XXXopoly Game Review

XXXopoly Game
Showing the front packaging of the box

XXXopoly is an adult version of the Monopoly game that includes foreplay along with the game itself sold by this adult toy store. The game also includes instructions, and it comes in a sturdy cardboard box that is not discreet. Along with this, the game itself comes with the game board, two game pieces, two die, 50 time chips, 50 “Hot and Heavy” cards, 50 “Erotic Chest” cards, 28 property cards, and 135 different pieces of paper money. The board is folded up into fourths, and it’s slightly smaller than the regular Monopoly board and will easily fit onto any average-sized table.

XXXopoly can only be played with two players. This was a large surprise to me when I opened up the box. It only includes enough pieces to work with two pieces as there are only two player markers and barely enough money for those two players. If you wanted to take money from another game to use with this one, it would work if you wanted to play this with more than two people though. This would actually make an excellent swingers game as all of the cards give you basic options to do, and if you are uncomfortable doing that action with the person, you can easily back-out by paying the money instead.

This game plays just like regular Monopoly – except with two people. If you’ve ever played Monopoly with two people, it gets off to a really slow start and doesn’t really “speed” up. This can make this game take a very, very long, long time. Honestly, we haven’t once completed the game. We’ll play for like two hours before giving up on the game. I think this is what’s going to happen for most people. Since the game actually includes spots for penetration, I think most people will either give up out of boredom, or they’lll get so caught up in the penetration squares that they’ll just go “Screw the game”. It’s a neat game, but you can spend a whole lot of time actually playing the game.

XXXopoly Game
The contents of the game

So how does it play? Just like your normal game of Monopoly. The two players move around the board, and as you do, you attempt to buy the properties which are named after sexual acts. Along with that, there’s the “Hot and Heavy” and “Erotic Chest” landing spots and other spots that ask you to remove clothing or pay a fine. The “Erotic Chest” items can vary quite a bit in what they ask you to do. Some ask you to talk about something sexy with your partner while others make you both promise to try doing something new within the next week or things like that. The “Hot and Heavy” cards are all cards that ask you and your partner to do something sexual such as giving a massage with massage oil for a minute.

XXXopoly Game
Showing the information on all the cards

The other big change is how you give “payment” when you land on another person’s properties. While there’s still cash, this game includes another system. You can also pay with a sexual favor of which each property is named after. So if you land on “Oral Fixation” the card tells you to perform oral sex on your partner. The catch is that you only get a specific time limit. When an unupgraded-property, you usually only get 10 or 15 seconds of the activity (or, if they want to, they could also pay $80 or so). However, as the property-owner upgrades with “time chips” (XXXopoly’s version of houses), you get more time as well as the “opt-out fee” raises. It ends up working well because you can pay the sexual favor if you want to or you can pay the actual money as well.

XXXopoly Game
Showing the board game itself

So what are some of the properties? Cat Scratch Club, Rodeo Ride, Missionary Worship, Massage Parlor, Nibble Necking, Sucking Street, Inner Desires, Sitting Stiff, Rub Down Court, Stand at Erection, Downtown Dining, Grand Dog Parlor, and many, many more. The property names are amusing, and each card lets you know what the sexual favor it represents is. However, I will say that I was not nearly as impressed with one entire side of the board being completely sex positions. Each property describes a sex position, and the time limits starts off at 10 seconds. I don’t know about you, but it would be a huge pain to take the time to get into the sex position then get to do it for only ten seconds. After the other three sides of foreplay activities, I have a feeling that most couples would stop playing the game once reaching one of these sexual position cards as ten seconds of penetration then stopping seems more annoying than fun. I wish they could have taken out all of the sex position cards entirely or only made the sex position cards on the two top-ranked properties instead.

The “Hot and Heavy” cards are all sexual things. For example, there’s one about giving your partner a lap dance for 30 seconds, Ones that show you sexual positions to get into, one that tells you to kiss your partner from head to toe, rubbing ice cubes on a partner’s body, or passing an ice cube back and forth between the two of you.

The “Erotic Chest” cards are an interesting varied sexual items. For example, one tells you to tell your partner the kinkiest thing you want to do. Another makes you take the card as an IOU for a sexual time later in the week. Another asks you to alternate naming brands of condoms and the loser has to pay the winner some cash. Another asks you to suck on your partner’s finger for 30 seconds. Another tells you to tell your partner one thing they do that drives you wild in bed.

The boyfriend and I did enjoy playing it though; it basically works as your regular Monopoly game except with a bit of a twist. The activities can be great for foreplay if you are lacking in inspiration for foreplay ideas, but the two of you may never end up finishing this game just because it can run a very long time. It’s fun and entertaining to play, You both can have a lot of fun playing this as a Monopoly game or just as a game for foreplay. Thanks to SexToy.com for sending me this board game for my XXXopoly review.

Mistress Kay
Mistress Kay
Sex toy reviewer, kink educator, and weirdo who is constantly staging pretty photos for sex toys.

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