When you’re living with other people, it can be difficult to keep your sex life private. After all, if there’s someone in the bedroom right next to yours, you don’t want to disturb them with your sex life, but you have to balance that with the idea of getting to have enjoyable, passionate sex at the same time. Keeping your sex life private with roommates can be difficult, but it can be done. Here are some suggestions to help the process go as smoothly as possible:
Talk to your Roommates: If at all possible, the first step you take should be to talk to your roommates. Yes, they may be total strangers, but you don’t “have’ to say what it’s about. Instead of saying “I’m looking to find local sex partners to bring home tonight”, say something like “I want to let you guys know that there might be some noise from my bedroom tonight.” The first time you say this, your roommates might think you’re playing music or video games, but after the first time, they’ll get the hint about what you’re saying. In the future, this common courtesy allows your roommate to let you know if they need you to keep it down – for example, if they have to work at 5AM or if they’re studying for a final. Using this method, make sure to try and respect those times when they need you to be quiet. After all, they’re respecting your need to make noise.
Try to Cover It Up: While it may not always work, some roommates may prefer the sound of loud music versus the sound of moaning in an otherwise-quiet apartment. If you think that will work better, try turning on some music before the two of you start having sex. Unless you have it really loud, it may not cover up all of the noises, but it will help cover up some of the quieter noises. (If you do turn up the music really loudly, though, be prepared for a roommate to knock on the door to ask you to turn it down since they won’t know what you’re up to!)
Make it a Game: If you and your partner aren’t always having sex at this place, it can be a game when you are in the room. It can be enjoyable and erotic to try and “be quiet” when the two of you normally aren’t. This doesn’t work nearly as well if this particular room is the only place the two of you have sex, but if you tend to alternate between your place and their place, getting to have sex quietly can be part of the appeal to having sex at your place.
Work Out a System: If you and your roommates have become closer than pure strangers, it might be worth working out a system. If they know they’ll be making noise or you know you will be, you both can work out some sort of catchphrase or signal that lets them know that something may go on tonight. Just like leaving a “hairtie on the doorknob” in college dorms, this lets your roommates know to expect some noise – so maybe they can plan to get studying done beforehand. In many cases, maybe even saying something like “My girlfriend is staying the night tonight” might be enough of a tip-off.
Plan Things: If you live in a situation where you really don’t want the other housemates knowing about what’s going on (such as when you live with your parents), you’ll want to plan your visits. This way, you can have sex as loudly as you want when no one else is home. Make sure to plan ample time, though. You don’t want someone coming home right in the middle when you’re not prepared for it. Especially in the case of your parents, it’ll definitely be best to plan for time after the sex to get your appearance pulled back together.
Keeping your sex life private while in crowded living is difficult, but it’s totally possible. It will just require some communication, some flexibility with how loud you have sex, and some flexibility with what times you want to have sex. Have some of your own tips? Feel free to leave them below!
