The Better Sex Guide to Extraordinary Lovemaking is a large hardcover book coming in at 351 pages. It’s about the average physical size of a piece of printer paper except it’s a little wider. The book is full-color and has tons of gorgeous pictures inside. It’s created by the Sinclair Institute which is the same place that produces most of the Better Sex videos. It’s published by Quiver Books. The front of this book shows a bunch of pretty black hearts and the title largely on the cover. The hearts are all shiny-like and look gorgeous. The back includes the same hearts and just has a description of what’s in the book. Because of the obvious nature of the cover as well as the tons and tons of sexual pictures inside of the book, I recommend against reading this in public. Like, really recommend against it.
When I first had look at this book on this adult sex store, I honestly thought it was going to be a paperback book with about a hundred pages. When the guy who sent it for review was talking about how they were so heavy, I was thoroughly confused. After receiving it in the mail though, I do have to agree. While these aren’t ridiculously heavy for a book, they do feel almost as hefty as the average weight of one of my textbooks. I was impressed that they managed to make a book that actually had this much weight to it.
This book, basically, is meant to cover all of the basics about how to improve your sex life. It doesn’t go in-depth on anyone one thing (like fellatio, sex positions, etc.) but instead chooses to focus on all of the aspects of your sex life such as a roleplaying, sex toys, orgasms, positions, anal sex, teasing, masturbation, and how to improve your closeness. While you shouldn’t expect this to improve your sex life on every subject (everyone knows something a little more in-depth than this book goes on at least one subject), it’s on the subjects that you don’t know that it will help improve your sex life. This really is a pretty basic overview though, so if you are an avid reader of every sex book you can get your hands on (like myself) this won’t help much, but if you are choosing this out as one of the select few sex books to read, I’d honestly highly, highly recommend it.
I do like the fact that, no matter what is being discussed, this book will treat you like you are the utmost beginner. While it’s annoying on things you already know, (myths of masturbation, etc.) it’s actually extremely helpful on those things you don’t because you don’t feel like the author has “assumed” you know the basics which can be a problem in some other overview-type books.
The book doesn’t read like it was written by just one person, but that’s not really a big deal since the writing style only seems to change by chapter. It didn’t effect my reading at all, and it’s a very, very subtle change. The writing itself is actually pretty decent to read – albeit dry sometimes – but it does get the point across, along with all of the lesson, without seeming condescending or anything like that. Because of the semi-dry writing style, though, I do recommend you read this book in shorter doses. It has lots of good information in it that you shouldn’t miss out on, but if you read for too long at a time, it may start to bore you because of all of the information. Besides, I doubt you had intended on reading 350 pages in one sitting anyway. The chapters are actually about the perfect size to just read through one chapter and put the book down.
As stated before, the book is full-color and does include lots of sexual pictures. Something of note, however, is that none of those pictures include the genitals. There’s tons of naked bodies and lots and lots of bare breasts, but there aren’t any genitals to be seen. The only place that genitals will be seen in in the very, very few (like three) hand-drawn illustrations included in the book. This is probably to keep the pictures tasteful instead of trashy. As with most adult books’ pictures, all of the bodies included are perfectly toned and very skinny – the average “model” look. (Although Tommy Gunn was included for a couple pictures in here which made me giggle.)
I think the publishers knew that their writing was a bit dry because they’ve included so many “extras” that help the text become much more interesting and fun. It’s these little extras that are sprinkled throughout the book that really make it more fun and exciting to turn to each new page.
For example, one of the neat things is that, on almost every page, along the side is about a two inch margin that includes “Sexpertise”. This sexpertise is sometimes silly sex facts, sometimes includes some extra reminders about the actual content on the page, or sometimes goes off to talk about something completely different than what’s on the page. Of course, on the pages where there isn’t this two-inch column, this leads to tons of empty space, but I like reading the information in it, and it really makes it fun to read what is included on the sidebar.
Another fun feature of this sex-help book is the “In The Bedroom” column. This things are usually one-page or longer mini, step-by-step lessons on how to perform something in the bedroom such as good fellatio or deep breathing to help calm you and ready you for sex. This small little lessons usually include the step-by-step directions which is something you don’t normally see in the text of the actual book itself.
Of course, another fun feature is one that some books already utilize: “Sexual Q&A”. Once in awhile, there’s about a half-page Q&A section where someone asks a question (usually pretty relevant and not usually one of those really, really basic questions like “How do I pleasure him?”). The writer goes on to to answer the question in the best way possible. For example, the question I’m looking at right now is “Since learning that my partner’s last lover was quite adept in bed, I’ve been easily losing my erection. Any tips on how I can reclaim my level of performance?”
A nice addition that is included at the end of every chapter is called “Sexual Homework”. This includes things that the book wants you to try before you start reading into the next chapter. It usually portains to the information in the chapter that you’ve already read, and it’s an effort to get you to retain and remember the information that you just learned.
The last one that’s included in the book is the “Sexercise” section. This usually includes something small that it asks you to do with your partner (like try something new – nonsexual or sexual) or it asks you to write down your feelings in a sex journal that it recommends you keep. It also sometimes includes some discussions that you and your partner should talk about (includes questions and everything). The Sexercise sections are probably my favorite “feature” of the book, and I’ve used the journal and discussion topics, and we’ve definitely had nice discussions over them.
Since I don’t want to type your ear off, I’m going to end off by explaining what the book includes and how it is organized. Basically, this book runs with three different “Steps” (sections): Desire, Arousal, and Orgasm. Underneath each of these sections is different chapters that help explain different aspects of the step it’s under. Overall, there are fifteen chapters – 3 in Desire, 9 in Arousal, 3 in Orgasm. Each chapter utilizes the writing style and the extra features that were spoken about above.
The Desire section basically includes your basic knowledge about sex. Masturbation facts, what the body goes through during sex (physical, mental, and hormonal wise) and why it’s something that you and your partner should do. The Arousal section is about all the fun, unique parts of sex like roleplaying, oral sex, anal sex, sex positions, BDSM, sex toys, teasing, mutual masturbation, and fantasies. The Orgasm section talks about those ending points of sex such as tricks to intensify your orgasm, how to have multiple orgasms, and how to keep your sex fresh and fun.
I think I definitely got something out of this. It wasn’t much on the knowledge side because I hang out with sex books 24/7, but I got a lot out of the exercises and discussions that the book brought into Jor and I’s sex life. I loved the full-color pictures, it felt friendly and sincere, and all-around, it seems like it did a great job of covering some of the basics. The only thing that I found that I thought was a giant red flag is that it recommended love balls/kegal balls as a great anal toy. That’s a big no-no – especially for a beginner reading this book. Aside from that little minor thing, the book seemed pretty accurate, pretty beginner-friendly, and just all around a neat book for the price. This sex toy store sells this book for better sex, to pick up the Better Sex Guide to Extraordinary Lovemaking today.
