If something could go wrong this year, it probably did. Fucking 2020. That being said, regardless of the year and regardless of the political atmosphere, most of us have stressful periods in our lives. Whether we have something super serious going on or just-plain-busy with whatever life throws at us, a lot of us in long-term relationships end up putting aside intimate, mindful couple’s time in order just to exist (like paying the bills, having a job, taking care of kids, etc.)
While I regularly encourage sex toys as one of the solutions to this problem (since it provides some easy novelty in the bedroom), clearly sex toys (and sex, in general) will not necessarily solve all of the concerns of a constantly-stressful lifestyle. Another helpful solution? Regular romantic trips and romantic getaways away from the things that are stressing you (like your everyday routine).
Why Not Stay Home?
We’re all busy. Holy crap, I know I’m constantly busy. Now that my social and “shopping” obligations were all removed from my schedule, I somehow found other things to occupy my time. Not to mention, this doesn’t include all of the things that still need to be done that actually take more time to get done – like visits to the licensing office or trying to get ahold of a company’s customer service line when they’re short-staffed due to COVID. Or even just last-minute meal changes when the dinner supplies I’d needed for my scheduled dinner were nowhere to be scene at the grocery store. We’re all busy, and when we’re in our usual surroundings, it can be really easy to fall into the “I need to get this done” mentality.
Home is where the to-do list is. Turns out, most of us know what needs to be done at home, and most of us have that running to-do list going on in our heads. Turns out, that makes it hard to necessarily “put aside” the necessary romantic time like a getaway can make you do. Especially when there’s no money or anything else on the line, (just like our workouts), it can be easy to cancel date night – especially when we’ve had a rough week, something came up, the babysitter canceled, or a hundred other reasons. When there is actual money and time commitments on the line, a lot of us will work a lot harder to get around some of these problems – instead of when we planned on staying home.
Pandemic stress is intense. Really, it is. 2020 is a shit year (I’m sure you’ve heard that over and over), and constant negative news and negative changes just aren’t particularly great for our immune systems. Even if you’re managing everything a-okay, without a lot of the upsides, mental benefits, and brain-boosting things in your life (like hugs from friends!), it can be easy to let the negative effects of pandemic stress take over.
Sex and connection thrives on novelty. This is the biggest reason to leave your home. Study after study shows how humans bond better when going through a new experience. By going to a new place, you automatically throw “novelty” into the equation in a way that’s impossible to do from the living room you spend hours a day in. (Possibly your entire day, if you’re now working from home!)
How Can a Romantic Getaway Help Me?
The biggest key benefit of enjoying a short romantic trip is that it gives you both time to relax and get some much-needed rest. This is vital not only for your relationship but also your health. We all need to recharge those batteries now and again, and taking a romantic break enables you both to do this together.
Especially during this time where we’re all being asked to stay home all of the time, you might have been putting off booking a trip – or getting out of the house for lengthy periods of time. I get that. I know I certainly have been – and now, ten months later, I’ve been suffering the consequences of that with some (unnecessary) romantic stress between myself and my partners – purely because I’m going through some form of romantic stir-crazy.
Another additional benefit is that getting out of the house literally forces you to abandon all of those “to-do” projects. You can’t stress about how dirty the bathroom is if you can’t see it. It’s a whole lot easier to forget. You can’t see the piles of clothes that need to be laundered, or the various things you’ve been meaning to pick up – but haven’t. When we leave ourselves in our typical surroundings, we’re much-more-tempted to go through our typical routines. But when we remove ourselves from those surroundings, it’s a whole lot easier to relax.
Another upside? If you know you’re going to be outside of your routine for awhile, most of us take the time to “get our things in order”. You probably make sure all of the bills are paid, everything is ready to be left alone, and you’re ready to travel. Essentially, you do all of the hard stuff and work stuff now in order to spend that time away-from-home just enjoying the trip. Sure, those days before a trip might be more stressful-than-usual, but the trip itself – and the complete lack of “must-dos” – usually makes up for it for most of us. This gives you so much more free time that you wouldn’t otherwise have.
Plus, there’s the whole point of taking a romantic getaway: literally more time together. With less time going to work, to chores, and to all of the “to-dos” around the house, there’s literally more time to spend with one another. Add this onto the fact that you’re taking this trip just for romance, and a lot of us end up in a great mental state in order to get some serious quality time together too.
New places provide simple novelty. Remember how we talked about how novelty provides bonding hormones for people? Whether you’re friends, family, lovers, or complete strangers, that’s true. Romantic getaways, especially to places you haven’t been, by definition, are more “romantic” and “intimate”. Add in new experiences (like new toys, romantic board games, or anything else), and you have an experience that’s bound for a whole lot of bonding.
Are Finances Tight?
Okay, so a “romantic getaway” isn’t exactly cheap – especially if you’re dealing with some job-related issues that are causing some monetary problems.
One way around this can be camping. Assuming you have some of the camping gear, camping can be pretty darn cheap. If it’s something you and enjoy, you and your partner can have some romantic, under-the-stars experiences while camping – and you’ve effectively left your home entirely behind.
During non-pandemic times, you might also consider house-sitting for a friend while they’re away in exchange for staying the night there with your partner. Depending on how comfortable you are with that friend, they might have some ground rules (especially regarding sex – like bringing your own sheets and making the bed), but this can be a free way to experience being in a new space without spending a dime.
If nothing else, you can always try a “staycation” at home. You have to be particularly careful with staycations, though. It can be pretty easy to fall into the “We have free time, so let’s do something” or even something as simple as “My boss sent me this email; let me get on my computer to answer real quick.” To have a successful romantic staycation, you need to set some ground rules to keep the focus on the connection. For optimal success, have as many household chores done ahead of time – and plan a schedule of specific bonding/romantic/sexual activities ahead of time to avoid falling into the “Let’s just watch TV” trap.
