This scene also lends itself well to multiple Dominants teasing a single receptive partner.
This scene is not a good fit if the receptive partner has issues reaching orgasm or finds edging sessions frustrating.
Scene is: Hours spent on the edge of orgasm, Edging scene, Tease and denial scene, Orgasm torture scene
What Do You Need
Sex and Kink Toys to Gather
-A fucking machine (or have the endurance to do things manually with a favorite dildo)
-A favorite vibrator (or other sex toy)
-Bondage rope (or your favorite pair of restraints)
-A comfortable blindfold
-Any other kink items you have that might be a good fit (nipple clamps, feathers)
Household Things to Have
-A comfortable, flat surface (your bed, perhaps?)
-Sexual music or a favorite porn movie with lots of audio that you know your recipient will enjoy
How Long Does It Take?
Depending on your partner’s pleasure level and tolerance for edging, this can take 2 to 5 hours including gradual lead-in time and aftercare time.
How Do You Prep
Prep takes place in the bedroom where the bed is at. Get your sex machine ready for pleasure, and ensure you know how to control it. If you’re going to be playing music or porn, make sure you have the device ready (and charged!) for playing that. I’d also recommend condoms, lube, and possibly a bottle of water (in case your partner or you get thirsty). Get all of your toys (and any accessories you need for using them!) charged and laid out for easy access.
Finally, make sure you’ve set-up the restraints around the bedframe beforehand. You shouldn’t be spending time setting up the restraints’ attachment point to the bed. Make sure all you need to do is fasten your partner into the bed restraints.
Depending on whether you want to build the anticipation or surprise your partner, you can leave all of these items out in plain sight in the bed area, or you can pull them out their hiding spot once your partner is blindfolded. Decide which one seems like a better fit for you and your recipient.
Step-by-Step Instructions!
- As best as possible, try to start the scene from a stress-free point in your life – and one that seems filled with erotic energy. If that requires “scheduling” the scene for later on, so be it. There’s not a whole lot of erotic energy going on when you try to pull someone away from loading the dishwasher and brushing their teeth. Try to cultivate as much erotic energy as you can. A week or two of consistent tease and denial of orgasm can be a lovely lead-up to this scene (if that’s how you play).
- Once you have your more-than-willing partner, pull them into the bedroom. Push them up against the wall, and enjoy some make-out action. As much as your personality allows, try to assert your dominance through this make-out session. Show them that you’re in charge for this scene – and show them through only your tongue and body language.
- After you’re ready to move on, stand back and command them to turn around and put their hands on the wall. You’ll likely elicit some giggles from this very-obvious frisking position. If your body allows, get down on your knees and make sure they know that it’s serious. Do this by some gentle rubbings through their clothing onto some of their pleasure spots. Consider some cute kisses onto the butt or lower back. Very slowly, strip off the clothing that they’re wearing on their lower body. Kiss the bare skin as you expose it – and consider some swats on their lower body if they wiggle around too much or move their hands off the wall. (Or, if you rather throw in some passion, feel free to strip off their clothing as forcefully as possible.)
- With their lower-half naked, move onto the upper half. Slowly tug the person’s shirt up towards their head. They’ll likely try to move their hands and help you remove the shirt. Consider a light slap on their back when they do this with a verbal ‘Did I say you could move your hands?” as a strict reminder. Provide verbal permission for them to move their hands as the shirt is stripped over their head and remove the rest of the underthings as you’d like.
- With a naked receptive partner, push them back onto the bed. Fasten their wrists with the bondage method you had prepared. As a final touch, slide the blindfold over their eyes.
- Now that the blindfold is in place, you can start your music or porn going on. Depending on your dynamic, you might consider some verbal teasing about how they’re going to be driven mad with lust by the end of this experience; the music is just an added bonus to ensure their mind just turns into sexual putty for you to play with.
- Start with some gentle touches on your partner’s body. They’re probably already aroused and warmed up from the make-out session and undressing, but more arousal is the name of this game. Focus on spots on their body that are sensitive but not necessarily an orgasmic trigger. The neck, inner elbows, on the inner thighs, the hip lip, the collarbone – all of those spots are good targets for your gentle touches.
- Remembering that we’re going slow (so take as much time as you want!), when you’re ready, you can move onto the next phase. I recommend using your hands or a toy that is orgasmic to the recipient. Require them to tell you if they’re close to orgasm – and you can phrase that request as sexily as you want. Feel free to demand they use embarrassing language or to increase a numerical count with each time they get close to orgasm. (Like counting up the times they’ve been edged). I recommend you take this first time to play around a bit, but if your partner is already very responsive, you may want to take this chance to get them to the edge of orgasm for the first time.
- Got them to the edge once? Why not three more times? It’s your scene, after all.
