As anyone knows, I absolutely love reading new books and learning new knowledge. As such, when I think I could use more information on a topic, I usually pick up a book about this. This is the same case.
was published in 2002. (Important.) It’s a 257-page book, but the last thirty pages are all resources. It took me about five hours to read this book cover-to-cover, but I’m a quick reader. The book is split into fourteen chapters. The front side shows a bare-chested man smiling on a white bed with the title of the book quite pronounced. (The image was taken from GettyImages and really has nothing to do with anal sex.) The back side claims this is the complete, step-by-step guide to anal sex for *all* men. Either way, both front cover and back cover, along with the diagrams inside of the book, make this a book you should probably keep at home for house reading.
Overall, the writing is a little bland. (Who am I kidding? Extremely bland.) Many parts are written so clinically that it’s extremely hard to find myself interested in the reading. Some of the information is extremely outdated and just downright dangerous for use now. The drug chapter left me going “wtf”. Some of the organization left me wondering about why. My biggest problem really was the writing style. It was extremely hard to get into and reading this book to write the review actually became a chore in some parts.
I guess, as always, I will go chapter-by-chapter for the information. The first chapter is called “Not In My Ass: 12 Myths about Anal Sex for Men”. Very short chapter at only about 12 pages, but it includes myths such as “The Bible Says its Wrong”, “Anal Sex is Messy”, “Anal Sex is Painful”, and “Only Gay Men Do It”. Each myth is talked about in a couple paragraphs saying while those beliefs are wrong.
Chapter 2 is called “How It Works and How To Work It: Anatomy and Exercise”. This chapter includes a couple diagrams and shows the different parts of the butt. It includes a very small section about the g-spot, but aside from that, no female distinctions from the male anal are mentioned. This chapter completely focuses on the male. From there, it talks about different exercises the male can do to strengthen and get familiarized with the anal muscles. Bill Brent also talks about why prostate massage is healthy for you. Another short chapter at about fifteen pages.
“Self-Exploration and Self-Play: Massage, Masturbation, and More” is chapter 3. He talks about step-by-step, the best ways to start exploring your anal area. It also states it’s okay to masturbate while you play. This chapter is only ten pages long.
Chapter 4 is “Hygiene and Diet”. This is where I got confused about the organization. I just felt that I should learn about anal sex and everything else before you go into an entire twenty-page section on enemas. If I had never done anything with anal, this would have scared me with the diagrams of the enema systems and tips on “how to expel”. Yeah, I would run. And hide. The gist of this chapter is about enemas, although you get one page on how to shave as well as one page on diet.
“Communication” is Chapter 5. It’s a little over ten pages. It talks about the importance of discussing it beforehand, your right to say no, the togetherness it will bring, and how to set the scene. It also talks about the importance of discussing safe sex beforehand.
Chapter 6 is “Latex and Lube”. We get a step-by-step guide on how to put on a condom, information on latex and non-latex condoms, and information on the female condom. And of course, obviously outdated information. For example, he recommends that, if you want safest sex, you use two condoms at once. (Wtf?) One of my friends said on Twitter this used to be accepted information until the last couple years, so I’m assuming it was included just because the book was old. We then get information about the different types of lubricant. Water-based, oil-based, and silicone-based. From the way the text was written, it looks like when this was written, silicone-based lubricant was still pretty new.
Chapter 7 is “Tools and Toys”. We get information on what makes a sex toy safe for anal use (which includes a flanged base), but the picture of “acceptable toys” includes pictures of toys that don’t have that flanged base. It also cautions about putting anything with a 3-inch diameter or bigger in your butt because it can create a vacuum and you won’t be able to get it out. (I’m frightened by this.) We then receive information about butt plugs, dildos, vibrators, harnesses, and specialty toys. Nothing is mentioned about phthalates or anything, so I assume this was before that was a problem. The age also shows in recommendations to buy the toys. He recommends Mr. S (who is this?). A small paragraph includes Good Vibrations, but aside from that, very little about the online community is included. This may be because the online community wasn’t developed, that he was referencing mainly gay suppliers, or something of that nature.
“Tongue in Cheek: Analingus” is the next chapter. Less than ten pages is dedicated to this. Since this is where most people lack experience, I wish there would have been more. He talks about how to get comfy for it, washing beforehand, barriers, and health concerns with rimming. A lot of the stuff included in this chapter is stuff I felt that was common sense.
The main event, “Penetration” is Chapter 9. It has tips for insertion for the insertive partner and receiving for the receptive partner. For the most part, this chapter just emphasizes that you need to go very slowly and don’t rush it. This chapter also really focuses on the spirituality of anal sex. (I don’t buy into it too much, but for those that do, I guess.) We then get into the health risks which is kept short and simple. From there, we actually get to see all sorts of diagrams about different positions can sex can be done in. The diagrams are really orientation-friendly since we have males/males, females/females and male/female. Lots of different body types shown in these seven positions.
From penetration, we jump straight to chapter 10: “Fisting”. This chapter really does focus on the spirituality of fisting as well as focuses on never taking it farther than you can. We get a step-by-step guide on how to fist as well as some tips on relaxation to allow fisting. From there, it talks about different pairings of experience and the best way to get it from there. (Inexperienced/experienced)
Chapter 11 is “Extreme Sex: S/M, Gender Play, Fetishes, Piss Play, and Scat Play”. It’s exactly how it sounds. Little detail is given to any of them, but we get a run down on why gender play has to do with anal (everyone has one. Equal playing field.), bondage when it comes to anal, electrical and piss play, and then we get quite a bit on scat play. Most of it is about health-related problems when it comes to scat play.
Chapter 12 scares and confuses me. “Recreational Drugs and Sex”. Now, it says he doesn’t agree with drug use, but most of this chapter almost feels like he’s giving you tips on how to do it. For example, he talks about how poppers should be used without lubricant and whatnot. He also talks about the effects that drugs will have on your anal sex experience as well as this: “Your drug experiencs will be more meaningful and memorable if you reserve drugs for special occassions and treat them as “sacrament”…” In some places, it really does seem like he’s giving you tips on how to use the drugs. This chapter also covers what each drug does to your body.
Chapter 13 is “Anal Health”. It talks about how to find an anal-friendly doctor and some of the anal health issues that can appear with or without anal sex. (Hemorrhoids, fissures) We then get a long explanation of each STI and how it’s transferred.
Chapter 14 is all about the resources. It includes videos, books, and webpages that would be helpful on your journey.
Overall, I wasn’t too impressed with the book. I felt like a lot of it was common knowledge, and I wish I could say I learned something new, but I really didn’t. It was a pretty bland read, and it didn’t keep my attention. However, if you haven’t had any anal experience or find anal play to be “wrong”, this book could help set you on an anal-enjoying path. I just feel that this book really is for the most basic of knowledge and for those who have an interest they’ve never acted on.
If you want to learn some of the basics of enjoying anal sex, this is the book for you. If you want to expand your knowledge, you could try this book as well – though I don’t guarantee you’ll get anything out of it.
