7 Simple Tips for Dating in College

April 29th, 17   •   Posted by Mistress Kay   •   No Comment

College is a time for learning, of course, but is also a time for exploring who you are. For some, this means being free to date without Mom and Dad looking over their shoulder, but that doesn’t mean you should go crazy right away. These tips will help you get the most out of dating in college.

Avoid Doing It for the First Two Months
With the chaos of getting used to being away from home, you may feel the need to latch onto someone right away. Even so, you should avoid getting into a relationship for the first couple of months of college. When a new relationship begins, both parties tend to neglect their other friends and responsibilities during the “honeymoon phase,” which will make it harder for you to acclimate to your university in other ways. Spend the first couple of months focusing on learning campus, setting a routine, and meeting platonic friends.

Take Dating Slowly
When you do begin dating, take it slowly. In high school, you probably saw a lot of couples who skipped dating — either due to lack of funds, transportation, or interesting things to do in your town — and skip straight to claiming to be in an exclusive relationship. Now that you’re in college, you should get to know the people you’re interested in before making anything official. Spend time in a variety of social situations with your friends and your dating partner’s friends to determine how compatible you truly are.

Don’t Date Where You Sleep
Stop thinking about how many times you’ve run into your cute neighbor in the communal showers and instead focus your dating efforts on people who don’t live in your dorm and aren’t majoring in the same thing as you. The reality is that many college relationships don’t work out. If yours goes south, will you really want to see your ex as you brush your teeth each morning or when you’re supposed to be focusing on that exam that’s worth half your final grade?

Make Time for Your Classes
Don’t skip out on your responsibilities to spend time with your boyfriend or girlfriend, even if the weather is perfect and you just can’t imagine spending one more hour in a dark and crowded lecture hall. College classes are a lot longer than the ones you took in high school and give you plenty more information. Skipping just one not only likely leaves you behind on important information but also makes it easy to create a slippery slope of skipping class — after all, there is nobody to haul you to the principal’s office — and leave you too far behind to catch up.

Enjoy Time Apart
Even if you do meet someone you want to date exclusively, don’t give up your own identity. It is important and healthy to spend time apart. Have separate study groups, avoid spending every school break together, and don’t feel the need to spend every single night at each other’s dorms. Go to a party, to the movies, or out to eat with your friends without your boyfriend or girlfriend in tow. Check out an event you’ve been interested in and go solo. Even spending an occasional night alone in the library can be beneficial for maintaining your own identity.

Try Dating Someone Who Isn’t Your Type
What type did you go for in high school? College is probably going to introduce you to people from all types of backgrounds, with all kinds of styles and a wide variety of world views. If you previously only dated athletes but you’ve always been attracted to artists, college is the time to meet them. At worst, dating someone who isn’t your normal type will likely be a learning experience.

Consider a Casual Hook-Up
If you just want to focus on your studies, there is nothing wrong with that — in fact, many people would consider the dedication admirable. Of course, you are still a young person who is discovering your sexual identity, so it is OK to consider casual hook-ups as long as you are safe about them. Always use protection, make sure to have a conversation about birth control and ensure you’re all covered in some way, and never meet new people at your dorm or in other private places. Websites, such as Badults, make it easy for you to find people who are looking for the same type of relationship you are.

Above all else, end relationships you aren’t happy in. Relationships are work, sure, but they are supposed to make you happy, too. If yours doesn’t, it’s the wrong one.




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