- Now that their body is very much aroused, let’s bring in the penetrative toy (if they enjoy those). A fucking machine will ensure your hands are free to continue to explore your recipient’s body, but you certainly can take matters into your own hands (literally!) by using the dildo yourself! This is where you can really get creative and include things that matter most in your sexual relationship. Does the recipient love thrusting over and over – even if it won’t get them to orgasm? Go ahead and “torture” them with it? Do you need to take sex machine breaks to alternate in different, orgasmic stimulation to ensure that the thrusting continues to be pleasurable? Do that! With your recipient’s pleasure profile in mind, use the thrusting as another layer of constant sexual stimulation to keep them aroused and completely filled with pleasure. During the rest of this session, depending on you and your recipient, you can leave the sex machine on for added, constant stimulation. (Your recipient might just prefer a single butt plug inserted into them instead as in-and-out thrusting can get grating for them. Then do that!)
- Go back to using orgasmic sensations to get them back on the edge. How many times you push them towards the edge is entirely up to you.
- Take a break and add in other stimulation. Don’t forget about their own erogenous zones – and this can become a lovely time to add other sensations to the mix. Consider nipple clamps (or just nipple pinches!), lots of dirty talk, turning up the sensual music or porn, a luxurious make-out session, or anything else that’s bound to amp their sex drive even higher. If using a sex machine, use this break to relube the dildo as well.
- More edges to orgasm! You can see how we’re trying to drive them mad with pleasure, right?
- Back to more sensual stimulation. Consider an ice cube, wax play, massage oil, or anything else that strikes your fancy. The idea is to continue to push their lust even higher – to add in even more sensations that make them want sexual pleasure more and more. More lube for that sex machine, too!
- More edges to orgasm!
- Repeat as much as you’d like. Add lots of sensual stimulation and then change it up with enough stimulation to get them towards the edge of orgasm – over and over. Remember that your partner’s body has a (literal) physical limit, and especially with penetration, you can begin to get some soreness if you keep things up too long. Check in with your partner and definitely play it safe. You don’t want the end of your scene going downhill because all of the stimulation started feeling uncomfortable instead of amazing. (About 15 minutes is a safe amount of time to push it if you know nothing about the recipient you’re playing with. With familiar partners, multiple hours is a reasonable estimation.)
- I recommend ending the scene with a bang. That “bang” is entirely up to you. If you’d like to “get in” on the stimulation for some of your own pleasure, you can definitely do that. Get up on top and use them orally – or if you have that equipment, you could have intercourse with them instead. Either way, ending the scene with a lot of begging is a lovely way to end it. Don’t let them have that orgasm easily. Make them beg and plead for it. Phrases like “Beg for it.” or “I want to hear how much you want it” are lovely additions at this point. Don’t be afraid to draw it out too. As you do your final edges towards orgasm, make them beg for each time – only you’ll stop right before they hit that orgasm. Things like “That’s not good enough. Try again” or “Beg like you mean it this time.” are fantastic. By the time they’re on edge #5, they’ll have no idea whether they’re going to earn that orgasm this time for some lovely controlling sensations.
- After the orgasm is over and you’ve finished whatever you’d like to do, don’t forget about aftercare! Your partner will likely be very thirsty – and probably hungry too. Don’t expect your partner to move for awhile. Let them come down in peace; you don’t want to ruin all that hard work of getting them orgasmically relaxed during the scene by asking them to wash the bedding afterwards. Expect to spend 30 minutes to an hour on just lazy aftercare after such a taxing experience on your recipient’s body.
Pre-Written Dirty Talk
At a loss as a Dominant? Assuming you know your receptive partner’s “hard limit” words and the types of things they like to hear, you can take some inspiration from these phrases for some easy dirty talk during the scene. Plus, with their blindfolded face, you can leave these out on a piece of paper or on your cell phone for reference, and they’ll be none-the-wiser!
“Can you take more pleasure for me, baby?”
“Are your little fuckholes getting sore, sweetie?”
“Too bad you can’t see. You could be watching me get off to the sexy sight of you.”
“Do you think I should let you cum? Hmm, I don’t think you’re quite there yet.” (turn off stimulation for a second)
“Can you beg for that orgasm? Only good girls/boys/etc. who show they really want it get to have an orgasm in this bed.”
“You’re just my little fucktoy, aren’t you? You’re so fun to use as my own little toy.”
“I’m going to touch you here, and you can’t do anything about it, can you? Feel free to try if you want, but we both know I’m in charge.”
Cautions!
As mentioned above, orgasm denial and edging is not for everyone. Some people have difficulty reaching orgasm in the first place – and may resent anyone who doesn’t allow them to achieve that orgasm when they’re close. Make sure you have an honest chat with your pleasure recipient to ensure that they’re on-board with this plan – and that edging is something they enjoy.
Check-in with your partner often about their limbs for discomfort (due to lack of movement). Using a bondage method with a lot of freedom of movement (instead of keeping limbs taut) will allow the bound partner to readjust their limbs to reduce any tingling or discomfort.
Be prepared with some sort of quick snack or food after the scene. The receptive partner will probably be pretty hungry! And I recommend taking a potty break before you start the scene too; they’re going to be tied up for a long while!
Otherwise, this scene is relatively low-risk! It only encompasses the risk of the optional items that you use – and the standard bondage risks. Make sure you have a safe-word in place, and ensure you and your partner have open communication.
