10 Suggestions to Ease Yourself into Kinkier Sex

March 10th, 17   •   Posted by Mistress Kay   •   No Comments »

Very few sensations compare to the enjoyment of making love. Sex is a sensation unto itself, but there are moments where it can feel a bit stale. Whether you are dating a new man, or simply looking to spice up your tired sexual routine with your long-term partner, there are ways to make even the standard sex acts new and exciting. You might not be ready to jump straight into the “handcuffs” and “blindfolds” – and that’s okay. Consider some of these slightly-kinky suggestions to ease yourself into the idea of kinkier sex – and go further if you want. Or don’t if you don’t. That’s the beauty of sexual experimentation – you only have to do what feels fun for you!

1. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want
For some people, speaking out in the bedroom can be tough, but your partner may find it incredibly sexy when you can share your fantasies and your needs. Whether you are canoodling before the act or you’re in the middle of sex, don’t be afraid to share your desires. How do you expect to have the best sex ever if your partner doens’t know what “the best sex ever” even includes?

2. Make Eye Contact
The eyes are the window to the soul, and there is no sultrier a moment to lock eyes than while you are going down on your partner. Look up, make sure they see you, and keep doing what you’re doing. It is an easy way to take an ordinary blowjob from average to extraordinary.

3. Take the Lead
If you are normally submissive, surprise your lover by taking control of your bedroom activities. Most people love it when their partner takes charge – and they get to be the lazy one and lay back and just enjoy the pleasure. Whether it’s something as simple as being the aggressor during a make-out session or you want to be on-top during sex, taking the lead can offer new possibilities for sex.

4. Vibrators Aren’t Only for Solo Play
Bust out the vibrator next time you are playing in the bedroom. While they are a great tool for solo orgasms, they can also be used to bring your duet action to new heights. Use a bullet to stimulate his shaft while you go down on a penis, or let your partner have control of the vibrator to bring you to orgasm using your favorite sex toy with the wonders of technology.

5. Masturbate In Front of Them
Masturbating in front of your partner might seem like a weird way to turn them on, but what partner doesn’t like to see their partner enjoying themselves? You can keep it simple by just playing with yourself, or pull out all the stops and let it lead into penetration. Whatever you feel like doing, you should do.

6. Grind Slow While You are On Top
Your hips don’t lie, and moving them during sex ensures they don’t. When you are on top, try grinding your hips against your partner. Hip movements are erotic, and the sensations and the view partner together for a potent erotic cocktail. There is more than simple thrusting for penetration, and you can use this to your advantage.

7. Ask Them about Their Fantasies
All people want to feel desired and loved. They also want to know that you care about what they like. Ask your partner to jot down his top 5 fantasies. Take a look at his interests, and try to find a way that they could fit into your own pleasure profile. Do they want to watch as you strip during amateur night at the local strip club? Well, maybe that one isn’t within your comfort level, but you’d be willing to hop onto the (sturdy, please!) living room coffee table for a private strip tease while they sit on the couch.

8. Use Your Hands
Once you and your partner get used to having intercourse, the days of handjobs and slipping a hand up someone’s skirt might fall by the wayside. It doesn’t have to though! Not only does manual stimulation offer the flexibility of way more positions, but it’s something that can be done in public – or when one of you isn’t feeling like full-intercourse.

9. Don’t Forget the Perineum
The perineum is the sensual spot between your partner’s genitals and their anus. It is full of nerve endings – no matter the gender. Rub gently and caress the spot as your partner gets close to orgasm for an out-of-this-world experience. Some people, however, are uncomfortable with touches in this area, so it will depend on your partner.

10. Slip a Condom on with Your Mouth
While more of an erotic visual than a useful technique, it can be hot to watch a partner apply to condom in this unconventional manner. For the beginner, you might want to try using your hands for a bit of help. Keep your lips close to the penis as you apply the condom, and as your hand rolls down the condom, follow the condom with your lips for a “faux” mouth application.

