Sex Tips from a Dominatrix is a book published by Harper Collins and sold by Madame M.’s Sex Toys. The book is a hardcover book with a book sleeve around the outside and black and white pages on the inside. There are 13 different chapters included in these 13 different chapters. The author is Patricia Payne. The book is about the average size of about nine inches tall and five inches across. This book is set up interestingly – the picture you see in the background is the actual print on the book. The words “Sex Tips from a Dominatrix” appear on the front of the sleeve while “Spoil the Rod. Spoil the Fun” appear in really large letters on the back. Because you can remove the sleeve, it’d be possible to read this in public, but you’d have to hide the sexual-looking woman on the cover.
This book really doesn’t focus on “sex tips”. I had imagined that this was going to be oral sex and other types of tips like that from a professional dominatrix who had done things like that on the side. I was wrong. This book mostly focuses on aspects of BDSM – neat little aspects that other books don’t cover like how to get through airplane security with your kink toys. I wouldn’t say that it covers sex tips – more like kinky sex tips.
This book is a tad bit old though – it has a copyright of 1999. While this doesn’t seem to affect much of the book, it does affect some aspects like when she talks about what laws there are that apply or her resource section in the back of the book. I’d also imagine that her tips for safe traveling with kink toys have probably changed since 2001. She also doesn’t mention much about online dating while she does cover a bit about dating through personals and magazines. None of those exclusions make this book something that you should avoid just because of the date though – it’s all minor things.
Basically, each chapter starts off with a title page as well as a full-page illustration on the opposite page. Patricia writes in a friendly tone that’s going to keep you interested in the book. Never once did I find myself getting bored of the information I was learning about. While most of the information was stuff I’ve read before, I did find myself learning quite a few new things throughout the book which is something most kink books don’t manage with me. I learned how to turn a napkin into a cane and lots of other kinky things which was awesome. I’d highly recommend this to a beginner or someone who has experience – mostly because she does cover all of the beginner material, but she also includes lots of small things that experienced players may not know.
While Patricia writes from a female Dominant point of view, the book isn’t really geared “towards” either gender. The only thing that seems female-oriented is the chapter on dressing up for your BDSM session – that includes information about heels and other things. However, since it includes that information, male Dominants could use it to apply to their female submissives. (It even gives a short guide on how to do corset training as well as how to train yourself/someone else to wear ridiculous heels like 6 or 7 inches without a platform. It’s a good resource.)
Patricia did a good job including information that isn’t usually included in kink books, and I really appreciate it. For one, she gives a full chapter on “kink away from home” – so basically, how to turn regular objects that you’d find at another’s house or hotel room into kink implements. There’s also information about the different type of materials that floggers are made from and how they feel – aside from a dedicated flogger book, I haven’t seen that information included on any other kink books before.
The first chapter pretty much answers the usual “what is BDSM and why should I do it?” question. The second chapter talks about how to introduce it to your partner as well as some good kink movies to watch to get interested (the movies are a bit outdated because of the publishing date. In a modern book, “The Secretary” would surely be included.) The third chapter is all about clothing – for males and females. It talks about what clothing is considered fetish clothing as well as the importance of dressing for your scene. Like I said above, some good stilletto training and corset training guides are in this section.
The fourth chapter is all about ropework which includes illustrations and basic knots. It’ll teach you some neat little rope tricks including ones to do on breasts or a penis. The fifth chapter covers all of the bondage except rope including seran wrap, handcuffs, collars, and virtually everything else including liquid latex. Chapter six covers everything about gags, what kinds there are, and safety issues that go along with it.
The seventh chapter is all about impact toys. She covers how to use canes, floggers, paddles, and all other toys including the different types and materials and which ones are best for a beginner. Chapter eight is about how to behave with your BDSM interests in public settings like a convention or play party. Chapter nine is about how to make your bedroom a BDSM-playground by night and a regular bedroom by day. Chapter ten is all about playing away from home including how to make those on-the-go kink toys or get through airport security.
Chapter eleven is about how to make your body best for tying. I love this chapter because it includes a neat feature called “kinyoga” which is basically some yoga positions that she’s “modified” to include bondage to make the workout more fun. Chapter 12 is about how to use personals and classifieds to find a partner as well as how to present yourself. The last chapter is about advanced activities like wax play and other things.
The book does a great job introducing the beginner to kink or teaching an experienced person more about it. I enjoyed reading it because of the small things it has like the corset training guide or the “kinky yoga”. If you have any interest in BDSM, I’d highly recommend this as a book to check out. This adult toy store sells BDSM & Fetish books, so check out Sex Tips from a Dominatrix. If you’d like to purchase this book, Madame M.’s is giving me a discount: “KAY10″ will get you 10% off your total order if you purchase this book.
