Flogger Safety
Floggers honestly are a dangerous weapon if you want to use them during a scene. Because each flogger is unique and varies in its handling, you want to try out and practice every single flogger you own before you attempt to use them on a real-life partner. You should use a pillow and aim for the same spot. If you can’t hit that spot every time you swing it, you shouldn’t be doing any sort of rough flogger use with a partner. Since floggers are primarily used on the butt, that puts most swings close to the kidneys. The kidneys can be injured on impact.
As with all types of BDSM play, make sure you have your partner’s consent to play with a flogger. If are still a beginner, I recommend you start off with a soft, rabbit-fur flogger or something just as equally light. When you’re new, you’re likely to make some mistakes – which is normal. You just don’t want to hurt your partner in the process.
The body is something you should know the basics about before you start doing flogging. You only want to flog parts that have fat parts on another person’s body. Those parts are only the back parts of the thighs, the front parts of the thighs, and the butt. Depending on the weight of the person, the upper-back (away from the spine) is also acceptable. I don’t recommend flogging any limb because they don’t keep enough fat on them. Because they are so skinny, the nerves are close to the surface which makes the flogging actually dangerous. Keep your hits to the butt or surrounding area.
BDSM Flogger Terms to Know
Handle: A handle of the flogger is where you, quite literally, wrap your hand around the flogger in order to hold it.
Weighted Handle: Nice, high-end floggers offer weighted handles. Essentially, weight is added to the bottom of the handle to off-set the weight of the tails. If you balance the mid-point of the handle on a finger, a weighted-handle flogger will not topple to the ground. The idea is that any flogger should be perfectly balanced in your hand. This reduces the fatigue of swinging it, and it provides better accuracy. People who are proficient in flogging will have a full collection floggers with weighted handles.
Tails/Falls: You’ll see the long, stringy bits called the “tails” or the “falls” of the flogger. The tip of these is what we want to hit your partner when using a flogger.
Wrap-Around: Wrap-around is what happens when you don’t hit your partner with the very tips of the “tails”. Let’s say you hit your partner with the middle of the tails. The rest of the stringy material isn’t just going to freeze mid-air and fall down. It will keep moving in the same trajectory that the material had been on. It gains even more momentum until the tips end up striking your partner. This is called “wrap around” because it often wraps around the person’s side, hip, or torso to strike somewhere you weren’t originally facing.
What BDSM Flogger Should I Buy?
Of course, the biggest aspect of floggers is the idea of purchasing them. If you take a look around the internet, BDSM floggers are made of every different material possible. Personally, I own a rubber, duct tape, suede, faux fur, and leather flogger. They also make them out of cowhide, horse hair, deer skin, doeskin, bullhide, elk, goat, kangaroo, lamb, moose and virtually anything else you can think of. I’ve actually seen a flogger made completely of rubber chickens. (I wish I could find the link.)
The basic rule of thumb being: Pay attention to the weight and the tails. The heavier the flogger, the more it tends to leave a “thud” than a “sting”. When it’s lighter, it normally stings. It all depends on what kind of sensation you are going for. Thuddy sensations can feel more like a massage and are generally pleasurable for a submissive to receive. Stingy feels more like a slap on the butt with multiple little hands, so it tends to be a little more painful. Of course, floggers can also be scratchy but those are usually floggers to avoid. Honestly, I recommend at least one thuddy flogger and possibly one stingy one. You can make a great session just out of a thuddy flogger but having only a singular stingy one is a bit more difficult. They also compliment each other well – a thuddy flogging makes for a great warm-up for a stingy-flogging.
The ends of the tails are also particularly important. If they are cut straight, they won’t hurt as much. Any angle in the tails tends to make it sting more, and anything in the “snake bite” fashion ( |\/| ) makes it hurt even more. Snake bite tails usually make for the most stingy flogger.
A suede, deerskin, or soft leather flogger usually makes for the best “massage”/thuddy feel. As long as they are used in a rhythmic pattern, you can easily lapse into a relaxed mental state. However, the rubber, rough leather, or any specialty flogger can end up being stingy or possible scratching the skin. Of course, how hard you use it will make a big difference in how it feels. For something that can be felt but isn’t too massaging, I recommend a light flogger like a rabbit fur or a faux fur flogger.
Remember that many floggers will have a high price tag. To start off, you may want to avoid the higher price tags by staying away from “personally”-made floggers since the amount of time and love gone into them usually brings up the price. Ebay usually has some pretty good deals on floggers as well as other general sex toy stores. For a beginner, I actually recommend the Fluffy Flogger from Eden Fantasys (“EP4” will get you 15% off of it which will bring it down to only about $40.) The rubber floggers carry a tiny price tag, but they also can be pretty stingy and may put you off from a future flogger purchase. As with every toy, what you think will work best for you is the most important aspect.
How to Use a BDSM Flogger
I’m gonna be honest: using a flogger is simple in theory and annoyingly difficult to master.
To use a flogger, you, quite literally, just swing it. You want the very tips of the tails to hit the spot you were aiming for. You do NOT want the flogger to hit in the middle of the flogger’s tails; this causes wrap-around.
As you can guess, it’s harder than it looks – sorta like how “how to shoot a basket in basketball” is heavily technique and practice driven despite being one simple step.
Different Ways to Use Floggers
Floggers work for a variety of uses during a scene or during sex. During sex, you will want to choose a light flogger that doesn’t cause any sting; it will increase the power exchange but won’t distract from the sex. During a scene, you can use multiple floggers to help enhance your scene. Most people choose to start off with a heavier, thuddy flogger for a warm-up and to slowly move up to stingier floggers with a thuddy flogger sometimes thrown in to help manage the pain.
There are two different ways a beginner will usually yield a flogger for scene use. For bedroom use, much technique is not involved. For scene use, there is a figure eight pattern and a side-to-side sweeping motion. For a figure-eight pattern, you will want to strike your target in the “middle” of the figure-eight. The figure-eight will be done on a horizontal plane, and you’ll end up getting in two hits for each stroke you take. The side-to-side just consists of swinging your arm from one side to the other with one hit in the middle of the stroke. After your hit, the tails will wrap around your own body then you repeat by going back to the other side.
Overall, the biggest use is just to have fun with your partner. If you enjoy playing with a flogger and its safe, go ahead and do it. If you enjoy your flogging, have fun collecting all the different types of floggers. Enjoy yourself!
Updated: May 2025.