Kink Wet Works Waterproof Pillow Case Review

March 01st, 17   •   Posted by Mistress Kay   •   No Comments »
Kink Wet Works Waterproof Pillow Case

Kink Wet Works Waterproof Pillow Case

For those times when sex might get a bit “wet”, the Kink Wet Works Waterproof Pillow Case is there for you. Created for the Kink.com line designed by Doc Johnson, this pillowcase is sold by Eden’s Toy Box. Waterproof and designed to fit onto a standard pillow, this pure-black pillowcase offers a fold over flap design for further protection. The pillow is heat sealed at every seam for leak-proof protection, and the pillow is machine washable for easy cleaning.

Kink Wet Works Waterproof Pillow Case

Showing the waterproof interior lining

I bet you’ve never considered the packaging for a pillowcase before, have you? Well, now is your time to start. The Kink Wet Works Waterproof Pillowcase ITSELF comes in a non-discreet, relatively large box emblazoned with the Kink.com and Doc Johnson logos on it. Eden’s Toy Box ships this box inside of a brown, completely-discreet standard box. All of the features of the pillowcase are printed on the sides of the pillowcase’s packaging. The box is a bit of an oblong shape, so it’d be difficult to wrap as a gift, and it really doesn’t have a use for storage. It will get the pillowcase to you safely, though, and stand out on a retail store shelf.

Kink Wet Works Waterproof Pillow Case

Packaging for the Kink Wet Works Waterproof Pillow Case

I could spend a long time trying to tell you exactly how to put this pillowcase on a pillow, but I think you guys can figure it out. This one makes it particularly easy as well. The pillowcase is like a standard pillowcase with one of the ends of the case entirely open and ready to accept your (standard-sized!) pillow. Just open up that side and slide in the pillow. As an extra layer of protection for the pillow, however, the end also has an extra layer of material (a flap) that covers this opening to prevent liquid from getting inside of the pillowcase. So, just slide the pillow into the pillowcase and fold over the flap. Done!

Kink Wet Works Waterproof Pillow Case

Showing the fold-over design of the Kink Wet Works Waterproof Pillow Case

The waterproof pillowcase feels pretty good. As you can tell from the pictures, it has a bit of a rubber-y look to it, and that actually works well for it. It’s not satin-soft, so your head/body won’t just slide off the pillow. It has a little bit of a grip to it, but it’s a nice grip to it. Closer to nice leather car seats versus vinyl car seats.

Kink Wet Works Waterproof Pillow Case

Part of the Kink.com Wet Works line

And how well does it work? After all, most people will be purchasing this in order to enjoy the waterproof aspect of the pillowcase. The first thing to realize is that this system isn’t foolproof. Since the pillowcase’s fastening method is only a strip of fold-over material, that’s not 100% waterproof. If you’re planning on protecting your favorite, passed-down-through-the-generations pillow with this case, you may want to consider a waterproof, bedbug covering that zips up around all sides with this black covering over that layer. That will provide the 100% waterproof necessary to truly protect the pillow. Why would you do it that way? Well, that way, you get the true waterproof capabilities from the inner layer while the outer layer looks sexier, is more comfortable, and can be easily stripped on and off for machine wash-ability. The likelihood that any liquid will touch the interior pillow is minimal, so it basically makes clean-up after a wet session turn into “just pull off and wash” instead of worrying about the entire pillow. This is a similar system to how almost all sex furniture is designed.

Kink Wet Works Waterproof Pillow Case

Showing the material shine of the Kink Wet Works Waterproof Pillow Case

As for how that works, though, the pillow works pretty well – especially for smaller spills. Semen, squirting, lubricants, food play, and liquids wipe up seamlessly off the surface of the pillow. After you’ve wiped up the mess, the entire pillowcase can just be placed into the washing machine. It’s an extremely simple system. However, without adding in the above-mentioned second layer of protection, I would be careful about doing anything that would submerge this pillow in water or other liquids such as intense watersports play. The fold-over design isn’t foolproof on its own, and it’s likely to get a bit of the mess into the pillow if you’re in a puddle/pool of a liquid.

