UPDATE: APRIL 2020: Hans and Hardwood Dildos are no longer in production; neither is this dildo. This review remains for those who are curious about these beautiful wooden dildos.
The Handcrafted Wooden Dildo #278 is a hand-made dildo from Hans from Hardwood Dildos. The one I have is the Cherry Beige wood, and it features a prominent g-spot curve towards the tip of this wooden dildo. This dildo is about nine inches long, and it has a diameter of about an inch and a fourth.
The Handcrafted Wooden Dildo #278 comes in a beautiful velvet drawstring storage pouch. The pouch isn’t padded, but as wood doesn’t really break or shatter, it doesn’t need to be. It does protect the wooden sex toy from scratches which is the best function for it, so it works. The bag ties shut with an easy drawstring tag, and in case you forget, it does come with a little tag that mentions the dildo’s number and color.
I really love Hans and his Hardwood Dildos. He is an independent business owner, and he makes all of these dildos by hand. He attempts to find fallen wood where possible to avoid wasting wood. All of his dildos are handmade and individually carved. In fact, if you want, Hans will also take custom orders.
One of the big concerns everyone has is whether wood dildos will give you splinters, and no, they won’t. As long as you buy high-quality (like Hans or NobEssence), you will be happily splinter-free. This is because they use a coating over the outside of the wood that makes the wood just look like wood – and not feel like it. This Handcrafted Wooden Dildo #278, like Hans’ other wooden dildos, is covered with at least five layers of salad bowl finish which is a food-quality finish with no dyes or stains. It actually feels amazingly slick – more slick than a glass sex toy. If you look at it, you can see the shiny-ness on the surface as well. It really is very slick, and there’s no rough spots on it at all – there’s no way that you’d get a splinter from this wooden sex toy unless you broke it or scratched it in some way – and even then, you’d be able to see it on the surface of the wooden sex toy.
I’m in love with the shape of this wooden sex toy. It’s almost like a wooden version of the Bent Graduate, and the Bent Graduate is one of my most go-to toys for g-spot stimulation. The shape of this wooden sex toy is very similar. It has that extreme g-spot curve that makes it really great for targeting the g-spot and hitting it well. While the wood has absolutely no give to it, the slickness of the wood makes it really easy to use and insert.
I wasn’t too surprised to find that the Handcrafted Wooden Dildo #278 joined some of my other “Hall of Fame” g-spot dildos. It’s joined my Pure Wand, my G-Ki, my Crystal Wand, and my Bent Graduate as some of the best g-spot sex toys that I have. The curve that it has just really hits the g-spot amazingly, and because it’s so light-weight, it’s really easy to “go to town” without feeling fatigued.
The only downside to this wood dildo is the fact that the handle can be a bit slippery to hold. As the non-curved end, just like the curved-end, has no texture to it, when lubricated or with a lubricated hand, your fingers and hand can easily slip off of the sex toy. This can definitely be a bit annoying if you really like to go all-out for rough thrusting, but a bit of forethought to bring a towel to wipe of your hands after lubricating the toy seems to take care of the issue.
The Handcrafted Wooden Dildo #278 can easily be cleaned using warm water and anti-bacterial soap. Use condoms if using between multiple partners, and do not boil or clean this in the dishwasher. It’s compatible with all types of lubricant, and it can easily be stored in the storage bag that it comes in. Wherever you store it, though, make sure to keep it away from sharp objects or anything else that may scratch up the surface of your wood sex toy.
Overall, if you like a toy with an extreme g-spot curve like the Pure Wand or the Bent Graduate, you’ll probably like the Handcrafted Wooden Dildo #278. It has an extreme curve like the others, looks beautiful, feels light in your hands, and is very slick and easy to insert. Plus, it just hits my g-spot – like woah.
