“I need you”, “I’m nothing without you”, “You give meaning to my life”. You think these are random lines from popular love songs? Actually, these are the signs of love addiction. It turns out that most songs praise unhealthy relationships.
Love can be a beautiful feeling. However, it can also be destructive if a person becomes abnormally attached to their object of love – or even obsessed. This obsession can be called “love addiction”. What is love addiction? Like drug addicts use drugs to get high, love addicts use the feeling of being in love to feel fulfilled and happy. They are interested in that intoxicating hormonal cocktail that causes butterflies in the stomach and the feeling of attachment. When they are out of a relationship, they feel depressed and anxious. Usually, people “addicted” to love aren’t interested in long-term relationships because long-term partnerships are usually a stable stage, free of abounding emotions.
What causes love addiction? Love is basically chemistry. Our hormones and neurotransmitters are responsible for causing the feelings of affection, excitement, pleasure, and sexual attraction. Since romantic attachment is developed in the same part of the brain as addiction to food, alcohol, or drugs, it comes as no surprise that some call it “love addiction”.
Both women and men can become love addicts. Being in this psychological state, people torment not only themselves but also the objects of their affection: their partners. Of course, when you love someone, you want to be with that person and you’re afraid of losing him or her. However, there is a big difference between true love and love addiction. Healthy love can provide a comfortable base for participants to grow and feel safe. Love addiction will usually bring unhealthy behavior, drastic mood swings, and worse.
Love addition symptoms
Close romantic relationships require a certain level of connection between two people. Unfortunately, that means co-dependency and addiction can be easy to fall into for many people. In a relationship, partners try to correlate with one another’s emotional state and adjust to the lifestyle, habits, and tastes of the other partner. This adjustment remains healthy as long as each of the partners has personal space and freedom for self-fulfillment. A healthy relationship is the one in which partners become “we” without ruining the “I” of each other. If this line is crossed, it can lead to forms of unhealthy love that may cause anguish and unhealthy behaviors. Here are more specific signs of love addiction:
You fall in love quickly. You’re not picky when choosing the object of love. If a person attracts you with their appearance and shows the slightest interest in you, it’s already a trigger for you to fall in love. You don’t wait until you know a person good enough to fall for their personality or the way they treat you. As a result, you can profess your love already on a first or second date. Everyone is susceptible to the idea of lust or getting carried away in the initial attraction, but those who have issues with personal boundaries and “love addiction” issues may find difficulty in controlling their newfound interest.
Love is always on your mind. When you’re not in a relationship, you’re in search for someone to fall for. Your thoughts are occupied with fantasies about an ideal partner or reminiscences of past love experiences.
You can’t be alone for too long. Being alone is unbearable for you because your happiness depends on the state of being in love. When you’re alone, your number one purpose is to quickly find a partner.
You’re extremely jealous. When you’re in a relationship, you’re very focused on your partner, and you’re afraid of losing him or her. The fear of being cheated on makes you get jealous even if there is no ground for it.
You put up with any disrespect or abuse. The need for an addictive “fix” of love or attention can overwhelm the senses making it difficult for a person to set boundaries or stand up for themselves. A love addict will do anything to please their partner. This can lead to a person becoming an “easy” target for abuse.
Other aspects of your life suffer. Due to your sex and love addiction, you’re less focused on your career, family, and friends.
How to overcome/prevent love addiction?
- Look over your relationship:
It’s time to assess your partner and your relationship. Think why you are with this person, evaluate their merits and flaws, and their attitude to you. Ask your friend for opinion to see your relationship from another perspective. Try to remember that every relationship should enhance your life in a positive, healthy manner. - Practice self-confidence:
People who know their own worth will try to find someone decent, who will respect and love them for who they are. They are not afraid of ending the relationship that makes them unhappy. - Develop your personality.
If you’re too focused on your partner, it can be hard to set your own boundaries and practice healthy personal choices. Being an independent person, with your own interests, passions, and views is more important than being a person in love. Try meeting new people with an open mind. Talking to others will make you realize the many possibilities out there and not settle for the first option. If you can’t think of someone specific, just go out to a bar or local class for your hobby and make new friends. You can also try inviting a male escort for something totally platonic as well. - Don’t be afraid to end an addictive relationship.
The best way to get rid of love addiction is to break up with the person you’re addicted to – especially if that relationship is unhealthy or abusive. Use that alone-time for self-improvement, set your priorities, deal with your fears, or seek out professional help to get a clear understanding of what a healthy love is. Of course, it’s possible to modify a current relationship to move closer to a healthy type of relationship, but your first step will be discussing this with your partner and ensuring they’re on-board.
Looking for other love advice? Consider checking out Casanova Style.