The Kink Wet Works Waterproof Pillowcase was specifically created to help keep pillows dry from liquids or lubricants. This gives it use for watersports purposes or female ejaculation purposes. It also can be an easy-cleaning solution for laying-down “titty fucking” (I hate that term, but it’s the easiest visual I can come up with) positions. It also can be used for people who want a “safe” headrest for Nuru massage sex or other super-slippery types of sex. If any of your types of play tend to get a bit messy, this Wet Works Waterproof Pillowcase just ensures that you still have a dry pillow – and that you can easily wash the pillowcase afterwards.

Kink Wet Works Waterproof Pillow Case

Another view of the fold-over design

When it comes to cleaning a pillowcase like this, it’s designed to be as easy as possible. After all, you’re going to be getting it pretty messy. The pillowcase can be washed in the washing machine. The box specifically says you can machine wash the pillowcase, and it should be hung to dry. You’ll definitely want to open up and squish around this pillowcase before you remove it from the washing machine. Don’t be like me. As the Kink Wet Works Waterproof Pillow Case is, well, waterproof, it retains water well. Which means any water that gets inside the pillowcase *stays* inside unless you dump it out before removing it after. Or you can remove it before dumping out the water and end up dumping all the water on yourself. I did that one. Either way, the pillow case is super easy to clean for, and all of the messes easily wash off the surface of the pillowcase in the wash.

Overall, the Kink Wet Works Waterproof Pillow Case is definitely going to save your pillows from any sort of messes that you might be making. While it’s not a “be all, end all” solution since the fold-over flap doesn’t seal in any fashion (and that’s my sole complaint), it’s a very, very good solution for people who enjoy wet play or tend to get semen/squirting/lube all over the pillowcase on a regular basis. The pillow is simple to take care of, easily fits on most standard pillows and without much of an issue, and it feels pretty sensual to the touch as well. Plus, the Kink Wet Works line also makes a matching bedsheet set! Thanks to Eden’s Toy Box for providing this waterproof pillowcase for my Kink Wet Works Waterproof Pillow Case Review.

Everything You Need to Know About Negotiating a BDSM Scene With a Stranger

February 17th, 17   •   Posted by Mistress Kay   •   No Comments »

As many “in the lifestyle” will attest – or even those who just enjoy a blindfold now and then – kinky sex and kinky activities can be an absolutely great way to spend an afternoon. Not only does it expand the smut options you have at your disposal, but it also can be cathartic and enjoyable entirely outside of the sexual range.

That being said, playing with a stranger can, noticeably, have some serious safety concerns. BDSM is generally regarded as a large exercise in trust – trust that someone will respect your limits, untie you when you’re done, never hurt you more than you can take, will respect your body, and so forth. Playing with a stranger certainly changes a lot of these things into more of a hopeful wish – instead of the established trust you know you can count on. With that in mind, you need to be extra careful. With that care comes a full, negotiation beforehand. Not only does their willingness to negotiate show their seriousness about kink, but it also allows you both to figure out what you do/don’t want to do during the scene. While I highly recommend you do this long before the day you both are meeting up to play (and just doing a quick run-through of anything that’s changed before the scene itself), this negotiation can be done in any way you’re comfortable: e-mail, phone call, text message, Skype video, or in-person.

This list is written for all – tops or bottoms, switches, Dominants, submissives, men, female, non-binary, etc. Disregard any questions that don’t make sense for your particular scenario, but keep in mind it can be pretty important to understand a top’s limitations as well. If they have a severe sensitivity to the smell of coffee you were entirely unaware of, showing up to play after a Venti coffee might ruin a good chunk of their experience.

