Getting into BDSM for the first time doesn’t have to be intimidating. In fact, a lot of people already include some BDSM elements in their sex lives already – whether that’s closing their eyes, pushing their partner onto the bed, providing a light spanking during penetration, or more! A pretty popular kink is spanking. A spanking fetish ends up being so popular because it requires little to no equipment, little to no planning, and provides plenty of sexual gratification. Most people just stumble upon it without ever planning to! Spanking, and all other kinks that involve consensually “hitting” the body in some manner, are part of an umbrella called “impact play”. Impact play commonly includes flogging, spanking, whipping, caning, and punching, and it’s pretty commonly done on the butt – though that’s not the only place that it’s possible! Want to know more about impact play? These five facts will help flush out your impact play knowledge!
#1: Impact Play Doesn’t Have to be Extreme
Not all BDSM activities are extreme, and whether your impact play scene takes you well outside your comfort zone depends on the rules you set beforehand. Impact play can be adventurous while still playing well within your comfort zone – mentally and physically. From soft love taps to stronger smack-that-ass kind of blows, impact play is any sexual activity where someone is hit with a hand or toy to produce sexual pleasure. If you’re into soft slaps, tell your partner where you want them to strike you. Similarly, if you want to feel their full wrath you need to communicate that clearly. Some people love a rough slap on their ass during sex – but that same slap onto the face or breasts will be an instant turn-off. Open communication really helps both of you succeed in your common goal: hot-ass pleasure!
#2: Slaps Trigger Physical and Chemical Reactions
Mixing in a little bit of asked-for pain with pleasure in impact play takes your sexual gratification to a whole new level. A lot of people enjoy the sensations that slapping and spanking can provide – and that’s entirely separate from the “taboo” and “naughty” mental aspect too. The smack itself produces pleasure, and it can make any other touch that follows feel that much more intense. In some cases, the mere fact that spanking is a naughty “punishment” can add a whole world of pleasure to the sensation itself!
#3: Impact Play Comes With Safe Words
No BDSM activity, no matter how tame, comes without its set of safe words. Whether you’re just introducing impact play into your sex life or want to try it with a casual partner, one simple way to use safe words without killing the thrill is to use the street light colors. Use the word ‘green’ to mean ‘go’, the word ‘yellow’ to mean caution, and the word ‘red’ to mean stop. These safe words are easy to remember and they won’t interfere with your scene. Why use safe words? The idea behind safe words is to actually allow you to go further into kinky play without worries. With safe words set up, you can know that “Oh, no, Sir, please no!” actually means “hell yes, but let’s pretend I don’t want it!” without a second worry or thought. Just remember to go over your safewords before every scene – and if your partner is acting suspiciously or weird during a scene, even if they haven’t used their safeword, you might want to check in.
#4: Start Slow
Whether the partner who is in control uses their hand or a whip, paddle or flogger, it’s important to start with soft blows first and gradually increase the force. It’s important to start slow for a myriad of reasons. First off, the body needs time to “warm-up” to a sensation. Just like doing a full-on running sprint doesn’t feel particularly pleasant without any warm-up or sustainable activity, the body needs time to gently pull blood to the area – and to mentally get ready for the stimulation to consider the impact as “pleasurable”. Along with that, your partner probably needs time to mentally get in the mood. Starting slow allows you to draw out your scene – and allow your partner to mentally adjust as the spanking gets harder and harder. Plus, starting slow is especially important when you’re new to spanking. You can figure out what level you’re comfortable at while the intensity increases!
#5: Impact Play Can Strengthen Your Bond
Like any BDSM activity done consensually and with intent, impact play has a bunch of positive mental aspects to it too. By exploring your hidden fantasies, you can ease tension, increase your confidence, improve communication, and improve your mood thanks to those happy hormones. In other words, what’s not to love? If you’re interested in trying impact play, consider talking to your partner about it.
