Finding Cheap Kink Toys Around Your House (AKA Pervertibles)

How to Find Kinky Pervertibles. A green spatula, a meat pounder, and a light blue scarf on top of a table.

With a little bit of creativity, literally anything can become a “sex toy”. Whether it’s used for spanking, penetration, or licking off the body, it’s pretty easy to take any item around the house and turn it into something that your partner will constantly see in a “new light” every time they walk through the hallway.

The reasons for using pervertibles are as varied as the pervertibles themselves. Some people like to use household objects for sexual fun as it provides a kinkier aspect to play – after all, you can make a scene revolving around “humiliation” if you’ll only allow your partner to be spanked with objects she can find around the house. Other people just prefer the fun of seeing what items around the house can be made into a sexual object. Some just want to find a way to satisfy their partners or to have creative ideas in their search for local horny women. Others yet just prefer the extreme cost savings between buying specifically-made kink toys and doing a DIY method. (Especially in the case of insertables, though, it’s worth dolling out the cash!).

However, make sure to keep safety in mind. Since all of the toys you’re playing with are NOT designed for sex – and likely haven’t been cleaned recently for sexual purposes – make sure to treat them as such. If you know you’re going to be drawing blood or using something for penetration, make sure to clean or sterilize it as best as possible. And of course, assume EVERY item you use as a pervertible is entirely disposable. Using these items for their non-intended use can break them relatively easy. So the family heirloom? Probably a hard limit. But that $1 spatula you’d just replace? Have at it!

So, what items can have a new use for around your home?

Spanking Items: Easily the biggest category out there, almost everything in your home can be used as an impact toy. I mean, you could literally take the trash bag out of your kitchen garbage can and use the trash can to spank your partner! For the less extreme, though, consider a lot of the other items around your home: ladles, books, rolled up newspapers, shoes, bundled-up cables, sports paddles/rackets, hairbrushes, decorative lawn ornaments (especially large candy canes near holiday time!), cereal boxes, plastic containers, and more. Just be prepared for lose/break any of these items. Spanking, in particular, is what’s most likely to break most of your items.

Clamps: Anything that can “clamp” can be used as clamps. Clothespins are definitely the most-popular option, but clothespin clamp – and TIGHT. A lot of beginners aren’t too fond of sensation of that. Consider looking in stationary aisles at your local stores – including your craft stores. There are lots of decorative clips and pins that could work great as sexual clamps – and they’ll likely be a whole lot prettier than clothespins.

Restraints: Restraints are an easy one to play around with – and very versatile! Just make sure you have safety shears (or, at the very least, some sharp scissors!) around to cut out your partner. Lots of fabrics that aren’t bondage rope tend to hold knots tightly – very tightly – to the point where you likely won’t be able to undo them. A knot that you thought was “okay” when you tied it is going to become “holycrap tight” after your partner has been struggling and tugging on it for a half an hour. Make sure that you can slide two fingers underneath between the restraint and your partner’s skin – that’s a comfortable and less-risky bondage tightness level. Avoid the use of zip ties unless you know what you’re doing – they can do serious damage. Household objects that can be used for restraints include scarfs, belts, electronics cords (hello, extra useless USB cord ;) ), shopping bags, discarded clothing, and more. Don’t forget about household plastic/cling wrap. Easily bind any part of the body with just a couple wraps of the plastic. A trip to local fabric stores might also offer options for restraints. If you’re on a budget, look in their discount fabric remnant bins.

Sensual Play: Virtually every item in your home can be used for sensual play. Use a scarf for a blindfold or gently run the edges of the soft material along the skin. Use cheap ear plugs or noise-cancelling headphones to reduce someone’s ability to hear. Use standard body lotion to easily slicken the skin for massages. Low-temperature candles can be used for wax play while an ice cube can offer a chilling sensation. Change up how your own hands feel by wearing gloves to touch your partner – or tie really thick oven mitts to your partner to make them unable to use their fingers. Almost any item in your house can be lightly dragged along the skin for a unique sensation include feather dusters, chains, fabric of clothing, napkins, paper, washcloths, and more.

For Sexual Foodies: Does your kitchen sound like the perfect place for sex? Maybe you just really love food – and sex – and want to combine the two? Lots of treats in the kitchen lend themselves well to perverting. Consider the standard chocolate syrup, caramel syrup, whipped cream, and more. You might even want to think about pouring your syrup into a bowl and using a chopstick to “dip” and “draw” onto your partner before licking it off. Not into sticky substances? Any food can be made a “pervertible” too! Just have your partner lie out naked – and serve on them as your “plate” for the meal. (Just make sure to keep any sweet/sugar-y items away from the vagina!)

Insertables: If you’re looking to find the most dangerous of the pervertables, you’ve found it. Using items for insertion that weren’t designed for insertion can be a really, really bad idea. So before you go and get your mind set on sticking something where it shouldn’t be, make sure you’ve thought about all of the risk potentials. Could the item possibly break inside of you? If it’s going in the butt, do you have an easy way to insure you can get it back out? Is the item itself going to be bad for the vaginal environment? (For example, nothing sugary or sweet should go inside the vagina unless you want an infection!) Can this item create suction that could potentially damage the vagina (such as glass bottles)? Is this particular item clean and ready for use? No matter what you plan on playing with, cover it with a condom – these items weren’t designed to make it in a body, so a condom at least provides another layer of safety. Common household items as a dildo include: vegetables (especially carrots or cucumbers), sturdy-made non-wood hairbrushes that don’t come apart, toothbrushes, and plastic containers (such as shampoo bottles).

Furniture: Who said all of your kinky items had to be movable?! Furniture can be used for “pervertible” purposes too. All it requires is a bit of creativity. The washing machine can be used to add extra stimulation during sex. You can bend someone over a table pretty easily. Consider bending a partner over a footrest for sex or as an impromptu spanking bench! A kitchen chair partnered with some handcuffs easily becomes a good place for CBT or other genital-focused play. Any tiled floor quickly becomes a surface perfect for easy clean-up after wet and messy play. Whatever you’re choosing to use, just make sure the surface can handle the body weight and the force of what you’re looking to do on it!

Now that you have a good idea of some of the kink ways to you can use some of your favorite household items, I’m going to give you a dare: why don’t you hit up your local dollar store (where everything is actually a dollar!) and purchase items purely with the intent of using them for sexual purposes later. The low price tag means you won’t be upset when you break things later, and you’ll end up finding tons of uses for items you hadn’t even imagined!

(This list is by no means exhaustive! If you have your own items you’d like to suggest, feel free to leave a comment. Your experience could be someone else’s inspiration!)

Mistress Kay
Mistress Kay
Sex toy reviewer, kink educator, and weirdo who is constantly staging pretty photos for sex toys.

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