Where Will You Be Playing?
This is the first question in your negotiation arsenal – and it’s one of the most important. If you’ve never met this person before in your life, you’d be safest playing at a local play party. Inherent in a lot of kink play is restraint or impact play. Both of those things have the potential to go very, very wrong if your other partner isn’t exactly who they portrayed themselves as. Whether it’s a submissive who goes into a seizure from an undisclosed medical problem or a dominant who won’t respect a safeword and is hurting you, both of these scenarios can have very-real consequences. With that being said, meeting and playing with a stranger at one of your local meet-ups or play parties is always one of the best ways to go about things. In big cities, kink dungeons can occasionally be rented as well. This is a good secondary option.

If neither of those would work out, you need to hold your horses a bit and get to know this particular person, in-person, a bit better before scheduling a playtime. Meet up for coffee or lunch, and enjoy conversing and learning a lot more about them. This time will let you feel them out – any red flags? Do they brag about past consequences? Do they seem to have trouble respecting your boundaries? Are they just entirely unwilling to even meet up for lunch – showing that they’re not even serious enough to make sure you’re comfortable?

If lunch goes swimmingly and you still find yourself with very few concerns, consider a hotel room (depending on the scene you both have negotiated). Not only does this insure this person doesn’t have your home address in case of an emergency, but it’s also a public-enough place that you can hopefully get some help with screaming or escaping the room. In a worst case scenario with restraints, the housekeeping will likely come in the next day and be able to help. As with any type of play, make sure to use a safe call and cover all your bases. At the bare minimum, you should have your potential partners’ name before playing.

As always, your safety should come long-before any fun. Use all the common sense you can manage.

What Are Your Safewords?
Both (or all, in group cases) people in a scene need to have a safeword. This is a word that, if stated, means that all action needs to stop instantly. Many play parties use the standard stoplight system: “green” for “loving it”, yellow for “Maybe a bit too much”, or “Red” for “Stop!”. If “Red” is spoken in a dungeon and the action doesn’t cease, bystanders can, and will, step in. This adds a layer of protection for you. Even with private play, however, to avoid miscommunication, agreeing upon a safeword ensures that there’s absolutely no confusion when one of the people in the scene wants things to stop.

What Do They Absolutely-Hate or Will Be Unwilling to Do?
This seems simple enough, but a lot of people will forget to include this in the face of finding out what turns someone on. You also need to know what turns them off – or just makes them super uncomfortable. How much bodily contact are they interested in? Are there things that they’re not comfortable doing with a stranger – or just will find an instant turn-off? Consider some of the basics – such as restraint or spankings – but don’t forget to think about pet names either. Some people will find “Slut” to be a huge turn-on – while others will Safeword if spoken to like that. There’s no point in doing things your partner finds to be a turn-off, so make sure you cover the basics of what you’d like to do in a scene as well as any basic things you’d want to do as well.

What Do They Love or Really Want to Get Out of the Play Session?
This is the best part of negotiation. What does your potential partner love? Find out their favorite kinks – and what they like about them. Make sure to listen closely, and try to find similarities to your own enjoyment. You certainly want both of you to come out of this arrangement satisfied. Once you have their general favorite kinks, consider asking about this play session is general. Have they been really craving a pegging session? Maybe they’ve been wanting to be bound spreadeagle for the past week? (Maybe they found a scene on Smut6 they’ve been inspired to try.) Find out what they’re currently craving or what they had in mind for this particular scene. You don’t have to give detailed specifics if you don’t want to ruin the surprise, but a general overview ensures you both had the same ideas in mind.

Do They Have Any Previous Physical Injuries or Limitations?
Especially for the purpose of restraint or rope bondage, knowing about someone’s physical limitations is important. Do they have weak knees that might make kneeling a problem? Does their collarbone hurt with any weight placed upon it? Do they any internal metal bone replacements that might be problematic for electrosex play? Is there a bruise on their thigh that’s still healing? I’d recommend going down the body, top to bottom, to try to reduce the likelihood that anything gets missed.

Do They Have Any Mental Limitations?
While this can be a delicate subject to approach, it’s important to do it. You may choose to phrase it like “Are there any activities that might upset you?” Some people have negative experiences with certain activities (such as maybe a caning that went too intensely) while others will just upset them in ways they know they dislike (such as hating any negative nicknames).

Any Allergies?
While this is most important with any types of intimate play, it’s still good to know in case of extreme allergies. Find out if your newfound play partner has any allergies – or anything that causes them headaches such as perfumes.

Any Aftercare Requests or Preferences?
How you come down can be just as important as how the scene goes. Some people are going to want to be cuddled. Others may just prefer that you sit down and discuss how things went – while others may just want a blanket and a snack while they rest for a bit. Discuss what you both enjoy and make sure to find a middle ground you can both work with. If one partner wants the other person to leave right after the scene, you’re going to be surprised when the other wants cuddling. Regardless of what methods you choose, unless your partner specifically requests otherwise, a quick call or text to check-in the next day is always considered polite.

What Toys Will Be Required? Who Will Bring Them?
By now, you’ve discussed what the general scene will look like, so now it’s time to think about what items this will require – and who will bring them. Some submissives, especially for penetration toys, prefer to use their own favorites instead of worrying about whether they’ll enjoy someone else’s. Some dominants are attached to a favorite pair of restraints or flogger. Have a general plan for activities, figure out what you need to bring, and figure out who needs to bring what. Feel free to bring a bit more if needed – you can always do last-minute negotiation before the scene to figure out if that would be a welcome addition.

What Are the Sexual Limitations – if Any? How Will We Navigate Those Safely?
Some people might say this is out-of-place in a kink negotiation, but it certainly isn’t. Especially when playing with a stranger or someone off the internet, you have no idea whether they consider “sex” to be a non-issue they hadn’t thought about – or the eventual way they’ll want to end the scene. You need to bring this up. Is smut on the table? Are certain types of sex okay but not others? What protection will be required, and who will be bringing that protection? Maybe you’re okay with hands-only, but you’d like your partner to use gloves. Maybe you’re unsure if you’re comfortable with that – and it’s okay to say “I’m not sure I’ll want to do that, but I’ll bring a condom just in case”. It’s better to be overprepared than underprepared.

I hope those questions helped start you on the right path for playing with a stranger – but of course, the list isn’t exhaustive by any means. Nobody wants to spend 3 hours in negotiation for a 45 minute scene, and honestly, a lot of that information might end up being useless for someone you’ll never play with again. These questions should help you get to the bottom of what’s important for play sessions.

Sexy Slave Polished Steel Wand Massager Review

February 17th, 17   •   Posted by Mistress Kay   •   No Comments »
Sexy Slave Polished Steel Wand Massager Review

Sexy Slave Polished Steel Wand Massager Review

Available on Amazon and crafted by SEXY SLAVE, the Polished Surgical Steel G-Spot Metal Wand Massager is a prostate/g-spot dildo. Clearly crafted after the famous Njoy version, this toy is made from 316 stainless steel. 7.8″ in length with two diameters (larger: 1.5″, smaller: 1″), this wand is specifically curved to hit sensitive areas once inserted.

The packaging for the SexySlave sex toy is designed to keep your toy safe until it reaches you – and impress you once you receive it. The Stainless Steel wand is packaged in a sturdy, plain-black box with a ribbon on the lid. Inside the box (in which the lid lifts off easily), the wand is packaged with foam that’s specifically-cut to hold the toy in place. The box, unfortunately, has “Sexy Slave” emblazoned in a logo on the lid (and it’s not a sticker), so the box isn’t going to be discreet for anyone who required discretion. I wish it was a sticker that would have peeled off. The box itself, though, is sturdy, and it’s going to work just fine for long-term storage of the wand.

The first thing anyone with any sex toy experience is going to notice is this wand’s similarity to the Njoy Pure Wand. And it is extremely similar. Safety-wise, the Sexy Slave alternative is going to be a decent-enough option for someone who needs to save a bit of money. There are no hard or rough edges or anything that would make this wand massager a concerning purchase. If you choose to go with the Njoy Pure Wand, you’ll end up with much better, higher-quality packaging as well as a toy that’s better-weighted and will have an easier-to-get-ahold-of customer service. Outside of that and a few measurement differences, the Sexy Slave Massage Wand is going to be very, very similar.

Sexy Slave Polished Steel Wand Massager Review

Sexy Slave Polished Steel Wand Massager

The toy does offer a little bit of a challenge (and dual-purpose use!) with the two differently-sized ends. One of the ends is a bit larger while the other is a bit smaller. Neither end is particularly “too small” or “too large”, though. Both tend to stick to the “just right” middle sizing. However, be aware that this is made from stainless steel, so it’s entirely rigid. There’s no “give” to it. This is fantastic for most people’s g-spot stimulation. Most of those internal erogenous zones respond particularly well to hard, rigid pressure – which this is. If you’re hoping to explore squirting or g-spot pleasure (or p-spot!), this is going to be one of the best shapes out there.

You are most-likely purchasing this as a g-spot or prostate dildo – and for that use, you’re absolutely going to love it. The Sexy Slave Polished Surgical Steel wand doesn’t wimp out when it comes to the g-spot curve that it’s equipped with. Instead, it takes that curve all the way. If you’ve had issues finding these most erogenous zones with other “standard” g-spot toys, you don’t have to worry nearly as much with this one. That curve lends itself particularly well to hitting pretty much anyone’s g-spot – including those people who find that theirs is tucked up pretty deep.

Sexy Slave Polished Steel Wand Massager Review

Size difference in the ends

Much like any stainless steel toy, this wand lends itself well to temperature play. This also includes unintentional temperature play. When stored at room temperature, the wand will still relatively chilled to the touch. I’d recommend pressing it against skin or running it under warm water even for regular use to avoid the chilling experience of a frigid toy at first insertion. (Or, if you like that, then you’re going to love all stainless steel toys!) If you want to manipulate the situation, though, this property also allows the Stainless Steel Wand to be great for temperature play. Let it run under hot or frigid water, and the toy will take on those temperature properties. Don’t place it in the microwave, however. Just let water and ice cubes do all of the hard work.

One of the bigger downsides to a stainless steel wand like this is the heft – and this one carries that same downside. Steel is heavy – noticeably so. Partnered with the fact that, when lubricated (whether by external lube or your body’s lube), steel can get slippery, this can definitely require regular breaks to unlock all of its potential. Keeping a towel nearby to wipe up the toy can really help with handling as well. Depending on how long you prefer to use your g-spot dildos for, you may find this toy becomes a two-handed affair to support the weight.

Sexy Slave Polished Steel Wand Massager Review

Packaging for the dildo

Cleaning a stainless steel wand like this is pretty simple. Since the material of this wand is entirely non-porous, rigid, and has no difficult crevices, it can be cleaned easily with warm water and anti-bacterial soap. I’d recommend being careful during cleaning not to drop the toy – it becomes slippery relatively easily when covered with soap and water. It can also be boiled or cleaned in a water/bleach bath for sterilization. This stainless steel wand is compatible with all types of lubricant. When it comes to storage. just make sur eto keep this wand somewhere where it will not get scratched or dropped – mostly because it may damage whatever the wand drops onto. The original packaging works great for storage, but a padded pouch would also suffice.

Overall, the Sexy Slave Polished Surgical Steel Metal Wand Massager is an easy-to-order metal g-spot dildo sold on Amazon. The delicious, intense curves are going to be perfect to hit most g-spots or prostates, and it’s made from a lovely non-porous material that’s going to be easy to clean. Especially if you have a deeper or harder to reach g-spot or just want to find your g-spot for the first time, you’re going to find this steel wand to be a very helpful tool. Thanks to Sexy Slave for providing this stainless steel g-spot wand for my G-Spot Metal Wand Massager review.